Naruto looked up at the blonde woman with half lidded eyes. She certainly didn't look like Hana, with her golden undertone and upturned eyes. She was lounging in her seat, arms thrown over the back of the sofa and legs crossed in a pose even he recognized as arrogance, the shadow of a smile on her admittedly beautiful face. Her appearance threw him off, a bit, since this was Tsunade Senju, the Pervy Sage's genin teammate. Hana had told him about her after he started training with the old man, so he knew a little about her. Namely her age. Jiraiya certainly looked like a man in his fifties—acted like one, too, the lecher—but his teammate didn't look a day over thirty.
Her question ignited a fire in him and his first instinct was to demand why anyone wouldn't want to be Hokage, but he stopped himself. Barely. He could feel his face heating from the effort and he staunchly did not look at Sasuke-teme. Nu-uh.
Well, he did look at him, but he also looked at Hana! Nobody was speaking, so he needed to see if they were planning something with their eyes like they sometimes did. It was weird, seeing them in matching outfits. Hana's pale skin and dark eyes really lent themselves to the whole Uchiha vibe she had going, but the violent red of the marking on her face ruined the effect. Poor Hana, stuck with a grandpa like Pervy Sage.
As he'd thought, his friends were having a conversation with their eyes, neither of them paying much attention to him or the legendary kunoichi in front of them.
Well, then. He'd have to say something.
"Ahem," he began, hoping he wasn't about to completely dash any hopes of bringing Tsunade home for Lee. "Well, you're super strong, right? And smart! And you're a Senju, so if you come back, the village's morale will get better, since it went down after the invasion and everything." He leaned over to Sasuke, who was looking at him with wide eyes, and whispered. "Morale is the right word, right?"
"Hn."
"Right!" He turned back to the older kunoichi, pumping his fist in excitement. "Also, also! The Raikage and his brother are still in the village, so if someone as strong an amazing as you becomes Hokage, they won't cause any trouble!"
Tsunade's brows rose sharply and she leaned forward. "Why is the Raikage in the village?"
"He came for the Chunin Exams," Sasuke answered lowly. "There was a genin from Kumo in the finals."
Naruto nodded. "Yeah! His brother, Killer Bee, is so cool! Believe it! He visits Gaara with me!"
"He does?" Hana's voice was quiet and he almost talked over her. "That's nice."
Naruto's face hurt from smiling so wide. "Yeah! It's really cool, since he's been a jinchuriki way longer than we have and—!"
"Wait," Tsunade held up a nicely manicured hand. "Kumo's jinchuriki is in Konoha?"
"And Suna's," Hana agreed. "Things could have ended badly."
"Yeah, but Killer Bee stopped Gaara before he could lose control," Naruto interjected. "So, everything's fine!"
"Hold on a minute!" All three genin looked up, wide eyed, at a stern Tsunade. Hazel eyes glared at them before narrowing on Hana. "There are two foreign jinchuriki in the village, and one foreign Kage. Am I understanding that right?"
Hana nodded. "Yes, ma'am."
"And you want me to clean up that mess? For free?"
"What do you want?"
The smile on Tsunade's face was not kind. "Nothing you can give me."
Naruto's face scrunched as he once again took in the differences between the two kunoichi. Hana's hair was even more unkempt than usual and the dark bags under her eyes made the bright red of those unfortunate markings stand out all the more on her pale, somewhat haggard face. She really didn't look very good, did she? Regardless, the look in her dark eyes was as serious as he'd ever seen it, her sharp teeth—larger than his, though he hated to admit it—worrying at her bottom lip as she used her awesome brain to figure out the best response. She was handling the situation the way she handled everything, slowly and with a deliberation that Naruto had come to expect from her. Sometimes, he swore she took more time than she needed just to test his patience, such as it was. Tsunade, on the other hand, was the picture of nonchalance. The way she was looking down at them, the corner of her mouth tilting ever so slightly up, made it clear she couldn't care less about the arguments they might present. He knew that look, his entire soul curdling inside him as he recognized it. She'd already made up her mind. Everything they said would go in one ear and out the other, leaving no changes in their wake.
