October 24th, 2007 (6:32pm)
Jennie never realized life could be so complicated until she caught herself staring a little too much for a little too long at her cheerleading teammates, and that's how she learned two truths about herself.
One: she was a magnet for high school drama.
Two: Jennie Kim was, without any trace of a doubt, definitely and irrevocably not straight.
She had avoided any sort of issues at school to the best of her ability, but being fifteen, fairly popular, and rich meant it was only a matter of time before she got herself into deep shit. And boy was she in for a ride...
"Jennie? Jennie!"
The raspy yet sweet voice broke her out of whatever trance she had been in, and Jennie's breath was taken away once again.
"Huh?" she blinked some sense back into herself. "I'm sorry, Charlie, I got distracted."
"You do that a lot lately" the girl with the curly hair giggled.
And before Jennie could stop herself, the words simply escaped her mouth, and she found herself blushing and internally screaming.
"Only when you're around"
Speak of the devil, trouble had a name and a pretty little face.
Charlotte Brown had just recently transferred to Jennie's school during midterms a couple of months back, which was an odd time for a transfer. She was a bit shy at first, but quickly adapted herself to the new environment and found friendship in her classmates and the cheerleading squad, where she had been accepted quickly after an impromptu audition. Nobody knew much about her, except she came from Wellington, was an only child, and it was only her and her mother. But for Jennie, she was the girl who took her breath away from the get-go and she wanted – no, scratch that – she needed to know more about her.
Which brings us to their study sessions.
One afternoon, while doing homework in the local library, Jennie caught sight of the other girl sitting just across the room by herself, and she finally found the courage to approach her, and thus began a new friendship that had her floating on cloud nine – her hormones all over the place. And now it had become a sort of routine for them to get together for study sessions after school. However, this was the first time it happened in Jennie's house, since they usually met at the library.
Once again, Charlie's giggle interrupted her musings.
"You're cute" she said, making Jennie blush in embarrassment.
Jennie shook her head and cleared her throat for composure before speaking again, because she didn't trust herself not to say anything awkward again.
"So, have you decided yet?"
The question made Charlie groan and roll her eyes, and instead of saying anything, she simply got up from her seat at the dining table and marched her way into Jennie's kitchen, the latter following behind.
"Aw, come on! You know you love it, and you're great at it too!" Jennie insisted, plopping herself down on an island stool. "The rugby team would be lucky to have you, and I'd get to cheer for you."
She had mumbled the last part, but Charlie was still able to hear it, and a wide smile spread across her features.
"Aren't you sweet?" she said, sending a wink Jennie's way. "But I don't need your cheers when I can just cheer with you, you know."
"Yes, but you also look way happier when you're in the field with them" Jennie countered. "And I've seen girls go crazy when they see you play."
Charlie chuckled at that and, having finished her orange juice, she put the glass down on the counter and made her way to Jennie, standing incredibly close to her.
"You're mistaken, Jen" she said, her voice suddenly dropping to a lower tone. "I'm already happy where I am"
Jennie gulped at their proximity.
"Y-you are?" she stammered in surprise.
That was another thing about Charlie. She was openly gay, and that was already uncharted territory for most people in such a conservative, gossip-fueled, upper class school. And it also meant Jennie's heart rate would pick up every time she made such cryptic comments that had her mind spiraling for hours after. And she was starting to think Charlie was pretty much aware of the effect she had on her.
Clearing her throat to regain some self-control, Jennie opted for a lighter change in subject.
"So, are you going to the Halloween party next Wednesday?"
"Hmm" Charlie seemed to ponder on it for a couple of seconds. "Depends" she shrugged.
"On what?"
"Whether you're going with me or not" she replied in a suggestive voice.
So much for a lighter change in subject.
"Y-you want to-to go with me-me?" Jennie mentally cringed at her own awkward stuttering self.
Charlie noticed the trepidation in her eyes and the blush on her cheeks, and she chuckled lightly.
"You are something else, Jennie Kim"
Feline eyes met intense blue ones and Jennie's breath hitched in the back of her throat. They were standing so close to each other that she could feel their breaths mixing together, and it was intoxicating. If she had the guts to do it, she could just inch her face a little closer and they'd be lip-locking.
As if sensing her hesitation – and almost as if she could read her mind –, Charlie cupped Jennie's chubby cheeks with both hands and she stared deep into her eyes as if asking for permission. Jennie nodded and she closed her eyes with anticipation, but the kiss never happened.
"Jennie"
That deep voice sent shivers down her spine, and her stomach did a somersault. Quickly detaching herself from the other girl's grip, and stepping away from her as if she were on fire and the sole touch of her fingertips burned her skin, Jennie turned around and met the icy cold stare of her father, who had just gotten home from work.
"Appa!" she exclaimed.
-
April 24th, 2019 (9:16am)
Jennie was worried.
She probably wouldn't admit to it out loud, but she couldn't deny to herself anymore the fact that she was worried about Lisa. She still hadn't seen her since the wedding, and that was just three days ago. The first day back in class, she just assumed Lisa was too tired from the weekend and decided to take a day off, so she swept it under the rug. The second day she didn't show up, though, Jennie began wondering if she had gotten injured once again and they had failed to inform her, so she marched into the faculty's main office to ask about Lisa, but received no answer. Nobody knew where she was.
And now on the third day, there was still no sign of Lisa, and Jennie's nerves were spiking through the roof. She had done everything in her power to distract herself and clear her thoughts from the younger girl, but something always pulled her mind back to it. Because, really, what could possibly be the reason for Lisa's absence from school? She was a straight A's student with amazing work ethics and an admirable sense of responsibility. Whatever had happened to her to keep her from showing up at school or even informing her professors, must've been really bad and Jennie couldn't stop herself from thinking the worst.
