CHAPTER 23 - "RONALD KNOX RETURNS"
Ronald Knox considered himself the atypical lounge lizard when he wasn't working, and he liked to play games, too. So when other Reapers called him a Man-Child, an adult who acted like a child, he just slumped it off. But they were essentially correct. Although, he could be serious if called upon. He just took things in stride. There was enough to worry about in this world than being a grumpy goose about it, like a certain someone he knew - the Head of Reaper Affairs, William T. Spears, who never stopped frowning, and who never ceased in presenting a straight and narrow approach to Reapering. It was like William was born, not with a chip on his shoulder, but with a stick up a certain body orifice and it was wedged in tight, his butt cheeks clenched, so if anyone wished to remove it, he absolutely denied them.
There were two philosophies to Reapers: First: Were they alive or were they dead? and Two: Could they be both? This was Reaper Philosophy 101, and the answer was Yes. To both questions. Reapers were both dead and alive at the same time, as they traveled across the Astral Plain - an energy barrier intersecting realms and plains of existence - to collect souls to bring back for processing. It was a thankless job, but someone had to do it, or there would be just as many spirits running around in the world that there were people, and it was already very crowded with just the living. Albeit, there were still quite a lot of spirits roaming the world that still had to be collected, and Reapers could not be everywhere. But he never thought about it. He just did his job, did what he was told, and went where he was told. He let Processing worry about them and if he was ordered to receive a Wanderer, as they were called, he did.
As of this moment, this shift was officially over. Due to a scheduling error, he had to work a seventy-two hour shift and he didn't like that. And he was very busy. But in truth, if an emergency happened, a Reaper could be upon at any time. So did Reapers really have time off? Only if they officially requested it and file the documents for such in triplicate and then have it signed by their superior, a.k.a. Mr. Sunshine, as he jokingly called William. But never to his face. To call your supervisor something other than his official title was subordination and you could get docked for that or demoted for that, or even worse. And if you engaged in something beyond Reaper duties, or caused a major incident, you could even be relieved of your duties, or worse.
There was a lot of talk about Fallen Reapers lately since the incident considering three and a demon and a couple of humans months back. The Fallen Reapers were defeated, but only one was captured - by him, and he boasted about it every chance he got. The other two, well, he shivered to think about how they were "enjoying" Hell. The Fallen Reaper known as Mathu Kelvin joining with another was dragged into Hell after a powerful encounter with a demon in the human realm, called Sebastian Michaelis, who presently had a Faustian covenant with a human, a thirteen year old English boy named Ciel Phantomhive. Boy, that kid had it rough. To loose both his parents and his twin brother to a nefarious group of people bent on personal fancy and communication demonic forces, only to have their fortune reversed; then to have his brother return, only to almost loose him to a trio of Fallen Reapers who wished to retrieve something stored deep inside the boy's mind, which, if retrieved, would be so dramatic, it could cause the boy's death. It was only thanks to the strong covenant between Ciel Phantomhive that Lukas Phantomhive was spared.
But once again, that was a human affair. And Reapers rarely got involved in those. Although, there have been some occurrences where Reapers engaged in sinister undertakings in human endeavors. And by this fact, everyone knew about Grell Sutcliffe, the so-called serial killer of prostitutes in White Chapel in London nicknamed Jack the Ripper, along with a human female, who remarkably turned out to be Ciel Phantomhive's aunt. Now there was a twist in plot developments. Who would have thunk that? And yet, there were rumors the cause of much of Ciel Phantomhive, and much of his family's misfortune, was from a certain blue gem - the Hope Diamond, which was said to be cursed and to curse anyone who possessed it or wore it, and the boy wore this diamond embedded in a ring on a daily bases, as if it were a part of his anatomy. It was all so crazy.
He opened the door to his apartment and sighed relief that he was finally home. His home was in a building, in the heart of Reaperdem Metropolis, an urbanized city were Reapers could be close to Headquarters. Although, with a wink, they could travel hundred or even thousands of kilometers of distance in a second if need be. It wouldn't have made a difference were he lived, he loved the bustle of city life and its many facets. He was a socialite and a gamester, and much of what the human world had, Reapers had, and more. Reapers just had a lot more imagination, and humans were kind of dry with their games and activities.
