Somehow, Luz found it weird that the Bonesborough Library was already open again this soon after Valeween.
Keeping it open until the last minute before Valeween Night - That she could understand. There would be no shortage of people who were curious about the Cherubim, what to expect on the night itself, and knowing everything that there was to know about the invaders would be beneficial, both for veterans of the event, and those who were about to experience their first. Understanding the history of the event, how previous efforts had succeeded and failed, and learning new methods and tricks of how to handle the invasion would be vital too. The defences were only as strong as their defenders, after all. Indeed, the building had seen a surge of activity in the days leading up the Valeween Night, as people looked for any advantage the records might be able to give them. There was always the possibility of learning something new.
It being open so soon after the event had passed though, for some reason, that just seemed odd to Luz. With so much reconstruction, renovation, and labour work to be done to get Bonesborough back to the way it was before the invasion... She just sort of assumed that a place of leisure or academia like a library would be closed for longer, as people would be prioritising getting the city back in proper working order first. That was how things would usually work back on Earth.
But not only was she wrong in that assumption, it seemed like the exact opposite had happened - It looked more busy than ever before.
Fond as she was of books, Luz had spent a fair bit of time in the library since arriving on the Isles, reading up on the history, seeing if she could learn anything about Glyphs, or just seeing what the literature was like here. She was here often enough that she could recognize the groups of people that were there regularly, buried in books the same way that she often was. And many of them were there today too, but there were lots of people who she had never seen there before as well. Groups of people who never professed an interest in books, and even some people she recognised from Hexside, who outright despised them, were all here. Some were reading, as was intended in a library, and some were using it more as a general hang out area, taking up the Crystal Balls section, or just wandering around in small groups, with no real destination in mind.
Louder too - Normally the librarians were a bit more active when it came to making sure that people followed the rule of being quiet, but they were being a lot more permissive of sound today. They only really seemed to be getting involved whenever someone broke a major rule, like climbing on the tables like some of the younger visitors were doing, being too rowdy, or getting to uncontrollable levels of noise, but they were being far more forgiving and lenient than they normally were.
Really though, as Luz made her way through the building, past the bookshelves, and up the stairs to her destination, it didn't take all that long to figure out why the building was so packed, and why the librarians were being so much more lenient with the rules today.
A variety of people were there today - Workers, who needed a break. Students, who needed to feel like students again. People who had been victimised by the Cherubim, and needed to be around other people who understood. Kids, who needed to be looked after while their parents helped with the reconstruction efforts. And even just people who wanted to be somewhere that felt... At least slightly normal. While the city outside was still returning to normalcy, the library served an important function - It kept people grounded in a feeling of regularity. Of normal life.
Something that people evidentially needed.
The degree to which Valeween affected people's lives was... Incalculable. It affected people in so many different ways. So many different relationships were fundamentally changed, and it was impossible to put a number on just how many ways those changed relationships could affect a person. Some people would have had an even worse series of events happen to them than Luz had had. And that was a scary thought.
They just needed something to feel... Normal again. So for now, things were structured like this. And they would remain this way for a short while, until Bonesborough was back up and running the way that it normally was.
Honestly, she was just thankful that Valeween was an irregular event. She couldn't imagine going through this every single year.
That people were still working together to help everyone get through this mess, and that they were still bending rules after Valeween, and embracing that sense of community - Luz couldn't help but smile at that.
If she ever did go back to Earth, that was something she wanted to take with her. Earth could learn a lot from the Isles.
Arriving at her destination, and after making sure that no one else was around to see her, or was in any of the neighbouring sections that they might hear the mechanisms at work, Luz walked down the aisle and stood in front of the bookcase that led to her friend's secret room. She couldn't help but notice the titles of the various books, and looked up at the section banner above the bookcase, though she already knew what it said.
Romance.
Luz couldn't help but feel her cheeks redden. Fate had a sense of irony, if nothing else.
She reached for the book that acted as a secret lever, and took a step back as the wall opened up, and granted her access. Quickly, she entered, and closed the entrance behind her, so no one would know the room was there - This room was still private to Amity, and Luz didn't want others knowing about it if she could help it.
"Amity?" She asked, wanting to see if the Witch was here before she stepped into the room proper. "Amity, you in here?"
Silence came back, so Luz took a few steps into the room.
And it was empty. Luz sighed. She had had a feeling that this would have ended up being the case, but... Well, she had hoped that she would be wrong.
The room felt... Weird without Amity there. It wasn't the first time that Luz had been back to Amity's secret room since she first learned it existed - Amity had actually allowed Luz into the room several times in the past. While in there, the pair of them would do homework, read together, or just talk. It made Luz feel proud, knowing that she was one of the only people that Amity was okay with being in this room... Though now, she knew the reason why Amity had let her in.
It didn't feel the same without her here.
Briefly, Luz checked her Scroll again, and couldn't help but let out another sigh as she saw that she had no new notifications from Amity.
But she could see that Amity had seen the message.
Somehow, that was worse than the idea that she hadn't even seen the message at all. Like she was aware that Luz was looking for her, but just wanted to ignore her, and hope that she would go away, and not try to get in contact with her again.
Granted, really, it was only a matter of time until they ran into one another again. In the worst case scenario, Luz would just have to wait until Hexside reopened, and unless Amity planned to literally move schools, or just skip classes entirely, she wouldn't be able to put this off forever. But that... That wasn't how Luz wanted to do this. If she had to, she would, but...
...That didn't mean she liked the idea of Amity being so afraid of her that she'd put off even seeing her until the last possible second. She didn't want Amity to be afraid of her. She wanted to...