To make matters worse, Lisa had yet to reply to her text message. No reply, no quick text, no phone calls, no nothing! It's like the girl had vanished from the face of the earth and it was actually driving Jennie crazy. Just, where the hell was sh –
"Annyeonghaseyo" Lisa's voice suddenly interrupted her train of thought as she trudged inside the classroom. "I'm very sorry for the delay, Ms. Kim" she added while bowing out of respect.
But it wasn't her sudden appearance what caught Jennie's attention. No. There was something off about Lisa; it's like she was absent in a sense. The way she smiled in a lip-tight barely-there sort of smile, the dark circles under her eyes and the dull expression in them, plus the way she avoided eye contact with Jennie, all indicators that she hadn't been sleeping well (or at all) the past couple of nights.
Something was clearly bothering her, and Jennie didn't know how to help. Not that she wanted to, anyway.
Besides, would Lisa even accept her help?
"Go to your seat, miss Manoban" she dismissed her in the most neutral tone she could muster.
Following her with her eyes until she had sat down, Jennie turned back to the graphics projected on the whiteboard and continued her class, acting as if she wasn't losing her mind over the depressed-looking girl in the room.
She couldn't be fooled. Lisa might be able to mislead everyone else with her fake smile and her casual clothing, walking around as if nothing ever happened – as if she hadn't skipped school for two days and showed up late to class on the third one. She could deceive everyone else, but Jennie.
Because she knew her better than anyone else and she'd bet her sweet perky ass on it.
Maybe she didn't know her favorite movie, nor the color of her cats, or even her parents' names, but all those things she considered trivial. Jennie knew so much more than that; she knew the real Lisa.
She knew there was something missing; the gleam in her eyes when she smiled and that naturally fresh attitude that lured people in – all the things she used to find annoying about her, she now found herself missing when they weren't there, and this thought scared her because, really, why did she care so much?
She frowned at the thought. She knew exactly why she cared this much.
Because it was Lisa, and she meant more to her than she had ever bargained for.
What happened to you, Lisa?
-
October 24th, 2014 (4:29pm)
The bottle of est cola stopped spinning and it was pointing directly at her. Gulping, Lisa looked up and saw her ex-girlfriend smirking at her from across the room.
"Seven minutes in heaven!" some annoying kid yelled.
Soon, there was a roar from all the kids around urging them to go into the closet and get it on. Rolling her eyes, Lisa shot an annoyed glare at whoever had dared her to do it and she knew she couldn't back down this time.
Sending an apologetic half-smile to the girl sitting next to her, Lisa got up from the wooden floor and stalked over to Minnie, taking her hand and dragging her inside the dirty little room – the cheers and whistles from their classmates reverberating through the entire house.
"Happy belated birthday, Minnie" Lisa whispered in her ear, as she held tight onto her waist once the door was closed and it was just the two of them in a dim lit closet.
How fitting.
Despite breaking up long time ago, Lisa and Minnie would still hook up from time to time. However, nobody in their class was aware of the fact and they wanted to keep it that way, so they both tried their best to act civil and uninterested around each other in public.
Did Lisa feel any guilty about dismissing the girl she had gone to the party with?
No, not really. They had just met two days ago, and Lisa had already forgotten her name. What was it again? Irrelevant.
At the present, all she could focus on was the sweet taste of strawberry Chapstick from Minnie's lips, and the sensual feel of her tongue twirling inside her mouth. Lisa's arms hooked around her tiny little waist, pulling her impossibly closer to her body, and Minnie's hands flew to her hair, entangling themselves in the brown locks and pulling roughly on them as she deepened the kiss.
Their heated make out session was short-lived, however, when Lisa's blaring ringtone wouldn't give out in her jeans pocket. Taking it out with an annoyed growl, she answered her half-brother's call.
"This better be good, Bam" she hissed out angrily.
"Pokpak, where are you?" he sounded agitated and Lisa perked up at this.
Pushing Minnie away from her, she focused on the phone call.
"What's wrong?"
"Dad knows" he let out in a shaky breath. "I don't know how he found out or who told him, but he knows you're gay. Lis, he's looking for you"
"Shit!"
Lisa started frantically pacing around in the confined space, a terrified expression etched in her features.
"Lis, are you okay?" Minnie asked, getting completely ignored.
"What do I do now?!" Lisa yelled into the phone.
"You can't go to your house right now, he's probably there already and you know how him and uncle Marco can get when they argue" Bambam reasoned. "I called Sorn already. She said you can stay with her at the dorm tonight because her roommate is out, but you need to be quick. You can't enter campus after dusk."
"Dusk, dorms, Sorn. Got it" Lisa repeated while turning the doorknob. "Thank you, Bam. I owe you one."
And just like that, Lisa left the party and she ran to the nearest train station as if her life depended on it.
Because for her, it felt like it did.
-
April 24th, 2019 (5:39pm)
The persistent vibration of her phone against her mattress was starting to annoy her. Grumbling in defeat, and without taking her head up from where it was buried under her pillows, Lisa blindly searched for her phone with her hand until she finally caught it; and when she saw the picture and name on the screen requesting to FaceTime her, she frowned and immediately answered it confused.
"Kook?"
"Hey, Lis! What's up" he inquired a little too cheery for her taste.
That guy could be so volatile. He'd go from extremely quiet and serious, to happy and bubbly in a matter of minutes.
"Heeey...." She stretched out in a yawn.
"Have you been sleeping all afternoon?" Jungkook asked. "Or at all...?"
"I'm okay. Just a little bit tired" she dismissed him with a wave of her free hand. "I had a very long day today. I just came home like ten minutes ago."
"Did you go to school?"
Lisa nodded.
