AGORAPHOBIA
"Wala bang mukha 'yang girlfriend mo at hindi mo madala rito?"
"Kailan mo ba siya ipapakilala? Ang tagal niyo na pero kahit picture hindi pa namin nakikita."
Binalewala ko na lamang ang mga sinasabi nila. Papasok sa isang tenga at lalabas sa kabila. If only I could bring her here.
"Why are you here? Hindi ba magagalit ang parents mo?" She asked with her worried face. Lagi niya itong tinatanong sa tuwing pinupuntahan ko siya.
"Parents natin. Hayaan mo na sila, Claire. You're always be my priority at hindi ang sinasabi nila. Baka 'pag nakita nila ang napakaganda kong girlfriend, kainin nila mga sinabi nila." She chuckled and pinched my nose because of what i've said.
She knows my family wants to see and meet her. They are aware that I have one but they never seen her even in the picture because of her situation.
"I think it'll never happen, bal," malungkot niyang wika. My heart aches. I hate it whenever i see her like this.
"Trust me. We will conquer your fear together. Someday you'll meet my parents. Someday you will face all the people confidently with your genuine and beautiful smile while walking in the aisle. Trust me, bal." I saw the tears that fell from her eyes.
"Thank you, bal. I love you," She said then hugged me.
"I love you more."
"Hindi mo man lang ba siya dadalawin? She needs you for petes sake!" Galit na sigaw ko sa kaniyang kapatid.
"Nandiyan ka naman. Bakit kailangan pa ako? She's not my sister anymore. Matagal ko na siyang kinalimutan." I forced myself not to hurt the woman infront of me whose actually my girlfriend's sister.
"Our anniversary is coming. I want you to be there. Help me to conquer her fear. I want to help her, please. I know she misses you a lot. " Halos nagmamakaawa kong wika sa kaniya. Her gaze turned to me. I don't know but I saw sadness in her eyes.
"Claire is really lucky for having you. I wish I could have a man like you. Sunduin mo ko sa cemetery. Bibisitahin ko muna sina mom and dad bago pumunta doon." And by that she left.
Kiana and I always been together because she insists to help to my surprise for her sister. Maybe she already accepted that Claire is innocent for the death of their parents.
Masayang kasama si Kiana. She's a funny person. Mas madalas pa kaming magkasama kaysa sa pagdalaw ko kay Claire. Alam ko namang maiintindihan niya ako.
I was heading to Claire's house when I received a call from Kiana.
"Hello, Kiana?"
"I-i need you. Please, j-just for now?" I could hear her sobs over the phone. I started to become panic.
"What happened? Where are you?"
"Kina dad and mom." After she ended the call I immediately went to the cemetery.
Malayo pa lamang ay tanaw ko na siya habang nakaupo. Maybe she just misses her parents. Bigla kong naisip si Claire kaya agad ko siyang tinext na susunod na lamang ako.
"What happened, Kiana?" I was shocked when he hugged me. She's crying.
"Bakit? Bakit siya pa? Bata pa lang kami lagi na lang siya ang bida. Siya ang gusto. Siya ang pinipili. Siya ang paborito. Kailan ba magiging ako?" She uttered that made me confused.
"Are you drunk?"
"Hindi ba pwedeng ako na lang? Papayag ako kahit pangalawa lang. We both aware that Claire has an agorahobia. Maybe she wouldn't know if---"
"Stop. I love her, Kiana. I respect and love her. Ayoko nang palalain pa ang sitwasyon. Iuuwi na kita. Pupuntahan ko pa si Claire. Bukas na ang anniversary namin. Sana hindi mo makalimutan ang usapan." I said to her but she just laughed.
"I won't come." Bahagya akong natigilan dahil sa sinabi niya.
"Akala ko ba pumayag kana?" Iritang tanong ko.
"I'll come but in one condition..." Dahan-dahan itong naglakad papalapit sa akin.
"Kiss me. After this I will come to your anniversary and i will accept her again. Hindi ko na kayo guguluhin."
Nilibot ko ng tingin ang paligid at maraming tao sa lugar since this is an open place. Maraming dumadalaw. Labag man sa loob ko ay hinalikan ko siya.
Mabilis akong napabangon dahil sa lakas ng tunog ng aking cellphone. An unregistered number appeared on my screen.
"Hello? Who's this?
"Kayo po ba ang boyfriend ni Ms. Claire Lepiten?" My hearts beats at a tremendous speed. Damn! Nakalimutan ko rin siyang puntahan kahapon!
"Yes. W-what happened to her?" Kinakabahan kong tanong.
"She's here in the *** hospital. She---"
Hindi ko na pinatapos ang sinasabi niya at pinaharurot ko na ang sasakyan papunta sa hospital. Halo-halo ang naiisip ko habang nagmamaneho.
"Doc, what happened to my girlfriend?" Taranta kong tanong habang hawak ito ng mahigpit.
"She had a panic attack due to her agrophobia. I'm sorry to say but the patient didn't survive."
Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig dahil sa aking narinig. I lost her.
"Sir, kayo po ba ang boyfriend ng pasyente? Natagpuan namin ito kagabi na hawak niya sa harap ng sementeryo." Napaangat ako ng tingin dahil sa sinabi ng pulis.
Kaagad kong kinuha ang cellphone. I opened it and the tears esacpe from my eyes as I saw what's on her phone.
It was the picture of me and Kiana kissing. She was there that time. She went outside to see me. Dahan-dahan akong napaluhod at humagulhol.
I immediately get my phone to my pocket. I was about to call my parents when a message caught my attention. It was from Claire kaya mabilis ko iyong binuksan.
"You taught me to conquer my fear but you didn't told me that it will be this hurt. I did conquer my fear, bal...but my biggest fear came and that was seeing you with someone else. Happy Anniversary, bal."
After I read the message, I feel numb. I blame myself for kissing and cheating on her. I went home to talk my parents about Claire pero hindi ko inakalang ikadudurog ko pa ang sasabihin nila.
"Anak, hindi mo pala sinabing ang ganda ng girlfriend mo. I like her for you. Pasensya kana sa mga sinabi ko ah. Nagpunta siya kahapon dito at nagpakilala kaso wala ka naman. Anniversary niyo daw ngayon. Congrats anak."
Napahagulhol na lamang ako at niyakap si Mama.
Ipapakilala na sana kita bal kaso inunahan mo ako. I didn't fulfill my promise that we will conquer your agoraphobia together. You made it alone. I'm sorry, bal.