Roman's pov
The nursery.
A room, I was quite familiar with, as I was the babysitter of the Alessi babies for many years.
Leaning against the door frame with my arms crossed, I watched Helena dress Alana while talking to her like she understood a shit she said.
Then, she picked her up from her crib and held her in her arms, a smile playing on her lips, before looking up and noticing my presence. "Roman!" she squealed happily as she approached me.
"Capo said you missed me, so I decided to visit you before flying to Mexico tomorrow," I smiled at her, pulling her for a hug.
"I'm glad you're back," she said, hugging me back. "I guess you're the only one missing my annoying ass," I chuckled, feeling very welcomed by her.
"Don't be silly!" she scolded me as if I was a child, slapping my chest. "You know they missed you too, they're just too proud to admit it, and the kids love you too. And I'm sorry about that ..."
Looking down at her, I saw that her gaze was on my shirt. Then, I saw a wet spot on my shirt, this little devil drooled on me. Though I couldn't blame the baby for drooling all over me, I knew I was hot.
"It's okay, I'm used to your children's drooling on me, they all did it, it's like tradition," I smiled at the baby in her my arms. "She looks like you, I wonder if she's as clumsy as you are?"
"Don't be mean," she muttered, rolling her eyes before pushing the baby into my arms, "here, you want to hold her. We named her Alana Annabelle Alessi."
Taking Alana from her, I nestled her in my arms. And I couldn't help but smile, she looked so tiny. Then, she smiled at me.
"She likes you," Helena giggled, kissing her baby's hand, before sitting on the couch.
"Of course she does, who wouldn't love me?" I asked with a cocky grin before sitting on the couch next to her.
"I normally find babies ugly, they look like aliens, but she's cute, yours is always good quality. And they look pretty, which is normal by a hot mom and sexy dad," I told her honestly.
"Stop! You're talking about my kids as if they are products," she huffed, shaking her head. "Yeah, but with good quality," I smirked as she looked at me annoyed.
She got annoyed quickly. I rolled my eyes. Women always got mad for no reason. And Helena was the living proof of it.
Here I was complimenting her that she popped out babies with good quality and instead of thanking me for my compliment, she got offended.
"You're unbelievable," she sighed. "That's what most women say when they sleep with me," I agreed with her.
"Talking about women, have you been seeing anyone lately?" she asked me curiously. "Si," I said, nodding my head.
"Who?" she asked me, a big smile on her face. "Prostitutes," I told her, rocking Alana in my arms.
And the smile on her face died with my answer. "Roman!" She slapped my bicep.
"What the fuck Helena! You can't hit me! I'm holding a baby!" I remarked, gesturing to Alana in my arms.
"She's good! Even laughing!" she claimed, and the little devil was seriously laughing at her mother's evil deeds. "And if you don't give a decent answer I'll entertain my baby more by slapping the shit out of you!"
"Fine," I sighed, giving in, "if I say no, will you try to set me up on a blind date again?" I looked at her suspiciously.
"I only did this in order to help you to build up your own family and find happiness! I mean, don't you want to have kids? You're doing so great with Cara, Alanzo and Lucia! You practically raised them! You'd be a great father!" she justified her actions from the past.
"Doing a Tinder account behind my back with a fake identity and setting me up on a blind date won't help me to build a family and find happiness! And I almost shot that girl in the head!"
"It could go well if you weren't overly suspicious about everyone who's approaching you! Maybe you have PPD? I mean, why else would you act paranoid and nearly kill a girl approaching you in a cafe on daytime!" she assumed pensively.
"You're right! I overreacted! It's not like the situation wasn't sketchy, like a girl, approaching me to distract me, and you in a cafe bathroom, out of my sight, no chances of you getting kidnapped!" I said sarcastically.
"Alright! I apologized over and over again for what I have done! I just wanted to do something nice for you," she sighed, not arguing with me anymore, knowing she was guilty back then.
"Setting me on a blind date with a girl, without my knowledge, making me almost kill her, that was the nicest thing you've ever done for me! Thank you!" Hopefully, she noted the irony.
"Yeah but that—" she started, holding her phone near my face, and as I read Zoosk, I decided it was time for me to retreat to my room.
"Gesù, Helena, I thought you learned that trying to set me up for blind dates end in disasters! Wait, does capo even know you have dating apps on the phone?" I asked her, giving her Alana back.
"No, but that's not the point now, look at her," she said, holding her phone near my face again.
"She looks really cute and I've been writing with her for a week now, she's really interested in you."
"Really? I wonder if she'll be interested in me when she finds out what I'm doing and who I am, because I'm definitely not a lawyer," I huffed, my description on my profile.
"But you know the law so well! So, it's kind of realistic!" she claimed, making me chuckle.
"I know it because I want to know what's the best way to bend the rules without getting punished if I should ever get caught while doing dirty stuff, I'm not talking about sex by the way."
"But I'm sure—"
"No, Helena! Look, I'm happy being single, I don't need a girlfriend or a wife. If I need some pussy, I'll go get some and that's it!" I groaned, she was so stubborn sometimes.
"But—" she started again but I already got off the couch. "Bye!" I said when something, or someone, hit my legs while I was leaving the room. Looking down, I saw Lucia smiling at me.
"Uncle Roro, I was looking for you," she told me innocently, before taking my hand and pulling me towards her mother, from who I was trying to escape. "Come on, we have to ask mommy for it! I'm sure she won't say no, if we both ask her for it."
I frowned, having no idea what she was talking about. "Mommy," she called to Helena, who was smiling at her.
"Yes," she smiled back at her child.
"You know, I want something and Roro wants it too and I wanted to ask, can we ... you know," she muttered hesitantly, looking down.
