Jason's jaw drops to the floor, staring back at me, short of words.
"I feel to leave this place for a while," I continue, struggling to look impassive as if this is not a fucking bomb that has just landed in my kitchen.
"Wow," is all Jason can say and continues filling the plates with food.
"And when did you decide that?" he asks, sitting on the island next to me and placing breakfast in front of us.
My nostrils arch, feeling the stomach coming up to my throat at the smell of the food.
I swallow hard and try to hold strong against this nausea coming all over me like a tsunami in Bali.
"Last night," I try to speak but my words come out only as a heavy breath rolling out on my lips and I slap my hand on the mouth, eyeing the bathroom door while I stand up and run to it.
"Oh, my God," I mumble crouching next to the toilet and letting myself empty from the... nothing that I have in my stomach.
God knows what it is because dinner has been skipped last night and all I have in my system are the chocolate bars I've eaten before reaching mom yesterday.
I feel my hair pulled up and a hand rubbing up and down on my back while I struggle to finish and avoid the embarrassment.
My groans come from the depth of my lungs, and I sob with tears springing out of my eyes while my throat stings.
When I feel having enough of my beautiful show of mess, I sit on the floor, panting and looking back at Jason who is wetting a towel at the sink.
"Jesus, Eve..." he mumbles visibly shuttered at my sight.
He crouches next to me and begins cleaning my face with the warm towel, brushing it lightly on the skin, refreshing me while my eyes stare at his worried face.
"This is not good, Eve," he speaks without sparing me a look, being too busy cleaning me up and pushing my hair back.
His face is tensed and his eyebrows frown, making him look so very pretty.
I smile, and his eyes lock with mine for a few good moments.
"Well, then it's good I'm leaving. You won't have to see me this way because trust me, it's going to be a lot," I laugh weakly back at him.
"You're not leaving alone, Eve. In which fantasy of yours do you think Lucas won't burn the earth to find you? Oh, you're so cute to believe in fairytales," he says, widening his eyes, staring in such a serious look that it makes me feel he means business.
"I won't be alone, Jason. I'm planning to go to my aunt Feli," I clarify it for him and try to stand up.
I know it's going to be quite a piece of news for everybody and even I feel it's a radical decision, but I need this, although the unknown is frightening me.
His cold stare makes me turn my eyes away and wish to vanish but while standing up I lose balance for a second.
Jason grabs my upper arm and stops me on my way to the sink where I want to wash and brush my teeth.
He forces me to turn around and looks deep into my eyes almost burning holes while I frown and try to get loose.
His grip is light, I can barely feel it but his stare holds so much worry that I find it hard to push him away.
And I don't want to push him away. I only want him to let me be and drop the subject because if he doesn't, I'll find it a crazy idea myself and I might give up on it.
"Jason, please, I'm decided," I tell him, turning around and grabbing my toothbrush.
I turn on the water tap to moisturize the toothpaste.
"I'm coming with you, Eve," he says still standing behind my back and my eyes snap up, staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror.
"What?"
"I'm coming with you. It's Italy, Eve. It's not as safe as it is here. And what makes you think that Don Enzo will not come there? I mean, how can you be so sure he won't come after you?" he is asking question after question, and he really has a point.
"He won't," I mumble and start brushing my teeth, hoping again Jason will fucking leave me alone.
I couldn't go to the island, mom would be there in a blink. I don't want them to push me to talk about it, neither of them. I want to be alone. I need time and I need space.
"I won't tell them where I am. Aunt Feli will not either," I say while leaving the bathroom, having Jason on my heels.
"You don't know Lucas. He hollowed the earth for your mother. He will burn it for you," he shouts, walking fast after me.
I turn around, propping one hand on my waist angrily and willing to stop talking about it.
"Are you coming?" I ask, knowing it's time for the doctor's appointment and really hoping the subject is done talking. I'm leaving and that's it.
He stares back at me for a few moments more, opening his mouth twice to say something and then closing it again, changing his mind as if whatever is to be said, it's useless.
He shakes his head in defeat and walks toward me, grabbing my purse and phone and then the car keys while pulling me towards the door.
"I'm coming with you, Eve," he finally decides, and I smirk.
"Oh, I'm sure. Dad would never have it any other way," I reply and walk into the elevator, followed by Jason, with a smile finally creeping on his face.
