note:
First of all, I wanted to thank you already. I honestly didn't even expect a single reader let alone people who comment and look forward into this story! Your support has made me smile already, thank you!
Still, I'd like you to know that this is an Izaya x OC story. I know that own characters aren't everyone's favorite slice of cake. I'm trying my best to keep Izaya in character and to make the OC an enjoyable character, but with the second statement I of course can not promise anything.
By the way, I found a fanmix on 8tracks, that fits the story quite well. It's called I get what I want; and was uploaded by whiae. I put the link on the side of this chapter. It's actually a shizaya fanmix, but in my opinion applies to this story just fine! I've been listening to it while writing constantly. There's a little nsfw-ish content, so be warned.
Another thing that's important to me are warnings! This story might consist of triggering and/or offending content such as:
angst, death, depressive and/or suicidal thoughts, psychological terror such as manipulation and Izaya being the casual trash king he is and there might also be mature content in the form of implied and perhaps also detailed smut.
Please don't read ahead if you could get affected or triggered by such content in any negative way!
Otherwise, have fun and I hope you can enjoy this story. Feedback is highly appreciated!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
As the moon and the cold wind met for what seemed like the first time ever, their coldness combined, somehow causing ermitting sparks to melt at least one of them eventually.
04/17:
He always had this grin on his face. A grin that practically threw the word defeat in her face. His pride, his constant successes, they were starting to get to her slowly.
Or had it truly been her own weakness, her constant defeats?
Either way, she was mad. Furious, even.
There were days when she had desperately wished for his smirk to vanish. Somedays this desire left a feeling of rage in the depths of her stomach, as if someone lit her guts on fire. It was bubbling with such dissatisfaction that she feared her body would burst.
It could have easily ripped her apart and spilled her insides everywhere. She caught herself imagining the blood dripping here and there, drawing patterns of no exact meaning, of no exact purpose.
The thought of the familiar crimson color made her let out a very small and shaky sigh. If she focused hard enough, it was easy for her to imagine the smell and the unfitting warmth the liquid radiated.
Would the sight of such a slaughter wipe off this godforsaken smirk? Probably not. She knew him well enough to be positive it would amuse him even more.
When closing her eyes in mere but a poor attempt to calm down and shut out her surroundings – or more specifically, him, the source of her anger – it did near to nothing.
Dimming the light didn't extinguish the fire, apparently.
Constantly holding back a scream caused her to grow more tired. It got more difficult with each time she attempted to ignore the remarks. His sentences used to annoy her, until it developed into him needing nothing more than a word to make her roll her eyes. Eventually a single sound was all it took.
He was getting on her nerves.
He knew it all too well.
He was enjoying it. Perhaps a little too much, but that didn't bother him. And it certainly didn't stop him either! Not yet anyways.
But no matter how painfully annoying he could be, in the end she realized, her rage was not directed towards him. Her rage was directed towards herself. Although she was pretty sure that he knew this, she kept the anger bubbling inside her. Deep inside her, as deep as possible.
She figured, if she couldn't hide her true feelings from him, she could at least hide them from herself.
After all, one thing was certain: Keeping a secret from Orihara Izaya was no use.
Cold fingertips traced invisible lines on her skin, starting from her temple and moving to her jawline, her neck, shoulders, arms and hands. Soon they were replaced by lips, which had been just as cool and left silent whispers in between the familiar curl of his grin everywhere.
You couldn't say she was surprised when her eyes fluttered open only to see his eyes still smiling and his lips still forming the usual cocky smirk. Thinking back, she came to the conclusion, that it must've been chronic, constant, everlasting. She couldn't think of a single time he hadn't looked at her like this.
Like she was his toy and he could wrap her around his finger at any time.
Like he was the puppet master in control and he could play with her in any way.
But something was unusual, odd even. No matter how many times she found herself lying next to him in the middle of the night, covered in nothing but the sheets and occasionally an arm that he had loosely wrapped around her waist, he had never looked at her like this.
It was a slight difference, but the girl knew the informant well enough to realize of what great importance this could be. At first she shrugged it off, thinking it was only the lightning that made his eyes shine brighter than usual. Thinking, it was only the angle that made his smirk seem softer than usual.
After all, another thing was certain: Attempting to change Orihara Izaya was no use.
The young woman couldn't put a finger on what exactly it was, but something made her figure:
If she really was nothing but a doll to him, a puppet, a toy, it must've at least been one of importance.
Usually, the raven wouldn't keep a toy for too long. He'd grow bored quickly and he would carelessly play until it was broken. Only to throw it away, as if it never was of any purpose. Within a short time he would find himself a new, better toy.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
02/17:
"Cold." The quiet complain left quivering lips and wandered of into the darkness, fading away unnoticed. She let out a shaky breath as she allowed her shaking thin fingers to pull up the zipper of her leatherjacket. The moon shone in an icy color, sending no warmth whatsoever towards the full streets.
It was just bright enough to function as light source in order for her to make out the silhouettes. Like ants, hundreds and thousands of little insects with even more quick steps, making her wonder, whether they were also as organized as the small animals ones.
