(Original)
Nach Dir kommt nichts/ Unsern ersten Tag verfluch ich/ Nach Dir kommt nichts/ Alles Neue macht mich fertig/ Nach Dir kommt nichts, ich will das nicht/ Du bist und warst und wirst nie wieder alles sein/ Ich hasse dich
(English Translation)
There'll be nothing after you/ And I'm cursing our first day/ There'll be nothing after you/ And everything new is getting me down/ There'll be nothing after you/ I don't want that/You are, you were and will never be again everything/ I hate you- Tokio Hotel- Nach Dir Kommt Nicht
Ch 23
February 21, 2011
Maybe, just maybe, if someone called me. If someone tried to throw the harsh truth at me, maybe I would've turned around. But no one did. I was a void of empty emotionless space as everyone else watched me run from the problems that plagued my world.
The scenery passed in a blur. I tore down the winding roads. Forest of trees clouded my vision as I couldn't see strait. There was no point in hiding the growing pain, undeniable in presence that tensed my body. Thoughts whirled in a web of undefined memories haunting me.
Throwing the steering wheel to the right, to the left, my foot stayed hard to the pedal. My eyes stayed focused ahead. Staring.
The sign of Case Western welcomed me at the end of the back road. I glanced at the mirror plastering on a face smile, but I knew anyone could see right through me. My eyes were bright red with salty tears that had fallen. I lost color in my skin leaving a ghostly pale tone, accented further by my crazed hair framing my face. Brokenness was tangible across my facial features.
Taking a pit stop at attendance, I grabbed my new ID I was supposed to pick up at the begging if the school year, my class schedule and the room number, which was exactly the same as the year before.
Pulling into my usual dorm parking space, I braced myself. I raked my hand through my hair. And after adding a new layer of makeup, I looked semi-presentable from the reflection in the rearview mirror. With a step outside into the chilled air, a few friendly waves greeted me.
I not-so-gracefully lugged my belongings out from the trunk to drag it inside the building standing to far away for my liking at the moment. The luggage landed on the ground with a thud in the elevator as I swiped my ID to enter floor four.
Four-hundred eighty-three was to my right, my room, and four-hundred eighty-four to my left, Adileigh's room. I knocked. Sounds weird, knocking on your own door, but I'd rather not walk into another mess I could avoid. With no answer from the other side, I turned the key.
The two beds remained the same from the last time I lived here. Mine was perfectly made, while the other, well let’s just say, it looked like a rat's nest. Posters hung on the small wall space on the other side of the room. But my side was barren, just like home, just how I left it only the summer before.
A girl sat at the desk between the beds with a coffee in front of her and a magazine in her hands. She dressed in sweat pants and the usual black jacket that was obviously three sizes to big as it dripped off her twig skinny arms. Her short styled hair framed her face with a curtain. Yet the rectangular framed glasses she wore still poked between the silk she hid behind. "Hey Elle," I approached as not to take her of guard.
"Well, you’re here earlier than I expected." She didn't break her gaze from the tabloid she intently read.
"I'm sorry. Were you expecting someone else?"
"No. No, not at all." I shot her a quizzical look, which she didn't catch as she still hadn't moved her eye from the article that grabbed her attention before I interrupted. "I just didn't expect you to come back to college until next year. You know, after all four quarters were over."
"Actually plans have changed. So I decided to use my time wisely and at least finish one quarter this year."
"So you decided to ditch your famous half-brothers for college?"
"Have you seriously been reading those articles?" I asked incredulously. My fingers subconsciously ran through my hair. I yanked at a knot before pulling them out.
"You did ditch me. What's not to expect? Me reading the newest Tokio Hotel gossip isn't unusual." She peeked from her magazine to take a glance at me. The gasp was audible. "What happened?"
"Nothing." I rubbed my hands along my eyelids to wipe away the tears that began to form. "I've never been this weak. I shouldn't be crying."
"Just tell me what happened. And I'll go kick their asses for you."
"Ya, before or after you have sex with Tom?" I slight laugh escaped my lips. We both knew the fantasy she always had. It wasn't too difficult to figure out.
"I'd kick their asses without a second thought, girl, if they hurt you. There'd be no sex at all."
"Good because Adileigh is still dating Tom."
"What the f-"
My phone began with a ring, saving me from the recounting of the story. "Hey, sorry for not-"
"He broke it off Sephora." A sob echoed through the phone. "He was so blunt about it. It's like he already had his mind made up. There was nothing I could say. And then... and then, he just hung up. I tried to call back, but he never answered."
I sat, shocked into silence.
"Sephora? Please tell me your still there."
"I'm still here. Where are you?"
"I just left. I should be on campus in a hour," she replied as a hiccup bounced across the line. A beep signaled the ended call.
Elle studied me for a moment, watching my eyes for any clue as how to respond. "I'm definitely kicking their asses."
"Good luck with that."
♫♫♫♫♫
A knock was absorbed against the dense wooden door. "Come in," we yelled simultaneously.
"Natalie wasn't in our room," Adileigh announced. "She still live in four eighty-four, right?"
"Yup. And I'll explain where she is, after both of you," a stern look was thrown at me from Elle, "fill me in. Because little Ms. Famous wouldn't tell me anything until you arrived."
Elle sat with her back against the wall, taking interest in the replaying on the summer. A few gasps of surprises fell from her lips as I told the story. And I found myself smiling and laughing with every reencounter of the memories. Adileigh, too, enjoyed the retelling of the tour, adding her own comments every now and then.
"And you know how in times of trouble family is supposed to grow closer?" I paused for the first time in a while. Elle nodded with confusion perceptible within her composure as she leaned forward with the dimming of my voice. "I think we fell apart because mum died. I think it was my fault."
Her eyes just bored into mine, not believing my last phrase. I turned. My eyes decided to burn as the tears threatened to reveal themselves, yet again today.
A patch of dryness held my throat as I tried to continue, but I couldn't find the words. But the reality of the words echoed in my head. 'It was my fault. It was my fault.'
Heavy and long, someone let out a breath. "That's not what I was expecting." She touched my shoulder lightly in a comforting manner. "But I know exactly what you need tonight. We are going to party and forget about everything."
There was no choice in the matter. And letting go was exactly what I needed.
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
I know. Another short chapter. It was sort of a filler. But you needed to meet the roommates of Sephora and Adileigh. Well, actually you didn't meet Natalie, but she will be in the next chapter.
Well as the book comes closer to the end, I'd love some feed back on what could be changed or edited. Cause after I'm finished with writing I'm gonna go edit this piece. It probably won't be uploaded, but who knows.
I'm really excited to actually be finish a piece of work as I've never after actually finished writing a book. Also don't forget to vote cause that helps me in the competition that I've been nominated for by my awesome friends and fans. If you haven't nominated me, or anyone else for that matter, send an email to comeptitions@kiagurriques.com with a short note and the link to the first chapter of Reconnected.
Thanks again for all your support.
Until next time
-Midnightriter