"Pumpkin Eater"
KINLEY ADAMS
My dorm was cold. Much colder than usual. And very echoey if I'm being exact. I opened my eyes to the bright sunlight beaming off of my skin. The more I started to wake up the more I realized how foreign the scenery was. This is definitely NOT my dormitory.
Merlin's beard I fell asleep in the Astronomy tower!?
"Oh no, what time is it?" I said as I stood up from the floor, talking to myself.
Unaware of the time I brushed down my robes and quickly combed my fingers through my long dark hair and ran down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Luckily, I still had my robe on so I didn't look too out-of-the-loop. Walking through the doorway I noticed everyone was there already.
Alright, I don't think I'm that late.
As I get to the Gryffindor table I am greeted by Harry, Ron, and Hermione who were already seated. And there they were again, flirting their arses away. My heart felt heavy. Like there was some sort of weight pushing down against my ribs and into my heart, but I chose to ignore the feeling.
I sat down next to Ron.
"Kinley, hi!" Ron said as he wrapped his arm around the back of my neck and kissed my forehead.
"Hi," I smiled weakly.
"We missed you yesterday," he continued.
"Yeah," Hermione said while leaning forward on the table so she could see me. "You never showed up for dinner and you weren't in our dorm last night. Where were you?" She asked concerningly.
Er, what do I say?
"Oh, I just uh — well I fell asleep in the uh — in the common room." Lie. "You didn't see me?"
"No, I guess I didn't." She looked confused.
"Well,' Harry said while cutting into his French toast, 'you didn't miss much."
"Yeah, except for the part when Harry was drooling over Cho," Ron said while breaking out into laughter.
Hermione started nudging Ron while laughing with him.
"Shut up, the lot of you!" Harry blurted out and looked at Cho who was already staring at him.
I chuckled to ease the mood. It was funny, I do admit, but my mind is still in a different headspace. I have to talk to Ron about this whole situation tonight. I can't keep pushing off my feelings and leaving myself in the dark about what is going on between the two.
"So, Kinley, Ravenclaw is throwing a party tonight. Cho invited us, do you want to go?" Harry asked.
"Yeah sure, sounds fun."
"Brilliant. We'll meet in their common room at 6 pm."
Honestly a party is the last thing I want to do today but I might as well have some fun to distract my mind.
"You're going as my date Ron, right?" I said as I looked at him.
He looked towards Hermione and then back at me smiling. "Of course, Kinley."
Hermione was smiling softly.
I rested my hand on my cheekbone and I looked down towards my plate of food and began toying around with my eggs, pushing them from one side of the plate to the other. I could probably sleep for another 5 hours if I really wanted to. In my bed though, not the cold cement floors of the astronomy tower. As everyone continued talking I decided to go to the loo just to clean myself up a little and to clear my head again.
***
As I walked closer I could hear subtle rattling of stall doors but I decided to push it aside. Opening the door I see Pansy and Draco shagging on the sink like rabbits. I immediately covered my eyes and started internally screaming.
"Ew what the fuck! Get a room for Merlin's sake!" I shouted as I shut myself out of the loo.
"I'm literally going to vomit, that was horrifying," I said to myself as I was trying to wipe away the image from my eyeballs. "Filthy pigs."
Not even a minute later Pansy walks out of the bathroom and Draco follows after her, buttoning up his shirt and slipping his tie back on.
"Is there a problem?," he sneered.
"Yes there is, actually. The loo is meant for plenty of things, and using it as a place for 'quickies' isn't one of them," I snarled.
He drew forward until he was towering over me and sneered down in my face. I forced myself not to cower back.
"You're just mad that your little weasel boyfriend can't fuck you like that." he said glaring at me with an evil smirk.
My stomach fluttered and my face felt hot. I could tell my cheeks were getting pink.
"I'm really not in the mood, Malfoy. Now, if you don't mind I'm going to use the loo the proper way," I sneered back at him.
He was foul and loathsome and didn't care about anyone but himself. I wouldn't say I hated him but I sure as hell didn't like him. I want to hate him, I really do, but he honestly hasn't given me a reason to truly dislike him that much.