Where were they truly off to?, she wondered.
Would the man with the red jacket meet his girlfriend?
Was the woman in her green dress on her way home?
Then again, did it matter?
To her, it did not. To her, she was just watching people fly by like the time she was trying to dawdle away. These people – these ants – they meant nothing to her. Neither were they of any purpose nor did she feel emotionally connected to them in any way.
The only thing she did feel while watching them was disgust. Disgust that felt like a thick and heavy stone.
It has been a while since the young woman spent time on a roof of some building to watch the crowd. In fact, it has been so long that she forgot the cold wind, which actually seemed to have missed her greatly. She was not used to it's welcoming but freezing hug and it brushing through her hair gently. It crawled up her neck and sent a shiver down her spine. Similar to the effect the voice behind her had on her.
"You must be Tsuki, if I'm not mistaking?"
Amusement lingered in the voice, that could've only belang to the man she was waiting for.
The girl turned her head to look over her shoulder, but other than that showed no sort of effort into moving another muscle. Her eyes soon were fixed on a figur that casually stepped out of the shadow into the dim light. Despite the darkness surrounding the two of them, she could tell he was wearing a smirk that caused ruby-like orbs to shine in excitement.
Orihara Izaya.
"Nakura?" the girl asked shyly. Her voice seemed to be as thin as the cold air, inconspicuous. No, mousy even.
The man removed slender pale hands from the inside of his pockets to adjust the beige fur trim of his black jacket. It adorned its sleeves, its hood and the very bottom that lingered on the level of his thighs. While shrugging in response, his curious eyes never left the petite figur in front of him, nor did the smirk ever leave his lips. In fact, the girl could've sworn it grew wider.
It was him without a doubt.
"Seems to be the case, doesn't it?" he nodded as his steps approached her and stopped their movements as soon as he arrived right next to her. "Although it's not hard to tell that you know who I really am."
She looked up at him and carefully examined the infamous stranger, making sure not to miss any details. It didn't surprise her one bit, she expected him to be a cocky smartass. Although his arrogance didn't surprise her, he did somehow manage to make her doubt her plans.
Thinking about it, she reconsidered whether it was a good idea to contact one of Ikebukuro's most dangerous men. Rumors have it, that this informant has been joining highly illegal deals with the yakuza right after graduating. He was well known as an expert in the field of human observation for a reason.
After timeless silence between the two of them, that was interrupted by them staring into each other's eyes only, the raven let out a low chuckle and interrupted their competition in who could find out more about the other by just looking at them.
"Well then, let's get to business, shall we? How can I help you, Yuzuki Mami?" His voice was smooth and calm but at the same time the girl could hear the mocking tone in it. She didn't think he would already know.
He must've noticed that she was taken aback at least a little as his smile grew wider and he titled his head to the side, giving her a piercing glare that was meant to show off how advantegous he really was.
Weirdly enough, it hardly made her feel uncomfortable. She allowed her features to soften again and looked him right into the eyes. The first thing she noticed about them was how full of life they seemed to be. It didn't take a detective to tell how satisfied and entertained he was at the moment but that was not the only thing that lingered in his orbs.
Although they reflected excitement and despite their warm color, they seemed cold and somewhat distant. It was hard to make out anything about his personality, although the eyes are the open window to someone's soul. Or so they say.
"I should've guessed that you already gathered information about me," Yuzuki sighed while a tired smile twitched at the corners of her lips.
"You do know who you're talking to, don't you? You should know how many citizens of this urban jungle live their life without me taking notice of them," the informant nodded laughing. "So, what did I do to deserve the pleasure of meeting Tsuki in person?"
Tsuki was just the username she had picked randomly. At the time she was staring out of the window carelessly, eventually watching the moon until she noticed how its name sounded quite like hers. She thought it was clever then, it seemed too obvious now.
"I don't really know you, Orihara-san. Nobody does. But I think I've heard enough about you to make this assumption. I don't think I seem special to anyone, honestly, I'm quite an ordinary girl, perhaps even boring. But if one can rely on rumors, I think you'll be more than gladly to help me out."
Yuzukis tired smile developed into a genuine one, her eyes shining in excitement, equal to that of the man next to her, as those words left her lips. "You don't seem like someone who would waste time on something, if you didn't see potential in it. In other words, you wouldn't be here, if you weren't interested in what I had to say. Or more specifically, I think you're interested in who I am," she continued while her eyes were still locked in his firmly.
Izaya raised an eyebrow and within a matter of a few seconds, Yuzuki watched the space between his and her grin grow smaller and smaller, until they were only a few inches apart from each other. Although the girl was sure she would've squirmed away or blushed at least, she was completely calm and didn't move one bit.
"Is that so?" the man demanded, smirk still neatly put where it belonged, eyes not breaking contact with hers. His words came in almost just a whisper, although steady, and Yuzuki could feel his breath brushing against her lips ever so slightly.
The girl simply nodded and took a deep breath. "I need you to do something for me."