I want Jason to come. It will make things easier, especially since dad trusts him a lot and I'm hoping he won't totally deny me leaving.
The drive to the clinic was quiet, giving me a sweet time to think and plan my relocation.
I'm happy my school is almost done. All I still need is to freeze my finals till later on. And I have to visit Pepa. We haven't seen each other lately except for the times we meet at school.
She's working as an intern as well in her father's company, so it's hard to meet or go out and with the recent events in my life, time to give her has become something almost non-existing.
"Miss Tate," the nurse calls, and I snap my head up, dragging myself out of my thoughts.
I lay my hand on my stomach, pressing lightly as if trying to feel my little bean with my palm to make sure it's there and to protect it from any threat that might come.
"The doctor is ready for you, now," she continues smiling kindly and I stand up while Jason wraps an arm around my waist, leading me towards the doctor's office pointed by the nurse.
Jason walks in behind me while the doctor stands up from his desk, reaching a hand to me to shake, and then to Jason.
"Miss Tate, nice to meet you," he says and motions to the chairs in front of his desk, inviting us to sit.
Our session begins with the doctor asking so many questions. I reply to each one, calmly and accurately while Jason keeps silent, squeezing my hand from time to time.
Then comes the time for blood samples for exact results, although I know I have that little life inside of me. I'm sure there is a part of Enzo inside of me as I'm sure of the next breath I inhale.
I've loved Enzo maybe since maybe forever, I'm loving him more from the first moment we've first met at the airport, and I love him now a thousand times more for the priceless gift he has given me.
No matter what the future brings, that part of Enzo will always be mine, and will always be with me.
"Alright, Miss Tate, we have the results," the doctor says, and taking his seat across us he lightly smiles. "You are four weeks pregnant, Miss Tate, your blood results look good, but we'll have to fix the vitamins and iron scheme and I'll wait for you here in two weeks starting from today for an ultrasound. Congratulations to both of you," he concludes, closing the file and shifting his glare from me to Jason.
"Oh, no. I'm not..." Jason tries to explain that he is not the father and he almost says it, but I squeeze his hand to stop him.
His eyes snap to me, gauging like plates on a dinner table.
"Thank you, doctor. I'll see you in two weeks then," I reply politely, ignoring the bombshell on Jason's face and I stand up, pulling after me one still shocked Jason.
Without other words, we walk to the exit, passing by the reception, and walk out in the chilly weather, with Jason grabbing my hand.
"Let's go to the mansion," I tell him and get in the car once he opens the door for me.
I feel strong, a power grows in me like there is no threat to ever cross over me, no mountain I cannot move to protect my child, no human to make me fear and I'm now more confident than ever that I must leave. I can't wait for it! Before missing Italy, something is dragging me to that place where once I've felt so peaceful. And I want to go back to it.
"Are you going to tell Don Enzo?" Jason breaks the silence between us, still looking to the road while driving. His face is hard and his eyes dark, speaking for the first time since we've left the clinic.
I know it's going to be hard for him, it's difficult to handle a pregnant woman and sometimes men do get scared off, even if they are the fathers.
I cover his hand resting on the gear, and he shifts his eyes to me.
"Jason, you don't have to come. I'll be alright. I'll understand, and I'll have aunt Feli with me," I say most honestly.
"Don't get me on my nerves when I'm fucking driving, girl. You're not setting a foot out of here without me," he says and pulls me in a hug while I kiss him on his cheek.
"I'll always be there, girl. I told you that."
"Yes, you did. You did..." I confirm and lean my head against his shoulder while he turns his eyes again to me and smiles.
"Look at you. You're already glowing," he says with a beaming smile brightening his face.
I am, I feel it. The moment my pregnancy has been confirmed a new kind of joy nests in my heart and I know I won't be easily broken now.
I have my baby to be strong for, I have my little bundle of joy that needs a powerful mother, and it already has a powerful dad.
"Eve, sweetheart," my mom says and pulls me into a strong hug, almost sobbing. Again.
I don't want to hurt her, God knows I never wish my kid to hurt me, so I let her squeeze me as much as she needs, and I hug her back warmly.
She pushes me a little further and stares at me with glazed eyes, cupping my cheeks and kissing my forehead.
"You look good, sweetheart," she says, and her eyes say more than that. I try to avoid looking at her and walk into the house.
