What a peaceful day in Nekoma High
I wonder what kind of shit will go on today!
Kenma : *walks inside the club room*
Yamamoto : Kyanma, come here for a sec
Everyone except for Kuroo huddle
Yamamoto : what kind of surprise are we gonna put for Kuroo-san?
Yaku : why are suddenly caring about that rooster?
Kai : now now
•
He's our captain
Yaku : I wish you were the captain
Kai : I'm flattered but no
Lev : how about a cat that looks like him?
Kenma : that would be impossible
Lev : nothing is impossible if you are Haiba Lev, the ace of Nekoma
Yamamoto : you tryin' to steal my position, buddy?
Shibayama : how about something he really cares about?
Inuoka : you mean Kenma?
Kenma : no
Yamamoto : but–
Kenma : no
Yamamoto : but, Kenma–
Kenma : no
Yaku : I know
•
And it involves moms
Fukunaga : oh no...
5 minutes later
Yaku : *dialing*
Akaashi : hello?
Yaku : Akaashi, my fellow mom
•
Today's Kuroo's birthday and I wanted to ask you
Akaashi : hold up
•
I know what you mean
Yaku : yes, bring the horned owl bastard
After practice
Kai : Kuroo, would you please go inside the club room. We have a surprise for you there
Kuroo : oh really?
*walks to club room*
•
Nothing's here... did they tricked me?
•
Nah, I'll wait on this oddly placed chair.
•
*sleeps*
Bokuto : HEY HEY HEY
Yaku : shut up! It's a surprise, remember?
Bokuto : oh yea
•
Where is he?
Kai : inside the club room
Bokuto : I'll go there instead
Yaku : Bokuto-san, NO—
Bokuto : I wonder what Kuroobro is up to
*opens the door*
Hmm?
•
What is he doing?
Kuroo : *snoring*
Bokuto : I'm going to surprise him!
*covers Kuroo's eyes*
Guess who?
Kuroo, wakes up : oh fuck, who can it be?
•
Judging by how there's no ring on that finger. It must be Yaku!
Bokuto : you keep joking around and I'm going to break your neck
Kuroo : of course, I'm joking!
Bokuto : okay then, it's time for you to guess!
Kuroo : .........
Bokuto : bro are you sleeping?
Kuroo : whoops! I dozed off for a sec
•
I've been so tired lately~
Bokuto : time to answer the question
Kuroo : what was the question?
Bokuto : quit joking around, guess who I am
Kuroo : what do you guess who you are~
•
You're my beloved
Bokuto : look at this bitch being a smartass
Kuroo : babe, please take your hands off now
•
You're gonna pluck my eyeballs out
Bokuto : babe who?
Kuroo : you're being silly~
•
Who else would my baby be?
Bokuto : shut up and say my name
Kuroo : ...
•
I want to go back to practice
Bokuto : there's no such thing
Kuroo : do you actually think I don't know?
Bokuto : quit playing games, bitch
Kuroo : are you doubting me right now?
Bokuto : is saying my name so hard?
Kuroo : your name is not the issue
•
This is an issue of trust!
Bokuto : fine, let's see how far this goes
•
I bet my left thumb that you don't know my name
•
What are you betting?
Kuroo : ...
•
You sure you wanna take this far?
Bokuto : you scurred
Kuroo : I'm not the one who's scared, you are!
Bokuto, deeper voice : Hahahahaa
•
Look at this sly son of a bitch
Kuroo : I'm giving you one last chance
•
Take your hands off, now
Bokuto : I give the last chance, not you
Kuroo : there's no going back from this
•
Are you saying that doesn't matter?
Bokuto : damn straight, that's what I wanted
•
One of us gonna bite the dust today
Kuroo : we say the name of the place we had our first kiss on 3
Bokuto, deeper voice : ahaaaaahahahahahah
•
Is that all you've got, son? You adorable little shit
Kuroo : go die if you're scurred
Bokuto : shut your mouth and let's begin
...
Kuroo : one
Bokuto : two
Kuroo : ...
Bokuto : are you praying?
Kuroo : ...
•
Before you kill me let me say my final words
Bokuto : go
Kuroo : your hands gotten really rough
•
Kenma
Bokuto : *a tear falls down his face*
•
Wrong answer, mothefucker
*snaps Kuroo's neck*
Kuroo : *dead*
Bokuto : *cries in the corner*
Back at the gym
Yaku : what's taking him so long?
•
Y'know, let's just go there ourselves
The team walks to the club room with the party decor and opens the door
Team : Surprise—!!
•
*sees Kuroo's corpse*
Yaku : what the fuck did you do?!
Bokuto : Akaashi, Kuroobro doesn't know my name
Akaashi : Bokuto-san, he's probably messing with you and snapping people's necks are wrong
Bokuto : I'm sorry
Inuoka : so no party?
Shibayama : I guess so?
Yaku : let's all go home, we'll take care of that body later
Happy (late) Birthday Kuroo!!
Fun Fact :
His birthday is the same day that my best friend's birthday and my birthday is the same as Onaga's (from Fukurodani) birthday