Chapter 10: The Artist
Sitting at my desk, I sketched a few more lines as Seth sat perfectly motionless on my bed. He was holding the stuffed puppy Quil had given me a long time ago. He liked it because the fur color was similar to his own. As I sketched, I glanced over at him again trying to work in the last details. His eyes caught my own, and I blushed looking away. This had been a repeated action in the last half hour.
"Almost," I said. "Just let me clean up the edges." I took the eraser I hadn't used in months and cleaned up the messy lines that weren't needed. Once I was done, I smiled widely. "There. I think I'm finished."
He was excited. Jumping up from the bed, he practically flung himself at the sketchbook. I held it up for him to see. It was a portrait of him from his head to chest. He was wearing a shirt, so I added the fabric lines as well. His eyes went wide and his mouth dropped in bewilderment as he saw my skills.
"Woah! Why the hell are Jacob and Billy hiding you from the world?! You've got talent, Hannah!"
I was modest. "It's not that good. I took some art classes over the years and made it my side hobby. I tried to keep up with it because it was relaxing. It actually feels really good to get back to it. Feels like a century since I last did a drawing or anything artistic."
"You still are going to let me have one of your old works, right?!" He was staring at me with anticipation.
I set the sketchbook down. "Most of them are in boxes in the garage... if you help me get one down you can have as many as you like."
He grinned. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the chair. "Well, what are we waiting for?!" He pulled me out of the room, past my dad and Sam who were chatting in the kitchen, and outside down the ramp. We made our way to the side of the house toward the small one car garage that only Jacob really used anymore. I grabbed the key from under the stone by the rocky drive and unlocked the sliding door. Once it was open, I headed in and immediately stepped in oil.
I gasped as my foot slipped and I went falling back. Seth caught me easily under my arms and held me up.
"Damn it, Jake... can't clean up after himself for a second," I muttered.
Seth steadied me. "So I don't need to be concerned about a redhead killing you. Clearly it's going to be motor oil and clumsiness."
I pulled from him. "Your comment just limited you to two art pieces," I joked.
He rolled his eyes. "I don't think you can stop me. I could steal the whole box away in a blink."
I sighed. "Probably wouldn't even notice it was gone."
I stepped over to our built in shelves and pointed to a large blue Tupperware box that was eye level to me. "These are some of the ones I did last fall..."
Thinking about a time before werewolves and vampires changed my life felt really strange to me.
Seth easily grabbed it and carried it out of the garage. As we got back inside, my dad caught our action from the corner of his eyes. "What's all that?"
Sam was curious too. He tried to make a joke. "Are you moving? Running away with Seth already?"
Seth scoffed. "Like we could. Your spies didn't give us ten minutes alone last night."
Sam smirked. "I didn't send those spies, Seth. That was all Jacob."
I answered my dad's question. "Seth wanted to pick out some of my old artwork to take home. I didn't give him a present yesterday since no one informed me of his date of birth."
Dad chuckled at my irritated tone.
Sam was shocked. "Wow... I think we are finally getting some of the old Hannah back. Keep up the good work Seth."
My boyfriend seemed delighted others were noticing too. "She's definitely showing her personality again. She just cursed Jacob for not cleaning the garage and trying to break her neck."
I felt my cheeks go red. I was not enjoying being the center of attention. "Come on, Seth." I grabbed his shirt sleeve.
"Oh, Hannah." Dad stopped me before we were about to walk away. "I spoke to Sam about you leaving the reservation Monday. Charlie invited us to come to Bella's graduation. We wanted to let you choose. Embry has offered to spend the day with you if you want to stay in La Push. Quil and Seth have to go to Paul and Jared's ceremony, so they'll join you after. But the decision is yours."
I hesitated. I hadn't left La Push since my runaway attempt the other weekend, but the thought of being out in the open and not within the protected territory of the pack made me too nervous.
"I... I think I'll stay in La Push... I... I don't really want to be near all of those people right now."
My dad nodded. "Of course. I'll let Embry know. I'm sure Bella will understand."
We left them then to go into my room. Seth set the box on the bed, but looked at me with concern. "You sure you don't want to go? Don't you feel suffocated here? You haven't left La Push since you were brought back two weeks ago."
I sat on my desk chair and shook my head. "No... I don't feel comfortable being away from home now honestly. Edward told me to take all of this seriously, and I think when I heard his own concern that made me realize I really am in danger. I want to do all I can to make sure Alice's vision doesn't come true... I finally found happiness. I don't want to lose it."
Seth frowned. He sat on the bed across from me and took my hand in his. He gave it a squeeze. "I know you're still worried about the vision, but please try to not let it overcome you with fear. We are all on high alert. We have someone on patrol every minute of the day. You are safe as long as you are with the pack."
