** ANGST WARNING **
His eyes squinted open as the sunlight passed through their bedroom window, lightly making the cream satin curtains glow as it danced along with the gentle breeze that blew past the open window and tickled his skin gently. The faint chirping of birds that flew past was the first thing his ears heard as he felt snuggled and cozy under the warmth his bed was giving him.
Any other day, he would've watched the birds flying past their house with a smile, any other day he would've kicked the duvets off of him and admired the beautiful sunny morning, any other day he would've smiled as he feels the morning breeze caress his skin and give his messy hair a gentle comb.
But... this wasn't like those other days.
Despite the lively vibe the morning was giving, he felt so gloomy.
Despite the brightness the sun was giving, he felt like everything was colorless.
Despite feeling loved and full at the very beautiful sight mother nature was giving him...
Why does he feel so... empty?
He didn't know how long had he been lying in bed. Time-- for him-- felt like it was incredibly slow as every time he wakes up feeling like he did not get the amount of sleep his body needed, even though every clock in their house and his husband assured that he did.
"Izuku...? Baby, are you awake?" the voice of his husband called.
Feeling like he was lying on honey, Izuku slowly turned to look at Shouto who was standing by the door-- still holding the doorknob.
"Hey..." Shouto greeted with a smile that did not reach his eyes. "Good morning,"
Any other day, Izuku would've smiled and greeted him back. He would've giggled at how goofy Shouto looked with a heart-patterned apron he was wearing and would've teased him and they would start the day with their house filled with laughter and loving kisses he and his husband would share...
But... this wasn't like those days.
Today was a few days after the dreaded accident he had been on that destroyed his happiness and his life...
He had lost count of how many times he watched the sun rising and setting down but he knew that it had been exactly fourteen days since he woke up at the hospital after helping a woman that turned out to be a pick-pocket thief that had stabbed him when he least expected her to.
It had been fourteen days since he woke up and finding out that the child he had been bearing for nearly two weeks had died at his stupid and poor attempt to save someone who was falsely asking for help.
It had been fourteen days since he woke up, only to wish that he hadn't when the devastating news got to him.
It had been fourteen days of him feeling empty and blaming himself for what happened.
It had been fourteen days... and counting.
Izuku felt the side of the bed moved before warm hands caressed his hair gently. "I made your favorite All Might-shaped waffles," Shouto said, "You want me to bring it here so you can eat and take your medicine?"
Izuku felt like his head was underwater-- a constant buzzing went on inside his head that he could barely hear anything. But he saw the worry and concern in Shouto's eyes that he understood-- he had barely eaten anything in those fourteen days, only taking a bite or two before heading on to the bed to sleep all day.
He knew that Shouto was worried about him letting himself go, but he couldn't bring himself to care.
"Izu..." Shouto sighed silently. "Baby... Y-you have to eat something to keep your strength. Any more of this and we'd have to force-feed you through a tube,"
Izuku wished Shouto would stop with the nagging. It was making his head hurt and the noise inside his head was starting to become worse everytime Shouto starts talking about his health and how it was bad for him to continue this habit. Could his husband not see that he didn't care anymore? That it was okay for him to be like this? That this was the only way to remove the guilty feeling he has? That it was okay for him to die when he had no other reason to live anymore?
Izuku wanted to speak up, he wanted to push Shouto away, to tell him to back off and to let him be and to leave him alone because he didn't receive this kind of affection or care from him nor form anyone, not when it was his fault that he lost their child.
Shouto sighed. "Izuku..."
But his husband did not get any response from him and Shouto decided that today, too, was the day that Izuku wasn't going to cooperate.
Sighing once more, he leaned over and planted a gentle kiss on Izuku's head before pulling the duvets over his husband's shoulders. "I'll go clean up the kitchen," he whispered before turning and exiting the room, closing the door as gently as his tears started streaming down his face the moment he saw the lifelessness in Izuku's eyes.
***
"Why are you sulking, Todoroki? We're here to unwind remember?"
