I don’t think I’d ever blushed as deep as I had in that moment. My face grew darker than a tomato. I choked on the piece of chicken in my mouth, slamming a hand against the table.
I could feel my throat constricting around it, trying to force it out. I coughed repeatedly in an attempt to force it out. I felt a hand on my back helping.
The chicken slide down further in my throat and into my stomach as Mom stood up worried.
“Are you ok, Joanna?” She asked cautiously
I nodded my face still red. Caden’s hand remained on my back, his eyes glittering with amusement. I glanced over at him, my face reddening once more.
“Are you sure, sweetie?” Mom checked.
“I’m fine” I muttered, sitting up more “Just choked on a piece of chicken”
Mom gave me a lingering glance of worry before settling back down. Caden moved his hand off my back, holding back laughter.
I stared down at my plate, my face still red.
“So anyways, Caden” Mom said, casting me once more glance.
“Uh, actually, Ms. Johnson, at the moment, I’m currently single” He said.
Thank God I didn’t have anything in my mouth or I would’ve choked again. I raised an eyebrow curiously, catching his eye. He smiled at me with a wink.
“Oh really?” Mom said, looking between us. “Joanna’s been hanging around this just awful boy lately”
“Mother!” I said angrily. I couldn’t stand when she talked about Jason like that. Especially since I was technically dating him now. “Do we really have to go through this again?”
“Look, sweetie, I know you may be friends with him, but he really isn’t all that great”
“Friends?” Caden questioned to me, raising an eyebrow “I heard otherwise”
Mom looked at me curiously “Yes, they’re just friends”
“But Joanna told me...” Caden trailed off, shaking his head “Never mind me, I must be mistaken.”
“No, no, please” Mom pushed “What did she tell you?”
“I was informed they were a couple” Caden said.
Mom dropped her fork. It clattered against the plate loudly, a silence filling the air. Mason noticed everyone’s stillness, looking around curiously.
Mom looked at me, “Is this true, Joanna?”
I froze, a death grip on my fork. I wished I could have a death grip around Caden’s neck. All three people were turned towards me. I glared at Caden, teeth gritted. He smirked at me, clearly enjoying my torture.
“I was going to tell you soon…” I said “But I never got the chance to”
Mom didn’t say anything. She picked up her plate and cup, setting it in the sink. She pulled Mason out of his chair, taking his dishes.
“Mason, go get ready for a bath” Mom ordered. It was only around six-thirty, but Mason didn’t protest. He could tell when his mother was furious.
Mom briskly pulled Mason out of the room.
I sighed, slumping back in my seat. “Thanks, Caden. Thanks a ton”
“I wasn’t aware your mother didn’t know about you and Jason” He smirked, his eyes telling a different story. He was a cruel boy.
“Get out of my house”
“What? No goodbye?”
I glared at him. I wasn’t in the mood for his humor. Caden stood up, pushing his chair in like the ‘perfect gentleman’ he was.
“See you tomorrow, Pumpkin” He said before walking out the door.
I groaned, my head falling onto the table. I could hear Mom struggling to give Mason his bath and get him ready for bed.
I waited down there, knowing it was better not to make her try and find me. I stayed in my spot, my head against the edge of the table when I heard the click of her heels walking down the stairs.
Mom walked into the kitchen, ignoring me, as she dumped the dishes into the sink from the table. I could hear the faucet running as she cleaned them, stacking them into the dish rack.
I waited patiently as Mom finished, neither of us talking. I regretted ever letting Caden take me home. I should’ve put up more of a fight. I shouldn’t have let him go to McDonald’s.
Mom turned off the faucet, walking over to me. She sat back down in her seat, to which I raised my head regretfully off the table.
“Care to explain?” She asked.
I sighed, quickly making a decision. I knew it would make her happy to know that I wasn’t actually dating Jason, but could she really keep the secret from Caden? But if she thought I really was, she’d put up more of a fight not to let me see him. And if she knew I wasn’t actually dating him, she’d want to know why I lied. I couldn’t tell her it was because I didn’t want to be used by Caden like he used every other girl. I didn’t want to bring her into my school life.
She’s my mother. The woman who carried me for nine months. She’s taken care of me for 15 years of my existence. As much as we don’t get along, she’s my mother
She’s my mother.
I repeated that phrase in my head again and again as she waited impatiently for me to answer across the table.
“Joanna? Any day now?” Mom asked.
