04/08/2023: Edited & reposted
** Kylo **
Kylo Ren had never dedicated much time to women. At least, no more than one night to the same one. Maybe in his old life he had enjoyed the attention of the girls that had followed him around the Jedi temple, giggling and trying to get him to flash a smile in their direction. However, that person was dead now. Kylo Ren was on his way to ruling the galaxy, and he didn't have time to pick up women in bars and distract himself with nights of pleasure. Those were the pastimes of weaker men. His Knights, for example. Men who didn't have the strength and level of responsibility that he had. He couldn't let himself lose control, for it could easily get in the way of the greater goal.
That was why, as he looked down at the girl sleeping in his arms, he felt like a failure. He had been nothing but weak and careless that night. He had acted like the irresponsible child that Snoke had accused him of being, despite whatever success he had had over the past few days.
Since Hoth, he had dedicated all his time to tracking a lead on the resistance, forced to work in conjunction with Hux's idiot troopers who could barely wipe their own asses without instruction. He hadn't slept in days. He had barely taken the time to eat. He hadn't wanted this mission to fail, and the only way to ensure that was to be present for one hundred percent of it. He'd normally entrust some of the lighter work to Ushar and Trudgen so he could get some sleep, but he'd had no choice but to leave his knights behind to watch the girl. He had known she would try to escape, but he would never dream of letting that kind of power go to waste. She could be the key that he needed to take down the Resistance. He would learn to control her, harness her power for the good of the First Order.
When Kylo had returned to Starkiller Base last night, he'd had every intention of finding the girl and punishing her. Really punishing her this time. Not only had she led them on a failed mission, but she had also caused him to look like a fool in front of Snoke and that pathetic excuse for a general.
And there was nothing that Kylo Ren hated more than looking like a fool.
He had been absolutely enraged after the encounter with Snoke. The unfortunate meeting had kicked him into overdrive. Relentless pursuit ensued, and he did not rest until he found the filthy resistance pilot who was scrounging for information on Jakku. Kylo took sinister pleasure in watching his futile attempts to escape. It brought him great joy to watch the stormtroopers blow up his shabby X-Wing. When Kylo heard the screams of the villagers, his blood sung in his veins. It had been his moment to prove himself, which left him with no other choice than to leave that shitty village in ashes. After all, that's what people who resist the First Order deserve.
He had returned to Starkiller base with a Resistance prisoner, but the pathetic pilot could barely open his eyes, let alone speak. Kylo would wait until he was awake to slowly torture him for the information before killing him in the most painful way possible. It was all in a day's work.
But, while he waited, he couldn't waste his window of opportunity to pay his little knight a visit and remind her that she was nothing but a pawn in his game. Show her that if it wasn't for her newfound power, he wouldn't have hesitated to kill her and leave her corpse on that desolate ice planet that she had somehow managed to live on. With a mere raise of his palm, he would have had her gasping for air in the middle of that library. He would have taken pleasure in watching her pupils widen, fearing for her life as the oxygen slowly seeped from her body.
Yes, he had every intention of doing that.
So, he asked himself as he watched her sleep, where the hell was the man that had killed every last villager mere hours before?
She had gotten into his head again, just like that. All she had to do was turn around, drop her book, and look up at him with those wide, pleading eyes. She had called him Master Ren. Instead of knocking her on her ass when he stepped through the doors, he was actually relieved to see that she was safe on Starkiller Base. He had known his knights had kept her from running away, but he was still somehow shocked to see her there, simply lounging and reading.
His desire to harm her had suddenly been replaced by a desire to... possess her. He wanted her on her knees again, gasping and crying as he pounded into the back of her throat. After all, he had made it clear that she was his. He wanted to remind her though, just for good measure. How dare she try to leave the First Order? Leave him? After she had fought so hard to stay at the beginning. His rage had begun to morph into something even more wild and untamed, shifting to form a new kind of monster that he had never seen before. This strong and intense desire had washed over him like burning lava, forging an invisible connection between them. He felt it when he was around her, and he knew that she felt it too.
The control he had experienced while watching the flames overtake the village on Jakku was gone. Ripped from his grasp by an orphan girl. And the only way to regain his upper hand was to feel her sighing into his mouth as he ran his hands over every inch of her body. He needed to taste her. He wanted her to scream his name. He wanted to split her open and fill her to brim. He had to have her.
So he did.
