Shaylee sat on a tree trunk on the riverbank and stared into the distance. The Temes flowed quietly past her. Now that winter was slowly changing into spring, the river carried a fair amount of water. The murmur of the waters drowned out all other sounds. Shaylee enjoyed this monotonous murmur.
Her thoughts wandered away to the days gone by. After we had decided to travel to Coccham instead of Glestingaburg. They had ridden through Wessex and set up their new camp in the forest near Coccham. On the very first evening, Finan had sneaked into the village and sent a messenger to Winchester. After that, all they could do was wait.
And even now, more than a week after their arrival, they were still waiting. Strangely enough, Shaylee didn't mind the waiting. She enjoyed the time out here in the woods even though the weather hadn't been the best. But the fact that Shaylee and Finan were spending this time together didn't make it all that bad. For the first time, they spent all their time together. They hunted together and spent the rainy hours in the small tent that Finan had brought from Coccham.
Today she had left Finan back at her camp and was now sitting on the river with an improvised fishing rod, enjoying the peace and quiet. She doubted she would catch anything, but she and Finan had a bet going on. It had all started at the fire the previous day. They had been talking about how they had learned how to hunt as Shaylee mentioned that she never had tried fishing, but she couldn't imagine that it could be that difficult. Finan had started to laugh and meant that it was more complicated than it looked. Shaylee didn't really know how it got to it. But at the end of the discussion, she bet Finan that she would catch a fish the next day. And this was the reason why she was sitting here on that tree.
Now, after a few hours on the banks of the Temes and she was more and more sure that she had been wrong, and this whole fishing thing was really not that easy. She was about to pack up her things when the string on her was stretched. Excited, she started to reel in the line, and indeed, a little later, she was standing on the bank with a fish in her hand that would feed them for more than a day.
She was still grinning when she stepped back into the clearing where her tent was sheltered under a big fir tree. A small fire flickered in front of the tent. Finan sat in front of it and looked up with a grin as she stepped into the clearing and held the fish triumphantly in the air: "Look what a monster I caught. I told you that I would catch something."
Finan laughed and applauded: "Impressive, but I never doubted you."
Shaylee rolled her eyes, laughing. She knew perfectly well that they both had about equal confidence in her fishing skills. She threw the fish to Finan, who scaled her prey with quick movements while Shaylee leaned her rod on the nearby fir tree.
As in the previous days, their dinner was rather monotonous. Although the fish was different for a change, the rest of the stew was the same as previous days. Some grain that Finan had also brought from the village and some herbs that Shaylee had found in the surrounding forest. But it fed them, and Shaylee was not fussy as long as she could snuggle up with Finan wrapped in her skins after dinner. They talked about this and that. Shaylee had learned to love these evenings. They had nothing else to do but sit by the fire, look up into the sky and talk. Okay, sometimes they didn't speak either but kissed. Shaylee would have liked to claim that she would have had enough of Finan's lips one day, but she honestly could not imagine it.
But she also liked the conversations. She had the feeling of getting to know Finan even better than they had known each other before. It was just the two of them, and without any eavesdroppers, they could be more honest with each other than ever before. They talked about all kinds of things. About their wishes and dreams, about Ireland and their past, even if they still left out the darker chapters. It was not that they deliberately avoided these topics. It was merely that they had always found other topics to talk about that were a little less gloomy.
So Shaylee Finan told of her mother, who had been carried away by fever and of her grandmother, who had raised her. A resolute old lady who had not let anyone or anything tell her what to do.
"I never knew my grandfather. But if you are to believe the stories that were told in the village. He wasn't the one in charge at my grandparents' house," Shaylee smiled and grinned at Finan, "But I don't think my grandmother would have married any other man. She had a mind of her own and didn't let anyone tell her what to do."
"I know a girl like that," smiled Finan and winked at her.
