Giselle
Sitting there mute, he just looked at me as if he couldn't hear now. I nodded slowly, already knowing everything I needed to know by his silence.
Everything was beginning to add up. Him needing to leave last night for "business", the cocaine in his closet and him coming back being covered in blood.
This was no longer the person I'd fallen in love
with. In just three years he'd become someone completely different.
Quickly standing to my feet, he sat up slowly as he roughly grabbed my arm.
"Stop." I snapped at him, making him let me go.
"So this is the person you've turned into?"
"Disrespecting me on camera, having sex with random bitches, selling drugs and getting down with your uncle and my cousin?"
"Something you told me you'd never do." I spat to him with knowing eyes and he scoffed, looking away from me.
"Yeah and you told me you'd never leave so I guess we both lied right?" He looked me into my eyes and I bit my lip hard as I walked away from him and began to put my shoes on.
"Oh. I apologize, Ms. Privilege."
"Everybody can't just move out of Jersey and go and do whatever fuck you was doing for three years." He spat to me and I knew he'd been waiting to say that.
He been waiting a long time to say that and honestly I'm glad he'd gotten the chance to because after today he would never have another one.
This was my last and final visit.
"You mad as shit right now like a nigga ain't gotta do what I gotta do to survive." He continued on, trying to preach that street bullshit to me but I wasn't trying to hear that.
He knew I would never agree.
"So drugs?" I asked, looking at him with sad eyes.
"Drugs, Abir?" I went on, realizing me leaving was probably one of the reasons he felt he had to do it in the first place.
"You know I don't like this for you, your so much better than that." I went on, biting my lip hard as my tears threatened to fall again for the hundredth time in just a few hours with this man.
I'd never wanted him to be out here and be like these other guys. He was a good guy and I always told him that. He stayed to himself and he made his money the legal way.
He didn't need this bullshit.
"You're a good guy Abir and you know it." I shook my head in disappointment.
Despite everything that he went down before any of this, he was a great man.
"I wasn't good enough back then though right?" He spoke up, tilting his head as he looked into my eyes.
"When I asked you to stay with me three years ago and I told you I got us.." He trailed off.
"I wasn't good enough then?"
"My legal job wasn't good enough then?" He went on, taunting me now and I just shook my head at him.
"Right?" He went on as I turned on my heels to leave. I wasn't about to sit here and take this.
He wanted to be stupid then so be it. We didn't have shit to talk about because I wasn't talking to a drug dealing, no good ass, gang member.
Swinging his room's door open,, I prepared myself to leave as he went on taunting me.
"Where you gon'? I got enough fuckin' money for you now?" He spat, throwing a stack of money at me as it spilled all over the floor by my feet.
"You believe in me now?" He continued as he walked up on me and I looked up into his eyes as he stood there looking down into mine.
"You were enough then, Abir. You ain't shit now." I spat at him, turning to leave completely.
I was through with all of this and him.
Though I didn't fully get the talk I wanted, this was enough to make me realize there was no more Abir and I.
He was different and so was I.
So I guess we were over for good.
*
Later on that day
"GG!" I heard people calling me as I made my way up my grandma's block.
It seemed as if the whole damn hood was outside in front of my grandmother's house and as soon as I walked up, everybody wanted information.
"Girl, what happened?" Kayla spoke up as a group of girl stood behind her, waiting for all of the details.
"Right, I want to know too. I should've came last night." One girl pouted as I stood there in distress.
"Girl, every body saying after Abir caught you with that boy last night, he put hands on you once y'all got in the car and you were leaking blood and stuff."
"Not uh. I heard her and Abir fucked in the backseat of his car and they ended up getting back together after all of that shit happened." Asia blurted out as everybody gasped and I sighed deeply, pushing my hair out of my face.
Deciding to ignore everybody's assumptions, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and I pulled it out to look at it, seeing that it was Abir's number flashing across my screen with a text.
Don't go run and tell nobody our fucking business. He sent.
Reading the message, I rolled my eyes hard before pushing all of my thoughts to the back of my mind and spat something that I knew I would regret.
"Only thing I know is, I should've fuck that boy." I spoke smartly and everybody gasped, instigating loudly and I felt so bad for saying it but I'd already said it now.
It was too late to take it back.
"G.." Mila trailed off from the top of the staircase as everybody went on and on instigating and I shrugged, not even caring.
Everybody continued to hype me up for a while before they were all cut off by loud talking.
"How about all of y'all get off of my mama's step and we won't have no problems out here." My auntie Tee spoke up as Mila stood to her feet, telling everybody to leave as well.
Once they got the steps and the street cleared, her, Mila and I walked into the house, seeing my grandma was sitting on the couch.
"GG." She called me as I walked in and sat down beside her.
"Hi, mom mom." I spoke innocently as she gave me a knowing look.
"What happened last night with you and Abir?" She asked, cutting the bullshit and I shook my head.
"Nothing, mom mom. I promise." I admitted to her, everything that everybody was saying was lies.
"None of the stories are true." I went on telling her.
"Me and Abir only went to his house to talk because we really needed to but he didn't hit me and I wasn't leaking blood or anything."
"Hm." Was all she said, tooting her lips up.
"Well what is, I hear, you were caught in a room with some boy at some party last night." She went on asking and I sighed deeply, looking over to Mila but she shook her head, clearing her name.
"It wasn't Mila or Tee." She said to me as I sat there, feeling guilty.
"I have ears in these streets just like y'all do and y'all are both 21 years old so I don't care too much about what the hell y'all are doing as long as it doesn't involve unprotected sex or getting into any kind of trouble."
"But this is your third day back GG and I don't need you out here getting into any mess." She spoke sternly.
"I gave y'all the summer off because I know y'all want to go out and have fun but if I find out that y'all out here doing things that y'all shouldn't then I'll make y'all work the summer too." Was all she said and I nodded, looking at her as she looked into my eyes.
"Now I don't know what the hell is really going on."
"But you and Abir need to figure out what y'all are going to do because this is only your third day here and I've been hearing you and his name everyday out in these streets since."
"Hold on. It's not their fault though mom mom, it's everybody else being in their business. Putting all kinds of stuff in GG's head at that." Mila spoke up for me, making me look at her.
"And GG you need to understand that they are just trying to get a rile out of you so they can go back and tell Abir things and vice versa to keep up the hype." My auntie Tee spoke and I looked down at my hands, realizing that me just saying what I said to them outside didn't make it any better.
They would just run back and tell people, especially him.
"They like the drama." She went on and I nodded in agreement.
She was right.
"They're feeding off it and as long as y'all keep feeding into it, they're going to keep stirring the pot."
"I know." I sighed deeply, looking down at my hands.
"Listen, just keep y'all's business to yourself and whatever y'all talk about, keep it between y'all. Don't tell anybody else any more information about you or him, alright?" She went on and I nodded.
"Alright." Was all she said as she stood to her feet and the front door swung open as Lani and Angel came through it.
"GG, what happened? I heard Abir hit you." They both spoke urgently as they came over to me and my grandma raised her hand, waving them off.
"Don't come in here with that mess. It's not true." She spoke sternly and they both looked from me to her.
"Oh alright because I was about it to say.." Angel trailed off, making me smile small.
"No. I'm good, Ang. Thank you though." I spoke barely above a whisper as I slowly stood to my feet.
All I wanted to do now was take a shower and relax. I'd had a really long night and I needed it.
"Come on, Mila. I'm about to take a shower and then I need to talk to you." I admitted to her and she nodded, standing to her feet as we both made our way upstairs.
*