He had wanted to be gentle at first, to take his time with her. He told himself that tonight would be the last time that he would allow himself to succumb to this behavior, so he needed to be patient. He needed to savor the moment. Savor her sweet, blissful sighs. Unfortunately, the whole ordeal hadn't lasted very long at all. It was all he could do not to tear her clothes off her body and bend her over the table immediately. The way she whispered "I hate you" had sent a shiver of pleasure down his spine. He relished in the taste of her as she spasmed on the table from the work of his tongue, his length aching as it pushed against his pants. He had made a conscious effort to slow down after that, but hearing her ask for him had simply sent him over the edge. He had absolutely pounded into her as her tight little hole clenched around him. It was almost too much to bear.
The way she looked at him as he filled her up drove him crazy. He didn't just want to teach her how to control the force, he wanted to show her other things too.
And now, as he watched the rise and fall of her bare chest as she slept, he regretted all of it. He cursed himself over and over again for losing his control. He cursed her for doing this to him. And most of all, he cursed himself for continuing to lie there, feeling the invisible string that had somehow tethered him to her.
He could have done more. He could have went on for hours, teasing her and hearing her beg before driving her over the edge again and again. He would never get tired of the way that she became absolutely soaked for him. He could have made it hard for her to walk the next morning. At least he had tried to warn her... tried, in his own way, to ask permission. At least he had forced himself to stop where he did, before he had made a complete mess of her... that was something to be proud of, right?
He decided he would give himself the rest of the night, taking the time to memorize the curves of her body in the soft glow of the dim fire. Her legs entangled with his on the couch. And though he hadn't slept in days, he forced himself to stay awake. He knew very well that the only thing that would ever keep him company as he slept were his nightmares. He would never dream of sharing that vulnerability with another living person. He hated even to think that the stormtroopers patrolling the halls at night could hear him from his quarters, waking himself up with his own screams.
He rubbed small circles on her bare back as the night faded into the pale-yellow light of the morning. She looked so small and innocent curled up next to him, like a little dove tucked snugly into its nest.
He wasn't surprised when Hux busted through the door. He had heard his incessant whining from all the way down the hall. He admired how his little knight startled awake, scrambling to cover herself from the general and the troopers that flanked him. Kylo waved him off, and when the doors to the library slammed shut, he disentangled himself from her and rose off the couch in an attempt to find his clothing. She kept her arms over her chest as she watched him get dressed. He resisted the urge to pin her arms above her head and kiss her all the way from her perky chest down to the little self-destruct button between her thighs.
"Um, so, if we're going to do this, maybe we should do it somewhere more private?" She said, still embarrassed. She seemed to always end her statements with questions, never quite sure of herself. He would need to knock that out of her if he was going to harness her strength in the force for the First Order.
As he looked at her, he was faced with two options. The first was to pick her up off the couch and fuck her against the giant library windows, not giving a shit if anyone saw them from outside. The second option was to carry through with his resolution to cut her off, to stay away. He couldn't let her into his head anymore. For stars' sake, he had a prisoner waiting to be tortured. "We aren't going to do this. It was a momentary lapse in judgement."
He watched her mouth twitch, just slightly. He wanted to slip his tongue between her teeth. "But, well... I know you felt it. Last night, in the training room, in your quarters. Our energies coming together or something... I know you felt it too."
The invisible string. The hurricane of force signatures swirling together, bringing them closer. "I have no idea what you're talking about." Kylo fastened his belt and shrugged his shirt over his shoulders, buttoning the few buttons that had been left intact.
"Kylo-"
He shook his head, sighing in exasperation. This had to be over. "Look, I just wanted to fuck someone. I didn't know you'd get so attached to me. Obviously, this was an error in judgement."
Her bottom lip trembled, and he turned away, looking out the window at the horizon. What the hell was wrong with him? He had leveled an entire community, murdered hundreds of people, but now was the time he felt guilty? When he found his resolve, he turned back to her, stone faced. She glared up at him, her lip no longer trembling. She was back to the fiery girl that had slapped him the night before. "Okay, whatever. Just get out so I can get dressed then."
"We'll have to postpone your new training sessions until tomorrow. I'm too busy today." He walked to the doors and let them slam shut behind him, not bothering to wait for her response. If he had waited, he might have done something stupid—like apologize.
***
Interrogating the resistance pilot went about how Kylo had expected it to go. He went on with the same boring speech about how he'd never give up any information, claiming he would rather die first. Honestly, it was rather dull. Kylo had only let him babble on for a few minutes before simply reaching into his mind and taking what he wanted. He saw an orange and white BB unit with a chip placed in its exterior hard drive. He saw the droid heading east before the village was burnt to a crisp. It would be simple enough to find the droid, it was doubtful that anyone on Jakku owned something as pristine and intelligent.
Kylo immediately went to Snoke with the news, watching as his enormous holographic projection came into view. Of course, Snoke had also summoned Hux there to babysit.