Shaylee rolled her eyes but then joined his laughter. She would have lied if she had said that she was not happy to be compared to her grandmother. She had been a strong independent woman and had been Shaylee's role model without a doubt.
So Shaylee and Finan got to know each other a little bit more every evening. And one evening, after a period of silence, Finan asked her: "Why did you marry Aidan if you hated him so much?"
Shaylee swallowed and did not answer immediately. She had never told this story to anyone before, and she didn't know precisely how to put it all into words. But she also knew that Finan had a right to hear this story. After all, he was sitting here in a damp clearing because of it. If it wasn't for her, he probably would sit in a warm alehouse. She grabbed the stick that served as poker and poked around in the fire. While she searched for the right words.
"The wedding is really just one chapter in a longer story," she looked up at Finan and said softly, "I'll tell it to you. But please try not to interrupt me. I'm not sure I can tell the whole story if I'm interrupted."
She looked up at Finan, who looked at her with his warm brown eyes and nodded. So Shaylee took a deep breath and began to tell: "You know my mother died when I was little. My grandmother took me in. She was the healer in our village. If someone had an ache, they would come to my grandmother, and she always knew something to make it better."
Shaylee went through her hair and hesitated for a moment before telling: "From the moment I was born, the villagers had reservations about me, or rather my origins. To them, I was a Danish girl and did not belong to them. If my grandmother hadn't taken me in and held her hand over me, I would probably have been chased out of the village after my mother died." She hesitated; she didn't want to sound as if she had just been a little child who felt unfairly treated.
"Now, in retrospect, I know that people were just scared, and when someone is scared, they react with hatred. They just couldn't help it. To a certain extent, I can even understand them. I mean, you know yourself how the Danes behaved in Ireland," she laughed dryly and took a sip from her cup.
"Most of the villagers were content to show me their dislike in small gestures. But they still treated me like a human being. Aidan was different. He was not satisfied with calling me a stranger or intruder. He wanted more. He wanted to show me that they were stronger than the Danes he counted me among. And for that, he had devised a plan," Shaylee swallowed and struggled to go on, "I had this retreat in the forest. It lay in the middle of the forest. I discovered it on one of my forays, and since it was far off the beaten track, I never thought anyone would ever find me there. But I underestimated Aidan's tenacity. One evening in late summer, he found me there with his henchmen Niall and Glyn. I got away from them at first, but they caught up with me and then ..." Shaylee broke off and raised her hands a little helplessly, not knowing how to say it.
Fortunately, Finan seemed to know how the story continued. The fire cast shadows on his angry expression. But as he had promised before, he did not interrupt her.
Shaylee took a deep breath once or twice and then continued: "Aidan must have thought it would break me. Well, he wasn't entirely wrong about that. But something was preventing me from giving up on myself. So I just kept going, and that made Aidan even more insane. Now he didn't just want to destroy me. He wanted to possess me", Shaylee couldn't help herself; she laughed cheerlessly, "After what happened in the forest, I should have known he would stop at nothing. But somehow, I imagined that as long as my grandmother was alive, he wouldn't dare do anything to me again. I thought my grandmother was untouchable. Youthful idealism, I suppose. I never thought Aidan would actually dare to attack the village healer, but I underestimated how much he had taken it into his head to destroy me. He didn't care about the health of his fellow citizens either. He started spreading rumours that grandma healed people with magic instead of herbs. That she had gotten involved with the devil. The awe that the villagers had shown to Grandmother turned into fear, and she was finally locked up in the nearby monastery. And so Aidan's trap snapped shut. He said that he would ensure that my grandmother would be released. But in order to do that, I had to marry him."
Finan gasped for breath and hissed: "Go marbhaí an diabhal é."
Shaylee couldn't help but smile a little. God forgive her, but she could only agree with him. But instead of responding to his remark, she continued with her story: "What should I do? I could not let anything happen to my grandmother. At that time, she was already quite frail and would not have survived for long in the wet cellar of the monastery. So I accepted Aidan's offer. I guess I also had the hope that if he had got what he wanted for the first time, everything would have flattened out a bit. I should have known that he would never be satisfied. Not until I'd lost all self-respect or simply was dead."
