Jemima
Six days they made us stay, six very long days and nights. I wasn't fairing well by the time they decided we could go home a week after a Eric had made his surprise appearance. They said I couldn't have over night visitors, so I spent a lot of time on FaceTime to either max or Matty. Max even pulled an all-nighter the first night. He'd been literally waiting by the door each morning to be let in for partner visiting hours. I was surprised he hadn't been late once, I'm fairly sure he had ten alarms and all the boys helping him making sure he left the house on time. He'd arrive with food parcels from milo and then a steady stream of family on rotation during normal visiting hours. I'd been FaceTimed into new year, twice, once with the boys and the other with peter.
"Morning baby" Max's cheeky face popped round the door "how you feeling?"
"Nervous" I nodded honestly. Checking Eric for the thousandth time.
"Hey, he's fine, I asked the nurse on the way in. They said he had a really good night. Hello mate, hey, you miss me huh? I missed you. Come on up you come to daddy, hello little man. Happy one week birthday dude, you a big boy now huh, you daddy's big boy." Max fussed picking Eric up. "We got the all clear after the next checks, they said it's just a formality. Your bloods looked good so did little mans. Sorry buddy, daddy couldn't watch them do that to you, no I couldn't. They hurt my little buddy didn't they."
"Hey kiddo" Matty sauntered in shutting the door "they let me in early today as you're going home, help you pack up, got his car seat, I came in with max." Matty plonked it on the bed. I rocked it gently with my hand, looking at the empty space inside it, seeing Arthur's face looking back at me, I screwed my eyes shut tapping my hand.
"It's ok baby, it's a good one. I asked for the best one for a premie, it's got a little insert cushion thing to make him fit better, I double checked with that nice nurse before I bought it. He might be my one week old big boy but he's still a teenie eh." Max rubbed my cheek softly "you need a change little man, your itty bitty butts warm, right between daddy and uncle Matty let's see if we can get it right this time eh."
"Was she holding him or was he in the box again when you came in?" Matty whispered
"In his box." Max whispered back sadly "she was sat checking on him though."
"Let's get them home eh. Being on her own really hasn't helped."
"Emmy, can you check this please, I don't want it falling off again" Max called over "I think I did it too loose again, I don't want to do it too tight in case I squish him."
"They're big on him anyway max" I tightened the nappy "I ran out of the premie ones. They only had normal sized ones."
"You should have texted baby, I stocked up. At least I think I did. I had to go back and change a bunch of stuff because Sandra said it was the wrong size. He's too small for newborn. Well I sent Jack."
"No ones twigged yet Jem. We've managed to get in and out without being spotted. You'll have to announce little Eric at some point I would imagine unless you want it leaked. People need to know. Family and friends."
"I rang William." I nodded sadly
"Oh" max tried to dress Eric "dude arm in the hole! I'll roll it, don't argue with me boy! He's got some attitude on him for someone so small. How'd he take it? William?"
I shrugged, in all honesty I'm not sure what I was expecting. I hadn't spoken to him in a while, just texting. I think he had company over and I wasn't sure how I felt about that if i was honest. I didn't expect him to be anything but supportive. He offered to help in anyway he could and to just give him a call. He even asked if he could visit the hospital. I brushed him off, one knowing max would be pissed. two, like my brother said we'd so far managed to keep Eric a secret. Three, I'd heard max say he hoped he didn't turn up because people might think eric was his as we hadn't gone officially public yet. William seemed disappointed but was still keen to come visit and meet Eric once we were back hame and settled. Maybe when Peter was coming over, that would be less awkward. Although I'm not sure how long he's back for, I was feeling guilty I hadn't seen him much the last few months, but I knew max had a problem with it. I realised speaking to him that I missed him.
"Emmy? He kick off about it?"
"What? William? No" I shook my head "he wants to meet him."
"Well you're still friends, we haven't seen him in ages. Maybe when Peter gets time off work eh? I'll see if I can get Tammy over too. Old gang back together."
"That's what Peter said, he wants to bring.....someone else too though and I don't know how I feel about that." I fiddled with Erics foot
"Who?"
"No one forget it. He might bring Enoch, if they're still dating. It's looking like a few months until he can get over here." I sighed "not sure I'm up for meeting new people, or social gatherings. He might get sick with all the people. Planes are full of germs aren't they, maybe I'll quarantine Peter when he gets here" the two of them laughed, then realised I was being serious so stopped
"Sis, he'll be fine" Matty kissed my head "look they gave us a sign to hang on his car seat and a few more, one for his pushchair when you decide which one you want and one for his cot." Matty showed me the tags that said stop! Delicate baby, Wash your hands.
"I got a basket for him for now Emmy. Mum recommended it, he's a bit small for a full sized cot. They do these smaller things, we can look when we get home eh. Didn't want to rearrange our room without your help anyway. Ed said he'd swap if we need more room."
"No thank you" I shook my head
"No worries, he don't take up much space do you Eric. Don't eat your hand, it's a new onesie. You're gonna make me change you again before we leave eh mr." Max kissed Eric's cheek laying him on his chest, wiggling around. "choose some music on my phone Emmy, he don't like the quiet."