She’s my mother
“Look, I’m not actually dating him.” I said truthfully “I lied to Caden and told him I was”
“Why would you do that to him?” Mom asked with a sigh of relief. “He hasn’t done anything to you for you to lie to him!”
I bit my lip, deciding to stop with the truth here “Caden and I were talking one night and he was talking about hanging out as a double date. I asked who would be mine and he said he’d hook me up with his friend, that I didn’t know. So I lied and said I had a boyfriend and Jason was the only one who I could think of.”
“Does Jason know about this?” Mom asked quietly, taking in my lie.
I nodded “Yes.”
“As much as I’m glad you’re not dating that scumbag” Mom said, earning an annoyed look from me “I don’t like the idea of you pretending to”
“Mom, we’re not kissing or anything” Yet, I thought to myself “He’s just hugging me and holding my hand to keep up a show when Caden’s around”
“I still don’t like the thought of that…”
“He’s my best friend, Mom, can you please get over the fact that he’s the son of your ex-husband’s girlfriend?” I begged “He hasn’t done a single thing to you, yet you hate him.”
“Caden hasn’t done anything to you”
That you know of.
“I just used that as an excuse” That was true, I did use Jason as an excuse for many things.
“Then pretend-break-up with him!”
“I can’t. Otherwise Caden will think I’m available to go on a date with his friend, that I don’t know”
She sighed, slumping down in her chair. Mom thought about our conversation for a moment before looking at me seriously “Are you being honest with me? You’re not actually dating him? He’s just an excuse?”
I nodded to the last to parts “Yes. You’re my mother, I’m going to tell you when I get a boyfriend for real.”
She gave a relieved smile “I trust you, baby-girl”
“Thanks” I said.
“Just, let me know about stuff like this that involves your heart”
I nodded. “Oh and mom?”
“Yes?”
“Can you keep this a secret?”
She nodded at me.
I stood up, walking out. I headed up to my room, wishing I had my phone with me to call Jason. I only trusted conversations with him on my own cell phone. Paranoia had me convinced that the people could hear our conversations if I called him on someone else’s phone.
I leaned back on my bed, sighing in happiness. It was good to know that I wasn’t actually in deep trouble.
~*~
The next day, Mom surprised me by ‘un-grounding’ me.
“Remember, Joanna, this is only so that you can call your father after school.” She warned, knowing I wouldn’t just do that.
“I wish you wouldn’t call him that.” I mumbled, gladly accepting it.
She sighed “I know, but he is your biological father”
“But not a father figure to me.”
“And you think Cody is?”
“No. I don’t think I have a father figure in my life”
She sighed, giving me a hug “I know, baby, and I’m sorry about that”
I shrugged away “Whatever. See you after school”
“Oh, hey, I won’t be home until 6”
“Why?”
“Mason’s got a doctor’s appointment at 4 so I’m going to pick him up from daycare” She explained.
“And that’ll last until six?”
“Well, I figured he’s going to get a shot, so I’d take him out to get McDonald’s. You’re welcome to come if you want…” She trailed off, hoping I’d say no.
“You know what? If its cool with you, I think I’ll see if I can just hang out with Kasey or someone tonight”
Mom nodded. “Just be back by nine”
I smiled, “Thanks”
I walked towards the door, backpack slung over my shoulder
“Don’t forget to call Chase!” Mom called as I closed the door.
I stop in my tracks outside of my house, eyes landing on the familiar car in the parking lot. A smirking face sat in the driver’s seat, waiting for me.
I ignored him, walking past to my bus stop.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Caden roll his eyes, backing out of his spot. As I walked along the side walk, the car drove quite slowly next to me. Caden rolled down the passenger window, leaning that way.
“Get in the car” He said
“I don’t want to”
“Joanna, just do it”
“No”
“Don’t make me force you” He said, grinned devilishly. I stopped in my tracks, hesitating. I knew it wouldn’t be good if the others at my stop saw Caden forcibly drag me into his car.
With a loud groan, I yanked open the door, getting into the seat.
Caden grinned triumphantly, driving at a much faster pace.
“What do you want?” I growled, crossing my arms.
“How’d the conversation go with your mother?” He asked “I can’t wait much longer to find out”
“I’m not telling you” I mumbled
Caden frowned “Seriously, Pumpkin”
“I’m being serious” I snapped “And enough with the ‘pumpkin’ shit!”
He rolled his eyes at the last part “Are you in a lot of trouble? I knew you two weren’t really dating”
“Mom just didn’t know”
“So you told her you were?” Caden asked
I didn’t answer, keeping silent.