She fell silent and poked around in the fire again. She felt Finan's gaze on her and had to fight against the lump in her throat. Finally, Finan asked quietly, "Did at least your grandmother get out again?"
Shaylee laughed dryly and nodded, "Yes, she was released the day after the wedding. However, the cold and bad treatment had so affected her that she died shortly afterwards," she looked up and met Finan's gaze, "So the deal was for nothing," she took another deep breath and then closed: "Grandmother's death cut the last connection between me and Ireland, there was nothing left for me there. But Aidan seemed to have somehow sensed that I was up to something. He had his henchmen guard me around the clock. I couldn't take a step out of the house without someone shadowing me. But finally, fate was on my side. The Uí Néill started a war with the Conchobhair. Aidan and his swashbucklers had to move out with the rest of the men, and I suddenly had the opportunity to leave. I left the day after the withdrawal of the soldiers; I left in the dark of night. I travelled to Dublin, sneaked onto a ship there, and arrived in Wealas. From there, I made my way to Mercia, and that's where we met."
She smiled and gratefully squeezed the hand that Finan had stretched out and put it on her thigh: "I was rid of him, at least that's what I thought. In retrospect, I should have expected him to come after me."
"If I get my hands on that bastard," growled Finan, and Shaylee saw his eyes sparkle angrily.
She pulled a face and said, "Then you'll wait till I get there and take care of him like a gentleman should."
Finan didn't seem to agree with her, but he finally nodded when she gave him a meaningful look.
She straightened up a bit and let herself sink against Finan's side: "That's all in the past. Now I have you, now I am fine."
Talking about the past did Shaylee good. It felt good to know that Finan now knew what had made her who she was. That he knew why he was hiding in a forest in the spring, still almost winter.
They stayed in that forest for almost another week. But one afternoon, as Shaylee was carrying a heavy bucket of river water from the river to their camp, they received a visitor. Panting heavily, she stepped into the clearing and looked around the clearing. Finan was nowhere to be seen, and she murmured softly, "Of course, now that I could need his help, he isn't here right now."
"I see you are enjoying your time here very much," she suddenly heard another but all too familiar voice. Surprised, Shaylee turned to the side. The rapid movement caused cold water to spill from the bucket and run down her legs, but Shaylee paid no attention. All her attention was focused on Sihtric, who was a little offside, patting his horse's neck.
Finan was standing with him and had a broad grin on his lips. Shaylee looked back and forth between the two men and waited for one of them to break the silence, but neither of them said a word, just kept grinning at them. Finally, Shaylee snorted in annoyance and said, "You clearly want to get something off your chest. So come on, spit it out already."
"I can tell you're enjoying it here very much, but I'm afraid your time as a hermit is coming to an end. We've just come from Winchester. King Edward has finally confirmed that the marriage between you and Aidan mac Laigni is not legal," said Sihtric, grinning broadly at Shaylee.
It took a second or two for Shaylee to process the information. But then she walked in quick steps towards Sihtric and stopped in front of him. She pointed her finger at him and asked, "Say that again."
Sihtric looked slightly amused from her threateningly stretched finger to her face and back. Smiling, he replied: "You have heard me right before. You are officially rid of the Irish bastard."
Shaylee felt a grin spread across her face, and she turned to Finan: "I'm rid of him. We are rid of him. We are really rid of him."
Finan nodded and came up to her with a big grin, "We're rid of him."
When he had reached her, Shaylee threw herself into his arms. He swung her around while Shaylee laughed down his throat and said, "We got rid of him."
Shaylee could hardly comprehend that the nightmare was finally over. It felt as if she was walking on clouds as they packed their bags and headed back to Coccham.
