HOOR POV:
I hesitantly stepped inside Sikander's house, my eyes scanning the simple yet welcoming surroundings. The quietness of the place brought a sense of calm, a stark contrast to the nervousness bubbling within me. As the door closed behind me, the reality sank in—I was alone in this house with men, a thought that sent shivers down my spine.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to steady my racing heart. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead, and my hands turned cold despite the warmth of the room. I repeated to myself, "I am not with any other men but my husband,"
Just as I started to regain my composure, I felt strong arms wrap around me from behind. My body got tensed but then I recognized Sikander's scent and the familiar feel of his embrace. He was humming softly, the vibrations soothing as he gently rocked my body.
I closed my eyes, allowing myself to lean into his hug, feeling the tension slowly melting away. His warmth enveloped me, calming the storm of emotions raging inside. A few tears escaped my eyes, a mix of relief and vulnerability washing over me.
In that moment, I realized how much I relied on Sikander's presence to feel safe and grounded. Dispite my doubts and insecurities, his comforting hug was like a lifeline.
As Sikander continued to hold me close, I couldn't help but think, "I don't deserve him." I closed my eyes tightly, as reality slowly sink in. How could I forget that? How could I possibly for a moment think that I... I deserve him.
A gentle finger reached under my chin, lifting my face as tears streamed down my cheeks. My eyes remained closed, the touch both comforting and unsettling. A soft touch wiped away my tears, and as I slowly opened my eyes, I found myself gazing into Sikander's dark eyes.
"Don't cry, my angel," he spoke softly, his voice a soothing melody in the midst of my turmoil. "Don't cry over the past; it's gone. You can't change what has already happened, so don't waste your time thinking about it. Don't stress about the future; it hasn't arrived. So, move on, let go, and get over it. Live in the present and make it more beautiful."
His words pierced through my heart, a bittersweet reminder of the need to embrace the present despite the shadows of the past and the uncertainties of tomorrow. I bit my lip, trying to contain the flood of emotions threatening to overwhelm me. More tears fell, and I looked down in shame, feeling exposed and vulnerable.
Wiping my tears, I gently pushed him away, needing a moment to collect my thoughts. "I am tired," I whispered, the weight of my emotions heavy on my shoulders.
As I looked at Sikander, expecting to see a reaction, his face remained emotionless. His eyes, usually so expressive, were blank, leaving me to wonder what thoughts were hidden behind that facade. He turned away and walked into another room, leaving me standing alone, grappling with my inner turmoil.
After a few moments of hesitation, I followed him into the room. The sound of running water from the bathroom indicated that Sikander was showering. His scent lingered in the air, a familiar comfort amidst the chaos of my thoughts. I sat on the edge of his bed, feeling a mix of uncertainty and longing.
The bathroom door opened, and I forced myself to avoid looking at him directly. "Tomorrow morning, I have to leave for the next two weeks," his voice broke the silence, pulling me out of my reverie. I glanced at him briefly, noticing him busy packing his belongings. Questions lingered on the tip of my tongue, but I stayed silent, choosing not to pry into his plans.
I entered to the bathroom, and showered and changed my clothes. As I stepped out, my heart raced with nervousness, knowing Sikander was just outside. I opened the door slowly, revealing him lying on his side, peacefully asleep.
His serene expression tugged at my heartstrings, and I couldn't help but approach him. Sitting beside him, I studied his features, marveling at his peaceful face in sleep. His hair fell gently on his forehead, and an overwhelming urge to touch it washed over me.
With trembling fingers, I brushed his hair back, savoring the softness under my touch. "I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice barely audible in the quiet room. "I'm sorry for hurting you, for pushing you away. I- how can I let get near to me. How? How can I forget that my past tame me. I am scared. I am so scared to lose you. You were the only hope I had, because of you just because of you I am breathing. The guilt is eating me slowly. I- how can i forget and let get near to me?"
Tears welled up again, and I struggled to contain my sobs, placing a hand over my mouth. My head started to spin my vision blurred as I slowly started to take few deep breaths. After a moment of silent sobbing, I regained control and slowly moved away, giving Sikander his space.
Despite my emotional outburst, sleep eluded me. I lay on the other side of the bed, far from Sikander's sleeping form, staring at his back as he peacefully slumbered. A mix of emotions churned inside me—guilt, longing, and a deep sense of gratitude for Sikander's presence in my life.