"Finally!" he let out with a satisfied nod. "Shouldn't you be rehearsing, though? The spring show is on Friday"
"Jihyo is replacing me again" Lisa admitted casually. "I told Wonho my ankle wasn't ready yet and he understood"
"Lisa..."
"Don't"
Jungkook sighed and he looked at his friend through the screen. He was worried about her.
"I spoke with Rosie earlier" he started, tentatively. "She's finally starting to eat again. Jimin looks less worried"
"That's good" Lisa acknowledged. "I'll go by their place later; I'm just waiting for Bambam. Nayeon can't take me tonight; you know how Wednesdays are always extra busy at the Twice."
"That's good" he repeated in the same laid-back tone as hers. "But, how about you? Have you been eating these days? It doesn't even seem like you've slept at all to me. Did you at least shower today?"
Lisa only shrugged.
Truth was, she was exhausted. But it wasn't just the physical exhaustion from not sleeping; she was mentally drained and emotionally devastated. Lisa had sat at the foot of Jimin's bed watching her best friend visibly crumbling under the pain of such a loss, unable to do anything about it. She had held Rosé's hand while she cried her heart out and screamed at the top of her lungs in pure desperation – in a wail of throbbing agony that exploded through her eyes in endless streams of bitter tears.
Lisa had sat day and night in a dark room begging her best friend to eat, to get up, to shower, to... to do anything! She had tried with all her might to cheer her up and bring comfort to her, but it had all been in vain. The only times Rosé's agonizing cries of despair ever subsided was when the migraine from all the exertion crying had caused her would inevitably drift her off into a deep slumber.
How was Lisa supposed to eat if she couldn't mend Rosé's broken heart?
Lisa had tried. Bambam and Nayeon had tried to cheer her up and distract her with meaningless conversations about trivial things. Jungkook had tried to ease her pain by singing to her over the phone a couple of times. Her parents had tried to calm her down with soothing words of encouragement over FaceTime, and Alice had promised she'd go visit her as soon as possible. She'd book the first available flight on the weekend and go stand by her little sister's side.
Everyone had tried to be there for Rosie, but it seemed as though she wasn't even there to receive all the love and support from any of them.
And Jimin? Jimin had learned about his girlfriend's pregnancy through the worst news ever. He had found out he was going to be a father the moment that reality was no longer the truth. He had been hit with the shock and loss of a baby at the same time, and he didn't know what to do with himself. He hadn't even had time to process any of it, because all he could do was hold Rosé in his arms and cry with her. And they cried together. And every time he saw the way her lips would quiver and her hands would tremble at random hours of the day, it was like the stabbing knife of reality jabbed into his heart even deeper, hitting him with yet another wave of pain, and he didn't know how to stop it.
So no, Lisa was not okay because Rosé was broken.
"How's your grandma doing?" she asked.
"She's better, and you're deflecting" Jungkook countered.
"I'm an adult" she groaned in annoyance. "I can take care of myself. You guys are focusing on the wrong person here"
"Pokpak?"
Her brother's voice coming from outside of her room, indicating that he had just gotten home, caught Lisa's attention and she immediately sat up on the bed.
"Bam's here. I'm going now" she said in a rush. "Bye, Kookie! Talk to you later"
And without waiting for an answer, she hung up.
-
January 18th, 2008 (8:34am)
'New year, new me' was never a phrase that meant anything to Jennie until that year. She had grown tired of dealing with her father's tyranny, and the injustice in which she was treated in comparison to her twin brother. Taehyung was the perfect boy who could do no bad. He was a straight A's student, with enough charisma to charm even the coldest of people, and so much popularity that it should've been illegal.
Jennie, on the other hand, was always the stubborn reckless little girl who wouldn't comply to societal norms, as expected in such a high-class environment, according to her parents. She wasn't daddy's little princess anymore – to hell with that shit. She was Jennie Ruby Jane Kim, a witty and sassy teenager who wanted to have the liberty to express herself in whatever way she wanted to, and there was no one that could stop her. Not anymore.
She had lost contact with some of her friends around Halloween the year before, including Charlie. Not because she wanted to, but because she didn't want to give her father any more reasons to yell at her and call her names. There was only so much insulting a teenage girl could take. So, she decided it was for the best if she just cut Charlie off from her life altogether. Besides, Jennie would probably quit the cheerleading squad that year, anyway.
That summer, something clicked inside of her that changed her forever. She did a full one-eighty and stopped giving a fuck about what the annoying uppity people she grew up around thought or said about her. Because really, who the fuck did they think they were?
Checking herself in the mirror, making sure to wear her uniform's skirt a little higher above the knee than what was allowed, Jennie applied another layer of makeup on her face to cover the stinging red mark of her father's hand.
That was another thing she was starting to get used to.
It had only happened a couple of times, but all of them justified in her father's eyes; and her mother was a weak ass coward that would never stand up to him. Not even for her own daughter.
Saddened by the thought, Jennie frowned and shook those feelings away. Sending a playful wink at herself in the mirror, she walked down the stairs and out of her house to make way to school. She still didn't know how to drive and she hated riding with Taehyung on her father's personal driver's car, so she opted for walking most times. It was relaxing.
"Hey there, princess"
There it was again. That annoying voice that Jennie had grown familiar with was calling out to her once again. She never knew his name, but she knew he was supervising a construction in her neighborhood. Some new mansion or whatever. She didn't really care, though she was starting to get really pissed off and his incessant attempts to approach her.
"Have a nice day in school, beautiful"
Jennie didn't know what came on to her, but she stopped walking and turned around to face him.
"Can you leave me the fuck alone?!" she yelled a little louder than intended.
The workers around started laughing and whistling. They were all mocking this guy.
