Ron had seemed embarrassed and hesitant to explain anything further to me when I explained that no, I had not known. The rest of detention went on in awkward silence, with Harry occasionally trying to start conversation with me, which I haughtily denied him, being angry with the two for not telling me anything. Goddamnit, nobody was telling me anything.
McGonagall had merely sighed when she saw that Fred was no longer there, and handed us our phones back, giving Fred's to Ron and asking him if he could kindly let his brother know that she'd be expecting him back here tomorrow at lunch time. In the common room, Peaches tried to give me the notes for tomorrow's class, but my head was too heavy to think about anything academic at the moment. I slept poorly, tossing and turning, feeling stupid and childish for letting some dumb boy get to me this deeply. I kept replaying Fred's angry glare, his cold tone, his defiant exit, and the images gnawed at my stomach. Everyone knew that he had a crush on me? What did that even mean?
The questions tumbled around in my head the whole next day, and by the time I was in Peaches's dorm room, getting ready for the party, I couldn't keep it inside any longer without going insane.
"Ron told me Fred has a crush on me." I said suddenly, without thinking, causing my three friends to look at me in surprise.
"He did what!" Peaches exclaimed, bouncing to sit on the bed next to me. She was wearing form-fitting brown wool pants and a tight turtleneck that accentuated her natural waist. Her hair was swept into a top knot, with a few tasteful curls framing her face.
"That Fred has a crush on me, and everyone knows." I accentuated 'everyone', looking between the three of them. Peaches was merely blinking at me innocently, but Wilda was avoiding my gaze and Juliet looked painfully guilty.
"Ok, fine, it was Peaches's idea." Juliet finally cried after an awkward moment of silence. She was wearing a small knit sweater and high waisted jeans. The pale beige sweater brought out the pink nervous blush that was blooming on her face.
"So you guys did know." I exclaimed, pointing at the three of them accusingly. Peaches moved to pull me into a desperate hug, and yelled apologies as I tried to wiggle out of her grasp.
"Technically it was Fred's idea! We were trying to set you two up!" She was saying.
"Which we're miserable at, apparently." Wilda said defeatedly, folding her arms against her oversized black hoodie.
"I thought it would be fun, but you're so daft sometimes Diana, honestly." Juliet was sighing, moving to hug me from my other side so I was unable to escape either. I huffed and hawed until they finally let me go, standing and turning to look between the three, crossing my arms angrily.
"You should have just told me."
"We know." Peaches's voice was soft, and my demeanor softened a little.
"I mean, it doesn't matter now. I made him really mad yesterday."
"Wait, you what." Wilda deadpanned, moving to sit next to Peaches, so now the three looked up at me like an audience. I felt my face fill with blood, and I shoved my hands into my pockets, leaning back on my heels a little, looking off to the side nervously.
"Diana," Juliet said in a calm and stern way, "What did you do?"
"It's not that bad." I murmured, and Peaches let out a little cry.
"We've been working so hard Diana!" She exclaimed.
"Obviously not that hard! I had no idea what was going on!" I yelled back. Wilda suddenly burst out into laughter, stunning the rest of us. She gasped and giggled, throwing her head back and shaking her short dark hair.
"We were really so bad at it. I don't know why Fred thought we'd be able to help at all."
Peaches started to giggle as well, and then Juliet, and then we were all laughing, and it was a heavy, gasping, clapping type of laughter. The tension that had started to form was quickly gone from the room, and I collapsed onto the floor.
"You guys are so stupid holy fuck." I told the ceiling as we finally were able to compose ourselves.
"Diana, what did you do to anger Fred?" Peaches prodded, nudging me with a foot. I let out a heavy sigh, keeping my gaze upwards.
"I told him I was going to the thing tonight with Cedric."
Juliet let out a low groan.
"That must be why he told us he wouldn't be going."
"George said he was acting odd today." Wilda added.
"I didn't mean to upset him! He was just being so weird and I was getting so fed up. Like," I pushed myself up onto my elbows, looking at the three of them, "-he was making it sound like I was hanging out with Cedric a bunch on purpose, like as though I liked him or something, and then he started like- ignoring me? Kind of. Maybe I was overreacting a little. But then Harry asked me if I was going to the thing tonight with anyone and I just- I don't know, mentioned Cedric. And then!" I sat up dramatically. Wilda had gone back to the mirror to finish her makeup, and Juliet had started glancing at her phone. But Peaches was sitting on the edge of the bed, eyes lit with excitement at the gossip, "-Then Fred fucking left detention! Like he literally got up in this dramatic display and left! And then Ron said that he liked me and I was like what? Huh? Since fucking when?"
My voice got a little high and desperate at the end, and there was a beat of silence.
"So do you like Cedric?" Peaches asked. I chewed on my cheek, contemplating the question.
"I mean, I like hanging out with him." I said defeatedly, and Juliet huffed slightly, having finally checked her phone. We glanced at her, but she remained silent, thumbs tapping her screen rapidly.
"Well, do you like Fred?" Wilda suggested when Juliet didn't say anything.
"I barely know Fred!" I cried, covering my face with my hands.
"He's a really sweet guy, when you get to know him." Peaches said shyly. Wilda hummed in agreement.
My phone buzzed then, and I glanced at the screen. Cedric was asking if we wanted to pregame. I relayed the information to the girls, and they expressed excitement at the idea.
We pregamed by the lake. Cedric had brought two of his teammates from the Quidditch team, and Peaches seemed elated. She had placed herself in the middle of them, asking all sorts of mundane questions about the sport, feeding their egos. Juliet had absently hugged one of the water bottles of vodka we brought to her chest, still typing on her phone frantically. She'd barely put the thing down since we left the dorms.