Once in Coccham, Osferth and her uncle came to meet them. She ignored Uhtred and hurried to Osferth. She grabbed his hands and squeezed them tight: "Thank you! Thank you so much! You cannot imagine how grateful I am to you."
Osferth blushed and shook his head, embarrassed: "You are exaggerating. I'm sure everything would have turned out just fine."
Shaylee shook her head: "No, you saved my life. If you ever need anything..."
Osferth didn't seem to know exactly where to look. Finally, Uhtred broke the silence when he put his arm around Shaylee's shoulders and said: "Now we all need ale."
Shaylee let Uhtred drag her into the alehouse. There Shaylee lowered herself onto a bench and enjoyed the familiar surroundings. Shaylee sat back and let the happiness soak right into her bones. She wanted to make sure she would not forget this feeling. For a moment, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the happy voices around her. Then suddenly she heard an all too familiar voice and opened her eyes. At the top of the table, Eadith stood with a broad grin on her face. Shaylee was so fast on her legs that she almost fell over the bench; Finan had to catch her so she did not land nose first on the floor. Laughing, he held her hand when she climbed over her bench and ran to Eadith. She pulled Eadith happily into her arms.
"I told you it would be all right," Eadith said softly and stroked Shaylee across her back.
Shaylee laughed shakily and pulled her to the table, where she pressed her onto the bench and called to the innkeeper to bring another round.
How Shaylee sat between Eadith and Finan. Surrounded by friends and family, the only thing that could have made her happier would have been to know that at home, Liam was waiting for her. But this night, she just pushed that thought away. She didn't want to be sad, and she wasn't. She was happy. Her heart seemed to burst with happiness, and for a short period of time, she thought that she could not be happier than right here right now. But when she later closed the door to Finan's house behind her and turned to Finan, she knew she was wrong. Now she was even happier. She had the feeling that she was floating at least a handbreadth above the ground; that's how happy she was. Grinning broadly, she turned to Finan.
"I can't believe it. We're back," she laughed and then pointed to the door to the bedroom: "I think I've already forgotten what it feels like to sleep in a real bed."
Finan laughed and pulled her into his muscular arms. She laughed and looked up at him. Her lips met, and the start of the soft touch sent a strong feeling of warmth spiralling through her system. Her eyes closed fearlessly. Her tense nerves soon began to relax, and her troubles began to melt away, and the surroundings began to disappear, leaving only her, her and Finan. This felt true. This felt good. This felt right.
His lips felt so gentle, so warm, she felt her hands begin to slide up his chest and encircle his neck as the kiss began to grow heavy. Finan's hand slid off her face and tightened around her waist. She continued kissing him hungrily, wanting more. She felt herself being pushed against the wall, Finan's body pressing against hers. The kiss goes on, their lips moving in perfect sync and the kiss becoming more passionate by the second.
Her right hand flowed onto his chest and shoved the coat off his shoulders as her left hand began greedily undoing his shirt. Their lips parted and clasped onto one another once again with an adding of more pressure. Finan's hand slid smoothly onto her arm, lifting it and pinning it against the wall. Their kiss grew even more greedy, her mouth locking tighter. The heat flowing throughout her body began to grow as she felt his other hand slide through her cleavage to the fastening of her cloak; in contact with the buckle, he slowly began to unfasten the buckle. Her cloak began to hang loosely, and her bodice began to show. Reluctantly Shaylee removed her lips from Finan, leaning frailly against the wall. Her eyes leisurely began to open, eyelids relaxed as she slowly sucked in the cool air. Finan stares back, his eyes calm. She rested her forehead upon his as her hand slipped back onto his bare skinned chest. Her breath was slow. In strength, she quietly murmurs, "I love you". Finan's slow breathing emitted the same words. Their lips captured once more before Finan swung her up in his strong arms as if she was nothing more than a ragdoll.
"Then let's make sure your memories of a soft bed are revived," he said with a cheeky grin on his lips.