He jumped and landed haphazardly on a large, black leather couch, plopping his bum on the soft cushion and loosened his tie, opening up two buttons of his shirt. The couch was facing a large window overlooking Reaperdem Metropolis. The view was epic and astonishing, and he was lucky to find a place like this. But if he ever wanted privacy, he could always made it into a solid wall. That was the best thing about having special powers, you could do next to anything, like bend the laws of physics or time travel or cross through space/time barriers, with authority of course. To do so without permission would violate policy. And in being a Reaper, there are many rules to follow. That's why being a Reaper was considered a responsibility in its own rite, and only a certain person who had the right moral ethics and proper mental stability could be one. And yet, that trio of Fallen Reapers had both, until they decided to play god with human beings, that eventually ended with cataclysmic results, destroying an entire civilization: Atlantis.
He recalled his shift. He had had collected seven "playful" spirits who refused to leave the human realm and enjoyed haunting people to the point of scaring them to near death. Humans called these playful spirits "Poltergeist's"; the word "poltern" coming from the German word: "to make noise", and the word Geist: "ghost". Put them together: Polter n geist, "noisy spirit". It was fitting actually, but they were still Wanderers, according to Reaper records.
Next he collected two lovers who just refused to cross-over because they were so distraught over what they had done, in committing suicide because their parents wouldn't let them be together - they thought in death they would be but as ghosts they would never be, much like Romeo and Juliet in that Shakespearean play - they refused to leave because they believed they had committed what biblical lore said was "the ultimate sin" and thought they deserved to suffer in sorrow for all eternality.
But it didn't work like that. All ghosts were collected for processing. Where they went afterwards was up to the Great Council or "Decisioners", who made many of the important decisions on spirit destinations. The irony of it was, as many humans believed, God didn't make those decisions, he was much too busy for trivial things, so that's why He created Reapers, as go-betweens, so He could work on the bigger stuff, like holding the universe together from opposing cosmic forces - colossal stuff like that!
Lastly, he was ordered to retrieve some sadistic, but poor bastard, who had his manhood bitten off by a fellow human in the act of homoerotica coitus. After investigation, it was learned the man's own brother did this to him in revenge for the sins he had committed against his younger sibling, and also, his brother was being possessed by a demon at the time, by a powerful demon who was building an army. This again was not his affair, but it had to be reported to the higher-ups, namely his supervisor, William. What he did with the information was none of his concern, but Knox did feel sorrow for the guy, who, when he had come to collect him, burst out in wails of tears for his transgressions in life, especially against his little brother. Most spirits get sentimental and apologetic when they learn their human life is gone, but life is life, and what a human does with theirs is up to them - whether they wish to waste its gift or bask in its blessings.
Knox recalled the name of this ghost: Thann Von Strauss, son of a wealthy business man who dealt in the imports/exports of leather goods. The man's body was found sprawled out on the floor of some gloomy looking circular room, walls painted black, and he was utterly saturated in his own blood. And when he stood before Thann Von Strauss's spirit, file folder in hand, the man begged him for one more chance, to make things right. Knox remembered denying his request, although with permission, he could grant it in an instant. But Reapers would have to explain why they restored a life. And it was a complicated process. Not restoring life, but filling out the paper work.
Now, if a Reaper had caused the accidental death of a human while collecting a spirit, then there were certain special circumstances to restore that person to the living. The request would still have to go through processing and a decision made and it could take sometimes months. Processing had a long line to deal with and most of the tellers took tea drinks doing the busiest hours, so the lines were always long. This, however, was not a special circumstance. But, a dangerous demon was loose in the world and causing havoc.
Let William deal with it, I'm off the clock, he decided.
On a large, flat, transparent screen on a far wall in this room, he used telepathy to switch on RNN - the Reaper News Network, where all the latest news in Reaperdem was broadcast in Cinevision, but he muted the sound. The anchor was a real wallflower and spoke with an uninterested tone, as if he hated his job. But he had had the job for nearly two centuries, so Knox could understand the man's mind numbing boredom with it. There were times, he found being a Reaper boring, but he needed a job - Reapers had expenses, and this is how he was able to afford his apartment, and the lavish furnishings within.
And working was the only way he was able to rebuild his Deathscythe, that that Mathu Kelvin, that damn Fallen Reaper, blew-up during his encounter with at the Phantomhive estate. He managed to transfer the FR known as Ironstadt to processing just before his Deathscythe was destroyed, but he took flak from other Reapers for allowing a Fallen Reaper, albeit a very powerful one, to destroy it. And William deducted him two demerit points for getting involved in the human affair. The amount of points you gather indicates the level in which you can advance to a higher level paying position. Which over the last couple of months, he managed to get back on par again. Grell Sutcliffe, who was already on thin ice, got the same, but no further punishment for a gross breach of the policy was forthcoming. And that was fine with him.