"Get back to work!" he yelled at them before walking closer to Jennie. "Look who decided to acknowledge me today. Good morning, princess."
"I'm just here to tell you to quit it. And stop calling me that; I'm not a fucking princess!" she barked back in anger.
"Oooh feisty. Just how I like them" he winked mockingly, causing all the blood to rush to Jennie's face. "You look really pretty even when you're angry"
"And you're a disgusting pervert" she spat. "You're going to stop bothering me or else –"
"Or else what, princess?" he interrupted, getting closer to her. "Are you going to tell your father on me? You're daddy's little girl?"
Slap!
Jennie would like to believe she had always been this courageous badass girl, but that'd be a blatant lie. It couldn't be any further from the truth because, at the present, she was completely freaking out over slapping some stranger. Sure, he had been harassing her up until that point, but that didn't warrant for such a distasteful action. She wasn't raised like that.
"Oh shit" she hissed. "I'm so sorry, oh my God"
But he only chuckled. Confused, she looked up to meet his amused eyes as he was rubbing his cheek.
"You are something else" he smiled.
"I'm sorry"
"Now you owe me one" he said, bending a little so that their faces were leveled. "How about I take you out on a road trip today? What do you say, princess?"
For some reason that she'd never be able to explain to herself, Jennie actually thought about it for a moment.
"I don't even know you" she let out, biting her bottom lip.
"Hence why we're going out. We'll talk and get to know each other" he insisted with a gentle smile that actually made her visibly relax. "I promise you can trust me"
"I have school"
He scoffed.
"So what? One day won't matter. Just skip class for today; I promise it'll be worth it"
New year, new me... right?
"Okay" she suddenly agreed. "But with one condition"
"Name it"
"You have to stop calling me princess" she challenged.
"Fair enough. What should I call you then?"
She thought about it for a few seconds.
"Ruby Jane"
He smiled at her and, taking her soft hand in his, he placed a delicate kiss on it.
"Nice to meet you, Ruby Jane. I'm Jiyong"
-
April 28th, 2019 (7:17pm)
Jennie heaved an exasperated sigh as she was reading some of her students' answers on her short quiz. Sometimes she wondered how the hell some of these people even made it out of high school. Maybe she was being too tough and strict with them, but she wasn't one to coddle people or applaud mediocrity. She had always been a perfectionist.
Looking down at one particular sheet, her heart skipped a beat at the name scribbled on it in beautiful calligraphy. Lalisa Manoban.
Taking a sip of her English tea, Jennie put down her pen and proceeded to read the thoughts and analysis from her favorite student. Despite her change in attitude and her dull and off demeanor, Lisa's wit never faltered, and her mind never failed to amaze Jennie. She was in awe of the rich lexicon in which she expressed all of her ideas so eloquently; and the profound phrases she would add here and there just for impact – to captivate the reader's attention and keep them wondering what she had to say next.
You'd swear Lisa was a literature student with the incredible pen talent she had, but like Jennie, she was just a perfectionist. And Jennie wasn't disappointed in the least bit.
She was, however, worried about her. This change in her whole persona wasn't normal, and even though Jennie could see some of Lisa's bright personality behind the sad eyes, she still couldn't shake away the feeling that something was terribly wrong.
Interrupting her train of thought, the bell rang loudly, startling her. Jennie placed a hand on her chest to stop her beating heart and took a deep breath before getting up from her seat to answer the door.
"Hey" Kai greeted her with a charming smile.
Jennie was disappointed. Not because she didn't want to see him or his presence was a nuisance; none of that. But because deep down, a part of her had hoped it was Lisa. It had been a week already since they confessed their feelings for each other, and she was itching to touch her again.
Yeah, yeah, I know what you are all thinking. Jennie is so goddamn annoying and she can't make up her freaking mind, but cut her some slack.
She was confused. Not about her feelings towards Lisa; no. But she didn't know what to do or what she wanted at this point in her life. She was painfully aware of the fact that she had called it quits between them the last time they talked, but that didn't mean she was happy with that arrangement. On the contrary, Jennie was miserable and every day that passed she regretted saying those stupid words to her.
"I don't even like you like that, and I'm sorry for letting you on" what a load of shit.
She had been mentally chastising herself for being so selfish and hurtful towards Lisa. She had actually wanted to apologize to her that night, but the other girl never answered her text. At some point Jennie had even considered double texting, but she'd be damned before she lost the last bit of dignity she had.
Call it self-preservation, if you will.
But whatever it was, Jennie was stupid for even thinking Lisa would randomly show up in her apartment when they weren't even on speaking terms.
"Kai" she greeted him with a lip-tight smile, as she opened the door wider, allowing him into the apartment.
"I'm sorry we haven't seen each other all week" he apologized while placing a chaste kiss on her cheek on his way inside. "Work's been insane, but I needed to see you. I've missed you"
Jennie felt a bitter taste in her mouth and bile rising up in her throat at those words.
"You know you don't have to apologize, right?" she chuckled as they walked to her kitchen. "We're both very busy adults"
Kai only shrugged with a hearty laugh.
"I hope you're hungry. I brought Chinese" he said as he placed the takeout bags on the counter.
-
(8:12pm)
"Got it, thanks. See you tomorrow" Lisa said before hanging up her phone.
"Who was that?" Nayeon asked, while coming into the room.
"Jimin" Lisa answered as she plopped down on the bed with a heavy sigh.
"Oh" Nayeon took a tentative step closer to the bed. "Is everything okay?"
At this point, Lisa's eyes were already closed and she was pinching the bridge of her nose thinking about the conversation she had just had with Jimin. He had shared something very important – a surprise that could go either way. Very good or complete disaster. It was all too much.