I nodded. "I know... but I'm still scared."
He nodded. "And you have every right to be. But don't let it cause you to hide. As long as you're with us you will be okay."
I gave a small smile.
He let go of my hand and turned to the box. "Okay! Present time!" He grabbed the lid on the box and yanked it off, dropping it to the side. As he opened it, he pulled out some canvases I hadn't seen since December. He scoured the box like a boy on Christmas tearing open presents. His eyes examined each painting with thrill, and each drawing with bewilderment. He selected two forest scenes, and four self portraits I had done.
He pulled out a painting though and stopped his search. It was a 5x7 canvas of my mom. I had been practicing oils and wanted to do something with her on it. I painted her sitting at a window seat staring at the moon outside.
"Your mom, right?"
I frowned. Taking the painting from him, I ran my hand over the russet colored paint of her face. Her black hair was the same length as my own. Her blue eyes twinkled in the moonlight.
"Yeah... I was feeling a little sad. It was the anniversary of her death."
He frowned. "I only knew her a little. My mom and her would hang out sometimes. She was always so nice. You remind me a lot of her from what I remember."
I nodded. I put the painting in my lap. "Dad once said he could bear the loss a little better because he sees her in me."
"I see where you got your beauty from, that's for sure."
Seth finished going through my paintings and drawings, throwing all the ones of Embry, Jacob, and Quil aside. He asked me why I didn't have a lot of my sisters. I explained to him that the few I had done were mailed to them upon their request over the last two years.
"Do you miss them?"
I pulled my feet up on the chair and hugged my knees. "Yeah... they were the only things that kept me going in the last two months. They would call me often to make sure I was okay. Rebecca had offered to let me come live with her and her husband. I finally felt bad they were worrying about me though and started lying to them in the last few days of my solitude. I told them I had made new friends and was doing okay. Their phone calls stopped because they thought I was doing better..."
Seth wasn't thrilled to hear this. "In other words, you were just sinking deeper away by the end...?"
I sighed and rested my cheek on my knee looking out my window at the woods. The sky was gray, but thankfully it wasn't raining. "I tried to find my happiness... in small things... I would watch the birds fly, and listen to the waves. I would also go visit my mom's grave on days I just needed to get out of the house. I would pick flowers from Elder Ruth's greenhouse for the grave after helping her clean a little around her home... I knew my dad wasn't visiting the grave site, so it made me feel good that at least someone was taking care of her resting place. Being there gave me a strange sense of comfort; Like I wasn't alone." I smiled a little. "Who knows... maybe ghosts are real too..."
Seth cringed. "As long as they're good ghosts I guess. I don't think we are able to kill evil apparitions with our teeth."
I shivered. "I think you all have enough to worry about with vampires..."
The rest of the weekend passed pretty uneventfully. Collin and Brady came over with Seth on Sunday after they patrolled before noon, and we headed down to the beach together. Embry, Quil, and Jacob were busy doing extra patrols for Sam so that Paul and Jared could get ready for their graduation the next day. I could sense this morning when Jacob found out I was going to the beach with Seth and the other two he was a little hurt. He seemed to think I was trying to replace him and the guys. I wanted to tell him he was wrong, but I didn't really see a point in defending myself. I guess I was still a tad bitter about the abandonment back at the beginning of the year even though I understood the reasons why.
While we were at the beach, Collin threw me over his shoulder and ran me into the water at one point. I screamed and Seth chased after us, saving me right before I was dunked. Brady laughed on the shore. When Seth got me back to dry land, holding me in his arms to protect me from the waves, I was laughing. Seth wasn't amused. But he lightened up when he saw I had enjoyed myself.
Later that evening we went over to Seth's house and Sue made us dinner. As Collin, Seth, and Brady wolfed their pasta down, I ate what I could. Despite my appetite getting better, I still was having a hard time eating without getting nauseous. Sue was glad to see I ate half my plate though.
As I went to leave the house so Seth could walk me home, I was shocked when I saw one of my forest paintings on the wall. I looked over at Seth with bewilderment. He smiled and told me his mom stole a few when he brought the small stash home yesterday. I felt a slight comfort knowing that my art skills were enjoyed by others.
Later that night when I got home, Jacob was super giddy and in a much better mood. He hadn't seen Bella since he fractured her hand, so he was excited he would get to see her at her graduation in the morning. He also said that Quil, Embry, and him were planning on crashing her graduation party at the Cullens house tomorrow night. I asked him if that was even allowed with the treaty. He just answered, "Treaty says they can't come on our land. It never said we can't go on theirs."
