Sirius had to admit it was possibly the worst date anyone had ever been on. If you could even say it was a date. At first Lucy just talked, as they made their way around the lake, which was boring but fine. Sirius found his mind wandering to quidditch plays, as he could see the Slytherin team practicing. He was just wondering if they were practicing swivel drops, when he felt Lucy nudge him.
"So what do you think?" Lucy said with a slight glare that showed she knew Sirius hadn't been listening.
"Oh" Sirius said caught off Guard and awkwardly replied "I umm think it's great"
Lucy raised an eyebrow "Great?"
"Yeah great" Sirius knew there was no point switching his answer now "sounds great to me."
"So you think the goblin slaughter going on in Tajikistan is great?" Lucy said in a cold and unforgiving voice.
"Well umm not for the goblins" Sirius muttered uncomfortably. He suddenly realized they were only a quarter of the way around the lake, so there was still much time to be filled.
"Maybe we should talk about something you are interested in. Perhaps then you'll listen." She mutter the last part but Sirius heard her clearly.
"We could talk about Quidditch, the teams been practicing-" Sirius started but Lucy interrupted him in a brisk voice that was eerily like Professor McGonagall.
"I'm not interested in Quidditch. It doesn't take any special magical ability to sit on a broom" she said.
"Sounds like someone didn't impress Madame Hooch" Sirius said it as a joke but it clearly struck a nerve.
"I heard you failed your charms exam" she retorted which seemed unnecessarily mean.
"I didn't fail technically I got caught cheating" Sirius said defensively. He remembered with a twing of guilt that he had cheated using answers Remus had written out for him. The night before the test Sirius had completely lost his cool about how he didn't understand any of it and he how much he hated it all. Without Sirius even having to ask him Remus handed him a sheet with all sorts of helpful information. It had been Sirius' fault he got caught, he was getting lazy hiding the sheet. But no matter how many times they asked him he wouldn't rat out Remus. When he got back to the dormitory Remus had been so relieved Sirius hadn't ratted him out he'd hugged him suddenly, and Sirius remembered smiling and saying something along the line of Moony I'd never betray you, you goof.
"Sounds like failing to me, I'm surprised you haven't been expelled yet" She said, and Sirius was honestly starting to wonder what he had done to offend Lucy so deeply, and why on earth she had wanted to go on a date with him.
"It's cause we are so charming" Sirius said, remembering how Remus had said the same thing after the four of them emerged from the head masters office after a stern telling off and Peter how questioned how it was possible they were still allowed on school grounds.
"We?" She said.
"Me"
"Sure" She said sarcastically.
After this the walk was mostly silent. Sirius wanted to ask why she had even bothered to ask him out if she so clearly despise him but he he didn't. He just kept to himself, and tried to remember in his head what homework he had to do when he got back to the castle. The two stopped just outside the castle, and Sirius turned to wish her an awkward good bye and then leave and just uncomfortably wave at Lucy if they made eye contact in their remaining time at Hogwarts. But she said something that surprised him greatly.
"Well this was fun, should we do it again next weekend." Her tone was brisk again and didn't really convey that it had been any fun at all, which it really hadn't been.
"It was?" Sirius found himself asking, only to be hit with sharp look that made him awkwardly add "I just mean I thought I offended you or something."
Lucy looked around for a moment before pulling Sirius off to the side. They were slightly off the main walkway now, though still near the enterance to the school. For a second Sirius worried that she had pulled him over here to snog and suddenly became very nervous and tried to take a step back.
"Look, I just kinda want to date someone" She said, for the first time she lost some of her composure, seeming a little sad and downtrodden.
"Okay, but maybe it should be someone you actually like" he said starting to feel bad for her though he didn't know why. There was a long pause, and suddenly it clicked for Sirius. "There is someone you like. Are you trying to make them jealous?"