Reflexively, Shaylee wrapped her arms around his neck, and while he carried her into the next room to her bed, they began to kiss again. Gently, Finan let her sink onto the mattress before following her to bed. Shaylee welcomed him with open arms and greedy lips. Her lips matched perfectly as if they were made for each other. They moved together, and Shaylee was sure she would never let go of him again.
Shaylee awoke from the first rays of sunshine, which slowly fought their way through the cloud cover, only to dance happily through the room. Shaylee saw the layer of dust on the floor. A sign of her long absence. It really had been time that they had returned. She pushed away the thought of the cleaning that was about to come. She let herself sink back into her pillow and enjoyed her soft and warm bed. Finan had put his arm around her, and it was more comfortable than any blanket could have been. She snuggled into her furs and inhaled the smell that would forever remind her of Finan. Everything here smelled of him; there was that light note of freshly cut grass hanging in the air. That smell that always caused Shaylee's heartbeat to slow down.
Shaylee ran her hand over Finan's back. The soft hair tickled her fingertips. She felt the strong muscle strands under his skin, the protruding spine bones and also the scars that marked his back. She remembered the moment when she saw the scars for the first time all too well. The horror. The unbelief that someone could do such a cruel thing to her Finan.
She would never have gone so far as to portray Finan as a harmless man; he was not. He was a warrior, and he could be a difficult fellow to live with. But he was only like that towards his enemies. He was also loyal and protected those he loved with everything he had. And it was precisely these admirable traits that had left him with those terrible scars. Finan had never spoken to her about his time on the ship, and he didn't need to. Shaylee could roughly imagine what had happened on it. And she didn't want to know more than these vague ideas.
She shook off those sad thoughts and let her fingers slide tenderly through his curls. His hair had grown. Thick, brown curls stood off his head in all directions. She grinned slightly. This wild hairstyle made him look younger, and she could sense the carefree boy he had been years ago.
Lost in her thoughts, she played with his curls as Finan turned to her sleepily. He blinked drowsily to get used to the sunlight. His eyes were a deep, earthy brown - the colour of the earth after torrential rains. But there was something else in them, something glistening. Glistening like an old copper piece near a fireplace in which the flames reflected. These eyes held secrets, but they also had this mischievous glint in them, which seemed to reflect the Corner of his mouth, which was fighting a smile: "Are you starring at me?"
"Why would I do that?" Shaylee asked drily. But then laughed and leaned forward to give Finan a tender kiss. They remained to lie there for a while. Enjoying the fact that they were back in their own bed for the first time in weeks, Shaylee still officially living with Uhtred. Until now, this had never really bothered Shaylee, but now Shaylee somehow couldn't think of a good reason why that was still the case. So she carefully asked Finan, "What do you think about me definitely moving my stuff from my room at Uhtred's here?"
Finan lifted his head in surprise, and Shaylee was briefly worried that he might not be as enthusiastic about her proposal as she had hoped, but Finan just asked in surprise, "You still have your stuff at Uhtreds?"
Shaylee broke out in laughter and raised an amused eyebrow: "Do you see anything of mine around here?"
Finan's cheeks reddened a little and, with a somewhat mischievous smile, replied: "Then it's about time I'd said, isn't it?"
Shaylee felt the same way, and she grinned and sat up: "Well, then we both agree. I'll bring the things over, and then I should take a look in my consulting room. It'll look as dusty there as it does here."
In fact, she stopped for a moment in shock as she stood in the doorway to her consulting room. There was a thick layer of dust everywhere, and Shaylee had already begun to write a list of things she had to do before she could see patients again.
In fact, she was busy for days repairing everything, and as soon as she hung up her blue ribbon outside, the people seeking help began to stream to her. She was on her feet from morning till evening. She was so busy that she hardly noticed that the last days of winter were coming. The last snowfields were melting in the warm spring sun, and the snowdrops courageously pushed their heads out of the ground and stretched themselves towards the sun.