Dad sighed when he heard this while we sat in the living room. "Just don't kiss her around her boyfriend. I can't have my son ending up dead for angering the mind reader."
Jacob waved him off. "Edward would never kill me. Bella would be devastated. But I'll behave. I want to give Bella a gift and I have a feeling I won't be able to hand it to her at the ceremony tomorrow."
"Tell her I said congrats," I spoke. "I would say you only graduate high school once, but I hear the Cullens have graduated more than that."
Jacob huffed "I don't know why anyone- vampire or human- would want to suffer through high school all over again."
Dad nodded. "Speaking of that. I'll be looking for your report cards in the mail soon."
I cringed. I was certain he would not be happy with my grades. I was lucky if I actually even passed my sophomore year. But the school hadn't called yet about making me do summer school so hopefully I was in the clear.
However, it felt good to stress about human things again. I had been so anxious about Alice's vision and the vampire intruder from the other day, so thinking about school made me feel for once a sense of normalcy.
That night, I did a few drawings to clear my head and relax more into my partial normality. As I sketched out the outline of a wolf, and etched in some fur, I grabbed some colored pencils and put in the sandy color, filling the page with warmth. I did a drawing of Seth first, then a new one of Jacob. I recalled their features in my mind. I also did one with Quil and Embry on the same page. When I was done, I saw the clock was close to 11pm. I felt my hand ache telling me it was time to stop.
Crawling into my bed, I was a little bummed that Seth was sleeping at his own home tonight. I heard Leah was patrolling the area at current with Sam which I was certain she was not thrilled about.
As I started to drift, knowing Jacob was next door beside me if something happened, I hoped for a dreamless sleep. But I found I was disappointed.
As I drifted, the images came. They were blurry at first. Just pointless flashes of my date with Seth, and a box full of endless paintings. But then the dream became more vivid and I was consumed.
I found I was standing at the treaty line where my brother and I had picked up Bella for the bonfire. While I stood at the very spot where Edward had not crossed that night, I stared at the wolves as they were lined up before me. Jared and Paul stood on both sides of Sam. I saw to the left of Paul was Quil and Brady; To the right of Jared was Embry, Leah, and Collin. Jacob and Seth were behind them in their human form. They both looked angry. I was confused.
"Leave, Leech! The treaty stands and you cannot cross the line!" Jacob shouted.
I looked behind me thinking there was a vampire. There was nothing but forest. I looked back at Jacob with shock. He was looking at me.
I stepped back. As I did, I saw before me on the ground something horrifying. My father, his body was slumped over and he was dead. His chair was a few feet away on its side. There was a gash in his neck where he had been drained.
"Dad!" I reached forward, but as my hand came in view I saw blood staining my paled russet skin. There was a sweet taste in my mouth and I touched my lip feeling his blood drip down my chin.
"No..." I backed away. I shook my head. "No!"
Sam barked an order. The wolves all raced forward to attack me. Seth and Jacob looked away. The last thing I saw was Sam's dark eyes as he jumped and lunged at me to kill. In his eyes though, I saw my reflection. My crimson eyes revealed what I had become.
I woke with a scream. Sweat soaked my body and my heart was racing. Jacob fumbled in his room next door, and then shot into my room with concern. As he rushed in, I had already sat up and was clutching my hair as I pressed my face into my knees. The blanket originally on me had been flung to the floor. Sobs escaped me and my whole body trembled.
"Jake?! What's going on?" Dad was probably trying to scramble onto his wheelchair.
Jacob shouted, "No danger dad! I think she had another nightmare."
I shook again. My lungs were tight as I cried on. The dream had felt so real. Just like the vision I had before with the white wolf. I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want to be a vampire.
Footsteps rushed into the house. "What the hell Jacob?! I could hear that scream all the way by Newbert Creek," Leah suddenly said. "I wouldn't be surprised if the whole pack heard it."
Jacob tried to calm her down. "She had a bad dream. I've got this. Go back out and make sure the others don't freak out and come here. There's no need to bring the whole pack."
Leah nodded. "I'm going to get Seth. He'll be able to calm her." I heard her steps as she left.
Jacob sighed. "Hannah," he whispered. His warm hand pressed into my back. Tremors went through me. "What happened? Talk to me?"
I whimpered. My chest tightened. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Everything was starting to grow hot.
Why...? Why couldn't I just be happy for one week without fearing the fate that Alice had seen? Why was I destined to become something my family would despise? If I was turned into a vampire, would my family and the pack kill me? Would they banish me? Would I kill one of my loved ones and friends from thirst?
I shook my head. No... I couldn't think that way. Edward said that Alice's visions weren't set in stone. He said we could change it.
