"Mamma..." I mumble, staring at her like she's some kind of ghost, searching behind her and expecting more surprises.
Maybe my dad, maybe Enzo. My heart races faster with each second passing by, having my mom right in front of my eyes glaring at me with so much kindness.
"Hi, sweetheart," she says shyly, walking in one step to pull me into a warm hug.
I wrap my arms around her neck and hold her tight, so tight that I can feel her breath hitching.
Seeing her in front of me makes me realize just how much I've missed my mom and how much I'm really missing dad.
Gathering her powers and encouraged by my hug, she bursts into a spree of kisses all over my face, caressing my hair and pushing it back behind my ears.
"Let me see you," she says, her green eyes pooling in tears. "You look beautiful, my baby," she speaks and hugs me again.
"Becks?" I hear aunt Feli in my back and we both turn around facing a shocked Feli and an oblivious Emillia, standing next to her aunt and holding hands, never missing the damn lollipop from her left hand, still busying herself with the candy, wearing a new clean pinkish dress.
"Feli..." mom says and walks in, passing by me and curling her arms around her neck.
They hug each other long, like ten years of missing each other long, and they shed tears while I feel Jason coming next to me, one of his arms wrapping protectively around my waist, and I can feel his muscles stiffing.
"What's going on?" he whispers in my ear, pressing his chest on my back, making sure he has me close enough in case he needs to fetch me and run.
Where's mom, definitely there's dad as well. And Jason knows that.
"I guess I'm not hiding anymore," I mumble with a sigh, still in awe for having my mom, flesh, and bones in front of me, whispering things with aunt Feli.
"You look good, Becks," aunt Feli says when they are done hugging and kissing.
"Thank you. You're shining like always," mom replies, and I feel a small arm wrapping around my leg.
Looking down, I see Emillia glued to my left leg, looking at the two women in front of us, me, still in shock and her completely detached.
"Your mamma is beautiful," she says, and I bend over to lift her on my right hip, her short arms barely curling around my neck.
"She is, isn't she?" I say proudly and meet mom's eyes again, swimming in more tears now, looking at me as if I'm her entire world.
She walks back to me, cupping my cheek with one hand.
"It suits you so well, sweetheart," she says, and I'm pretty sure she speaks about me holding Emillia in my arms. "And who this little angel might be?" mom asks, pinching Emilia's cheek.
"I'm Emillia," she replies, popping out the candy from her mouth.
"Oh, so you're Emillia," mom says, a beaming smile blooming on her face, telling me she knows who she is.
"You're beautiful," Emillia continues.
"Oh, not as beautiful as you are, angel," mom replies and Emillia stretches her lips in a wide smile, enjoying the compliments she gets.
I have to admit the kid knows how to melt hearts.
"Jason, so good to see you," mom greets him and gives him a short hug as well.
"Good to see you too, Mrs. Tate," he says, still searching around for some more surprises.
"Oh, stop staring around like that, Jason. I came alone. Lucas is not with me," she says, pocking his chest playfully.
"And still here we are, thinking he's not like the stamp glued to the postcard," aunty Feli jokes and walks to us.
"Feli..." mom scolds her.
"What? Isn't it true?" aunt Feli replies, rolling her eyes and pulling us all inside, closing the front door. "Let's get in. Becks, you came right on time. Lunch is ready."
"Look at our house shining," I hear Massimo saying while walking in with a bright smile, carrying some groceries bags with him.
"Massimo..." mom says, standing up from the sofa in the living where we are all sitting.
"Good to see you, girl. Did you come for your gem? I hope you'll not take her just yet. It's wonderful to have her around," he says, walking closer to us and taking his share of welcoming, while mom sits back next to me after tightly hugging Massimo and wrapping me with her arms Again.
Aunt Feli and Massimo never had children, and that's how I knew he really meant it.
"Not at all, Massimo. The weather here is wonderful. The sun is good for Eve and her baby," she drops the bomb right in our noses, looking into my wide, scared eyes.
"Mamma..." I barely breathe out, cupping my belly with my hand, completely astonished by mom knowing about me being pregnant.
"Did you think I wouldn't see it the moment I laid my eyes on you?" she angelically asks, sitting closer to me and cupping my face in her hands, both of our eyes pooling in tears.
"Ms. Tate..." Jason tries to say, clearing his throat.
"Jason, I'm so grateful to you for taking care of my girl. But you can't keep a mother away," mom says and I melt at her chest, feeling a heavy load off of my chest and the soft, loving kisses of my mother spread on my forehead.
We spoke about everything and anything during lunch, aunt Feli and mom laughing and talking about times when mom was here, way before I was born, as I could understand.
Just like I always like to do, I keep quiet during lunch, enjoying the mouthwatering pasta of my aunt and looking around the table, at the wonderful people I have with me and my mom, who has traveled nowhere without my dad but who is now sitting in front of me, alone, thousands of miles away from him, just to be with me.