Naruto's mouth twisted in realization. Had Tsunade stayed in the village, she probably would have been one of the people who hated him. Was that the kind of person he wanted as Hokage?
He tugged on Hana's sleeve, bringing her out of her mind and grabbing both her and Sasuke's attention.
"Don't bother," he said, unable to keep his bitterness from his tone. "She's not gonna do it, no matter what we say. Kakashi-sensei at least pretends to listen. He can just stay Hokage."
Sasuke's face contorted comically, eyes wide and mouth gaping as he waved his hands frantically. Hana turned to look at Naruto with a conversely blank expression.
"Kakashi is Hokage?"
Sasuke covered his face with his hands, sighing heavily through them. Was it supposed to be some kind of secret? No one told Naruto. That didn't seem like the kind of thing that should be a secret, anyway. More importantly,
"Since when do you call him Kakashi?"
Hanako recoiled, suddenly finding herself the center of attention. Tsunade's awful smugness was gone, replaced by serious concern. Now, Naruto could see the resemblance.
"Chibi," the legendary kunoichi said slowly. "Are you alright?"
Hana took a deep, shuddering breath. "Yes, ma'am. I'm fine. I was simply unaware that Kakashi Hatake was currently Hokage. Speaking of which," she turned to the boys with a smile so fake it looked just like her father's and sent the same chills down their spines. "Why the hell are we trying to coerce Tsunade into taking that position if it's already filled? That seems like a waste of time, don't you think?"
Oh, no. She was mad. He and Sasuke exchanged panicked glances, holding a silent conversation of their own.
"Why did you tell her?" Sasuke's raised eyebrows demanded.
"I didn't know it was a secret!" Naruto insisted with a widening of his eyes.
Sasuke jerked his chin at her. "Well, now you have to explain."
"Me?" Naruto scrunched his nose in desperate denial. "No! I'll make it worse!"
Sasuke's thick dark brows furrowed deeply in aggravated agreement. "Fine."
Naruto folded his arms over his chest in a pout, somewhat miffed over Sasuke's quick acceptance. He wasn't that bad at explaining things, was he?
"Hana-chan," Sasuke was saying—with his words, this time. "Kakashi-sensei was appointed as interim Hokage by the Clan Heads in an emergency vote before the invasion was even officially over. With the Raikage in Konoha, there needed to be someone in charge, even temporarily."
Hanako's eyes narrowed even as her nostrils flared, an angry exhale sending both boys a step back. It was so surreal. Hana-chan never got angry. Disappointed, yes, and certainly unhappy, but angry? Now that Naruto thought about it, Kakashi-sensei was the same way, wasn't he? The only real difference was Hana didn't bother with fake smiles.
"I see. And was there a reason no one told me about this? I seem to recall lying in a hospital bed for the better part of a week—plenty of time to explain that the head of my clan is now also the effective head of the village, don't you think?"
It was a trap. He knew it was. Shikamaru said girls laid traps like those all the time and Naruto was inclined to believe him. Even so.
"You're right." Some of her animosity faded into surprise, but not all of it. He reached up and scratched at the back of his head, looking up at the ceiling as he struggled to find an answer. "I don't know why nobody told you. It's totally something you should know, believe it!"
Hana threw up her hands—er, hand. "Right? Everyone is always asking why I know so many things I shouldn't, but maybe I wouldn't have figured any of it out if they'd told me what I needed to know in the first place!"
"Hey, yeah, that makes sense!"
"As amusing as this is," they turned to look at Tsunade who did look very amused at their expense. "Does this mean I can stay here?"
"No way!" Naruto placed his fists on his hips, mimicking Sakura at her most bossy. "You're the only one who can heal Lee!"
To his surprise, Hanako copied his pose. "Yeah! Lee-kun needs your help!"
"Hn."
That look was on Tsunade's face again and it left a sour taste in Naruto's mouth.
"So, we're back to square one, then. There is nothing you can offer me that will make me set foot in that village again."
"Not even the Mokuton?"
