Nikhil's eyes widen for a second before he rolls off me and starts laughing while I sit up with a straight face.
"Nice one...I...I almost bel— believed you." He chokes out as his laughter subsides.
"Nikhil I'm serious." I say hesitantly.
"Yeah, and I'm batman." He deadpans.
"Nikhil stop this! We're over okay? I wanted to talk about that." I burst.
"Whoa, whoa, okay. Well is that why you kissed me like that?" He questions skeptically.
"I— I didn't— look, we can't be together anymore." I stand up from the bed.
"Wait, Ritu, what the hell? We were doing well. What happened? Did I do something?" He rants as he stands with me.
"No, no. We, this—us—isn't working out. We're better off without each other." I manage to make up a reason.
Seriously? Try a good reason. He ain't gonna buy this.
"Ritu, what're you talking about? You said you love me." He runs a hand through his hands.
"I— I lied. I tried, but I can't, okay? I don't feel anything for you."
Lie, lie and lie. Wow, would you look at that?
Shut. Up.
He never said he loves me back anyway.
"Look at my eyes and tell that. I know you don't mean that. I don't know what sick prank this is but seriously Ritu—"
"Don't call me that. Not anymore." Taking a deep breath and meeting his eyes with mine, a stoic look on my face, I continue, "I don't love you; never have and never will."
Nice. You managed.
If you wanna keep nagging at me then you better fuck off—
Whoa, that wasn't sarcasm, I swear—
I. Said. Fuck. Off.
He takes a very deep breath, his face full of hurt and hopelessness that I look away from him to stop myself from telling him everything.
Putting up a fake smile that I know very well, he speaks, "Okay, well, so we'll be best friends then. I said I'll support you no matter what, no questions asked, so we'll be best friends."
"No...we should just— stay away from each other."
If I thought his face couldn't show any more hurt, I was definitely in for a surprise.
His fake smile faltered, his face crippling in hurt.
"No, no, no, no, no. No, please don't do that. I'll be completely platonic with you I promise. Don't do that." He practically begs.
I shake my head 'no', my eyes still away from his.
"Ritu— Rithvika talk to me, tell me what's bothering you. Make me understand but don't do this please."
Can't he just do what I say?
"Nikhil, I said no. Besides, we'll be in different schools. It's not a big deal."
I'm getting better aren't I?
"Please, I know something's wrong, why won't you just tell me?"
Well, I can't!
This isn't working, I have to change tactics.
"Yes, something's wrong, and it's you." I start.
He's taken aback by my cold voice.
"You don't seem to understand me—"
"Then make me!" He explodes.
"I don't love you okay? You're just— just so pathetic!" I blurt out, not knowing how else to make him leave me.
"Wh— what did you just say?" He stutters.
Good, the hurt is working. Maybe he'll at least hate me and let me go this way.
"You're just pathetic! We simply used each other to get ourselves out of our shells." I swallow.
"We used each other? Whatever happened to 'being best friends and not best friends forever because nowadays forever apparently means only a couple of months but that won't be the duration of our lov— friendship'?" He licks his lips after questioning me.
Not knowing how to answer, I do the only thing I thought of.
Exiting his room, I walk to the front door and almost reach it when fingers wrap around my wrist before spinning me around, catching me off-guard.
I crash into Nikhil's chest as he holds me firmly by my waist, his forehead descending onto mine.
I place my hands on his chest to push him away but one of his hands from my waist raises and holds them in place.
Too near! Too near! This isn't good!
"I'm in love with you, I love you. Please." He whispers, his intense eyes locking into mine.
My heart lurches at his confession, only making things worse.
This wasn't a part of the plan!
"Maybe, maybe when we've grown up, we can be together. And if we find each other again, maybe we can start over, new leaf." I whisper very, very lowly, making sure he doesn't hear me.
And even if he does, it'll just be some hissing.
Fortunately he doesn't and gives no reaction so I close my eyes and take a deep breath to keep myself from throwing all the DQ-deal out of the window.
"It's just a lie. It isn't true." I say with my eyes closed, loud enough for him to hear.
His hold on me loosens but his foreheads still stay on mine when he says, "I know if what I say is just a lie or not. And I sure as hell know that I love you."
A tear slips from his eyes and that was my cue to get away before I do exactly what I wasn't supposed to.
Taking advantage of his now loosened hold, I pull away harshly and leave, running down the stairs and taking off on my bike before he could come running behind me.
However, he does, but misses me just in the nick of time when I turn from his street.
Back home I enter as stealthily as I could and sure enough the lights are switched off and my mom has gone to bed.
Placing the keys on their places I walk to my room as silently as possible and release a breath once I've locked my bedroom door. After a shower I change into my pajamas before falling on the bed.
