Chapter 35
Angela’s POV
2 1/2 months later...
'Angela...'
'Angela...'
'Angela, wake up.' I heard and turned over. I didn't want to wake up I was so comfortable.
'What.' I said, hoping to go back to sleep.
'You need to wake up before Amanda gets up and see’s you here.' Derrick said.
I opened my eyes and saw Derrick's face looking at me. He had a huge smile. I tried to smile back but I was just too tired.
For the past few weeks we'd been sleeping in his room together. No sex but he just held me while I slept. We'd fool around but we still didn't go further than that. I knew both of us were having trouble about not crossing that line, I wanted to go further but something was still holding me back.
I sat up and took a few deep breaths and was going to lye down again when he put his hand on my back.
'Oh no you don't.' he said laughing.
'I’m tired.' I stated.
'Go back to sleep next to Amanda if you want but if she catches you in here she'll be asking a lot of questions.' He said.
'I think we should tell her. She's been really good lately and I can't sleep next to her forever, it's not normal.' I said to him, forcing my eyes to stay open.
'If we tell her that means you're staying in my bed?' he asked me.
I smiled and nodded my head.
He kissed me and I put my arms around the back of his neck to make him stay where he was.
I felt his tongue touch my upper lips and I parted my lips and his tongue touched mine. He brought his other hand around me to get me closer to him. Our lips moving together and our tongues touching was a great way to wake-up.
I let go of my hold on his neck and went to grab the bottom of his shirt and I heard him chuckle and he shook his head.
I broke the kiss to look at him and he just smiled at me. I looked at his clothes and he wasn't in his pajama's anymore. He was wearing his work uniform. I made a sound of disappointment and he laughed.
'How long have you been up?' I asked him.
'About an hour.' he confessed.
'That's why you taste like coffee. You could have told me, I would have had my coffee with you.' I told him.
He smiled, 'And maybe my shower too?' he said smirking at me.
'Maybe.' I said smiling.
We had taken a few showers together. Everyday I was feeling more and more comfortable with him.
Our first shower, I had felt so awkward. For him to see me naked in bed was one thing, plus the lights were off so I wasn't that visible. In the bathroom with the lights one, I felt so exposed. I guess he felt my nervousness and he closed the lights. It was dark, more than when we were in the bedroom but I remember I had smiled and my nerves calmed down and we got in the shower.
'Well then, I'll have to remember that for tomorrow.' he said to me.
I bit my lip to try and hide my smile.
'Even with a little bit of light, I still see you blushing.' he said, which didn't help my situation because it just made it worse and he laughed.
'I'll see you tonight?' He asked.
'Where else would we be?' I asked laughing.
When he didn't answer I pecked his lips, 'Yes, we'll be here.' I told him.
He smiled, 'Have a good day mon amour.' I said getting up from the bed.
He gave me one last kiss and started to leave the room.
'You too.' I said back.
When I heard the apartment door close I got up and made his bed. I went to the bathroom and then made my way to the kitchen to get some coffee.
Looking at the time, I knew Derrick was right, Amanda would be up soon. I went to the living room and lazily sat down on the couch.
………………………………………………………………………………..
'Mommy.'
'Mommy' I heard, crap I must have fallen asleep again.
I opened my eyes and there was Amanda next to the couch looking at me.
'Hi baby. How did you sleep?' I asked her.
'Good.' She said with a big smile.
'That's great honey!' I said, passing my hand over her hair.
She had a few "accidents" of wetting the bed. The first few times she was so scared of Derrick but when he'd smile at her and told her not to worry he helped me change the bed and that was the end of it. I'd wash the bed sheets and converter and he'd help me put it back together.
She had told me how he hadn't yelled at her or punished her and hadn't taken a toy away from here. I could tell that it was like 100 pounds had been lifted off her little shoulders.
Derrick and I both noticed after that, he had won her trust. She'd call him daddy all the time now and give him hugs and sometimes she even kissed him.