"Glad you could finally join us today, Ren. And with clothing on, nonetheless." Hux sneered, smirking to himself.
Kylo ignored him, bending down on one knee. "Supreme Leader, the information we're looking for is being stored in a BB unit on Jakku."
"Interesting. Is there anything else?" The projection demanded.
"That was the only useful information being stored in the pilot's brain."
"Leave him alive for now, we may be able to use him in the future."
"Of course, Supreme Leader." Kylo lowered his head, glowering under his mask. Torturing the prisoner was going to be the highlight of his week, especially since he had resigned himself to part with his little knight.
"General Hux, deploy your top three units to Jakku and find this droid. Bring it back in working condition."
Kylo was on his feet before Hux had the chance to start kissing Snoke's ass. "Excuse me, Supreme Leader, but are you sure that stormtroopers can handle this kind of-"
"You heard me."
"Thank you, Supreme Leader. My units will not let you down." Hux boasted, practically puffing his chest as he turned and left the room proudly.
"You're too invested in this information. I can feel the conflict inside of you regarding your old master, and I will not allow your emotions to get in the way of my plans." Snoke narrowed his eyes at his young pupil.
Kylo felt a lump building in his throat. If they found the map to Luke and Kylo didn't get to personally see the light drain from his uncle's eyes, all of his work and sacrifice will have been for nothing. "So, what should I do then?" He seethed.
"Sit here and wait. Don't run off and act like a child. Don't send the Knights of Ren to Jakku. Just stay out of the way." Snoke had barely finished his sentence before his massive projection disappeared.
** You **
It was hard to forget last night, seeing as you ached between your thighs with each step. Kylo was right, it did hurt... but it also left you just short of begging him for more this morning. You had wanted to climb on top of him and feel his hands touching every part of you. The night before almost didn't seem real, the sight of him between your thighs, licking his shining lips. You had never come so hard in your life.
You had to forget it though. Forget him.
You had been sure that your master had felt the feverish spark between the two of you, drawing you together. He way he denied it this morning though... it made you doubt yourself. You felt like a complete idiot as you looked in the mirror, trying to cover the purple splotches on your neck with makeup. You did the best you could, but you were going to be late for your guard shift if you tried to perfect it anymore. Besides, your helmet would likely cover the marks anyway.
When you pulled the tight black pants of your uniform over your thighs, you noticed more small bruises where Kylo had wrenched your legs apart before thrusting himself inside of you. Fuck.
Don't think about it.
As you walked down the hall toward the interrogation chamber, you promised yourself that you would put Kylo out of your mind. Whether he had felt the connection between you or not, you wouldn't let him get to you like that again. You sensed that it gave him a sick sort of pleasure to watch you crumble under his touch. You were so, so stupid. Humiliated. You looked like a weak little fool. And worst of all, he probably wanted you to feel that way. You had always known he was a dick, so why had you let yourself forget? And for sex of all things. You felt your eyes getting misty as you rounded the corner at the end of a long hallway.
"Hey." You were pulled from your thoughts as you approached the door to the interrogation room. Vicrul was standing there in his armor, his lanky frame leaning casually against the wall. He held his scythe lazily, slowly dragging the tip of it back and forth on the polished black floor. You'd hate to be the prisoner in that room, watching this armor-clad man lying in wait for you.
"Hi." You held up your hand to wave as you approached, glad that Vicrul couldn't see your face under your mask. "Sorry I'm late."
He shrugged, nodding at the prisoner through the window of the door. "He isn't going anywhere."
You peered in, noticing a dark-haired man in an old leather jacket. The side of his face was covered in blood, and he laid strapped to the interrogation chair with his jaw slack and eyes closed. Kylo must have really done a number on him. "Wow, he looks like shit. Are you sure he's alive?"
"Master Ren just talked to him. Didn't you hear? He's a resistance pilot."
"Woah, really?" You stood on your toes as if that would help you get a better look through the glass.
"Yeah. Apparently, there's some droid on Jakku with a map to Luke Skywalker."
A shiver went down your spine. You hated how that name still affected you. "A map? Then why are we sitting here guarding this guy? Let's go to Jakku!" You exclaimed.
Vicrul only chuckled in response. A man of few words. He didn't actually need to answer, of course. Master Ren's orders.
You stood in silence for a while, manning your position on the other side of the hall. Vicrul remained patient and immobile while you passed the hilt of your lightsaber back and forth between your palms. You were never very good at staying still.
"C-can I ask you something?" You broke the silence hesitantly.
"Sure." Vicrul said, picking up his scythe and running a gloved finger along the blade slowly.
