❝Don't destroy the thing that I hold the most dear. That is all I ask of you.❞
Chapter 40 | epilogue
[5 months later]
The sky was in a sense crying, the wet droplets smattering across the sidewalk, rain dripping down umbrellas, making a frame of sorts around most people. Expect him, per say he didn't even have an umbrella. He was stammering from the cold, the water dripping down his nose and tangling into his lips, a salty taste to it.
He received odd looks, a young, somewhat, around seventeen or eighteen year old boy standing under the rain. Letting the rain tangle in with his hair and body, not moving to get under shelter. Instead, he stared up at the sky, fascination filling his face as he smiled in wonder at the droplets wandering down, the rain wasn't an unfamiliar sight.
Just a sight he loved beyond many other things, the mood it set was his favorite. Many would argue the rain set a dreary and somber mood, one that would ruin a day. He quite obviously disagreed, the rain set a sweet mood, nostalgic maybe he wasn't quite sure, but he did know that he loved the rain.
There was all there was to it, taking one last wistful look to the cloudy sky, rain soaking him, he made his way to school. Letting his eyes wander to the skies ever so often, he made his way inside the school gates, pushing his black hair away from his eyes, he smiled softly, eyes fluttering, cheeks a rosy red from the cold, nose bright pink he made his way inside.
He moved with an almost elegant grace, blending in well with the shadows, and getting past a crowd and barely brushing against others. It's the last day of school, the last day he'll ever wonder these halls with a stack of book in his hands. From now on he has a different course set out for him.
"Luce!" someone calls out and he turns to look at them, she's very pretty. Her eyes are glowing like the starlight, her black hair hangs down her back in soft waves, her eyes crinkle in the corner as she waves at Luce. And her glasses slip down her nose a bit, he smiles.
"Hey" he mumbles walking over to her, and smiling faintly she wraps her arm around his hand and presses a light kiss to his cheek. She smiles faintly as she looks around, leaning her head onto Luce's shoulder she sighs. "It's really all over huh."
He looks at the school, some kids are milling about talking in groups, he spies some familiar faces and faintly smiles at them. He nods softly, "Yeah it's over." Aera sighs again next to him, her eye darts to a boy. He's alone, standing there. He's not alone, he's surrounded by a million people.
But he looks so alone. Her heart aches as she no longer see a familiar golden face by his side. She turns to Luce, "Can I go talk to Will?" she asks. He raises his eyebrow, and nods. "Not sure why you're asking me, I don't control you. But go ahead." she flushes and nodding turns away.
Suddenly he grasps her hand, and she turns to him a concerned expression on her face. He frowns, an expression that Aera isn't particularly fond of on his face. He looks sad. "Tell him t-that he has my uh condolences for Ana's d-death." Aera quickly nods and turns away.
She understands that Luce and Will never got along, but Luce has never been unkind. She's glad that he could at least muster up this, she knew Ana's death had hurt him. They weren't very close, but they had talked a few times. Aera was a bit fond of Ana at the end, she was more than she made herself out to be.
Swallowing she walks up to Will, he's pale, his skin usually with a light tan is very pale. He looks like he's hollowing out, the light in his eyes is distant. And he looks as if he might collapse in on himself, it's a pained struggle to see the boy she once knew.
Maybe tomorrow will be a different day for him? She doubts it, the shadow of darkness that surrounds him remains there, as afternoon fades into night, the moon always rises, and takes out the light, someone would say to bring a lighter glow.
But Will's glow seems to have left him already.
"H-Hey" she stutters out, and he turns to look at her. His bright green eyes are distant, he looks as if he's seeing right past her. But he manages a faint smile, it's halfhearted and barely there. But it's appreciated, she knows how hard the simplest things can be.
"Hi Aera" he mumbles, and scoffs his feet along the ground. Awkwardness radiating from his whole being. He looks lost, as he stares past her. She smiles softly, "How are you doing?" she asks, and for a moment something like anger flares up in his eyes. But it's quick to disappear.
"I'm doing alright" he says, his eyes back to being distant. That faint glow of emotion, the faint anger is gone. He's emotionless once again, like a empty shell. Aera swallows, unsure of what to say. Her eyes dart to Luce, he's talking to one of his friends. A carefree grin on his handsome face.