Truth be told, that hadn't been the only thing inside Lisa's mind all week. She felt guilty. Every time she looked into Nayeon's eyes, she would see the reflection of a cheating lying bitch and it was eating her alive. She didn't have the guts to come out with it and she felt like a coward.
She had a beautiful, supportive, funny, smart, independent, loving girlfriend and she had singlehandedly ruined her relationship without her knowing. The worst part was that she didn't regret it.
Sure, she hated hurting Nayeon in the process, but she'd never take back what she said that night and what she did with Jennie. It had been more than enough to confirm her own feelings, and now there was no turning back. The problem was that Jennie was still in denial and hell-bent on pushing her away, and it was actually driving Lisa insane.
To top it all off, Rosé was still a mess.
She was eating and sleeping better now, and Alice was in town taking care of her as well, but she still refused to go to school. Actually, she refused going out of the apartment altogether. Jimin was worried sick and Lisa couldn't blame him.
It was just so much. Jungkook was still away taking care of his grandma who, apparently, had gotten worse and could be in the brink of death. Bambam was hardly ever around the apartment because he had school, dance rehearsals, and they had changed him to night shifts at his job. Rosé was still mourning the loss of her unborn child, and Lisa was a cheater. It was so goddamn much. When would she even have time to speak with Jennie again?
Reluctantly as she was, she needed to accept the ugly reality that life doesn't pause itself just because you're falling in love with someone you're not supposed to.
Opening her eyes, she looked up at Nayeon and her gaze softened when she noticed the hesitation and worry in her girlfriend.
That was another thing. Ever since Easter, Lisa noticed the way Nayeon looked at her was different than it used to be. It was almost as if she were holding her breath – always alert for whatever she would say next. It was almost as if she were mentally preparing herself to be hurt.
Almost as if she knew something she wasn't supposed to.
"Come here" Lisa urged, taking her hand and pulling her in bed with her.
Nayeon quickly tangled her limbs with Lisa's, and she buried her face in the crook of her neck, releasing a heavy sigh of relief.
"I'm sorry" Lisa whispered against her head.
Nayeon frowned and she propped herself on her left elbow to look at Lisa in the eyes.
"Why are you sorry?"
Lisa shrugged.
"You've been amazing this week. Just... you being there for me, for Rosie, for all of us during this time – I guess what I'm trying to say is you've been great, and I've been an asshole" she tried her best to put her thoughts into words. "I'm sorry I haven't been giving you much attention lately. You deserve better."
Nayeon shook her head and she kissed the tip of Lisa's nose ever so softly.
"This isn't about me, jagiya" she said while playing with a strand of Lisa's golden hair. "I'm just trying my best to make you happy. I know you'd do the same for me if the roles were reversed."
And as painful as that statement was, it was the truth.
Smiling at her and intertwining their fingers, Nayeon laid her head back on Lisa's chest as the younger girl was hugging her tightly by the waist.
"I love you, Lisa" she whispered into the night, and Lisa stiffened. "You don't have to say it back, but I wanted you to know."
And silence reigned into the darkness of the room, as they both fell asleep without another word.
Or at least one of them did.
-
July 15th, 2016 (10:29pm)
Jungkook was an insane motherfucker.
Back then, if you opened a dictionary and looked up the term 'life of the party' a picture of Jungkook wearing green boxers on his head while sipping on Mai Tais would pop up. And believe me, it wasn't a pretty sight to see.
He was a student of the art department from YGU. Originally, he had enrolled as a plastic-arts major, but soon changed it to journalism with a minor in photography. He was creative, passionate and had a keen eye for detail. But he was also known to be insane, reckless, a social butterfly, and extremely wild.
His parties were known to last all the way through the break of dawn, and rumor had it that the police had been called to stop them on more than one occasion. It could've been an exaggeration, but no one would put it past him.
He had a strong and volatile temper, yes, but the majority of the time he was bringing joy to people's lives in the form of loud trance music, neon lights, strong drinks and some illicit substances. Nobody really knew much about him except for his party spirit, because he'd normally keep to himself around school. He was that rare and perfect combination of a popular loner.
So, if you asked him how he managed to score such a big apartment with that many rooms all to himself, you'd get at least fifteen different answers. Most of which had been told by him, and the rest were just mere speculation. However way he had gotten it, though, it was irrelevant because college kids just wanted to party.
Even the seniors and frat dudes would crash his infamous parties from time to time, and this one was no exception. Jungkook was throwing his first end of semester fest, and the turnout was quite surprising for a freshman.
"Shot, shot, shot, shot!" a crowd were chanting loudly, encouraging some girl to down a line of six pure vodka shots in a row.
Speaking of wild animals, that girl was Lisa.
She was standing face down on her hands and legs up in the air while Bambam held her tight in place. Meanwhile, Rosé was placing the beer bong in her mouth as some other kid started throwing the shots in the funnel one by one.
When the shots were done and Lisa was back on her feet, the crowd went wild in cheers, and Jungkook was impressed.
They had been going at it in an intense game of truth or dare for the past hour, and each challenge just kept getting wilder and wilder. Shit was becoming ridiculous at this point, but they were both competitive as fuck. That was the first time they had actually interacted with each other, and they had come to an unspoken agreement that they'd be best buds by the end of the night.
"That was amazing!" Yves, Lisa's date at the time, chimed in cheerfully.
Without hesitation, Lisa cupped the girl's face in her hands aggressively and sealed their lips in a hungry and rather sexual kiss that had Rosé rolling her eyes in annoyance.
"Now it's your turn, Jeon" Lisa challenged, tossing the golden chip on the table and checking the cards in her hand.
It was a complicated game, don't ask.
"Bring it on, Manoban" he said just as excited.
Everyone stared at Lisa in anticipation for what the next crazy challenge would be, but nobody could've ever predicted it.