"He doesn't like the dark either." I told max "I wanna go home max" I broke down randomly, like I had been doing all week.
"I know, I know, we're going I promise. Just a formality today. Sign some papers and stuff, then we've got my car parked in the car park. I'm taking you both home Emmy."
By afternoon we were still sat around waiting for the nod to go home. Jackie showed unannounced, to help, I knew she'd been getting in Max's head again, old derogatory and negative phrases had crept back in and I knew they'd only come from her and maybe Henry, although I'd never heard Henry say anything, he never corrected her though.
"I rang Sandra and she said you weren't back yet. Is everything alright?" Jackie came in picking up Eric out of my arms where I was winding him. I went to protest then thought better of it. "Is my favourite boy doing any better today? Oh I know granny Jackie's here now" she patted him
"Gentle mum." Max fussed "wait did you wash your hands" jackie paused looking at him "mum! How many times, hand him over, look they gave us signs for his car seat and everything!"
"Sorry! I was just keen to see him" she whined washing her hands in the quickest wash I'd ever seen "he feed any better today Jemima?"
"A little, I'm not sure. Not really."
"Can I have him back now please" I whispered to max
"Sorry baby. Sorry, damn it sorry. Here" he whispered kissing my head "no ones taking him from us I promise, I'm sorry I should have stopped her."
"Pass him over so you can have a break jemima" Jackie came back over
"Mum!" Max pulled her away, getting annoyed "you shouldn't have just taken him off her like that, please will you just try and listen to me. I explained about Arthur, how he was taken from her, snatched from her arms, so please, try to remember to ask first, for me. The woman that came to see us said we should."
"Fine, fine. You think anymore about switching to bottles Jemima? I bought a really good set for premature babies, not that he is, well a little, just small eh Eric, we'll soon fatten you up."
"He's fine as he is" Matty snapped "she's breast feeding. They wouldn't be letting him go home of he wasn't feeding Jackie. He is a premie, he was four weeks early. Considering the circumstances and the fact he's a premie, he's doing bloody good and he's coming home, they thought he'd be in a lot longer. He's put weight back on."
"You think about it darling." Jackie patted my knee, I looked up at max teary eyed. Feeling overwhelmed.
"Mum please, if you're here to be pushy again can you just leave" max twitched out
"Did you take your meds?"
"I'm not on meds" max said through gritted teeth
"They're always worse when you're here" I mumbled under my breath, Matty sniggering, packing up my things.
"So, you'll come and stay with us until he's a bit bigger. Until you can get some time off Maxwell." Jackie announced
"What?" I asked worriedly looking at my brother
"We're going home mum, boys are getting stuff ready for me."
"You can go home when you've learnt what to do and how to look after them. Now stop making a fuss. And stand still! People will think you're on drugs again, have you been smoking weed?"
"No! I won't have weed in the house with my boy there! I haven't had a joint in a long time! I'm excited my boys coming home. I get wiggly when I'm excited."
"Control it. You're embarrassing Jemima. You want to loose another one because you can't control yourself. Poor Cara and don't get me started on sweet Tatiana! I'm going to go see if I can hurry them up. Make sure the black eye is covered up, last thing we need is you in the papers labelled as a woman beater too. If you want to keep him then you start controlling yourself young man." Jackie swiftly left
"Max?" I asked worriedly
"We're going home to our home Jemima, not mum's. Unless you want to."
"Sandra's offered to come and stay for a few days Jem, to get you settled in and be on hand 24/7. It's up to you but I'd rather you came home. I know we don't know what we're doing and have been thrown in at the deep end but I'm confident we can figure out the basics between us with mum's help."
"I don't know what to do" I whispered "I don't think I can do this max" I shyly admitted, placing eric on the bed.
"What stay at mums? That's fine, we don't have to."
"No, I mean.....I'm not sure.......I feel numb again."
"Oh baby" max squeezed me tight "you'll feel better once we're home and you can sleep in your own bed. Everything will be fine."
"He should be here and he's not and and and...."
"Jem, you can love them both. Did William say something to upset you or is it just Mrs attitude problem out there?"
"Hey that's my mum dude!" Max slapped Matty's arm
"I'm not embarrassed by you." I reached for Max's hand "I don't know why she thinks I would be. Slightly pissed off that least two of the nurses like your wiggly butt dance moves. Sluts" I rolled my eyes, Max sniggering "I caught one red handed looking at your butt. She was filming you on her phone! I don't know what you're laughing at, shes lucky I didn't bitch slap the cow. She kept asking me questions about midnight blue, I told her to fuck off in the end. Then they have the cheek to say if I'm abusive towards their staff they'll be consequences. Stupid bitch. If she weren't asking personal question about my boys, my love life and who the baby daddy was I wouldn't have told her to fuck off. She bloody asked if I could give you her number, she asked for yours. She was new. The chart says Eric Miller, I asked them to change it but they said you'd asked them not to for security."