"Uh Luce said you have his condolences" she mumbles, and Will's eyes dart to Luce for a second. He seems to remember something for a moment, but expression once again disappears from his face. He nods at Aera, "Tell him thanks."
She doesn't know what to say, and she doesn't how to help him. "You know Will, with time—"
He cuts her off, an spark of anger back in his face, this time it remains. He rolls those green eyes off his, and this time his expression is utterly focused on her.
"I've heard that a million times, everything heals with time or whatever. No it doesn't" he said an expression of fury on his face. Aera places a hand on his shoulder, as if hoping to steady him. He just flinches, his eyes hard and cold.
"I was going to say, with time we live with it. We don't move or, nor does it heal. We just learn to live with" she says as gently as she can. It seems to work just the littlest bit, his expression slowly relaxes. And his face scrunches a bit as he thinks about it. He nods resigned.
"I like that better" he mutters and Aera slowly smiles, a tentative smile. He halfheartedly smiles at her, he's not here at the moment. She can see it, but one day just like her, he'll learn to live with it. This much she believes, he frowns and suddenly says "Thanks Aera."
Aera smiles softly, "You're welcome." She wishers, Will smiles faintly his eyes still distant. "Ana would have wanted me to be polite, she always was so polite." He mumbled, his expression distant and blank. He looks disinterested and disheartened.
Aera snorts.
Will turns to her a question in his gaze, and then it occurs to him. He smiles sheepishly at her, "She wasn't that nice to you huh." he says, a faint light back in his eyes. It reminds Aera more of the person she used to know, the one that shone like the sun. Maybe one of these days he'll peek out from behind those clouds again.
She chuckles softly, "She did break my favorite pair of glasses" she suddenly rolls her eyes, "She said she'd pay for it, but she never even did." A little laugh escapes from Will's lips, and he even looks faintly as if he's enjoying himself. The eye bags under his eyes look a little less dark at the moment. He laughs again.
"That's Ana for you, nice one moment, moody the next. She's probably looking at me from up there, and being mad" he mumbles and he sounds so utterly sad that she wants to reach out and hug him. But he doesn't need it nor does he want it, she can see that. Aera smiles weakly, "She was pretty nice that one time thought, before she was probably jealous." she said.
Will's eyes suddenly brighten and then he bursts out laughing, she slowly raises a eyebrow. He laughs again, "It's been months, I forgot for a second there that we used to date" he wheezed out, a smile on his face.
It made him look alive once more.
Aera strikes a hand against her heart, a look of pain crossing her face. Will bursts out laughing, and she hears someone chuckle behind her. Turning behind her she spots Luce watching her, a fire burning in his dark eyes. He winks at her, and she flushes turning away.
"Thanks Aera" Will says, and this time it's more genuine. She smiles faintly, and they exchange a few more words before she turns away. He doesn't look happy, and it's understandable. But she hopes that with time he'll learn to live with it like her.
She hopes that with time he finds his happiness again.
__________
He sighs softly and flits his eyes to the window, his sigh fills up the void of the dark night as he tries to fall asleep. Before dawn comes to find him, when he's left alone in the pitch darkness of his room, nothing but the stars and moon to make it brighter, he lets himself smile.
In this starlight night, he's happy.
When morning comes, when the winter of the darkness passes, and the flowers bloom again, the scent of the warm morning air filling the room, and wrapping around his body makes him let out a sigh, as he wishes for rain.
The same routines repeat every day, but still in the corner of his mind he waits for a better tomorrow, as much as he shouldn't he hopes. Hope is a dangerous emotion, one powerful enough to strive others to climb mountains and shake the world with the hope they convey.
Hope however is the same thing that leads to disappointment when it doesn't happen, as he remains there at the beginning of the day, he hopes, hopes for a better morning, and a sweeter afternoon, and a starlit sky at midnight.
Day by day, drawing out the patterns for the way his life could better, maybe he could make a friend, maybe he could convince Aera to love him, maybe he could confess, maybe she could love him. But yet he remains in the same spot, a boy just covered by the dark night sky.