"Don't get turned on by the smell of sex," Draco grinned.
That's foul.
I looked him up and down with a disgusted look on my face.
Pansy giggled at his comment and narrowed her eyes on me. "C'mon Draco, I can't stand to look at this pathetic girl any longer," she said in a condescending voice.
"Eat shit, Parkinson," I sneered.
She grimaced at me and left for the Great Hall leaving Draco and I. I rolled my eyes in return as I watched her brush down her button up and fix her tangled hair from the back.
In the same moment I felt something press lightly under my chin. Draco had my chin lifted slightly with his wand. A spec of light glinted in his eyes as he met my gaze for a small moment.
"Don't get too carried away in there Princess, breakfast is waiting for you." His tone was low and calm with a note of menace in his voice.
I gulped slightly, not breaking away from his eye contact. He removed his wand from my chin, turned his heel and walked in the direction of the Great Hall.
"You know what, I think I'll go somewhere else," I said to myself, clearing my throat in the process.
I made my way to my dormitory where I decided to use my own bathroom. I don't know why I didn't just go here in the first place.
10:34 am
As I brushed my teeth and hopped in the shower, I thought about how I could approach Ron about what's going on. I needed to get him at a time where he is alone though because I didn't want to cause a scene in front of everyone.
I stood in the shower for some time allowing the water to hit my back. Suds filled my hair and began to drip down my spine as I washed out every ounce of soap. My radio played a subtle tune that was just loud enough for me to hear. I used my vanilla scented bar of soap to scrub every nook of my body. As I went under the water soap traveled down my legs and landed at my feet while simultaneously getting sucked down the drain.
I opened the shower curtain and the room filled with steam. The mirror was fogged and condensation dripped down the scarlet walls. I dried myself off, dropped my towel to my feet and lathered myself in a smooth cocoa butter based moisturizer. I slipped on a set of my matching black bra and underwear set, put on a grey oversized crew neck that said "GRYFFINDOR" in a scarlet red color and slipped on a pair of my black cotton shorts.
12:58 am
I heard students piling into the Gryffindor common room so I decided to go down to see everyone. Walking down the stairs I see Harry, Ron, and Hermione so I decided to meet back up with them.
"Hey guys," I said while approaching them. I nuzzled myself next to Ron and his arm draped across my shoulders. He kissed my temple. "What's the plan until tonight?"
"I'm not quite sure," Hermione replied.
"Do you guys want to go to the Three Broomsticks?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, I'll go," I smiled.
"Me too," Ron said smiling at me.
"Brilliant!"
"Ginny wanted me to help her find a date for Ravenclaw's party tonight so I can't." said Hermione frowning.
"Can't you just do that a little later?" I replied.
"Kinley, the party is in a few hours I don't think 'later' is an option"
"Okay well we'll miss you," I gave her a hug. "I'll bring you back a Butterbeer."
***
It was a shame Hermione couldn't join us but it made me feel less worried about her and Ron flirting so it wasn't too terrible.
And so the three of us sat down at a booth. Ron and me, and then Harry across from us.
"So are you guys excited for the party," Harry started.
"Yeah, I guess so," I said sipping my butterbeer. "How are we supposed to dress, casual? or is it nicer than that?"
"I honestly couldn't tell you that, Cho never gave me the details. All I know is that it starts at 6 tonight."
"Hermione probably knows," Ron said. "She knows everything."
"Yeah...probably," I mumbled.
I don't know why but even hearing him say her name made my heart ache. It's never felt like this before, I mean we've all been friends for the longest of time but I don't know. I just feel like I can sense when something isn't right. I sipped my Butterbeer in silence. We conversated for a half hour longer laughing and talking about the drama at Hogwarts.
"I got to use the loo, I'll be back," Ron said as he left the booth.
When he left I had the sudden urge to tell Harry about everything that's going on. I mean, he's the only one I can get an opinion off of right now.
"Hey, can I talk to you about something?" I asked Harry.