...She just wanted to figure things out between the two of them. Know where they stood. And what the hell she felt towards Amity.
Because she was becoming both increasingly unsure, and certain at the same time.
"...Where the heck are you, Amity?" She whispered to herself, feeling a tug at her chest.
As she looked up from her Scroll, the table at the back of the room caught her eye. She paused for a moment when she saw the items on there, and slowly approached them. There was a box behind three items, and the box, Luz didn't recognize, but the items, she did.
Amity had been here at some point. Recently. These... Had to be things from her house. None of these had been here before.
Of what was here, the diary was the least noteworthy. Thanks to the 'Library Incident' involving Edric and Emira, Amity had moved the diary to her home to hide it somewhere there. Luz already had a fairly decent idea of what was in there, and she wasn't planning on going through it again. Its presence here was noticeable, but aside from that, Luz all but disregarded it.
What stood out to her first were the stack of photos - A large collection of them. Picking up a few, she flipped through them, and recognised where a large chunk of them had come from - A school trip to the Skull, a fairground, the Serpen-Hawk Incident, and other times where their group had been together. Some had her in them, and some had their friends in them.
Given the context of... Everything going on right now, Luz couldn't help but keep track of the number of these photos that had her in them, and interestingly enough, she wasn't in a disproportionate number of them. She appeared just as much as everyone else. Which said something about how Amity had come to see the rest of their friends.
When she got to the final few pictures though, her heart stopped. It was Grom. Copies of what had gone into the yearbook, Luz noticed. It would have made sense to have some of them, even if Amity's feelings towards Luz weren't romantic, but the fact that they were...
...And that redirected her attention to the tiara. Amity had kept it, while Luz didn't even know where hers was anymore. The significance of that night, now that she looked back on it...
...Had...
...Had it been her that Amity had wanted to ask to Grom?
Luz had never seen these things before - Because she had very rarely ever been to Amity's house, and never in her room, because of some sort of restriction her parents put in place. The few times she had been there, she had been there just to meet up with Amity, or if they were permitted, to train in the courtyard. She had no idea that Amity kept these things. And now that she knew how Amity felt...
How important this had been to her...
How much sentiment she clearly had for Grom...
How much she valued her friendships with everyone...
How out of all the things in that great big house of hers... These were the only things she had moved here?
...How long had Luz been oblivious to this?...
...
No.
She couldn't attribute this to just being oblivious. Sometimes, she missed fairly obvious things, or social cues, and sometimes she got in over her head, and misinterpreted people's feelings or intentions, and sometimes even just disregarded them. She was aware of that, and there were times where that lack of knowledge and awareness hurt those around her, and she tried her hardest to learn from it and be better, though she still struggled with it, even after living here for months now. She wasn't perfect, but she tried.
All that said though - She wasn't that oblivious.
...Eda was right. Willow was right. Boscha was right.
Amity hadn't hidden this well. Not especially. Realistically, anyone who observed her for long enough would figure it out. And now all the pieces were in front of her, Luz couldn't deny that. Memories came back of all the looks, all the time they spent together, all the hints that had just passed her by at the time... She wasn't ignorant to Amity's feelings. And maybe she never had been.
She had blocked them out. Because that was easier.
Because she was afraid.
Because what that meant was scary to her.
Because...
...Because people didn't like Luz Noceda like this.
Because that wasn't how it worked. That was never how it worked. Not back on Earth, and not here. So it was easier to attribute it to something else, because that...
Because that made sense.
Because there was nothing about her that someone would like.
Because there was nothing about her that someone should like.
Because there was nothing about her that anyone could like.
Because that didn't run the risk of hurting like all manner of hell.
Because it was easier than putting herself through that again.
...And now Amity was the one paying the price for it.
Because Luz had been a coward this entire time.
A tear fell from Luz's eye, and rolled down her cheek, and hit the photo in her hand. Said hand began to shake, and after dropping the photo, clung onto the table for support. For a reason Luz couldn't begin to comprehend, she tried to hold it all in. Maybe just out of habit at this point, from all the times she had felt like this back on Earth.
What the hell kind of a friend was she?
What sort of a friend did this to people they cared about?
What sort of a friend pushed this all onto other people?
What sort of a friend - What sort of a person blocked out how their other friends felt, and pushed them to this point?
All the times she had gotten that little bit closer to Amity, all the times she would engage in any sort of physical affection, all the times she would tease Amity, even jokingly -
She -
She didn't know.
She didn't know.
She didn't know!
She -
She hadn't meant to...
She -
A buzz from her Scroll suddenly cut into her thoughts, and almost immedietally, Luz's hands ripped it out of her pocket like it was an automatic response. She opened the Scroll up.
'Meet me at our tree.'
Amity. She had replied.
For a moment, Luz just stared at the message. Her breathing felt off for a moment. Then she bit her lip.
Closed her Scroll.
Dried her eyes.
And slapped her cheeks.
She still didn't know exactly how she felt about Amity.
But she was going to figure it out right now.
Because Amity deserved an answer.
To those of you who write - You ever had a chapter that didn't feel right, and then you get to the end, and then something clicks in your head, and then the whole chapter feels just right? That's how this chapter felt to me. I know this was short, but to be honest I kind of like that for this chapter. It feels.. Fitting somehow.
You've all got another cliffhanger - But next time, we're finally going to see thes two talk. Because god knows they need it. So hang tight everyone. Next chapter, we're diving deep. Might be a while cause I've been writing for it and... Ho boy this one is gonna be a toughie, but let see if we can't get through it!
Here's hoping that you all enjoyed - And that next chapter will be what you were all hoping for : D