Maybe that's why at times they can't see him for a while, he blends into the darkness, as the clouds blend into the night sky, he's not a star. He stills holds onto hope, for a night without hope leaves his heart empty, the scenery of the day comes back into view. But he doesn't go it, denies reality, lets his eyes wander to the cloudy sky, he closes his eyes. Even when he closes his eyes, he still feels it, that hope, he wishes at times it would just leave him alone, he knows he's breaking down.
He looks to the sky once again, he thinks if he tried covering the sky with the palm of his hand would it ever cover? Does it cover? No, that's a definite no, when he says it's fine when he's lonely and wishes for more. It never becomes fine, no.
That's how life tends to be, you can't make it what it isn't. That's the way he finds himself back to reality, and life again. He's calm now. He knows where there is hope, there will always be a hardship.
There's no turning back time, that's a feat people deem as impossible as reading someone's mind, time moves on, flowing like a river. Maybe he wasn't happy a few seconds back, but he can be now. He will live as he pleases.
He has turned his maybes into yes', and the faint glimmer of happiness he hoped for has become his actual happiness now. His life it holds a different sort of meaning by her side, and it isn't just her who gave it to him. It started with him loving himself, him standing up for him, and him being proud of himself.
In this starlight night he's happy.
And he's happier still with her by his side.
The moon gleamed, a soft milky glow as it washed over them. It was especially bright today, the moon being almost full. Aera sleepily rubbed her eyes, and looked to the boy next to her.
He was staring up at the sky, one hand behind his head, and one clinging on to her hand unconsciously. The moon was flickering in between the clouds, wavering in and out. Currently it was out and the milky glow of the moon made his pretty skin shine extra bright today. He was enchanting.
Luce looks exhausted but still enchanting today, curling up closer to her he yawned. The girl next to him looked down at Luce and smiled sheepishly. Luce rested his head on her shoulder and once again yawned. His sleepiness getting the better of him.
"I wish-" Aera said suddenly, and then she cut herself off and frowned, eyes turning to the sky again. The sky's stars that were reflected in her eyes, made her look even more pretty. Luce blinked up at her, his vision blurry. He pressed a soft kiss into the curve of her neck, and closed his eyes.
"What do you wish?" He mumbled, burying his head back into Aera's shoulder. She was soft to his touch, she turned to him a soft smile on her face and grinned. The happiness reflecting off every visible part of her body, made her look just the more enchanting.
She turned back up to the sky, still not uttering a single word. He pulled his head up from her shoulder, and stared at her. Her shoulder was a great pillow. Aera sighed and a heavy set frown fitted itself into her pretty face, Luce reached up and ruffled her hair. "C'mon, what do you wish?"
"I wish that we could stay in this moment forever" she whispers and a faint smile crosses Luce's. He gave her a feeling akin to hope, some people crumbled like the dust, while others got up and walked it off like it was nothing. Luce took everything the world threw at him and dealt with it in stride.
He pressed a soft kiss to her fingers, and she giggled softly. "I promise to stay by your side forever starlight." Aera momentarily smiled down at him, and then a thought seemed to occur to her. And she kicked at him childishly.
"I've known you for forever, you never keep your promises dumbo" she said, Luce laughed at that. He leaned up so he was over her, his soft hair tickling her throat as he spoke. He reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, she resisted the urge to shiver under his touch.
"Me being eight and promising you that I would always sneak over and do your dishes for you doesn't count." He deadpanned, and Aera slapped him teasingly. "I didn't want to do those dishes" she whined, Luce rolled his eyes.
"I love you, but I am not doing your dishes" He said, his eyes light and warm. Aera sighed and turned away dramatically. "I would have done the dishes for you." she said and Luce chuckled.
"Then have fun doing my dishes." he teased, and Aera swatted at him. He laughed lightly, the brown in his eyes getting lighter. Turning away he lifted his body a bit, so he could pull something out of his pocket.