Last Tuesday had been a big week. Justin still came over, almost once a week. We'd all have diner together and we'd all laugh so much. Justin was getting closer with Amanda. She'd always call him Uncle Justin now, which surprised me. I had asked Justin how he was doing it and he said bribery. Derrick and I looked at each other and Derrick had asked how. Justin got a little bag out of his coat pocket and showed us a couple of Timbits, or balls like Amanda called them.
'Our daughter isn't a dog, you can't give her treats for her to love you.' Derrick had said.
'You're just mad because I thought of it before you.' Justin had said smiling.
But Justin was right, our daughter did love him. She didn't say it but she'd talk a lot more to him and it took less time than with Derrick. That night when I put Amanda to bed, she had said goodnight to Justin and had giving him a hug. When she went to Derrick she gave him a kiss and a hug but said, 'Goodnight daddy' and walked back to me. She turned around and added, 'I love you.' and then walked towards her room. We all froze and I looked at Derrick. 'Oh my gosh Dude! She said I love you!' Justin mouthed the words and you could barely hear him. He was like a kid, almost jumping while still sitting on the couch.
'Yeah...Okay, you guys heard that too...I didn't make it up right?' Derrick asked looking at Justin and me to make sure.
'She said it.' I told him smiling than I left the living room to help Amanda. I could hear the boys and Justin little cheer. I just laughed and kept walking to our bedroom.
'Mommy, can I have some milk?' Amanda asked me, bring me back to the present.
'Of course.' I said getting up. I stretched and made my way to the kitchen. When I came back the TV was on and she had found her cartoon channel. I gave her the sippy cup and I sat down next to her.
The first time she had turned on the TV and found the channel I was amazed. It took her less time to learn how it worked than me.
Derrick and I had started talking about schools for her but wasn't sure where to start. Derrick had told me he'd look into it for me which I was grateful.
'So what do you want to do today?' I asked Amanda.
'I want to go on the bus again. That's fun.' She said without taking her eyes away from the TV.
'Okay. You want to take the bus to go see daddy at work? We could surprise him?' I asked her.
She turned her head and gave me a big smile.
'Yeah! Yeah!' She yelled.
'Okay. We can go during lunch. I can pack us some sandwiches and juice and we could eat with him. How does that sound?' I asked her.
'Great.'
'Okay, I'll start making breakfast then after we’re done eating I'll give you your bath and I'll take my shower. Before we go, I'll prepare our lunch.' I said and she nodded.
I went to start breakfast and grab another coffee since the other one was probably cold.
The morning went by fast. Amanda was so excited to go on the city bus. The first time she had been so nervous. A lot of people in a small space but she had been amazing. When she saw people get off the bus and others come one, she got all excited. When we were getting to our stop I made her press the cord and we heard the bell and from then on, she was hooked.
Since then, everyday she wanted to go on the bus and press either the button or pull the cord. Some nice people would ask her if she wanted to press the button for them and she’d get all excited, nod her head and press the button when they told her too.
She was still cautious with strangers, which I was pleased about. I didn't want her to trust all strangers, because you never knew, but she wasn't scared of them like before. She didn't talk but she'd use her head to say yes or no just like she always did.
'You ready?' I asked Amanda when I saw the bus coming.
'Yeah!' She yelled since we were alone at the bus stop.
I smiled at her and waited for the bus to come to a stop.
She held my hand as she went up the 3 stairs and I paid for our ride with the money Derrick was leaving us. Amanda chose our seat and the bus started moving.
I watched as Amanda was all excited, looking at the people on the bus and the people who were walking outside. The houses we were passing, the stores and building.
Looking at her, watching the world and people doing there business was so exciting for her. My baby girl was finally realizing that this was life, not our room at Jesse's or staying indoors all the time at the apartment. I could tell she was getting more curious with the outside life which was amazing and a relief to see.