As the night wore on, I closed my eyes, the rhythmic sound of Sikander's breathing lulling me into a restless sleep, thoughts and emotions swirling in my mind.
IN THE MORNING:
I slowly opened my eyes, feeling disoriented in the unfamiliar surroundings. Rubbing my eyes, I glanced around the room, furrowing my brow in confusion. Then, a sudden realization struck me, and my eyes widened in disbelief. "Oh my God!" I exclaimed softly, my heart racing as I hurriedly gathered my clothes and rushed into the bathroom.
After freshening up, I emerged from the bathroom, feeling a bit more composed. Stepping out of the room, I was met with a blanket of silence that enveloped the house. I looked around, trying to orient myself in this new environment. After a few minutes of exploration, I finally located the kitchen, where breakfast awaited me, accompanied by a note placed neatly on the table.
Before I could reach for the note, the doorbell rang, startling me. I glanced at the note again, deciding to read it later. With cautious steps, I made my way to the door and opened it to find a young man dressed in a crisp army uniform standing before me making me grip the door tightly. My mind went on full alert as i stared at him in caution.
"Mrs. Sekandir," the young man addressed me formally, causing my grip on the door to tighten reflexively. "Major Sekandir has instructed me to take you to the clinic." The mention of a clinic caught me off guard. Why would I need to go to a clinic? I felt a nervous flutter in my stomach as I bit my lip, wondering if there was something wrong that I wasn't aware of.
"Please wait here," I replied, closing the door behind me as I hurriedly made my way to my room. Grabbing my phone, I frantically searched for my husband's number, my heart racing with worry. Panic set in when I couldn't find his number saved in my contacts. The thought of being alone in the house with a stranger outside intensified my anxiety. What if the man at the door was lying, or worse, what if he posed a threat?
A sudden realization struck me, and I remembered the note that accompanied breakfast. Rushing back to the kitchen, I retrieved the note and felt a wave of relief wash over me as I found my husband's number written on it.
I dialed his number, my fingers trembling slightly as I waited for the call to connect. After a few seconds, the call was picked up, and I heard his familiar voice on the other end, instantly bringing a sense of peace to my anxious mind. "Asalam O Alikum, Major Sekandir speaking," he greeted me calmly.
Taking a deep breath, I gathered my courage and spoke, "There... there is a man outside the house saying that you sent him for me?" The words rushed out of me, and I released the breath I didn't realize I had been holding. A knot formed in my throat as I awaited his response, silently praying for reassurance.
"Yes, I sent him. Go with him, and please don't call me to ask these nonsense things," his reply was abrupt, cutting through the line before I could say anything else. I stared at my phone in disbelief, feeling a mix of hurt and confusion. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I blinked them back, trying to compose myself. Negative thoughts slowly started to creeped in.
It wasn't his fault; he didn't choose this marriage any more than I did. We were mere children when our Nikah was performed, I only four years old, and he twelve. It was an arrangement made by our families, and now we were dealing with the consequences. It felt unfair, unfair to both of us.
The doorbell rang again, interrupting my thoughts. Mentally chiding myself for forgetting about the man waiting outside, I quickly wiped away any traces of tears and composed myself. In just five minutes, I got ready to accompany the man to the clinic, pushing aside my emotions to deal with the situation at hand.
AFTER ONE AND HALF WEEK:
One and a half weeks had passed since I last saw him. Not a single call came from him, and I refrained from reaching out as well, not wanting to bother him with what I deemed as trivial matters. But deep down, I couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't checked on me even once. Did his responsibilities consume him to the extent that he couldn't spare a moment for me?
Previous week he seemed so close to me but now... He didn't even bothered to check up on me.
On the day of my appointment at the clinic, I followed his instructions diligently. The therapist, a kind woman, delved into my life, asking probing questions that I hesitated to answer at first. However, as the session progressed, I found myself opening up, sharing my innermost thoughts and experiences. Her guidance and support were invaluable, and I felt a sense of gratitude towards her for helping me navigate through my emotions.
As evening approached, I decided to distract myself by preparing dinner while listening to some soothing music. Lost in the rhythm, I swayed and moved, unaware of my surroundings until a voice interrupted my reverie.
"Ap?" (You)
I froze in place, my movements coming to an abrupt halt as I turned to face the unexpected presence.
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Asalam O Alikum Everyone, hope you are all having a nice day. I am sorry for the mistakes and also plz point out if u find any.
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