CHAPTER 24
ARES HIDALGO
The first thing I feel when I wake up is something warm next to me, the contact of skin against my arm takes me by surprise, so I turn around and I see her.
Her eyes closed, her long lashes resting on her cheekbones, her mouth closed as she breaths slowly. She looks so delicate and fragile. My chest tightens. I jump off the bed, stepping away from her.
I need to get out of here.
I need to get away from her.
What the hell was I thinking?
Picking up my clothes off the floor, I quickly put on my boxers and shorts. I leave my room careful not to wake her up, I don't want to face her, I can't face her expectations and break her heart again. I can't make her cry and watch her run from me, not again.
Then go back in there.
The voice of my conscience reproaches me, but I can't do that either. I am not what she expects, or what she needs. I can't play relationship with someone when I don't believe in that shit because sooner or later I'll end up hurting her and ruining a good girl who doesn't deserve it.
If I know I can't give her what she wants, why do I keep attracting her to me? Why can't I let her go? Because I'm a damn selfish bastard, that's why, because just imagining her with someone else makes my blood boil. I can't be with her, but I don't want her with anyone else either. I run downstairs and grab my truck's keys from the table.
Run, like the selfish coward that you are.
I'm about to grab the doorknob when I hear someone clear their throat. I turn to see Artemis sitting on the sofa, wearing sports clothes, he must come from his morning exercise routine, "Where are you going looking like that?"
And that's when I realize I'm only wearing shorts, I don't even have shoes on, "Nowhere," I say quickly, returning the keys to their place, I don't want to sound like an idiot.
"Running away?"
"No, I'm just, you know, still sleepy."
Artemis gives me an incredulous look, "You don't have to lie, you're running from the girl who sleeps in your bed this morning, right?"
I don't even bother to deny it. Artemis knows absolutely everything that goes on in this house unlike my absent parents. I don't say anything, he just smiles and calls Claudia.
"Bring him a shirt and some shoes," he orders and Claudia disappears up the stairs.
"What are you doing?"
Artemis just shrugs, "Helping you out."
"Why would you do that?"
Artemis leans back, spreading his arms on the couch, "I'm your older brother, I'm supposed to help you through difficult times."
"You never help anyone without receiving anything in return."
He smiles, "Can't I help my brother for no ulterior motive?"
Claudia hands me the shirt and I put it on along with my shoes.
I narrow my eyes, watching him, I open my mouth to speak when Claudia is ahead of me, "Ares," she looks at me, "Rachel already woke up and asked me about you, I didn't know what to say to her."
Ah shit!
"Tell her I had to leave and I'm not coming back until later" I squeeze the keys in my hand, "Tell her to go home."
I turn my back on them and leave the house, I get into my truck but I don't start it, I just rest my forehead on the steering wheel. I don't know how much time passes but when I look up, I see her
Rachel...
Leaving the house, her dress wrinkled and still a little wet from the night before, her hair in a messy bun. My heart falls to the ground. She shudders, wiping her tear-stained cheeks.
She's crying.
Ah, God, what are you doing, Ares?
My eyes go down to her feet and I notice that she is barefoot, she probably did not find her sandals and did not want to stay to look for them. I can't stop staring at her as she slowly walks away from the house, the pavement is hot from the bright morning sun, I notice her wince as she walks. I squeeze my hands at my sides.
Unable to help myself, I get out of the truck, closing the door behind me and run towards her.
"Rachel!"
She tenses, but she doesn't turn around. She just keeps walking.
I reach for her and grab her shoulder, but she slaps my hand away, "Don't touch me!"
Her face contorts in pain and her tear-filled red eyes take my breath away and something inside me hurts, burns, as if her pain were mine.
"Just let me get your shoes or let me take you—" the sound of the slap echoes all over the place, my cheek burns so I put my hand on it. Rachel looks at me with such anger that I feel like the worst scum of the planet. And I probably am.
"Stay away from me! Forever! Do not talk to me! Do not look at me!" Her voice cracks a little, "Just... leave me alone."
The determination in her eyes scares me, she means it, I know she really means it this time and I don't know what to say.
"I... Rachel... I..."
"Fuck you!"
He turns her back on me and walks away.
Let her go, Ares, let her live her life and be happy with someone who gives her what she wants.
I can't.
Clenching my jaw, I run to appear in front of her, blocking her path, "Wait... just... wait."
She lets out a sarcastic laugh, "What do you want? I've already waited too long, expected so much from you and I've received nothing, only pain. So at least have the decency to leave me alone."
"I can't."
"Sure, you can't get rid of your current toy, it's understandable."
"Don't say that, that's not what—"
She raised her hand, "Just leave me alone."
She passes me and continues on her way. I just stand there, not moving, not saying anything. Why can't I tell her anything? Why can't I talk about the way she makes me feel? Why do all the words get stuck in my throat? Why am I so screwed up?
As if life wants to answer part of my questions, a black SUV appears next to me, the smell of expensive perfume hits my nose, "What are you doing out here, darling?" My mother asks, and a fake smile forms on my lips.
"I just went jogging."
"As athletic as ever, come over to the house, I missed you."
"Of course, you missed us," she decides to ignore my sarcasm.
"Let's go."
She rolls the window and the truck continues into the parking lot. With a heavy heart, I take one last look at the street where Raquel went.