"Did you guys really think that I was that different from you?" You couldn't help it, you were still wondering if you could have done anything differently to help them warm up to you sooner. While you were glad for your new-found friendship, you wished it hadn't resulted from a full mental breakdown on your part. Maybe they all thought you were crazy now. It was hard to stop yourself from spiraling into these dark thoughts. Maybe that's why it had been so easy for you to submit to Kylo last night, just for a chance to forget for a while.
He took his time to formulate a response. "We honestly didn't know. We suspected that maybe you were here because someone had pulled some strings for you. All we knew is that Master Ren was very weary of you, and we could sense his uneasiness. Because of our bond, we were also uneasy in your presence." He said it so factually, no hint of emotion in his voice. He was honest because he had no reason to lie. The raw and hurting Vicrul you had seen the other day was gone, most likely for good. You didn't blame him.
"I'm sorry."
He chuckled again, though you couldn't hear a smile behind the sound. "For what?"
"For making you guys think badly of me. I hate knowing that you thought I was some kind of terrible person all this time."
"You don't need to apologize." Vicrul simply shrugged and looked in the window, checking on the motionless man strapped to the chair. You almost wished the prisoner would try to put up a fight to save you from a long and boring night.
You stared at your saber, not knowing what else to say to Vicrul. Although some of the walls between you and the knights had been broken recently, you still felt layers of thick concrete hovering between you. You couldn't even imagine their situation as kids, fighting for their lives while hovering on the brink of death. You wondered if Vicrul thought of those days often, and if that was why he was so pensive. If Cardo thought of his past often, he didn't show it. You preferred to imagine the alternative past you'd made up for him instead, working at a beachfront shop with an olive-skinned, green-eyed family.
Vicrul's low voice cut through the silence again. "Master Ren's attitude toward you has... changed somehow. We can feel it."
That got your attention. You hated the flutter that twinged in your stomach. "How so?" You did your best to keep your voice even and cool. After all, what did you care what Kylo thought of you?
"I don't really know. He just seems more open to you." He set his weapon gently on the floor then and looked down the hall. "Cardo's coming."
"Surprise!" Cardo rounded the corner, blaster in one hand and a metal tin from the cafeteria in the other. "Look at you losers stuck on guard duty." He smiled as he approached, waving the tin like a trophy.
"What, you brought us some shitty food? How thoughtful." Vicrul said as he took off his helmet. His dark eyebrows furrowed together as he looked at his brother skeptically. You didn't blame him, the colorless goop in the cafeteria wasn't exactly gourmet. But seeing as you had almost starved to death multiple times in your life, you really had no basis to complain.
"You know, we have a kitchen in the apartment." You pointed out. "You could always cook."
Both men stared at you blankly before bursting into laughter. You couldn't help but return a smile at the sound of their happiness. "You know, that might be the dumbest thing you've ever said." Cardo teased, setting his blaster down at his feet. "Seeing how I'm a great friend and all, I come bearing a rare and much coveted cuisine." He got down on one knee and made an exaggerated show of opening the metal tin.
You peered inside, and you immediately jumped back in surprise. "Cupcakes!" You shouted, your squeal echoing down the long hall.
"No fucking way." Vicrul said slowly, taking a look for himself. They were truly beautiful: yellow cupcakes frosted with chocolate icing and covered in white sprinkles. On Starkiller Base, dessert was an extra expense. A luxury. The First Order never spent time or money on such frivolous items.
You tore off your helmet before snatching a treat from the box. It tasted amazing. "Stars." You sighed as you savored the treat. Vicrul, on the other hand, ate his cupcake in two bites before quickly donning his helmet over his dark hair again.
Cardo kept his green eyes fixed on you as you licked a bit of icing from your thumb. "Thank you." You smiled at him, but became worried as his smile faded to a frown.
"Woah. What happened to your neck?" Shit.
He took a step toward you as you took a step backward. You covered the splotches with your hand, trying to wave it off. "Oh, nothing. I had to resume my training with Ky-, uh, Master Ren again this morning, and I got a little banged up." You felt your cheeks burning. You quickly picked your helmet up and shoved it roughly back on your head.
"That kind of looks like a serious bruise. Are you-"
"I'm fine." You snapped, taking back your position against the wall opposite Vicrul.
Cardo shrugged and let it go, much to your relief. You took comfort in the fact that they'd probably never believe you even if you did tell them the truth. The thought was almost comical.
"Well, you two try not to let this guy escape. He looks vicious." Cardo picked up his blaster and mock saluted the two of you before walking back down the hall.
