THIRTY EIGHT
"GET UP." ASHER SAID STERNLY, as James looked up at him in confusion. "You've been lying in bed all day, you were quiet all of breakfast, and honestly, you just seem depressed mate." Asher stated, his arms folding over his chest.
James sighed. He really didn't want to talk about this now. He hadn't been himself all day, still in dismay over the revelation he had come to last night. "Get up." Asher said again, his tone serious. "We are going to sit on Alex's bed and talk about what's messing you up so bad."
"This really isn't necessary." James grumbled, slowly throwing the covers off himself and getting off his bed.
"It is." Asher glared at him. "Let me go find Alex."
James sighed. When Asher wanted something, Asher got it. He was persistant that way, just like his sister. He winced, thoughts of Annalise plaguing his mind again. He couldn't stop thinking about her. Her and that goddamn smile. He got up and sat down on Alex's bed leaning on the headboard. Asher walked back in a minute later, Alex behind him.
"Asher said you needed therapy." Alex said, sitting down next to him on the bed. "Whatever this is, it better be important because I was doing something important."
"Messing with first years isn't important Alex." Asher rolled his eyes, joining the two of them. He directed his attention back to James. "Now hurry up and tell us what on earth is going on with you."
"I'm in love with your sister." James sighed in defeat. He looked up at his friends. Alex's face had frozen in shock, while Asher was just smiling. He winced, realizing he probably should have eased into it instead of blurting it out.
"Merlin's beard." Alex finally said, his jaw still hanging open. Asher was still grinning. Alex turned to Asher, confused at his expression. "Why the bloody hell are you not surprised?" He gaped at him.
Asher shrugged. "Have you seen the two of them? It's the most obvious thing."
"It wasn't obvious to me!" Alex exclaimed. "I thought they were pretending!"
Asher snorted. "Have you met James? He's not that good of an actor."
"Hey!" James whined. His friends stared at him as if waiting for him to explain more. "I've liked her since November." He admitted.
"That long?" Alex gaped.
"I didn't expect it at all. Like I told you guys, I was just doing her a favor, trying to do a nice thing. But the more time I spent with her, the more I liked spending time with her."
"So then why are you depressed?" Asher asked in confusion. "You love my sister. So go tell her."
"I can't." He said dismally.
"Why the fuck not?" Alex shoved him lightly.
"I heard your conversation in the train." James admitted. Asher winced. "She clearly said to you that she sees me as nothing more than a friend. Why the hell would I tell her?"
"I have a hard time reading my sister's emotions." Asher said. "But, the way you look at her? She looks at you the same way."
James shook his head. "I can't tell her Ash. I know she doesn't feel the same way. There's no way she would. I'd rather not ruin our friendship by telling her if her friendship is the most I can have."
Asher didn't say anything, and Alex scrunched his face in thought. "I understand." Asher sighed in defeat.
"What?" Alex looked at Asher in shock. "You're giving up? It's our job to convince him to grow some balls and make a move!"
"Alex, it'll do no good. Being dnied by her is a pain I'm not willing to ever go through." James said in exasperation.
Asher sighed. "We won't pressure you to do anything." Asher held up a hand, silencing Alex's protests. "Alex, he clearly doesn't want to."
"He's being stupid." Alex grumbled.
"He's hurting." Asher replied. "I still think you should take the chance and tell her, although I get why you won't. But I took a chance on Roxy and look how that worked out."
James shook his head again. "You know it's not the same Ash. Me and Annalise have hated eachother for years. I know Annalise's feelings wouldn't change that fast, if at all." He sighed, running his fingers through his hair.
"If you're sure, then you need to break it off and move on." Alex said finally.
"I plan to as soon as I can, and it already hurts like a bitch." James said gloomily. "I don't know why I stretched it out this long. I should have just ended it before the winter ball like we were supposed too." He groaned in frustration.
"It's going to hurt even worse when you do it." Asher said sympathetically, placing his hand on his shoulder. "But like Alex said, if you're sure, do it now before either one of you gets hurt even more."
Annalise looked up from her book, her head shifting to the knock on her door. James stood in the doorway. "Can we talk?" He asked hesitantly. She nodded her head, gesturing him to come in. She stopped questioning a long time ago how James managed to get into the girl's dormitories time after time.
She sat up on her bed, folding the corner of her page down and closing her book. She patted the bed, asking him to come sit down next to her. He did, folding his legs onto the bed. She could see the dark circles under his eyes, telling her he didn't sleep well after they returned from the kitchens last night. James looked more tired than usual, and she could tell something was bothering him.