Hazel eyes zeroed in on Hana, all levity gone as the kunoichi stared each other down. The older woman carefully set down her sake bottle, the ceramic cracked from her white knuckled grip.
"You don't have it," she said with absolute certainty, a dangerous light in her eyes. "So why bring it up?"
That horrible expression was on Hanako's face now, albeit muted by a sadness that seemed somehow deeper than her usual melancholy.
"You've been away from the village for a long time, Tsunade-hime. When was the last time you visited your grandfather's grave?"
Tsunade stood abruptly, the reaction disproportionate to the question. There was another layer there, something Naruto was missing. A quick glance told him Sasuke was missing it too, though, so it was fine.
"What are you insinuating, brat?" Tsunade's anger, like Hana's, made itself known in clenched teeth and flared nostrils, an expression Naruto had seen on the Pervy Sage's face once or twice, too.
Hanako held her ground, lips curling in a baring of teeth too tense to be a smile. "When you get to Konoha, ask about Anbu Agent Neko. I understand he was Orochimaru's only success."
Naruto leapt back, using Sasuke-teme as a shield as Tsunade moved. To his chagrin, it was only to collapse on the couch, her head held in her hands.
"Get out," Tsunade's voice trembled in the way Hana's sometimes did. "Gods, you're just like him, aren't you? Get out!" The last word was a shout and Hana turned sharply on her heel. Naruto stared blankly at the Uchiwa emblazoned on the back of her borrowed shirt before being tugged along by Sasuke. He tossed a final look over his shoulder and saw the other lady laying a comforting hand on Tsunade's shoulder just as the door closed behind him.
The three of them stood in the hallway, the silence tense and awkward. Hanako sighed.
"Come on," she said softly. "We should go find Jiraiya-sama."
Naruto snorted. "He's probably in a bar, trying to hit up women." He put a hand on the top of Hanako's head. "Sorry your grandpa's such a perv."
She smiled, just a little bit, and shrugged. "We don't get to pick our family, Naru-nii."
Yeah. He knew that. If they could, he would be the one living with Kakashi-sensei, not Sasuke-teme.
Immediately, Naruto was overcome with shame. Sasuke-teme was a perfect example of someone who should be able to choose a family. He'd just met that horrible brother of his, hadn't he? The one who murdered the entire rest of his family. His clan. Naruto would never be able to understand that kind of loss, and most days he was grateful for that, but...was it so bad to want just a little of what he had? His heart ached whenever he spent time at their house, though it was no fault of theirs. He was always welcome there, even before Kakashi became Kakashi-sensei. Hana was his friend and she'd always gone out of her way to make him feel welcome even if the rest of her household was more apathetic about...well, everything. He should be happy that she was gaining more family members, but he still couldn't keep the burning jealousy from raising its ugly head within him.
"It'd sure be awesome if we could," he said with a smile he knew she saw right through. "I'd take that Pervy Sage off your hands, believe it!"
She furrowed her brows at him, opening her mouth as if to say something before clearly changing her mind and then changing it again. Without her mask, it was so much easier to read her expressions. Usually, he had to rely on her chakra, but she wasn't projecting it nearly as much as she had before the invasion.
"You know, Naruto," she said softly, dark eyes gentle. "Tsunade-hime's grandmother was an Uzumaki."
Nani?
Naruto could feel his eyes widening, knew he was gaping like a fish out of water, knew his eyebrows were rising behind Iruka-sensei's hitai-ate. Before he could fully register what he was doing, he felt himself being pulled back as he tried to barge his way back into the old woman's room.
"Dobe," Sasuke hissed in his ear, the cloth of his mask brushing against Naruto's cheek as he pulled him back, arms wrapped around his neck in a restraining embrace. "Don't be an idiot. She just kicked us out!"
"But teme," he hissed back, turning to glare straight into Sasuke's dark eyes. "I-I have a family!?"
The look in Sasuke's eyes softened, but his grip didn't. "I know, dobe, but she doesn't want to see us right now. We can come back later. We need to go find that old man, right? You're the one who knows him best."