"Here I wrote you a letter" he mumbled softly, handing it to Aera. Her eyes lit up and she grabbed it from his hands, nimbly opening up the letter.
my starlight,
do you remember when i asked us not to be friends anymore? i thought you could do better, but once we were apart. i thought to myself, why couldn't i have just been better for you? i think i have done it my love.
i think i am worthy of you at last.
you're probably reading this and thinking i was always worthy of you, but at this moment i truly feel as i am worthy of you. i'd love to say that you could never find someone better than me, but that simply would not be true. and you have always hated lies.
you will, you will find other people. but i hope just like i do, you will always find me in them. don't worry if we're ever separated because you will find me in the tenderness of someone's smile, and the voices of a sweet song. you might never understand why they seems so familiar, but i'll be there.
i cannot see what the future holds, at times i fear it may not be me. but who can really know? it may be, it may not. all that matters is that in this moment is that my heart beats for you, and yours for me.
that's all that matters to me.
it is enough that i love you and you love you, and i will try. i will always try for you, i'll try to make it work. and look at us, we've already come so far. we can go a little longer, maybe we can go for forever and always.
i will love you infinitely, because when i fell in love with you. it did not happen overnight, it took days, months or even years, i remain unsure. but at the end of the day it was all worth it. it was worth it because you are worth every damn thing the universe has ever chosen to throw at me.
you will forever be my always.
because my starlight, you are the air in this twisted world. you are the words i speak, your voice is the one that echoes through my mind. i tell the stars about you, i whisper your name to the moon and hold you close to my chest every nighttime.
because when you came into my life eternity began.
you are not the same girl i fell in love with at first, and i am not the same boy from years ago. change is a part of life. you weren't born this way, you found yourself over a long and winding difficult road. and the more difficult your journey was, the more you found yourself.
same with me.
that is why i will love every version of you, because you are a soft, beautiful something. i wrote this one poem once when i was angry with you. and lord, it made you seem like such a awful person. but i understand then that you're just an angel who got lost along the way to heaven.
i love you, and i know it's difficult to imagine all my love is for you. i know it is, but nevertheless all my heart and all my love is yours. so i beg you my love, please don't crush it. please don't break it, and please don't lose it. because you make me the happiest i have ever been.
don't destroy the thing that i hold the most dear.
that is all i ask of you.
-yours luce
She looked up at him, and there were tears glinting in her golden brown eyes. There were stars in her eyes, the whole universe might have been up in the skies. But he saw the only universe that mattered to him, in front of him. With eyes like starlight, and a face like mythology. She reached forward and grasped his hands, the words falling from her lips heavy.
"Not everyone in this world gets a happy ending, but I promise you with everything that I hold in me that I will give you a happy ending."
And so it would be.
~~~~
well that's the end :| what to do with my life now lol?
here i wrote y'all a letter, took a page out of luce nova's book hahah.
dear readers,
well thank you for one, thank you for reading and giving my story a chance. and most importantly thank you for sticking with luce & aera this far. i know this is a work of fiction, it is nothing more than my imagination. but i am happy that in some way i got to make it real.
this story made me feel infinite in a sense, i don't love it. i think it's a bit meh, but there was always something so joyful about writing it. maybe it was the comments and support that i received, i cannot be sure. but it made me feel infinite.
who is everyone's favorite character?
personally i adore ana, now you're probably thinking why would you go and kill your favorite character. as i was writing this it occurred to me that like aera said before, not everyone in this world gets a happy ending. life isn't perfect, and i didn't want to give luce & aera a sad story because luce just deserves better haha.
he's put too much time and effort in this for it to fail, so i thought i could do it with will & ana. because the way life is made out to be, it is not perfection. not everyone gets the perfect relationship or the perfect happy ending. luce and aera may have, but they are the rare ones in this world.
in life there are sad endings and there are happy ones, i hope i reflected that in this story. the essence of life, the reason we live it to is live. i dont know what im saying haha, i apologize for trying to be deep and miserably failing.
i was also trying to show how with luce's brother that we are all the same, we bleed the same, and we are all human. it does not matter of your race, gender, sexual identity, etc. just be yourself. i don't think i did too well with that, but you know stand up for yourself.
be brave and be strong.
oh also shoutout to my brother for reading!
that was random but truly from the bottom of my heart, thank you all for being so supportive and sweet. i'll miss this. the world and the characters, you all, just you know everything. thank you for being the lights in my world, i love you all!
shine like the stars.
-t
any last thoughts?
like overall feelings on the book? comment now haha, this is your last chance!
and lastly, i'll miss you all and this story so so much. thank you for everything! take care, stay warm and healthy. i adore each and everyone of you!
goodbye :)