But in light of the FR situation, William felt it prudent to initialize a new department to deal with Fallen Reapers in the field, to suppress their natural powers. FR's still kept their powers, although they didn't have bodies, left to float aimlessly for all eternity for their criminal transgressions in the Reaperdem, and there was quite a few thousand of them, and after this incident with human possession, it was feared more FR's would attempt to inhabit human bodies and "live" again, and if that happened, there would be more incident's like at the Phantomhive estate. William didn't want that, so he created a task force and a new department called Reaper X to hunt down the FR's and bring them in, suppress their powers somehow, and then release them again so they would not be a threat.
After the incident, sympathizers to these Fallen Reapers were apprehended and punishment issued, and they were the first to have their natural powers suppressed and their bodies stripped from them, to be left floating aimlessly for all eternity. It was a very harsh punishment, Knox thought, but order must be maintained or chaos reigned, and this was a very surefire way to maintain loyalty, as well. Fear was the ultimate control mechanism and it worked 99% of the time, no two ways about it.
Like said before, the Reaperdem could create things beyond human comprehension at this time in history, and when Knox clapped his hands twice, the entire room he was in boomed with heavy, sadistic music, played by one of his favorite Reaper bands: "The Sadistic 5". Everyone had interests and he like games and music. He mostly listened to this music to drift away from the realities of his job. It helped him to relax and recup, and after a seventy-two hour shift, he was due for some rest. The music moved him and he jumped up and started to air play one of the band's instruments, moving his hands in fluent, but a swift motion, his two-tone blond/black hair bouncing up and down, back and forth - accidentally forgetting he was still wearing his Reaper glasses. And they flew off his face and landed on the floor, one piece snapping off.
He cursed at his stupidity, clapped off the music, and quickly picked his glasses off the floor. He tried to put the piece back, but they were unfixable. If your glasses got damaged, you filed a report and put them in for repair. But few Reapers filed these reports because they looked after their glasses. If William saw this, he'd have a fit and lecture him on the importance of always to be mindful of your glasses. Reaper glasses were not only a fashion statement, but a status symbol.
And they looked good on him. But now one piece had broken off. He could still wear them, but they only settled on the bridge of his nose and one ear. And he had already filed his reports on his spirit collection for the last three days, and no where did he mention his glasses were damaged. Maybe he can claim he forgot to mention about his glasses?
Yeah right, no Reaper would "forget" such an important detail, he thought.
At that startling moment, a small, glass cube tinged with a bluish color sitting on a table next to his leather couch, dinged three times. Awwww maaaan! C'mon! I just got in! And of all the times! It could only be one person calling him. He didn't want to answer it, but he knew he had to and slammed a little too hard on its top in answer, and a blue, translucent, life-size projection of William flashed from its core receptor and appeared before him. He could see RNN in the background.
"Boss, what's up?" he said, trying to act cheerfully. He had his glasses on, but he hoped William didn't notice they were broken. Unfortunately, they slipped off his face and to the floor. "Um," he smiled nervously, "they're got broke during my last mission…"
"Interesting," William said, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. He just happened to have file folder in his hand and he sifted through the contents. "No report your submitted in your mission log indicate any such damage occurred. Therefore, I must conclude you are being deception, again. What is it this time, band solo?"
"What are you - a mind reader?"
"No, I am merely being observant. Your undignified dress attire tells me you attempted to relax after a clinical error had you work for seventy-two hours straight and it is obvious you forgot you were wearing your glasses and they fell off."
"Yes, and whose blunder was that?"
William cleared his throat. "The fault is with Scheduling. Take it up with them."
"I shall, and I'll also ask for some serious overtime pay."
"You are entailed to it, but I contacted you on another matter. You presence is needed in the field."
Knox gasped shocked. "Pardon? William, I just worked seventy-two hours! This is against the labor laws. I'll file a complaint with Reaper Resources. You can't have me work another shift."
"For which I will read and take whatever you remark under consideration. But to save on further quarrelsome discussion, one of the souls you recently collected has escaped Processing. Since he was retrieved on one of your missions, it is your duty to recapture him."
"My duty?" Knox felt like he was about to scream, but then he snorted and composed himself. To shout at William would be like yelling at a brick wall. "Escaped, how?"
"Elusively," William said.
Knox frowned. "That's not much help, sir."
"All details can be collected from Information when you arrive back to headquarters."
Knox folded his arms across his chest in a snooty posture. "No rest for the wicked," he said.
"Indeed, and a new pair of glasses will be waiting for you when you arrive. Your size is on file. They will be charged to your account." A small smile broadened William's face, if you could call it that.
Knox rolled his eyes, and said, "Wonderful. So, who's the escapee?"
"Thann Von Strauss."