She refused to take a rest, she said she lost too much time not being with me and she was so happy to be here that she won't be able to close an eye.
"Mamma," I call her while we are sitting out on the patio.
"Yes, sweetheart," she replies, holding me to her chest, one hand caressing my hair and the other one laying flat on my belly.
"Does dad know where I am?" I ask in a whisper.
"We all knew where you were, sweetie," she replies.
"And Enzo?"
"Well, he knew where you were even before you landed, Eve. But your father had him swear he wouldn't come close to you till you decided to go back to him by yourself."
"Dad knows?" I ask, pulling myself up and looking fearfully into her beautiful, smiling eyes.
"Of course, he knows, Eveline. He is your father, and he loves you very much. And he's suffering a lot, baby," she says, making me sigh, guilt shattering my heart.
"I'm so sorry, Mamma. I'm sorry for leaving like that but..."
"It's okay, sweetie. It's okay to break sometimes," she replies, playing with my hair, soothing my broken heart even though I'm sure I don't deserve it.
"So, tell me. When is the grand opening of your restaurant?" she asks, changing the subject and pulling us out of our moment and I clear my throat, swallowing the tears I have coming.
"Well, it's actually next week. Jason says it's better now that we've moved to my new house, so I guess..."
"I'd like to stay, Eve. If you want me to," mom says, stopping my bubbling and I snap my eyes to her, the air freezing in her chest while waiting for my reply.
"Mamma..." I start, wanting to tell her I would love to, even though I know it will be hard for her to be far from my dad and my dad will go crazy without her, but I need mom with me.
"Enzo was my... moment of... being lost," she declares completely out of the blue and I suck sharply air, blocking it somewhere in my throat realizing that I want, or I don't want, this is the moment I'm going to find out what has been between the two of them.
"Mamma, I don't want to..." I try to protest, but she wouldn't have it.
"There was a time when your father was... not so carrying. And I left him," she continues, ignoring my refusal to listen and I realize I have no choice but to listen.
"That was the time I met Enzo. He tried to help me, he brought me here, and I thought I could start new, I thought I could forget your father. I ran away, just like you did, but... Enzo knew I had always belonged to your father, and he let me go back one day. And when the danger came around your father, because of me, and when I thought I had lost your father, Enzo risked his life to save him," she keeps talking, tears springing out of her eyes and her hands trembling, holding mine.
I stare back at her, the weight of her story hanging on my neck like stones, stopping my breath and clenching my fingers around her hand.
I'm struggling between the love I have for my mom and the one rooted in my heart for Enzo.
I wish I can be jealous, I wish I can get angry and release the insecurity that has gathered in me over the past months. I wish I can shout and demand to be left alone because... the weight of being compared with the one who has been my model in life is too heavy and I feel I can't bear it.
"And then they both disappeared. For four years. We all thought they were dead, and the only light in my life was you. And when your father and Enzo came back, it felt like I was born again," she says and by now we both have our cheeks washed in tears.
"Your father has been my every breath and Enzo has been that heartfelt friend that has made me and your father possible again. We owe him greatly. And I'm not saying this to push you back to him. I'm telling you this because I know he loves you. Not like he loved me, no. He loves you greater than that and... it seems he has no problem with bad blood between him and your father... for you."
"What? No..."
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. You know how strict your father can be... a very possessive man, but he's a good man. And he's really trying to adjust to the situation. He's doing his very best. He loves you so much, Eveline," she continues, squeezing my hands in the assurance of her words.
"I know, Mamma, but..."
"You asked for time, Eveline. Now your father needs time. He'll come around, he cares for Enzo but... I guess some wounds never really heal," she completes, and her eyes fall on her hands, fingers fidgeting around each other, and she pants loudly.
I'm short of words. I know both mom and dad had their fair share of mistakes and bad decisions and regrets in their past and I also know that the history between mom and Enzo should not stand in our way and that I should never judge Enzo for his past.
But his past is standing in our way or rather sitting right in front of me, very well alive, breathing and looking at me with those big green eyes, asking for forgiveness.
"Mamma, Enzo is the father of my baby," I tell her, and it felt so good, so relieving, the air suddenly feels so fresh, so good for breathing because I feel that what I have with Enzo is so much greater than what my mother has ever had.
Is it crazy? Am I insane? Do I love Enzo so much that I need to have extra insurance that I'm his most important, or is it just me being stubborn and possessive?
Possessive? Do I take after my father that much?
I look at my mother's face, and she doesn't seem surprised at all.
On contrary, the light in her eyes is softer and her smile is warmer, emotions crossing her face as tears fall from her green big eyes as a fat mountain drew in spring mornings.
"He'll be a wonderful father," she says and stands up, lifting me with herself and wrapping me in a strong, warm hug.
*****
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