"I did, bit obvious having weaver on his board outside the door. Why did she think max was always here and being let in for partner hours? Right you said she was new. Still, we all call him daddy. This last night sis, night staff? after we left?" Matty asked, I nodded "right excuse me." He stomped out
"Sorry Emmy. We get this all the time, we've gotten used to it and just ignore it. Sorry. She really ask for my number! I thought she was looking at me funny. I hadn't seen her before. Not sure I said daddy or you while she was in here. You would have thought one of the others would have said. Never mind eh. Well done for not bitch slapping her. It's easier to take the number and throw it away baby." He giggled kissing my head "I love you Jemima miller."
"I love you too. If you want to go to your mums we will but I want to be with Matty and sleep in my bed, if you want me to be honest."
"Absolutely, I'll invite them round. Milo's made a cake for Eric's first week birthday. Your black eyes nearly gone now, thank goodness" he inspected my face.
"Why is Matty kicking off?" Jackie asked coming back in without knocking
"Leave him be mum, he's just making a complaint I think. I'll explain later. Look mum, we appreciate the offer but we'll go home. If we're not coping then I'll take you up on your offer. Will you and dad come round for afternoon tea? Milos made a cake, to celebrate my boy turning one week old."
"If that's what you want. Doctors running late they'll be here in the next half an hour at the most, then we can get you out of here eh Jemima. I bet you'll be glad to see the back of this place." She laughed giving me a motherly hug, I nodded laughing along "you need anything darling, I mean it absolutely anything you give me a ring, max make sure she has my number."
"Will do mum, thanks. You wanna go fetch dad and we'll see you back at ours? So you can be there with the welcoming party."
"I'll give him a call. Don't drop him on the way out max."
"I won't mum, you're making me nervous when you keep saying it. We'll cover him over with a blanket Emmy just incase we're spotted."
An hour later we were packed up ready to leave. "Right time to go home little man" max kissed Eric's head "you ready baby?"
"As I'll ever be. You sure there's not a midnight blue mob out there?"
"No, definitely not, got milo and Ed on decoy missions, Ed is trending with his PDA with Laura." Max giggled "you all good? You need to change or anything before we go, you know your lady things" he wiggled his finger at me that I swatted away "I stocked up on all that stuff too. Sandra went and got it all for me. She even got these cooling things you stuff in your bra. I put them in the fridge. Are your nipples sore?"
"Oh my god, yes, can you shut up" I sat flustering, embarrassed
"Sorry. Just trying to be what's the word" max thought hard "caring? Supportive?" He questioned "I wanna look after you, be a good boyfriend."
"You just want to know when you can have sex again now that Matty clearly knows you broke his rules so you don't have to hide it any more!" I sarcastically quipped at him
"Oh he still needs to hide it Jem." Matty joked "ones enough weaver! I'd better not hear anything, I still have my spare key!"
"Ooooo I don't know, what do you say Eric you want a sibling? If we get a girl we got a full house eh buddy."
"That fart means sod off and keep it in your pants dad" Matty laughed "he's so gonna be team uncle Matty. Welcome to the cock blocking team my little friend."
"No fair" max playfully whined "baby I'm joking around. Seriously you all good? It eased off a little?" He asked sweetly, I nodded "right let's go then, sorry mate, under you go. He likes those pacifier things, even though they're as big as his little face, I'll get him some more. He don't like the other smaller ones. Here put your headphones in baby, reduce the anxiety. Right and we are off." Max enthusiastically announced, waving goodbye to the staff, thanking them. They'd already taken a photo with Eric's main team, minus the one I'd told to fuck off. She was new anyway. Matty had bought the main four that had been looking after us flowers, chocolates and tickets to the next midnight blue concert as a thank you. They seemed pleased.
I nervously walked along with max, Matty having hurried off with Eric in his car seat. I felt stupid in Max's over sized hat, giant sunglasses and matty's hoodie, we looked dodgy. This wasn't normal. Having to do shit like this wasn't normal. I thought back to William while listening to a piano cover he'd sent me, at least I didn't have to hide when I went out with him incase we got mobbed. If Eric was his, we'd be walking out as a family, together. The thought of Eric in a midnight blue frenzy was giving me a panic attack, just thinking about it.
"We're nearly there baby, keep moving, no ones spotted us, keep your head down, that's it you remember the drill. Quick in you get. Matty sit in the back with her and Eric for me. You got him in?"
"No" Matty huffed frustrated, how the hell does this thing go in?"
"here let me do it, I practiced with dad yesterday. There you go little man. Oh shit, paps, go go go" max slammed the door "did he get us Matty? Did he see Eric?"
"No, he dropped his camera I think. Saw some actress going into the hospital, probably here for them mate. He must have spotted your car. Come let's get home eh?" Matty threw his arm around me "Levi's waiting by the door for you. Literarily. I think he knows the sound of Max's car engine. He don't do it for the others. Photo op, little man's first car ride" Matty grinned taking photos and videos on his phone
"I don't have a photograph of Arthur" I whispered looking out of the window
"I know sis. I know. Going to take sooooo many of this little dude though, documenting everything. I will be embarrassing you boy when you bring your first girlfriends home." Matty joked
"My boys gonna break some hearts aren't you son." Max announced proudly