"Not exactly" she said she was looking everywhere but at Sirius now, and fiddling her fingers "we just wanna keep things quiet for now, and people were getting suspicious so they said I should date some guy, that'll shut them up"
"That's insane who is this guy?" Sirius asked but when he was met with only silence another thing clicked in his head "or girl?"
There was a pause and for a second Sirius thought she wasn't going to tell him.
"I know you don't like her very much but it's Bellatrix, your cousin" she said looking up at him for the first time.
"Yeah you're right I don't like her very much." He said suddenly thinking he probably wouldn't help.
"Look i know Bella can be rude, and cruel." She said in a pleading tone. "But it's all a front. She just wants to fit in. She is actually sweet to me, and smart and beautiful. I know you hate her, but you're friends with Remus and you stood by him, so I thought.."
"Oh yeah Remus." Sirius hated that was his take away and how his thoughts flew back to the fair haired boy. For the first time since it happened Sirius wanted to tell someone he kissed Remus, or the times. But then he remembered the taunting he received, and watched Remus receive. And this interaction only made him realize how much deeper rooted this problem was. His cousin struck fear into every single person in this school, professors included. And if she was scared to share her secret, it meant there must be real shit.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have even asked" Lucy said "just please don't tell anyone."
She turned to leave but he stopped her.
"I'm sorry that you are going through that" he started genuinely feeling terrible for Lucy. She might hate him, or she definitely hates him, but she doesn't deserve this, no one did. "I can help you."
She looked utterly shocked, "Really? Why?"
"You're right it's messed up that you have to hide it and I wanna help. Plus I don't trust Bellatrix at all and I want to make sure she doesn't do anything nasty to you."
There was a third reason but Sirius couldn't admit that. This whole situation just felt like the easiest way around his own problem. He couldn't possibly have feelings for Remus, or any bloke for that matter if he had a girlfriend. He would be able to move passed whatever he had felt when he had been with Remus.
Suddenly he felt arms wrap around him and much to his surprise Lucy was hugging him, and by the small shakes in her body he wonder if she was laughing. But as they pulled apart he realized she was crying slightly.
"I'm sorry" she muttered wiping her eyes "I've been quite stressed"
"It's okay." He replied awkwardly "should we head in"
"Yeah" and then she interlaced their fingers "we gotta sell it"
He nodded and the two headed up the castle. He wonder if holding hands should make him feel something. He guessed it would, he wasn't unrealistic, he didn't think the whole world would collapse and butterflies would shot out his ass cause he was holding hands with someone, but he thought it might make him feel something, anything. He guessed it's cause he didn't like Lucy in that way. But with another girl he would. You felt something when Remus held your hand, a small voice in the back of his mind muttered but he pushed it away. That had been momentary, Remus had taken his hand briefly as they walked back to Gryffindor tower after their evening on the astronomy tower. When Remus larger hand incased his, their fingers sliding together, and Remus had squeezed Sirius' hand, Sirius had blushed, and felt a warm nervous yet happy feeling in his gut. But that was all the circumstance Sirius told himself, they'd been out messing around it was late, he was just feeling exhaustion and excitement.
They walked into the great hall but it was mostly empty. A first year Hufflepuff was walking towards the dungeon, and two Ravenclaw girls with Brooms under their arms heading out to play Quidditch. So their show was for nothing. They dropped hands immediately, and said a quick and pretty lifeless goodbye to each other.
Sirius headed back up to the Gryffindor tower, trying his best to keep his own thoughts out of his head. When he entered the common room, he saw his friends gathered around the fire, James, and Peter seemed to be enchanting pieces of paper to fly at Remus head. Remus, who was sitting in a seat closest to the fire a book in his lap, and his legs hanging over one arm rest, was batting them away with an air of annoyance but fondness that was signature Remus. When Sirius walked over James stopped immediately and jumped up and turned to him.
"How'd it go?" He asked "you snogged? Or does she hate you that would be so funny!"
"No one could ever hate me Prongs, have you seen my hair" Sirius said sitting down in between James and Peter and shoving them both a little so he could fit.