Staring at the ceiling, I replay what had happened to my life.
I had my dad; no more dad.
I had two best friends; one had deceived me, the other had gotten hurt by me.
I had my academic excellence; no more after a tiny bump of mental problems, at least not like it used to be.
I had a new girl-friend; deceived, again.
I had a best friend, boyfriend—probably one of the best things that happened to me.
And I had lost him too.
And now I have my mom, my maternal family who won't ever leave me unless fate takes a cruel turn.
I have Mia, Harsh, Darsh and Ved. Or maybe they'll leave me at some point of my life too?
But I've got me and my brain which has started gaining back its intellectual ability in the past couple of years.
One single tear drop, just as lonely as the sun which burns too brightly for its own good falls from my eye only to be neglected by me and wiped away.
And that night, a certain boy who I loved—and still love—whose departure from my life from now on since I had let go of him apparently hurts me too very much evades my dreams.
***
The next week, we were given holidays.
Yes, given.
Apparently, this year, the students' participation in the school exhibition had hit a new record and the Principal can't help but be, quote — unquote, 'impressed by our efforts' and she had given the next two days off for all of the students and the entire week off for the tenth and twelfth graders alone to prepare for our board exams.
For the first time in my entire school life, I'm thankful to my Principal.
Nikhil had called and texted me and it hurt a lot as the memories came back so I blocked his number.
Hell, I even deleted it. But not from my brain yet. I still remember the digits.
Well, try harder!
Oh, hello there, I had missed you...not.
We're hurting. Moral of the story. And we need each other.
Well, news spreads fast and sooner, I get a call from Mia and I brace myself for the hurricane before I pick it up.
"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING YOUNG LADY?"
I move my phone away from my ears at her loud voice.
"Bitch you better give me a good reason for whatever crap you just pulled off." She seethes.
"Look, we had our differences, someone had to say it. And I did." I say as sternly I could without choking on my words.
"DIFFERENCES? ARE YOU INSANE? YOU JUS—"
I hear a sigh before I hear a male voice.
"Hey, ignore her. Are you okay?" Harsh speaks while I can still hear Mia cursing in the background.
"You're not going to ask me what happened or anything?" I raise an eyebrow in surprise.
"Nope. I know you broke up with Nikhil and from what he says, looks like you preferred to stay away from each other. And I'll give you space until you open up 'cause you've done the same to me, and I can understand your hesitance."
I sigh in relief but Harsh continues, "And I hope you'll tell us someday."
"I will." But not for at least 6 years till I get a job.
"Good. We'll talk—"
"Hey, this is the rational twin butting in. as much as your unofficial-twin-talk was interestingly comical, I just wanted to tell you that we're here. We're not gonna leave you like those bitches okay?" Darsh suddenly butts in.
A smile spreads on my face at his statement and the fact that he had cursed but I absorb his words and it falters.
"You know?" I ask.
"We all do. And we don't think you're pathetic, if that's what you're afraid of. We think you're an amazing, nerd-but-not-quite, NFS-expert, sarcastic, bitchy-at-times, awesome best friend who'd happily laugh at my fantasies no matter how many times I repeat it." Darsh speaks and Mia's curses finally stop.
I beam widely as I feel warm at his comment.
"Thanks, you guys. I really don't know what I'd do without y'all." I whisper honestly.
"Eh. You'd probably be sitting on your apartment's overhead tank, belting out 'You're Fucked'." Mia replies.
I chuckle silently and ask them, "You guys together now?"
"Yeah, we're in my house." Mia answers.
"Group study?"
"Yep. Wanna join?" Harsh pipes in.
I don't know if it was Mia or Darsh but someone from their side whispers something along the lines of 'What the hell Harsh? She just went through you-know-what'.
You know what? Fuck this! I've gotta move on one day or the other and I have to start from somewhere.
Good girl. Let's haul-ass outta here.
I get ready and inform my mom about the group study for which she agrees—yes, she knows what I've done but just like everyone, she hasn't questioned me.
In Mia's house, we all talk, eat—obviously—and play video games.
Basically we did everything except what we were supposed to do in a group study.
All the while I almost forget about Nikhil.
And like I said, almost.
But one thing keeping me skeptical is the fact that I know that he definitely wasn't one to give up, or even if he did, he'd probably do it with the intention to strike back with full force.
All I can hope is he won't try to get back together with me or hurt me like I did him; an eye for an eye.
Nevertheless, that night, I had established and was sure that no matter how many days or months or years pass by, Nikhil will be that one memory that I'll never ever forget, however painful it might be to remember him over and over again.
A dream of his memory that got me euphoric or a nightmare of his memory that got me depressed was enough to assure my doubts.
A/N: Thoughts? Vote and comment, please and thank you!