With a mischievous smile breaking into her face, she spoke, "you will let us move in here with you. All three of us" she pointed at herself, Bambam and Rosé.
Everyone's jaws dropped. Another thing about Jungkook was, he didn't seem interested in having roommates and he had actually rejected a couple of offers from other students who were tired of living on campus dorms.
Jungkook guffawed at this.
"You're very clever" he admitted. "But not enough. Counter-striker" he added, slamming a double ace on the table.
A plethora of ooh's and oh my God's could be heard around them, but that didn't erase Lisa's smirk off her face.
"Now you have to do a challenge for me if you want me to do yours" he then said, a wicked smile etched on his features.
"I'm listening" Lisa laid back on her seat with amusement.
He thought about it for a moment and you could literally see the idea being processed in his mind. It was as if somebody had pressed a switch and a lightbulb suddenly flared up inside his brain.
"You will stop drinking alcohol from here until graduation"
Rosé snorted loudly at this, Bambam snickered next to her, and Lisa... well, Lisa almost choked on her own saliva.
"Are you insane?!" she exclaimed. "How is that fair?"
Jungkook shrugged, taking a swig of his Smirnoff Ice.
"Take it or leave it, sweet thing" he mocked with a laugh. "But if you drink so much as a drop of soju, you're out. All of you. So, what do you say? Do we have a deal?"
Truth be told, Lisa wouldn't even consider it if it weren't for the fact that the shitty apartment they were currently living in smelled like old diapers, and it wasn't big enough for the three of them. And moving back to the dorms was not an option either. She was doomed.
"Fine" she huffed. "Under one condition"
"Name it"
"If I stop drinking, then I'm not paying rent" she proposed with a smirk. "I'll help with other expenses, though"
Jungkook stared at her with a click of his tongue without uttering a word for a few moments, and then broke into another laugh.
"You got it, Manoban"
-
April 12th, 2010 (11:09pm)
"Please don't be mad. Please, Jiyong, please" Jennie pleaded desperately, her voice breaking in fear. "Jiyong, please! I'm so sorry. Please calm down"
It was the first time Jennie had ever seen her husband this angry because of her. He was usually very collected and sweet when it came to her, but this time she had made a huge mistake by opening the door to a police officer when Jiyong had clearly instructed her not to do such a thing, and now they were both compromised. Thankfully for them, the officer was a rookie and he didn't find anything bad, but it was still a big screw up on Jennie's behalf.
And now, Jiyong had been yelling at the top of his lungs in anger and smashing things around, because he had lost an account due to Jennie's screw up. A big client that JYP would surely punish him for.
"Please, just stop!" she yelled, the tears streaming down her face like waterfalls. "The neighbors will hear us"
Jennie tried to take a hold of his arm, but he was too strong and he immediately yanked himself away from her grip, which caused her to flinch and cover her face with both hands in the air. At the sight of this, his gaze immediately softened an he approached her with worry, realizing what he had done.
"Baby, I'm sorry" he whispered, his voice suddenly mellow. "I'm not your father – I will never be like that man. I will never hit you, okay? Please don't be scared of me"
Jennie hadn't realized she was trembling until Jiyong took both her hands and brought them down, allowing him access to her perfect little face.
"Baby" he whispered again, making her look at him. "I'm sorry I got so angry. But I will never ever slap you, and as long as you're with me, nobody will lay a single finger on you, you hear me? You're okay. We're okay"
Jennie only nodded with a quiver of her lip, afraid that she'd break down if she spoke.
"Come on, let's go to our room" he said, pulling her by the waist to his side. "I'll clean this up later"
Walking into their room, Jiyong helped his wife get comfortable on their king-sized bed. Laying next to her, he engulfed her tiny frame in a warm hug as he started rubbing soothing circles on her back.
"Ruby Jane" he said after a while. "Talk to me, baby. What's wrong?"
"Babe" she whispered into his chest. "Will you be mad at me if I tell you the truth?"
He frowned in confusion.
"The truth about what?"
"About... me"
"I'm not following" he said. "What do you mean?"
Taking a deep breath, she said the scariest words out loud.
"I like girls" it was barely audible, but he caught it. "Will you stop loving me because I'm not normal? Are you disappointed?"
He could hear the pain in her voice as she said that, and it broke his heart. But he couldn't stop himself from laughing, and it made her furrow her brows in confusion.
"Baby" lifting her chin up with a finger, he forced her to meet his eyes. "In sickness and in health, for better or for worse. You will always be my princess no matter what. Understood?"
He kissed the tip of her nose ever so softly and a few happy tears escaped her eyes as she released a breath she didn't know she had been holding.
"I love you, Jiyong" she said while burying her face in his chest.
"I love you, Ruby Jane" he repeated. "Besides, I think that's kind of hot. We're going to have so much fun now" he added with a suggestive smirk.
-
April 29th, 2019 (6:02pm)
Rosé was sitting on the armchair against the wall, staring out the window into the city. Her mind kept drifting off to the events of last week and she kept reliving every single second of it. From the moment she went to lay down in her bed shortly after Lisa left with Nayeon, to the instant she woke up due to a sharp pain in her lower belly and found herself lying on a pool of blood.
She remembered the way her feet were swollen and her toes were numb, and how there was a painful jolt of cold electricity running from her lower back all around her belly and down her legs. When she got up, she faltered in her step because she was so lightheaded, she almost threw up on her way to the bathroom. But it wasn't until after she had called an ambulance that the cruel reality of the situation hit her like a ton of bricks, and she started to panic.
That's when she called Lisa and Jimin.