Naruto slumped in his teammate's arms, crumpling his face as he let out a long, high pitched whine. "But teme~."
Sasuke's eyes curled at the edges the way they did when he smiled. "Dobe~. Come on, you know where she is, now, so you can come back, later."
Hmph. Naruto stood on his own feet and allowed Sasuke to pull him along by the wrist as Hana-chan lead the way out of the hotel. He kept a stalwart pout on his face even in the wake of Hana's deadpan stare—way too much like Kakashi-sensei's.
"The bar he likes is this way," he finally said with a huff. "He might not be there, though."
He was there. Sitting at the bar, leaning in toward a young woman in a low cut shirt with a leer on his lined face. It took him a moment to notice the three genin, but the weight of their gazes—resigned, disbelieving, disheartened—drew his attention, eventually.
"Oh? The princess is done with you, is she? Am I going to have to track her down again, or did you manage to pull a miracle?"
"Hana-chan said something that made her cry," Naruto said casually, scowling at Sasuke when he elbowed him with a hiss. "But it's Hana-chan so it's probably part of a plan, or something."
The old sage turned incredulous—and somewhat reproachful—eyes on his grandchild. "Chibi-chan, you didn't."
"She needs to come back to the village," the kunoichi said with a shrug, though her face was a little contrite. "I said what I needed to make that happen."
"So, she'll come?"
"If she doesn't, I'll be very surprised."
"I see."
Naruto looked back and forth between them, again scanning for similarities. Hana had more in common with her grandfather than with her...cousin? That made sense, though. The most obvious resemblance was in the red markings under their eyes. Pervy Sage's were long and tear like, forming lines which dripped down his face and ended on the underside of his jaw, the red bright against his weathered skin in a way no tattoo could be. Hana's were less obtrusive, but still eye catching. The red was the same as Jiraiya's, but it stood out more on Hana's pale skin, staining her bottom lashline and making it look like she'd just finished crying. Without her mask, the shape of her face was more obvious, and Naruto took a moment to be glad she didn't look more like the old man, though that might have been due to the difference in their ages. Her face was rounder, with a pointier chin and a much smaller nose—lucky her. As she spoke, her dimples made themselves known, and Naruto quickly turned to catch their twins appearing on Pervy Sage's face.
"Careful, brat," Jiraiya laughed, ruffling Naruto's blond hair with one very large hand. "You'll give yourself whiplash."
Naruto scowled. "I still can't believe you're Hana-chan's grandpa. She's cute!"
Sasuke scoffed beside him and Hana smiled just enough to bring her dimples out of hiding. Jiraiya's face, on the other hand, darkened with anger as he roughened his treatment of Naruto's hair.
"Oi, what is that supposed to mean? I'll have you know I was the cutest kid in Konoha, back in the day!"
"Yeah, way back."
"Oi!"
Naruto stuck his tongue out at the sage, pleased by the sound of Sasuke's quiet chuckles and Hana's amused sigh. They were both such serious people, even more so in the wake of recent events, and Naruto was happy to play the fool if it made them smile, just a little bit.
"So, this is where you've holed up."
All four of them turned around to see Tsunade herself standing in the bar's entryway. Her hands were on her hips and a sneer was on her face, but her hazel eyes were as red rimmed as Hana's.
"Hime," Jiraiya's face broke out into a smile that was almost sincere. "Have you made a decision?"
Tsunade sniffed derisively and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not taking the job, if that's what you're asking, but," her tone sounded almost pained. "I guess a check in wouldn't be remiss."
Naruto pumped his fist into the air, jumping and shouting in excitement. "We did it! Lee's gonna be a ninja again, believe it!"
The older kunoichi scoffed at his enthusiasm. "I never said anything about healing anyone, brat. There are things I need to look into, that's all."
"Hey, you can't do that!" Naruto trotted up to her, bounding from foot to foot. "Come on, Lee really needs your help! He got hurt super bad during the Chunin Exams and-and-and he needs help!" He looked up at the best medic-nin in the world, eyes brimming with tears. "Please, please, please, Tsunade-baa-chan!"