I liked the way she raised her children, she didn't get them everything they wanted right away, that was also why Lucia hesitated while asking for something.
"Tell me darling, so I can see if we can get it," she encouraged her, caressing her cheek.
She smiled at Helena before saying, "Can we have a pussy again?!"
Helena's smile dropped and she looked as if she had seen a ghost, which made me burst into laughter. "A pussy? Again? E-Excuse me? What?" she asked in surprise.
"Si, a pussy, and Uncle Roro said he wants one too, and we can share, I don't mind sharing," she explained as I died while laughing. Helena obviously thought about a vagina as her daughter asked for a kitten. And her shocked face was hilarious.
"She m-means a kitten," I enlightened her, still laughing like a maniac, finding the situation funny as hell.
She finally seemed to get what her daughter wanted. "Baby, why don't you say kitten? And we can't have one until your siblings are a little older, otherwise the poor kitty will get hurt again."
"Okay," she pouted sadly. "But you can always go to aunty Mia to see Snowball!" she cheered her daughter.
"You promise?" she asked, happy again. "I promise!" Helena grinned, kissing Lucy all over the face who giggled cutely.
"And who taught you that word?" she asked her with a frown now. "What word? Pussy?" Lucia asked innocently. "Yes, that word." Helena nodded her head.
"Uncle Roro," the little demon ratted me out without wasting a second, and Helena was now staring at me, she looked pissed off and I wondered why.
Before I could sneak out to escape her niggling which was going to start any second, Lilly walked in, telling us, "Dinner's ready!"
"Perfect timing, darling," I still chuckled before walking out of the room while hearing Helena screaming after me that we weren't done yet.
Rolling my eyes, I headed to the dining room, thinking that she was overreacting. Seriously, I didn't know what her problem was, it wasn't my fault her mind worked dirty and she gave the word 'pussy' a different meaning. We only asked her for a kitten.
When I entered the dining room, I stood in front of my seat next to Marco, waiting for capo and Helena to arrive so we could sit down and start dinner. "Did you sleep well?" I asked in the meantime.
"Yeah, why do you ask?" he asked me suspiciously as I grinned like a maniac. "Relax, nothing to worry about, I'm just asking," I meant innocently, before capo entered the dining room, followed by an angry Helena with Alana in her arms.
We took a seat at the table, after capo sat down. Lilly served the food, and Helena was still looking at me murderously.
"Bambola, what's wrong now?" capo asked as he noticed his wife's murderous gaze at me.
"Nothing," she snorted, looking away from me. Grabbing her chin, he made her look at him, his eyes going over her facial futures.
Then, he looked at me, sighing, "I told you to visit her, not to piss her off."
"Scusa capo, but I haven't done anything to piss her off," I defended myself. "Nothing?" Helena asked with a gasp. "You know I don't want my kids to learn bad words at such a young age!"
"What the hell! Pussy isn't a bad word! It means kitten, right, Lucia?" I asked her, and she nodded her head.
"Yeah mom, Uncle Roro and I just wanted to ask you if we could get you a kitten," she muttered, not daring to speak louder as her mother was angry and she didn't want to piss her off more. Such a smart child.
"That's not a bad word, they are right, it means kitten too," capo sided with me, making me grin smugly.
"Do you really think Roman wants a kitten!" Helena asked with raised eyebrows. She was right, I didn't want a kitten, but a pussy to fuck.
"What else does pussy mean?" Cara asked curiously. "Vagina," Valerio explained, while eating. Helena smacked his head, resulting in him chocking on his food.
"Why would Uncle Roman want a vagina?" Alanzo asked this time. The question should be, why wouldn't I?
"Silenzio!" capo demanded and everyone went silent. "This is not a theme we're going to discuss over dinner."
"If your wife could stop whining and snitching everything I do or say, like friends do, then we wouldn't discuss the meaning of a pussy over dinner now," I argued back, calmly.
"I'm sorry I don't want to keep secrets from my husband," she replied, huffing. "Really?" I asked her interested, cocking my head. "And does your husband know you've been surfing on dating apps like Tinder?"
My question made capo give Helena a sharp look. "I-I can explain," she stammered. "Give me your damn phone," he requested, his voice calm, but his eyes looking mad. Oh-oh, I guess someone was in trouble.
"I-I left it in the nursery," she told him, licking her lips nervously. "Then, we'll go and get it and you can explain me there what the fuck you are doing on some fucking dating apps," he scowled, and his voice gave even me goosebumps this time.
"An-Antonio," she squeaked in surprise, trying to explain herself as he dragged her out of her seat and pulled her out of the dining room.
"I saw her writing with women on the app! I think she's becoming a lesbian!" I shouted after him, adding a little more fuel to the flame.
"You're not here for a day and the first person you mess with is his wife?" Marco asked me with a sigh, shaking his head.
"No," I disagreed, "I messed with Valerio first, you were my second victim, and my last victim for today was Helena. And now, I'm going to my room." I got up from my seat, having my daily dose of drama for today.
"What the hell did you do to me?" Marco asked cautiously. Humming, I opened up the audio as I left the room, and played the recording where he agreed he'll teach Alana.
"You son of a bitch!" I heard him curse. Then, I heard footsteps behind me. Laughing, I ran to my room.
When I got to my room, I locked the door before he got in. "Fuck off! I'm not in the mood to fight, I have to get up early in the morning!" I said on my way to bed.
Instead of leaving, he whined like a bitch in the hallway. Groaning annoyed, I put another pillow over my head. And I smiled as I couldn't hear him anymore.
Ah, no place felt better than home. I really did miss these scumbags, I was actually sad to say goodbye to them tomorrow.
I wished I could just cause a little more drama before I left.
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