And now, eight days after the night that devastated her, she still felt empty. Logically, Rosé knew in her mind that these things happen and there wasn't much anyone could've done. But emotionally, deep in her heart, she felt that she had failed her unborn baby. Rosé felt like the one place a baby is ever safe is in its mother's womb, and she had failed to provide that safety and comfort to her own child, and now she had to face the consequences and live with the excruciating truth for the rest of her life.
How was any of it fair? She had just been gushing about her pregnancy to her best friend, not knowing that a few hours later it would all go down the drains. She felt like less of a woman, and much more of an emotional mess.
"Hey, Rosie" her sister's voice broke her out of her reverie. "There you go"
"Thank you" Rosé smiled as she took the steaming cup of tea from Alice's hands, her gaze moving to the side. "Lisa?"
"Chipmunk!" Lisa chimed in with a smile. "Where's my chipmunk? Oh, you're so cute, you're so cute" she cooed annoyingly.
Rosé was taken aback by the sudden assault on her face Lisa was doing by kissing and pinching her cheeks. Shoving her away, she shot her a confused glare.
"What the fu –"
"Nae sarang"
Jimin's voice interrupted her cursing, and she turned around to see him standing at the arch of the living room holding a single red rose in his hands, and wearing a fitted black suit. Alice and Lisa shared knowing looks and, with smiles donning their faces, they stepped to the side.
"Chim? What's going on?" Rosé asked confused, checking the time on the wall clock. "Shouldn't you be at work?"
"I figured this is as good a time as any" Jimin said as he strode to her and got down on one knee once they were face to face.
Rosé's eyes widened as big as saucers and she could feel her heart beating so fast and loud against her chest that she could almost hear it.
"What –"
Jimin placed the rose on her lap and took ahold of her left hand in his before proceeding.
"I've been wanting to do this for such a long time that I didn't realize I was hurting you in the process. I kept on making up excuses and justifying my attitudes just because I didn't think it was the right time, but I was being selfish. You've been asking to move in with me for months and I always said no, because deep down I didn't want us to start our lives like this. I thought I could wait until the end of the semester and surprise you with a grand gesture that'd sweep you off of your feet, but I was the one who got the surprise.
I never knew how much I could love another person until I met you, Rosie. You are the light of my life and you have been the reason for my happiness from the moment I first saw you that night at Jooheon's place. You have always been there for me no matter what, and I've seen you grow and mature to become this amazing woman who fights for what she wants – a well-rounded artist who follows her dreams, and I ardently love and admire you for it. I'm so proud of you.
Last weekend I realized that I have failed you. You knew about this baby and didn't tell me anything, and you had to go to the ER all on your own and that's when it hit me; because you shouldn't have had to go through any of it on your own. You shouldn't be afraid to tell me things or question my love for you because I made you feel like you weren't enough. I failed you as a boyfriend and as a man when you were terrified and alone in that room, mourning the death of a baby I had no idea about. I should've been there. I should've known from the very beginning but that's not on you, it's on me and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you feel like you couldn't share this with me. I'm sorry I wasn't there with you when it happened, and I'm sorry our baby died. It wasn't just your loss, Rosie, it was ours.
And from here on I promise you I won't beat around the bush anymore. If you're willing to forgive me and give me another chance, I will vow to protect you and be there with you and for you every step of the way. Because that's all I've ever wanted."
Taking a deep breath, he pulled out a small red velvet box from his pocket and opened it, revealing a beautiful rose gold square cut diamond ring.
"I want a forever with you. I want to start the rest of my life with the woman I love the most, and that's you. And I want to wake up next to you every morning, and cook you breakfast, and take you to bed at night, and sing together every Sunday in church; and whenever you're ready, if you feel like it, we can have all the babies you want."
At this point, tears had already started falling from Rosé's eyes uncontrollably, and she couldn't stop smiling so wide her cheeks hurt. She let out a hearty chuckle at his last words and allowed him to finish his speech with the most anticipated question.
"Roseanne Park, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"
"Yes" she let out with a sob. "A thousand times, yes!"
Placing the ring on her finger, Jimin's own tears escaped his eyes as they kissed each other in the most magical kiss they had ever shared.
Lisa and Alice were practically crying like babies as they stood in the corner of the room in a sisterly hug.
-
(9:13pm)
The street lights illuminated the road in her wake. Lisa had been absentmindedly walking around the city for almost two hours now. She needed to clear her mind and, after Jimin's beautifully emotional proposal, she really needed to think things through.
That week had been such an emotional rollercoaster and she felt suffocated. It was almost as if she were drowning and there was nobody around to save her. Just the mere thought of facing Nayeon that night was already draining her energy, and she couldn't be happier that she was busy at work so she didn't have to have the talk with her girlfriend. Because really, what was she even supposed to say?
She hadn't replied to Nayeon's love confession and she wasn't sure she was going to either. Did she even love her? Sure, they had a strong connection and Lisa cared very deeply for the older woman but, was she in love with her? How could she even know?
Defeated, she made her way back to her apartment complex, knowing it was already too late and she needed to feed her cats before going to bed. Another lonely night.
But what Lisa wasn't expecting, was to see a familiar white vehicle parked at the curb, and she definitely never thought she'd find Jennie sitting at the steps of her building.
"Jennie?" she asked almost as if she couldn't believe she was there.
This has to be a joke. It can't be real.
...can it?
Jennie looked up at the sound of Lisa's voice and she met her eyes with determination and an unreadable expression on her face.
"You're here" Jennie said.
"And so are you...?" Lisa frowned confused. "What's going on?"
Jennie seemed to ponder on it for a moment while fidgeting with her fingers and nibbling on her own lower lip.
"I brought food" she spoke, pointing at the plastic takeout bags next to her. "Can we go inside? It's a little cold tonight and I didn't bring a sweater."
"Sure..." Lisa hesitated a bit.