It's for the best, I repeat myself over and over again inside my head.
"Ah! Fuck!" I threw a blow into the air in frustration, and walk back into the house.
RACHEL
It hurts...
I wince, feeling the burning pavement on my bare feet, but that little pain has no comparison with what I feel inside me.
I was such an idiot.
I can't stop crying, I can't stop the tears and that only makes me feel even more pathetic. I thought this time would be different, I really believed him. How could I be so stupid? He would say anything to get into my pants, that was all he wanted, to use me and kick me out he next day, how did I let him do this to me again?
His genuine smile fills my mind, as we chatted and laughed yesterday in his bed playing that stupid game and then what we did later. I trusted him and he took that trust and shattered it in front of my eyes, along with my heart. He really is good at hurting me.
It pains to remember that when I woke up and looked for him, thinking that he had gone for breakfast and I was about to go downstairs, and I heard him talking to Claudia:
"Tell her I had to leave and I'm not coming back until later," he said with a grimace of annoyance, "Tell her to go home."
He didn't even have the decency to face me and say it to my face. I wasn't that important. He ordered someone else to get rid of the girl he used the night before.
Ares has the ability to make me feel special and like the luckiest girl in the world, but he can also lower my self-esteem and trample over my dignity so easily.
He can hurt me like no one else, however, it's my fault for giving him that power over me. He knows I'm crazy about him and he uses it to take advantage like the idiot that he is. But not anymore, all this time I haven't wanted him out of my life seriously. I've given him opportunities by believing in his eyes and hoping that there is something good behind his facade.
No more.
Arriving at the door of my house, I am surprised to see Dani in the front door ringing the bell. She's wearing a loose summer dress, with her long black hair in a ponytail and sunglasses, she looks impatient, I know she hates the heat. I try to speak and call her but I can't, I feel a lump in my throat and feel like crying even more. My lips tremble when she turns and sees me.
She removes her glasses and her face tightens in concern. She rushes to get to me and takes me by the shoulders, "What happened? Are you okay?"
I only manage to nod.
"Are you hurt anywhere?" I shake my head, "God, let's go inside."
In my room, I don't bother to hold back my tears, not anymore. I roll until I'm sitting on the floor against the wall, and I cry. Dani sits next to me, saying nothing, she just sits there and that's all I need. I don't need words of encouragement, I just need her to be there, by my side.
I need to let it all come out, I need to rip this pain out of my chest and I feel that by crying I can externalize it, I can get it out so that it will never hurt like this again.
There is something therapeutic in crying so much, there is a certain peace that invades the body after it.
Dani puts her arm behind me and pulls me to rest my head on her shoulder, "Let it out, I'm here."
I cry until peace comes, until I have no more tears and my nose is so stuffy that it is difficult for me to breathe. Dani kisses my head, "Do you want to talk about it?"
I detach myself from her, straightening up, pressing my back against the wall. I wipe the tears away, and blow my nose. With my voice coming out weak, I tell her everything.
Dani's face turns red with rage, "That f/cking son of a b*tch!"
I stay quiet.
She growls, blowing one strand of unruly hair out of her face, "I want to kick his ass so bad, can I? Just one hit and I'll run, he won't even notice."
"Dani..."
"I learned a super kick in my self-defense class, I know it will hurt and if not, there is always the typical kick to the balls. Oh yeah, I think I prefer that one."
Her madness steals a sad smile from me, "I appreciate the effort but-"
"Or I can tell Daniel, they are together on the soccer team. I'll tell him to give him a quick kick that seems accidental."
I sigh, "Dani, you can't send your brother to hit him, Daniel is very peaceful."
"But also overly overprotective, I just have to tell him Ares did something to you and Bam! Ares getting what he deserves."
Daniel is Dani's older brother, he attends the same private school as Ares, just to be on the soccer team, "I don't like violence and you know it."
"Alright!" She huffs, getting up, "I'll go get ice cream, you look for the most romantic movie you can find online."
I look at her strangely, "I don't think-"
"Silence! We are going to deal with this as it should be, today you will cry and shout profanities at the movie and whine about how unfair life is because those things don't happen to us." She puts her hands on her hips, "Then we will sleep together... and tomorrow you'll wake up a new person, leaving everything behind."
I try to smile, "I don't think I can do that overnight."
"At least give it a try and then we'll party. You will be distracted, and you will realize that that idiot is not the only boy on this planet, are we clear?"
"Yes ma'am."
"I did not hear you."
"Yes ma'am!"
"Well, now find that movie, I'll be right back."
I watch her leave and smile like a fool, grateful to have her by my side if I wasn't breaking down. I think what hurts me the most is that even knowing what my mother had to go through with my father, I still fell into the nets of that idiot, like one more girl, one more mindless of the bunch, blind with love. I am disappointed in myself, that is what hurts the most.
I turn on my computer and open the browser to find a movie. My Facebook opens automatically while I search on Google. I hear the ringing of a new message and my heart crumples in my chest when I see his name and his message:
Ares Hidalgo.
I'm sorry.
A sad smile invades my lips, I leave it in read and I simply continue my search. It rings again and I open his message:
I'm truly sorry.
I move the mouse to the options bar and block him so that he can't message me anymore.
Goodbye, Greek God.