“You lied to your mother?”
I didn’t lie much, I thought.
“Are you seriously giving me the silent treatment?”
I shrugged, looking the opposite way of him.
“You’re so immature, Pumpkin” Caden sighed, pulling into the school parking lot after a few moments of awkward silence.
I rolled my eyes getting out. Caden was at my side as I walked to my locker. Kasey wasn’t there today thankfully, but I knew she was dying to ask what happened between Caden and me.
We had arrived fairly early, the hallways deserted for the most part. Our footsteps were loud as we walked down, a good ten minutes before any buses would arrive. It was a rare moment to see my school hallways not packed with people. I had to admit, I preferred other people around to this empty space surrounding me.
Caden leaned against the other locker, looking at me. I ignored him for the most part, switching out books.
I slammed my locker shut, mimicking Caden’s position. He raised an eyebrow curiously to which I rolled my eyes, going to move away.
“Wait” Caden said, resting a hand on my waist. He moved so that he was standing in front of me. I shifted positions so that my back rested against the wall, looking up at Caden. He pressed his forehead against mine, eyes locking.
“I’m sorry I got you in trouble with your mother” He whispered quietly, his minty breath hitting my lips. He moved his hands to either side of my head, trapping me there.
I opened my mouth to say something but found no words coming out.
“And I’m sorry that you think I’m using you just because we kissed” He apologized. It sounded sincere.
“Twice” I corrected.
He smirked “You’re wrong”
I frowned “No I’m not. There was that time at my hallway when Mason saw and then last Friday night”
Caden pressed his lips against mine passionately. I gasped slightly as his tongue slid into my mouth. I moved my mouth with his, eyes falling shut quickly. I grabbed at the fabric of his shirt, pulling him towards me. I could feel Caden smirking into the kiss at my reaction.
His fingers hooked around my belt loops, pulling the front of my jeans towards him. That must’ve been something he found attractive for he did that a lot.
Caden pulled away too soon. I opened my eyes, looking into his. My breathing was panted, his shirt still trapped between my fingers.
At that realization, I snapped my fingers straight, letting go. Caden smirked at me, his eyes flickering down.
“That’s three now” He panted slightly “You were wrong”
I couldn’t speak, my lips partly opened. I looked back and forth between his eyes. Caden gave another smirk, his eyes flickering down again.
“Nice underwear” He teased.
My face reddened as I glanced down. His fingers were pulling the front of my jeans towards him, leaving a gap between them and my skin. I gasped, grabbing his wrists away from there.
“Don’t be embarrassed; it’s cute” He laughed, moving so that my fingers were interlocked with his.
“I don’t want you to see stuff like that” I mumbled, looking away.
“Stuff like what?” He said, holding back laughter.
“Embarrassing stuff”
“It’s cute, Pumpkin” He smiled genuinely. Caden brought our joined hands up, pressing the back of my hand against the locker.
I bit my lip, looking away still.
“Jason must be lucky” He muttered. Was there jealousy I detected in his voice?
My eyes widened at his name “Oh no. Oh no. No, no, no!”
“What?” Caden asked when I pulled away. I grabbed my back pack from the ground, slinging it onto my shoulders.
“I can’t believe I just did that to him again” I whispered. I wasn’t acting. I felt connected with Jason, and even though we weren’t technically dating, it still felt like cheating. And to Caden, it was. I looked at Caden, trying to push past the craziness I still felt from that last kiss
“Caden, stay away from me” I said, taking a few steps back.
“What are you talking about?” He asked
“Just, stay away” I said, hurriedly walking away from him. I pushed past the people in the now fairly crowded hallways, trying to get away from him. I ignored everyone surrounding me, walking straight through the doors.
The cold air hit my bare skin. I cursed at myself for wearing a t-shirt in this chilly weather. Winter was approaching quickly and I really needed to start wearing a jacket more often.
I pushed past the people walking into school, a feeling of claustrophobia settling in.
I kept walking, cutting through the football field to the gas station close by. I walked into the store, the warm air hitting my cold skin. Reaching into my pocket, I dug out six dollars.
I grabbed a cup of hot chocolate and a packet of processed donuts, paying for them. I walked back out to the cold, heading out back where no one from school would spot me.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket, dialing the number that I knew by heart.
“Hello?” The deep voice asked after three rings
“Chase?” I asked “It’s Joey”
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