"There is a another chair over there." Peter grumbled.
"Aw but you'd miss me too much Wormy" Sirius said reaching over and squeezing his cheeks only to be slapped across the hand quite hard "hey no hitting we taught you better than that."
"No Padfoot that's exactly what we told him to do" James said, Sirius couldnt help but glance over at Remus and see he had gone back to his book now flying paper had stopped, but Sirius knew he was listening and not actually listening. Whenever Remus was actually reading he furrowed his brow just a little in concentration, and now it was flat and smooth.
"Oh yeah, good job Pete." He said patting his head.
"So tell us what happened?" James said bringing the conversation back to his "date".
"What do you wanna know, we walked, we talked, we defeated a stray giant who wandered on to the grounds and was torturing first years" Sirius said.
"Really?" Peter said excitedly but Sirius just looked at him in a prolonged sorta way "ohhh"
"But it was good. She obviously super pretty and smart" Sirius was interrupted by Remus suddenly getting up, everyone turned to look at him and suddenly he looked like a a deer in head lights.
"What you up to Moony?" James said looking concerned.
"I've gotta go to the library. Need to finish the potions essay." Remus said as he gathered his bag.
"You already finish the potions essay mate." Peter said holding up a piece of paper "I'm copying it now"
Remus snatched it out of Peter's hand.
"When did you even take this?" Remus said shoving the piece of paper in his bag.
"When you were in the washroom, but you definitely finished it. I checked. Didn't want to get half way through and half to give it back and then take it again. Peter said.
"I just realized I made a mistake." Remus said he started to head towards the door, but Peter jumped up and followed him yelling questions about where the mistake was, and how to fix it.
"So the date was good?" James asked.
"Yup." Sirius replied very ready for any other conversation topic.
"Okay so what the fuck is going on with Remus?" James said and Sirius had to grab the side of the couch so he didn't fall off in shock.
"What me and Remus aren't doing anything why would you say that." Sirius said scooting to the other end of the couch.
"Yeah, wait what. I was talking about how sad and weird Moony has beeen, and he is hanging out with Lukas what the fuck is up with that?" James said. "What were you talking about?"
"Nothing, I was just we are, planning a prank, I'll tell you details later. What do you mean sad and weird?" Sirius tried to recover, James looked sceptical but didn't say anything.
"One how dare you plan a prank with out me, we are officially no longer mates. Two, I don't know he seems to wander off on his own a lot, and when he is with us he isn't really, you know. Like his minds gone. Do you think it's that Lukas bloke again. Like maybe they started dating again and he is being an asshole to Moony making him feel bad. I'll kill him if thats it, then I'll kill Remus for going back to him, then I'll kill us for not noticing or stopping it earlier." He said. Sirius was taken a back with the genuine concern James seemed to be harbouring. He knew James was a good friend, he'd always been a good friend to Sirius at least, but their friendship was mostly jokes, and quidditch. Like yes Sirius leaving his family had been hard, but the laughter James gave him was the support he needed, this was different.
"I don't think that's it." Lily Evans said sitting in the chair that had been previously occupied by Remus "sorry for Eavesdropping."
"No it's fine, I eavesdrop on you all the time." James said in a ridiculous attempt at welcoming Lily to the conversation but when she just raised her eye brows he added "I just mean you can join any conversation I am having ever, like please do, all of them, for the rest of my life."
"Nice save." Sirius said sarcastically under his breath.
"So Remus" she said clearly redirecting the conversation "I agree something is wrong but I actually don't think it's Lukas"
She looked at Sirius, and Sirius knew why. In fact they both knew why Remus was sad. Or at least they suspected. For a moment he was worried she was about to give away his secret as well as Remus'. But she didn't she just said,
"I guess we all just support him, in our own way."
"I agree with Lily." James said immediately.
"You always agree with Lily" Sirius grumbled.
"Yeah it's cause I'm always right."