Behind him, Jiraiya choked on nothing, coughing loudly as he placed his hands on Naruto's shoulders and tried to pull him back. Naruto kept his gaze fixed on Tsunade's face, on the shock and rage blooming there. Had Hana been wrong? Was Tsunade not related to him, after all? Baa-chan was the right honorific, right? She was his aunty or something, had to be!
"What did you call me, brat?"
More tears welled up in Naruto's eyes. "A-aren't you my baa-chan?"
The sharp look in her eyes suddenly softened and the lady behind her covered her mouth with the hand that wasn't carrying a pig.
Tsunade sighed, long and hard, and placed a slender hand on his head. She smiled, then, looking a little bit more like Hana as she did. "Yeah, brat, I guess I am."
Ah, so this was what family felt like. He could see why Sasuke was so angry, now, just a little.
"But," her tone was firm and her expression serious. "That doesn't mean I'm gonna just heal whoever you ask me to. I have to see the injury for myself before I make any promises, anyway."
Naruto nodded emphatically. "Right! Ok! You're coming, though, right?"
She sighed again, glaring at Jiraiya from over Naruto's head. "Yeah, I am."
Naruto turned to smile widely at his friends, both of whom replied with bemused nods of their heads. They were weirdly alike, sometimes, especially with their matching outfits.
"We should get going, then," Jiraiya said as he stood from the barstool, stretching and taking up way too much space. "We need to get the village settled before old Orochi-chan has a chance to cover his tracks."
Hana-chan looked up at her grandfather, one brow quirked. "That shouldn't be a problem. Should it, Yakushi-senpai?"
The hairs on the back of Naruto's neck stood on end as Pervy Sage's entire aura changed, waves of sweat inducing menace rolling off of him. Naruto followed Hanako's gaze to another patron sitting at the bar. At first glance—and second, and third—it was just a man, slouching over the bar and nursing a clear glass of some drink or another. Then, the man huffed in amusement.
"I should have known I couldn't get past that nose of yours, Hatake-chan." The henge dispelled, revealing Kabuto! What was he doing in Tanzaku-gai?
Hana hummed. "You could have, if you'd wanted to."
"Who is this? Another friend of yours?"
Jiraiya sneered in response to Tsunade's question. "This boy's one of Orochimaru's newest lackeys."
"Not new," Hanako corrected blithely. "And not just Orochimaru's."
Light glinted off Kabuto's glasses. "You're going to have to tell me how you know all this, Hatake-chan."
"Come back with me, and I will."
The older genin—was he, though? Naruto wasn't sure, anymore—spread his hands helplessly. "It would seem we are at an impasse." He turned to Tsunade, his demeanor so different from the kinda nerdy guy Naruto remembered from the Exams. "I was sent here to make an offer to you, Tsunade-hime, and I would like to at least say my piece before I go." He presented a scroll with both hands and bowed slightly. "Please, take this. I will be able to tell my master that I did this much, at least."
The legendary kunoichi took it with a curled lip, tossing it over her shoulder for her friend to catch. "If Orochimaru wants anything from me, tell him to ask me himself."
"Of course," Kabuto bowed again, winked at Hanako, and poofed out of existence.
Wait, he knew the Shadow Clone jutsu? Wasn't that a forbidden technique? Why did so many people know it, then?
He went through so much trouble to learn it, so how? Why? It wasn't fair!
"Chibi-chan," Jiraiya said reprovingly. "You're gonna have to explain that."
She sighed, suddenly looking very tired. "I know. I'd rather do it once, if I can help it, though."
Naruto grinned as the old man ruffled her hair the same way he had his, the strangeness of the situation forgotten in the wake of his friend's aggrieved expression.
"Fine. Let's get going, then. The sooner we get to Konoha, the sooner you can spill all your secrets."
Hana didn't look too happy about that, but Sasuke deflated with relief. Naruto reached out and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, hanging off the taller boy.
"Thanks for coming to save me," he told his teammate. "I'd have been caught if you hadn't."
Sasuke looked away, staunchly avoiding his gaze. "Whatever, dobe."
"Tch, forget it, then, teme."