"Sure, anything," he replied taking a sip of his butterbeer.
"Well uh-, do Ron and Hermione seem to be acting, I don't know...different to you lately?" My heart palpitated waiting for his response.
"What do you mean?"
"For Merlin's sake Harry, you don't see them flirting all of the time?," I questioned in frustration.
"You know, now that you say it I have seen them be more touchy, yet quite uncomfortable with each other at the same time. Very odd."
I nodded in agreement with him.
"It's exhausting seeing it every day and I- I just don't know what to do anymore. Do I tell him?" My eyes began to water but I kept it together.
"I think it'd be best if you tell him, you can't just keep everything bottled up all the time you'll explode."
I nodded again.
He rested his hand on top of mine. "Just know that no matter what I'll always be there for you, alright Kinley?"
"Thank you, Harry. I think I'll talk to him tonight."
Harry suddenly had a mood change and started clearing his throat while shuffling in his chair.
"Talk to whom about what tonight?" Ron said approaching the table.
My eyes widened on Harry and I turned to look at Ron as he sat down.
Merlin's beard no! What do I say? C'mon say something!
"Just um — stuff for a project I need to finish," I quickly spit out.
"Oh, what for?" Ron questioned again.
"Just uh — school stuff. You know how Hogwarts can be," I chuckled nervously.
"Oh...okay, yeah," he chuckled back.
Silence.
"Sooo,' Harry said awkwardly, 'do you guys want to head back to Hogwarts? The party's in a few hours."
"Uh, yeah I think that'd be best,' I answered awkwardly as well. 'I just need to get a Butterbeer for Hermione."
***
4:18 pm
I was in my dorm getting ready for the party when Hermione walked in.
"Did you find Ginny a date?" I asked while applying a simple winged liner.
"Yeah she's going with Dean Thomas," she started laughing. "She was so nervous to ask him I had to do it for her."
"Aw poor Ginerva," I started giggling. "Are you going with someone?"
"Um no, I was just going to go with you, Ronald, and Harry. Like as a group," She said softly.
"Oh yeah definitely!"
I walked towards my wardrobe and pulled out two dresses. One was a strapless bodycon in a deep maroon color and the other was a shimmery black bodycon with thin straps. I held them up to my body simultaneously while looking in the mirror. "Which one?" I asked.
Hermione turned me around till I was facing her. "Definitely the black one. It brings out your eyes and it makes your waist look great."
"You don't think I'll look overdressed, right?"
"Kinley...are you joking?" she chuckled, "Would you rather be under-dressed and go unnoticed, or be over-dressed and have people look at you in awe?"
"Black one it is." I exclaimed.
At first I wasn't up for a party tonight but I've had a change in thought. This could be fun. Plus I'm with all my friends having a good time so it'll make me forget the bad things.
"You can wear my red dress if you'd like," I said handing her the dress. "You'd look hot."
"If you insist," she smiled and slipped on the dress.
***
6:18 pm
After Hermione and I finished doing our hair and makeup we met up with the boys in the common room. Ron turned around in amazement along with Harry.
"Woah," he looked us up and down. "You two look...amazing."
I gave him a little twirl and curtsied. He licked his lips subtly and gave me a smile back. He turned his head to Hermione and looked her up and down with raised eyebrows. I looked over to Hermione and smiled wistfully.
It hurt seeing him look at her like that.
The Ravenclaw common room was big and beautiful with blue lights everywhere. It was amazing. Everything was so organized and very scheduled. Definitely not like the Gryffindor parties though, we were reckless. Most of the Ravenclaw's didn't like the thought of alcohol and underage drinking so they didn't have any out but Fred and George were handing out small shot bottles of fire whiskey under the table. I wasn't into drinking but a few shot never hurt nobody.
"Let's go dance!" I said pulling Ron's arm as Hermione, Harry, and Cho followed.
Everything was great. The music was great, the food was great, and the serotonin in the room was through the roof as we all were sweating our arses off. Some people were drunk off of fire whiskey and others were completely sober. No matter what though every one found fun in one way or another. I was dancing with Ron and Hermione while Harry and Cho were beside us sucking each other's faces off. I was drunk to the point where my throat no longer burned after every shot.