Helping Jennie get up from the dirty floor, Lisa picked up the bags and she guided them inside the building and up to her apartment. This was the first time Jennie would see the inside of her place and she felt a little self-conscious.
"Sorry for the mess" she mumbled as they made their way inside. "I'll bring you something warm"
Before Jennie would respond, Lisa dropped the bags on the counter and walked to her room. Less than a minute later, she came back out holding her big yellow hoodie and a fuzzy blanket and handed them to her.
"Thank you" Jennie mumbled.
It was evident that nobody had cleaned the place for a week. Actually, if she had to bet, Jennie would say nobody had even been living there aside from the cats, and if her suspicions were correct, then that meant that Lisa was going through a depressive episode that could spiral into something much worse. No wonder she always looked like she hadn't been eating or sleeping at all.
While she was putting on the big hoodie, Lisa's stomach broke out a grumbling noise that made her feel embarrassed. Jennie giggled.
"Sorry" Lisa said with a blush. "Can I...?" she pointed at the food over the counter.
"Please. Go ahead"
Lisa walked to the kitchen and took out two plates. Serving them both some of the kimchi fried rice, she went back to the living room and found Jennie sitting comfortably on the couch with the blanket covering her legs, and Lisa's breath was blown away. Jennie looked ethereal in yellow.
"I'm sorry I don't have any fancy china, and I can't offer you anything to drink other than water" she apologized while placing the food on the coffee table and taking a seat next to Jennie. "But thank you for the food."
"It's okay" Jennie shot a shy smile her way and Lisa returned the gesture.
They were eating in silence for long minutes – neither of them knew what do to or say as they were both deep in thought and completely nervous. This was totally new and uncharted territory.
"There were three of them" Jennie suddenly said after a while.
Lisa frowned and turned too look at her bewildered.
"Huh?"
"Before you. There were three girls" she clarified.
Lisa's mouth turned to an 'o' at the revelation.
"When I was in high school, I was crushing hard on this girl, her name was Charlotte but everyone called her Charlie" Jennie continued her tale. "She had this beautiful thick curly hair and striking blue eyes. We were both part of the cheerleading squad, and study buddies."
"So, what happened?" Lisa inquired curiously.
Jennie shrugged.
"Nothing" she simply said. "After that, when I was already married to Jiyong, he would have me make out in front of him with his friends' bitches. He called it a kink" she scoffed.
Lisa didn't say anything, instead just allowing Jennie to talk.
"There were three of them: Solar, who was an amazing kisser. Hwasa, who taught me how to do that thing with my tongue that you like" they both giggled at that. "And Eun-bi. She was the one I felt more comfortable around and whom I was closest to. And she's also the only woman I ever slept with, because Jiyong insisted on a threesome and I wanted to make him happy. And then..."
"...and then it was me" Lisa finished for her, suddenly everything making sense.
Jennie nodded and they stared into each other's eyes for a moment, as if all the pieces were finally falling into place.
"When my father found out about my feelings for Charlie, he yelled at me and told me to stay away from her dirty influence. When I asked him why, he slapped me across the face so hard that I started crying immediately" Jennie continued, pain evident in her voice as she said all those words. "That's how the abuse and the rejection began. And then I started dating Jiyong just to spite him, but that went to hell as well. It seemed as though everything I did to prove him wrong just backfired on me."
"Jen –"
"After my divorce," she cut her off, "I decided I wasn't going to make the same mistakes again. I needed to get my life back on track and get up from all the mess I left behind. It wasn't until my birthday last year that I – I have no idea what came over me that night, but I created that Tinder account not knowing what to expect; I was just curious. Never in a million years would I have thought that I'd let things go this far, but I met you and that's that."
Lisa let those words sink in, and she heaved a heavy sigh of defeat.
"You should've told me" she said, turning her body so she was facing Jennie fully. "I had no idea. I wouldn't have pressured you so much had I known that you're still in the closet."
Jennie laughed at those words.
"You are really something else, Lisa" she said amused. "I'm here trying to justify my shitty behavior towards you, and yet you somehow managed to turn things around and make yourself the bad guy. Are you always this benevolent?"
"Are you saying I'm walking on high grounds?"
"If the angel wings fit" Jennie mocked with a snark, making them both laugh out loud.
After a moment, they fell back to a comfortable silence as they continued to munch on their food.
"I missed this" Lisa commented after a moment.
"Missed what?"
"This. Us" they shared a look before she added, "you" and bopped the tip of her nose with her finger while giggling.
Jennie's face broke into a gummy smile.
"I missed you too" she confessed, and it was true.
"What are we going to do now?" Lisa asked.
"We'll figure something out" Jennie shrugged.
They stared into each other's eyes once again, the atmosphere around them suddenly becoming heavier, and a warmth spread through both their chests like butterflies.
"Why did you come here tonight?" Lisa asked.
"I wanted to make sure you came back safely" Jennie confessed. "You look like you need a friend"
At those words, it felt as though a splash of cold water hit Lisa in the face and her resolution faltered. She didn't want to, but she couldn't stop herself from choking out a sob, and the wailing followed. Jennie's arms quickly wrapped around her frame and enveloped her in a warm hug as she let all of the pain out.
That night, Lisa cried out all the pain and the sorrow she had been carrying around for a week. That night, Lisa soaked Jennie's chest with her tears until she couldn't cry anymore and exhaustion took over them. That night, Jennie and Lisa fell asleep in each other's strong embrace as if their lives depended on it.
But this time, none of them woke up alone the next day.
-
A/N: extra-long chapter for y'all!
Thank you so so much for reading and liking my story. A few days ago, we made it to #12 on #jenlisa rank, that's insane! I appreciate all the comments and feedback I'm getting from all of you.
Once again, thank you and I hoped you all enjoyed this one.