But although Shaylee was always busy, Shaylee enjoyed these weeks. For example, she still found little moments to relax, like strolling between the market stalls on market day. Mostly she was looking for herbs that didn't grow in Coccham and the surrounding forests.
One day in March, she strolled through the various market stalls again. She was actually looking for cumin, but her eyes fell on the dagger she discovered next to the pots of spices. Curious, she reached out her hand for the dagger and lifted it up. It was in a simple scabbard, but the handle indicated the skill of the blacksmith. It was carved from wood. Spiral lines wound around the round hilt. The hilt was not very long, but it snuggled into Shaylee's hand as if made for it. She pulled the knife from its sheath and weighed it in her hand. Thanks to the walnut-sized pommel, the knife was perfectly balanced. She raised her eyes and met the dealer, who watched her with interest.
The dagger was actually far too expensive, but Shaylee simply could not resist. She had her bow, but it was only useful to her as long as she could keep her distance between herself and her opponent. With this dagger, she would have something to protect herself within close combat.
She named the dagger Kindness. She liked the sound of the word, and she also liked the thought that she could defend herself against her opponent with kindness. But since she was not really skilled in knife fighting, she needed someone to teach her everything she needed to know. But thank God she knew someone who could help her with that. Finan was only too happy to teach her the tricks of the knife-fight.
It took Shaylee a few weeks to memorise the movements at least halfway through. After a few hours of practice, she had more bruises than she could count and almost regretted having asked Finan for help. He was a strict teacher. For hours he made her repeat the same movements over and over again. She would probably have given up if, firstly, she hadn't been too stubborn and secondly, if she hadn't remembered the many hours of practice it took to get the bow as good as it is today. She also knew that Finan was tough for her own good. No attacker would spare them. So she was not allowed to be spared in training either. And indeed, after a few weeks, she slowly got the hang of it. She was still miles away from really being a master knife fighter, but at least she would be able to defend herself.
She carried the dagger with her at all times from then on. The blade was attached to her back so that it would not be seen at first sight. She felt safer with the dagger, and Finan, who had derided her in the beginning, also noticed that.
Her life with Finan had become wonderfully familiar in those weeks. She had fetched her clothes and belongings from her chamber at Uhtred's and had made herself at home with Finan. She enjoyed waking up every morning in the arms of Finan.
One morning she had just fought her way out of bed. She was sitting in her nightdress in front of the fireplace and was just about to relight it. When Finan stopped behind her in the doorway. Shaylee felt his eyes rest on her and turned to him, smiling. When she saw the look on his face, she frowned. She knew this expression only too well. He was just about to do something he wasn't sure she would like.
He scratched his neck and finally asked: "You've been living here for a while now, and everything works out quite well, isn't it? Don't you think maybe it's time we make it official?"
Shaylee looked at him uncomprehendingly: "What do you mean to make it official? I'd say we've been official for a long time."
"That's not what I mean. I mean ...," Finan hesitated and walked up to Shaylee. He reached for her hands and pulled her up. Shaylee looked up in wonder from his hands to his face and noticed that Finan appeared a little nervous.
"I mean, we're really making it official. Let's get married. There's no reason why we shouldn't, isn't there?" Finan finally drove up and looked hopefully at Shaylee.
For a split second, Shaylee was speechless. She had reckoned with many things. But not with this question. Finan looked at her nervously, and Shaylee could not help smiling: "Of course, I'll marry you." She laughed and raised her hand and put it on Finan's cheek, "I believe meeting you was fate, being your friend; a choice. And falling in love was bound to happen. You are the one who keeps me shielded, defends me from the brutality. You are the one I will die thousand times for. You and nobody else I marry."
Finan also laughed and lifted her off her feet to kiss her at the same time and whirl her around in circles: "Well then. Let's get married."
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Irish/English dictionary:
Go marbhaí an diabhal é : "That the Devil may kill him."