The rest of the shift was spent mostly in silence. Although you now considered Vicrul somewhat of a friend, you didn't necessarily know how to bond with him. It would be much easier to run the training course or to go for a jog than to make small talk. With five minutes to go though, he broke the silence. "You know, Cardo never thought you were that different from us."
You remembered how he had wrapped his arm around you, steadying you as you walked down the long hallway after returning from Hoth, approaching Snoke. You remembered how he had drunkenly pulled you onto his lap on the Night Buzzard after going to the cantina. How he'd knocked on your door every day after your little episode. For some reason, you felt a twinge of guilt. "I know."
The next five minutes inched by. Finally, a stormtrooper rounded the corner. "FN2187 reporting for guard duty."
"Where is your watch partner?" Vicrul asked, running his finger along his blade again. He towered over the stormtrooper as the fear in the air became palpable.
"He's in the cafeteria grabbing a cupcake, Sir. He'll be right up." The man was practically shaking. You smirked, thinking he must be new.
Vicrul looked at you for confirmation and you shrugged, stepping aside for the trooper.
You had only managed to take your mask off and set it on your shared living room coffee table before the alarms went off. The room was filled with red light and blaring sirens announcing a code blue. As you and Vicrul made eye contact from across the room, you felt the blood drain from your face.
Code Blue.
Escaped Prisoner.
Neither of you hesitated before sprinting out of the apartment toward the hangar bay. When you got there, it was pure chaos.
Stormtroopers were firing relentlessly at a TIE Fighter that was still tethered to its dock. Several other Fighters were on fire or damaged, crumbled into the usually pristine floors. You and Vicrul didn't waste time before grabbing blasters and joining the line of fire. It was useless though, those ships were strong. The red blazes of the guns weren't even scratching the surface of the thick black metal. However, as soon as you fired your first shot, the gun of the TIE Fighter swirled around and obliterated the thick cord holding it to the dock.
The floor rumbled under your feet before you were thrown backward with the force of the explosion. As you were flying through the air, you managed to catch a glimpse of the TIE Fighter hurdling into space. You tried to force yourself off the floor and continue firing at the escaped prisoner, but you were barreled down again by the strength of the wind coming off of the other Fighters that were immediately deployed in response.
As soon as the wind died down, you got to your feet and scanned the room, looking for the other knights. You needed to pursue them in the Night Buzzard if you had any hope of bringing the pilot back to Kylo alive. Doctors from the med bay swarmed into the room like ants and began tending to the wounded stormtroopers while other workers hosed down the fire that blazed on the empty TIE Fighter dock. As soon as you spotted Vicrul, you both started heading toward the second hangar where your ship was waiting. Neither of you had managed but a few steps before being yanked backward and landing flat on your asses.
The commotion in the room immediately died to a deafening silence.
"What the fuck was that?" You looked up and saw your master standing above you, General Hux at his side. You could feel that Kylo was absolutely fuming.
Vicrul got to his feet immediately and ducked his head down in submission. "Master Ren, the prisoner-"
"I know about the fucking prisoner!" Kylo yelled. The huge room was dead quiet, all eyes locking on the leader that was exploding before them. You got up slowly, raising your hands up to surrender. "What the fuck where you two doing that you allowed this to happen?"
"Kylo-"
"Master Ren-" You and Vicrul started at the same time. However, you were cut off by Kylo grabbing Vicrul by the throat with the force and sending him hurdling across the room. He slammed into a steel container, the sound of his armor grating loudly against the metal. You screamed. You had never seen Kylo treat one of his knights so disrespectfully. They would never do anything to deliberately go against him, and he knew that.
Vicrul tried to stand up, but Kylo stopped him by holding out his gloved palm. The knight's hands flew to his throat, trying to rid himself of the invisible menace that was choking the life out of him. The other knights stood a good distance away, watching in silence. They would never stand in their master's way, even if he was hurting their bother.
You couldn't watch this. After all, you were the one who had let the trooper take the shift to guard the prisoner on his own. You lunged forward, pushing away Kylo's arm and breaking his force hold on poor Vicrul. "Kylo, stop! It's not his fault!"
Kylo shoved you away roughly, but otherwise ignored your outburst. He turned instead to Hux, who wore his usual smirk. "I can't wait until Snoke hears about this." Hux threatened.
"Find. That. Prisoner." Kylo spat at him.
"Master, should we prepare the Night Buzz-" Ushar stepped forward loyally, trying to make amends for the group of knights as a whole.
"No. Just make sure you do your goddamn job next time." He pushed passed Ushar and yelled at everyone in the room. "What the fuck are you looking at? Get back to work!" With that, he ignited his saber and stormed from the room, mostly likely on his way to destroy an entire wing of the base.