"Who do you suppose she's texting?" Wilda muttered as she sidled up next to me, crossing her arms against the cold. She'd demanded one of the boys lend her a beanie, and she'd pulled it down to her eyebrows, making her face seem rounder and her eyes darker.
"I have no idea." I said honestly, flexing my hands in my jacket pockets, feeling the warmth of the vodka starting to spread through my body, "But she said it was embarrassing, remember?"
"Do you think it's the same guy?"
I shrugged, and Wilda let out a little snort, shaking her head as we watched our friend let out a little puff of air, brows furrowing as she began to type even faster.
"I feel bad for whoever is receiving those paragraphs." Cedric said quietly as he approached the two of us. Wilda nodded sullenly, and then gestured for Cedric to pass her his own bottle of vodka.
"Juliet is always texting paragraphs to someone, though." She said swiftly before taking a large swig, only wincing slightly as she swallowed. She passed it to me, and I did the same, relishing in the warmth the alcohol brought me. Cedric stomped his feet a little and blew into his hands.
"Cold out tonight, huh." He said offhandedly. I hummed in agreement, passing the bottle back to him. He took it and shoved it into the pocket of his coat. The three of us stood awkwardly watching Juliet.
"I hate the cold." I groaned to break the silence, shoving my face into the scarf wrapped around my neck. Cedric let out an amused huff as Wilda shook her head.
"I'm sure it'll be warm at the spot. I heard some Gryffindors talking about a bonfire."
"That sounds like a fire hazard." Cedric said bluntly.
"It's always a fire hazard when Gryffindors are involved." Wilda said in the same tone, and Cedric chuckled.
"Good point. It's always just a hazard in general when Gryffindors are involved."
I shook my head.
"Makes for a fun party, though." I mumbled into my scarf, and my friends agreed besides me.
"Should we maybe start heading out?" One of Cedric's friends suggested, a tall fifth year named Irving who had floppy blonde hair that wouldn't stay out of his eyes. He shoved the hair as he spoke, and I watched with amusement as Peaches gazed at the movement longingly.
"Yeah, Otis just texted asking where we were." Said the other one, who was slightly shorter and stouter. He'd told us his name, but everyone said to call him Bull, in relation to his stature and strength. As bad as the Hufflepuff Quidditch team was, they'd be much worse, Cedric had whispered to me earlier, if it weren't for Bull.
Juliet voiced her agreement with the boys, and Peaches took Irving's arm playfully as we all began to walk towards the woods.
The path to the party was signalled by tiny lit orbs spaced far enough apart that, to the uninformed eye, they'd simply look like moonlight peeking through the trees. But Irving, who was a year older, and had been going to these things since third year, walked the path with ease. We followed behind him, falling into somewhat of a line, with Irving and Peaches leading, Bull trailing behind them, Wilda and Juliet walking side by side in silence, and Cedric and I ending up in the back, walking a little slower than the rest.
"You doing okay?" Cedric's voice was soft, and it surprised me how close he had leaned in to whisper.
"Yeah," I shot him a small smile, "I'm all good. Just fuckin' cold." I hugged myself for emphasis, and he laughed, reaching around so he could rub my arm, effectively tucking me into his side. I felt stiff at the movement, but the alcohol in my system made any awkwardness I felt brief and forgotten as I relaxed into the warmth of Cedric's body. We walked quietly like that for a while, and somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered once again if maybe I could just end up with Cedric. Maybe there was a chance at something between us, something that could be healthy and steady and honest. And then I thought about Fred's glances, and my stomach churned angrily. Why hadn't he just fucking said something?
Before thinking too hard about it, I slid the vodka bottle from Cedric's pocket, uncapping it miserably. He looked down in surprise but didn't say anything, just motioning for me to hand it over after I took a large swig. The amount of alcohol burning it's way to my stomach made me wince slightly, and Cedric chuckled softly at the face I pulled.
"You sure you're okay?" He murmured before taking a small sip for himself.
"Why do you keep asking?" I asked roughly as I took the bottle from him, shaking the contents and taking another, albeit smaller, shot before capping it and sliding it back into his pocket. I felt Cedric's shrug more than saw it, and dimly realized he smelled really nice. Like a sort of pine scent, something woodsy and clean. There was mint under the smell of vodka on his breath, and beneath that something sweet that I couldn't quite place. The smell washed over me as he leaned down to speak, pulling me in tighter to his side.
"You just seem a bit out of sorts, is all." He whispered, and I felt a small flutter in the pit of my stomach.
"I'm just distracted, I guess. Excited for the holidays."
He glanced down at me, and I was surprised at the unchecked genuity his face held.
"With the Weasleys, right? I'm sure it'll be a great time. I'll even admit I might be a bit envious. I've always wished I could spend a long time at the Weasley's house, ever since I was a kid."
I cautiously wrapped an arm around his torso, hugging Cedric close to me and resting my chin on his chest so I was looking up at him instead of the ground as we walked. He smiled down at me brightly, and I knew what I was doing. I would have felt bad, if it weren't for the vodka. Guilty, even. I probably wouldn't even be there, so willingly held, if it weren't for the vodka.
But the little sips and gulps of the harsh liquid were finally catching up to me, and I felt warm and giddy and happy just to be against another body- a nice smelling, steady, honest body. Cedric's hand felt big and strong as it slipped to curl around my waist, pulling me even closer and keeping me steady on my feet. His touch was so gentle, so reassuring, that the drunk part of my brain almost wanted to cry. It'd been such a long time since I'd had a genuine hug, since I'd been able to feel comfortable being comforted, that I could have ended the night right there, walking through the forest with Cedric.