Shouto snapped out of his musings to see a half blushing Denki Kaminari invading his personal space with a goofy smile, his breath smelling booze every time he exhales that made Shouto back away a bit.
"Denki, you're scaring him," Denki's alpha boyfriend, Hitoshi Shinsou, said as he pulled his partner back to sit down while the blonde giggled.
"Jeez, Aizawa-junior, keep your charger of a boyfriend at bay," A clear grumble came from one of Shouto's friend, Katsuki Bakugo.
"It's like you don't know Kaminari, Katsuki," Katsuki's omega boyfriend, Eijiro Kirishima, said with a laugh before downing his drink.
"Shut up and order us more drinks, Shitty Hair," Katsuki snapped which made Eijiro pout.
"Hey, I'm not a server-girl you could boss around," the redhead complained.
Katsuki made a low growl in his throat before leaning over to Eijiro's ear and whisper something only the redhead heard, before Eijiro's ears started to go red as his eyes widened before meekly nodding at the smirking blonde alpha and excused himself to go get drinks.
"Get a room," Hitoshi mumbled, rolling his eyes as he downed his drink-- Denki sleepily swaying next to him as he got in sync with the beat of the music the club was playing.
"How about you get a room for your drunk-ass boyfriend?" Katsuki said, pointing at Denki who looked like the drinks were starting to get to him.
"He can sleep on the floor if that's what he wants," Hitoshi said, "I didn't put in extra muscles just to carry his lazy ass to bed,"
"You are such a cruel boyfriend," Eijiro said with a laugh, holding another batch of drinks for them to down.
Hitoshi shrugged. "I'm just straight forward,"
Katsuki gave out a grunt before getting two bottles from the case Eijiro brought before handing it to Shouto who started spacing out again. "If you have time to space out, then you still have time to down another case or two,"
Shouto looked at Katsuki then at Eijiro and the others before grabbing the bottle and started drinking-- losing count as soon as the third case of beer was brought to them.
The night went on hazy-- Shouto vaguely remembering him laughing his ass off at something Denki said that wasn't even that funny, he remembers glancing down at Katsuki's lap to see Eijiro palming his boyfriend with a hungry expression he was showing while Katsuki continued to ignore him and downed his drink one after another-- Shouto and Hitoshi keeping up with the blonde's high alcohol tolerance.
"Oy, Half-and-half," Katsuki called, his voice slurred and Shouto had to scrunch up his brows to keep his eyes focused on the blonde's face-- he felt like he was floating inside a dream. "Sleeping on the table's an indication that somebody's drunk as hell, you better head on home to the nerd. He must be worried sick about you,"
Shouto laughed. "Worried sick?" he answered, "He doesn't even get out of bed to check if I was eating properly, why would he be worried now?"
Shouto kept laughing, downing his drink but his companions abruptly stopped what they were doing and just looked up at him.
"He doesn't even talk to me... or even acknowledge me when I reach out to him..." Shouto mumbled, staring hard at his drink. "And when he does meet my eyes, it's like he wasn't seeing me at all... his eyes are all hooded from the depression he was feeling for losing the baby, and every time I see him and those eyes, it feels like I lost them both, you know? Like Izuku died along with our child... he stopped caring about anything else after what happened that day... so why would he be worried about me now, right?"
Shouto laughed at his statement, wiping the clear liquid streaming down the side of his face-- convincing himself that it was sweat-- before reaching for another bottle from the case when Katsuki grabbed his wrist to stop him.
"I think you've already had enough drinks, Todoroki," Shouto dismissed the confusion he had when Katsuki called him his name. "Why don't we call this a night and take you home?"
Shouto wanted to yank his hand away from Katsuki and shove him for trying to tell him what to do and what not to do with his life. He wanted to tell Katsuki to back off and let him water his night away as this was the only way to help him have fun again after everything that happened... but he just looked down and nodded, letting Katsuki and Hitoshi stand him up before calling a cab home.
~ TO BE CONTINUED ~