But what if we couldn't? What if Victoria succeeded and turned me? What if my human days were limited? How many more days did I have to be who I was before the foreseen future occurred? Edward had made it sound like it was close from his urgency.
"Shh... calm down..." Jacob slid on the bed beside me using my headboard to lean back on. He managed to move me from my legs enough so that he could pull me to his warm chest. My eyes were still shut tight, but my crying was starting to calm. He stroked my hair in gentle repetitive motions to calm me. Soon the sobs ceased and instead I just felt my raspy breathing.
"Jake," my dad said. "She okay?"
Opening my eyes slowly, I saw through my blurry sight my dad had turned the light on and sat in his chair at my doorway. He was in his pajama pants and an old shirt. Seeing him, an image of his dead body flashed through me again. I shut my eyes and shook my head. My stomach churned and twisted.
If Victoria truly came for me... if she bit me... would I kill my father? My sisters? Would I be so out of control that I wouldn't care who I hurt if it meant satisfying my thirst?
"Go get her some water dad... I'll stay with her. Seth's on his way."
I shook again. Jacob pressed his hand to my forehead worried I had a fever. "Talk to me... what happened?"
My lungs were still tight. My heart still pounded painfully. But I spoke out in a broken voice, "I don't want to... to be bad... I just want to be me..."
Jacob was confused. He asked again, "What did you see Hannah? You can tell me."
Footsteps arrived in the house, and a body appeared in the room. Seth looked like he had just rolled out of bed, his hair messy and only shorts on. He probably had run here as a wolf the second Leah got the message to him.
"What happened?" Seth was trying to get caught up. I shivered again as I recalled his fury in my dream. Would Seth see me as a monster if I was turned?
Jacob sighed. "I don't know. She won't say. I was hoping you'd be able to get her to talk."
Seth came up to the bed and placed his hand on my arm to reassure me he was here. "Talk to us," Seth begged now. His presence helped me find my voice.
"I... I'm sorry," I whispered. "It... it was just a bad dream..."
He urged me to explain.
I swallowed and I could tell my mouth was indeed dry. "I... I was dreaming of you all... the pack was there, and you and Jake were the only ones in your human form. We were at the treaty line... everyone looked so angry. Jake... Jake was telling a vampire to leave. I didn't know who he was talking to at first, but then I realized it was me." More tears burned in my eyes and slid down my cheeks. "I... I looked down and saw dad... he was dead... drained. His blood was on my hand. I killed him. And then the pack attacked." I shivered again.
Jacob sighed heavily. He hugged me closer, pressing his face into my hair. Seth came on the other side of my bed and I was sandwiched between them as my boyfriend grabbed my hand to try and calm me with his presence. It worked.
"It was just a dream, sis... I know you're scared of what Edward told you, but you have to trust we will take care of you. You have not once been left without one of us patrolling the area. There hasn't been a vampire on our territory since the one you saw. You are safe. Tomorrow you will be safe too. I promise."
I wanted to believe Jacob. But I didn't believe promises much anymore. Promises were empty words.
Once I was calmed down though, and was given some water by my father, I was asked if they needed to stay with me tomorrow instead of going to Forks. I shook my head.
"I'm okay now... I just think I'm still mentally a mess from the last three months... I'm sorry," I whispered.
My dad grabbed my hand to reassure me. "You have nothing to be sorry about sweetie. I wish there was something I could do to help ease your fears."
Seth decided he didn't want to leave me tonight and would stay with me tomorrow in Embry's place. He called his mom to tell her to apologize to Paul and Jared for him missing their graduation. Then he sent a text to Sam telling him he needed to stay with me. Sam was understanding, having an imprint of his own.
Jacob sighed and got off my bed after I was finally done crying. My dad had decided the guys were handling it, and he went back to bed. It was about one in the morning and Jacob told Seth he trusted him not to do anything and was going back to bed. He then told me to go wash up and try to cool down in the shower.
I did just that. Mainly because I felt gross in my sweat. Once I was showered, and I had on some fresh sleeping clothes, I climbed back into bed where Seth was still sitting. He had changed my sheet since it was soaked so I could rest again comfortably. He was holding the drawing of his wolf form as I returned.
"You were a busy artist last night," he said, trying to distract my mind.
I slid beside him and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders to pull me into his warm body. He put my sketchbook on his lap, and grabbed the blanket which was halfway on the floor and halfway on the bed. Pulling it back over me, he said softly, "Hannah... you know no matter what happens Jacob and I will love you and be there for you, right?"
I nodded slowly, shutting my eyes as I listened to his breathing.
"But nothing will happen. That redhead bitch isn't sticking her teeth anywhere in you as long as I'm by your side," he whispered.
His reassurance, and the warmth of his body, lulled me back to sleep.