"What's up." She asked. James looked uneasy, as he bit his lip nervously.
"So." He started, pausing for a few seconds before he said anymore. "I know we started this whole arrangement with the intention of ending our relationship before the winter ball." Annalise nodded, her heart sinking. She already knew where this conversation was heading. The conversion she had been dreading for a while.
"And clearly it's mid January and way past the winter ball." He chuckled lightly. Annalise offered a weak smile in return. "So if you're ok with it, I'd like to- how do I say this - fake break up?" He said hesitantly.
Annalise froze for a second, staring at James. She snapped back into reality a moment later and nodded her head. "Of course!" She plastered a fake smile onto her face. "We've done this way longer than necessary. It makes sense that you'd finally want to get back into seeing other people." James opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again.
"I just wanted to thank you again so much for helping me out with this." She said sincerely. "It definitely did make William jealous and I'm glad we ended up friends at the end." She smiled again.
James nodded, a small smile on his face too. "Of course. I'm really glad everything worked out."
"So, see you later?" She said. She needed him out of this room right now.
"Yep." James said, before hopping off her bed and walking to the doorway. He waved goodbye before disappearing down the hallway, and Annalise didn't have the heart to return his wave.
She broke down, tears streaming down her face. It was a miracle that she had held it in so long. She choked down sobs, as she curled into a ball onto her bed, crying into her pillow. Why did it hurt this bad? She had felt her heart break the moment James had asked her to end things. It felt worse than when William had cheated on her, and she finally understood why.
Annalise should have expected this. But she had been dreading this conversation since they had gotten back from break. It was bound to happen. It had been looming over her like a cloud ready to rain. She knew that, but she was still broken inside.
"Annalise?" She heard Talia's voice enter the room, but didn't have the heart to even look at her friend. "Oh, Annalise." Talia said softly, sitting down next to her on the bed, and wrapping her arms around her.
"I like him Talia." Annalise cried into her friends arms. "I like him a lot." She knew Talia knew who she was talking about. "And he doesn't like me. Because if he did, he wouldn't have ended it right now."
"I'm so sorry Anna." Talia stroked her hair lightly, holding her.
"It hurts." She cried, the tears never stopping.
"I know," Talia whispered. "I know."
By Monday, word had spread around Hogwarts that James Sirius Potter and Annalise Wood had called it quits. James and Annalise still continued their friendship as usual, leading everyone to believe it had been a mutual and amicable split. If only they knew what really happened, and how hard she was trying to pretend everything was normal when everytime she saw him, a piece of her heart chipped away.
Talia had filled Roxy in on Annalise's breakdown. She was thankful she didn't have to talk about it anymore.
Quidditch practice had started off incredibly awkward, everyone hesitant to speak. But, James cracked a joke to her, and she burst out laughing, playfully shoving him, and the team realized their two captains would not return to their enemy state from the beginning of the year.
They stiil continued to be partners in every class, getting odd stares from their classmates all day. She couldn't blame them. It was peculiar for a couple to break up and then return to being close friends right away. Annalise worried it would be too obvious and James convinced her that it was the best way to show everyone that they had ended things well.
Annalise sauntered down the hallway to dinner, late because she decided to take a much longer shower after such a tiring practice. She didn't realize whose footsteps followed her until William had appeared next to her. She fought back a remark, and ignored him, walking faster. He follower her.
"Annalise." He called, speeding up to walk next to her. She stopped.
"What?" She snapped, hoping her glare was as icy as she intended it to be. William looked slightly taken aback at her anger, as if he had forgotten that he cheated on her.
"I heard you and Potter broke up?" He said, his voice teeming with satisfaction and triumph. She wanted to slap the smug expression off his face.
Anger surged through her. The cheating git didn't deserve to feel triumph at her failed 'relationship.'
"Yes, we did." She answered calmly. "I don't see how that's any of your concern." She snapped her head away from him and starting walking down the corridor again.
"Looks like I was right and you realized once again that James Potter is an arse." William called from behind her.
She couldn't bite her tongue anymore, as she snapped her head back around. She kept her voice steady. "James Potter is not an arse. In fact, he's twice, no 100 times the man that you'll ever be." She seethed with rage. "I still love him, and we are still the best of friends who decided together that now was not the right time for a relationship. That's it." She stormed away before William could reply, irritated that he had the audacity to talk to her about her relationship. Or fake relationship, but he didn't know that.
I still love him. Her words echoed through her mind, the force of them not hitting her through all the anger. She tried to erase the words from her mind. It didn't matter if she loved him. It was time to let go.