"I'm gonna go get us pumpkin juice!" I yelled, barely hearing myself over the music.
As I poured the drinks I looked over to see Draco standing in the doorway of the common room. He wasn't dancing. In fact, he wasn't doing anything. Just standing there scoping out the room.
I don't know why he decided to come if he was just going to stand there.
He eyed me up and down, observing me, watching as I spilt bits of pumpkin juice over the cups. He chuckled with contemptuous laughter as I fumbled with the cups. Wait, he wasn't looking at me anymore, he was looking past me. Grinning maliciously as he did so. My eyebrows knit together finely as he looked back at me.
I shrugged it off an turned my heel. Walking back with the drinks in my hands, the world stopped. Ron and Hermione were locking lips in the middle of the room, hidden between the abundance of people.
The world felt slow. The sound of the music muffled around me and my eyes overflowed with tears. The drinks in my hands dropped to the floor and pumpkin juice spread every where. I felt stiff — confused. Ron looked up from Hermione, pushing her off of him as he made eye contact with me.
Multiple eyes turned to me as I ran out of the common room, right passed Draco who was also staring at me. I ran up to my dorm, slammed the door shut and collapsed to the floor. I hugged my knees tight to my chest letting out all pain and anger. I cupped my hand over my mouth attempting to muffle my cry but it barely helped.
I had this deep feeling in my chest. Something inexplicable. The pain wasn't sharp, or dull. It was tight. It felt like a balloon that was so full it was on the verge of exploding. And it hurt to breathe.
I poured a shot of firewhisky down my throat, attempting to ease the pain. I could hear Ron banging on the other side — yelling for me to let him in. After a few minutes I grew the courage to open the door.
"What the fuck do you want, Ron?!" I've never yelled at him like this before.
"I just want to talk, please," He said almost calmly.
"Talk about what, exactly? How you were snogging with Hermione?! What the hell?" I muttered with a quavering voice.
"It's not like that — please, just listen to me," he started walking closer to me. I motioned my head in a way that told him that I was listening.
"I wasn't thinking back there. Whatever that was was meaningless. It — It meant nothing."
"I don't believe you." I stuttered, my voice unsteady.
"The lot of us down there are pissed, Kinley. None of us even know what's going on we're all just trying to have a good time. Please, believe me, I'm sorry if you feel hurt."
"Are you kidding me?" I muttered in disbelief. "Are you fucking kidding me, Ronald!?" My voice screeched, my throat rattling and sore.
"Kinley, please. I don't even know half the things that are going on right now. Things feel like a blur. Look at yourself, you're smashed too. We're all delusional, Kinley. All of us. Don't you understand?"
Maybe he was right. We're all intoxicated and delusional. But was he pissed enough to not know who he was kissing?
I grabbed a bottle of firewhisky from my night stand and swigged it, allowing the burn of the alcohol adhere to my throat.
"I want to believe you Ron, really, but I don't know..." I paced the room. "Lately I've been seeing the two of you chatting it up with each other constantly and seeing you two snog...' I shook my head. 'that doesn't seem like delusion."
He laughed half-heartedly "I'm dating you aren't I? Hermione and I are just friends. Friends are nice to each other, yeah?"
He was standing in front of me, holding onto my shoulders trying desperately to meet my eyes. His grip tightened slightly as he tried to make me aware of him. Trying to get me to understand.
"No t-they are it's just you two have gotten much closer and I-I'm not the only one that's noticed. Malfoy even pointed it out himself," I choked back tears as I finished my sentence.
"When did you talk to Malfoy?" he said upsettingly — his tone hoarse and disbelieving.
"That's besides the point, Ron. Can you just please promise me that there's nothing going on between you and Hermione?" I looked at him with sorrow. "Tell me, please."
He hesitated for a moment. "Y-Yes, yes I promise." He looked at me with worried eyes.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in, thinking to myself. I let out a breath and looked at him for a moment.
"I trust you."
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