"I'm doing good, Mamma," I tell her and drop my purse on the island next to the door, walking past her with Jason on my tail.
I swear he's exaggerating, glued to me like a stamp on the envelope.
"Jason, will you stay for dinner?" mom asks, coming closer.
"No, thank you so much, Miss Becca. I have some things to work on," he says and stares back at me.
I realize he's talking about my... our travel to Italy.
"Maybe next time, Jason," mom says and they share a short hug.
Jason curls an arm around me, kissing my temple.
"Call me when you want to go home," he whispers and turns to leave after I nod him in confirmation.
"Where is dad?" I ask mom.
"In his office, sweetheart," she replies, and I immediately turn towards the door, finding it closed. He must be busy. He always keeps the office door completely closed when he's working.
"I'm just going to tell him hi," I say and shift my steps towards dad's office.
"Tell them dinner is ready as well, sweetie," mom says, walking into the dining.
I knock lightly twice with my heart cringed hearing mom saying "them". I have a hunch on what "them" means but I still hope it's not it.
I cracked the door open, peeking my head inside.
"Hey, Dad," I tell him cheerfully once I'm inside but my words stumbled on my tongue seeing Enzo sitting on the leather sofa, across from dad.
It's too late to go back now, besides, I can already feel Enzo's scent, and it's pulling me deeper inside the room although my heart hurts.
I realize now just how much I've missed him. I want so much to run to him, to jump in his arms, to lean my head against his cheek and push his hand on my stomach, proudly telling him what a wonderful thing we've done.
But instead, I walk in, closing the distance between me and dad who is already walking towards me, arms stretched, pulling me into a hug.
"Hey, pumpkin," dad says holding me in his arms while I stare at Enzo who struggles to stand up, leaning against a walking cane, too slow for the eagerness I can clearly read in his eyes.
"Mamma says dinner is ready, guys," I tell them, trying to look composed.
I hesitate for a moment before saying hi to Enzo, and I wished so much I could skip that, but I also know that dad will become suspicious, so I believe it's better not to give him any reasons for that. I decide it's time to be Eveline before being Enzo's girl.
He walks a few steps towards me, his eyes like burning black coal staring harshly at me, and I walk a few steps to meet him halfway.
He grabs my waist with his left arm and crushes me to his chest, burying his nose in the crock of my neck with a deep sigh.
"Hey, uncle Enzo," I tell him and close my eyes, sniffing and filling my nostrils with his scent, diving deeper into his hug while I can feel his hand shaking, lying flat on my small back.
"Hey, amore," he whispers in a voice that only I can hear, and I escape a sobbing breath, wishing this moment never ends.
But I pull myself away from him and rub my sweaty palms on my hips, begging them to stop trembling.
"Mamma is waiting. Shall we?" I manage to mumble without gracing a look at any of them and walking to the door, trying to free myself from the allurement that Enzo is oozing through all the pores of his skin.
Once in the dining, my dad sits on my left side and mom on my right, while Enzo walks in slowly, helping himself with the cane, and takes the seat in front of me.
I know he's trying to catch my eyes, I can feel his stare burning me but I never give him a chance. I'm smiling at mom and dad, avoiding the area in front of me like one would run from a plague.
Mom fills the plates for us, all cheerful and glowing, glaring at me every five minutes, and I understand how much it means to her the fact that I'm here. She has a sparkle in her eyes, one that I've never seen before.
We make small talk, Enzo telling us he'll be in NY for the next six months and his work will double since new contacts are coming in.
Good. Hopefully, that will keep you out and let me be.
Dad offers to help, and they decide to meet in his office the next day.
Enzo says he's getting better, and he'll start therapy next week which will help him get rid of the cane in only a month. He has to use it even during therapy.
Doctors have advised on ensuring support for the weight of his body so that his knee is not overused and it heals properly.
I glare at them, shifting my eyes from one another and it feels like in a bubble, and I'm witnessing their talk from somewhere outside.
I watch them being so connected to each other and so engaged in their small discussion and I'm thrilled to see them all in one place, enjoying each other, like in old times.
I'm going to take this beautiful scene with me to Italy and I'm going to relive it every time I'll miss them.
"I'm moving to Italy," my brat lips move, and my brat tongue speaks, bringing on a splash of shock for everybody.
*****
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