The last time I had seen Justin I had asked him which bus to take to get to the garage Derrick and him worked at. He had written it down for me while Derrick wasn't in the kitchen with us. For awhile I knew I wanted Amanda and I to surprise him at work but I didn't know which bus. When Amanda and I started taking the bus anywhere, I just wanted her and me to get used to it. When I saw how much she loved it I knew it was time to go see Derrick at work.
'Okay, I think we're close enough. You want to press the button?' I asked her.
Her eyes went big, nodded her head and she pressed the button.
When the bus stopped we got up and got out. Amanda waved to the bus driver and he smiled to her.
We always had to watch the bus leave and then she'd let me start to walk.
I looked around at our surrounding and I was surprised by how little things had changed. I knew exactly where I was and my nerves calmed down a bit knowing we weren't lost. The last thing I wanted to do was call Derrick at work with his cell phone to tell him we were lost and to come and pick us up.
We walked a few blocks with Amanda holding my hand, when I hear my name being called.
I turned around and saw Mary, my cousin who was supposed to be my maid of honor at Derrick and my wedding.
'Hi.' I said when she walked closer to us. She hadn't changed much except for her hair color.
'Hi, Oh my gosh! I can't believe it's really you!' She said, almost jumping on me to give me a hug but I didn't hug her back and I'd never let go Amanda hand.
'Yeah, it's me.' I said to her when she finally let me go.
'I've missed you so much! My mother talked to your parents the other day and they called me, anyways, I'm just so happy!' she said, almost yelling with excitement that I didn't return.
'They said you're living with Derrick?!' she asked. I was amazed at two things, she didn't even acknowledge my daughter, nor say hi to her and now she wanted gossip?
'Mary, this is Amanda, my daughter.' I said to her.
'Hi honey! Oh my god she looks so much like you! My mom said she's Derricks! Talk about luck. That's amazing.' she said.
Think of a happy place, you promised Amanda that you'd be nice and happy. Don't punch your cousin in the face, don't hit her. Think happy, think happy, I kept telling myself over and over again.
'Yeah, luck…amazing...' I said, looking around for help but knowing no one would.
'I don't know how you do it.' She said.
'Do what?' I asked, not understanding her comment.
'Well living with him after...you know.' She said.
'After...you know? No I don’t know, what?' I asked.
'Well, he never put any effort to find you. He stopped talking with everyone, like he erased you from his mind. It just hard to believe you'd forgive him after all of that.' She said.
Sorry Amanda, mommy going to blowup now, I said to myself.
I chuckled and I felt myself explode on her. 'How dare you. You have no idea what he went through or what we went through. You judge us like we actually care what you think when I never though about you until this very moment. You want me to judge him but look at you. You didn't call, you didn't look, you didn't ask, you don't care a rat’s ass about any of this. You want gossip? You're hair is ugly, that color doesn't suit you and you could probably lose 10 pounds. How about that, you want to gossip some more?' I said.
I know I had lost control, and the 10 pound remark was false but I didn't care. Insulting me is one thing but insulting the people that I actually care about is different.
'I know I'm not perfect, but at least I care. Before you judge others look at yourself in a freaking mirror. You insult my family, you insult my daughter’s father in front of her and you expect me to be nice and chitchat with you. Get real, get out of my face and if you ever come near me again, you won't just be getting my words. I thought you, my cousin, the girl who was suppose to be my maid of honor actually had a good heart and a head on her shoulders. But I guess while we were inside a tiny room you lost all of those things.' I said and turned around continued walking making sure I wasn’t walking to fast for Amanda.
I could feel Amanda's hand squeeze my fingers so I'd brush my thumb over her little fingers.
I had done only a few steps but stopped. I had forgotten my manners and I had to think happy.
I turned around a bit but not completely.
'Mary?' I said to her, when she looked at me, 'I hope you have a wonderful day.' I said giving her a nice smile. I turned back around and Amanda and I continued walking towards Derrick's work.
At least I could say I was a little nice.
****Please Vote and Comment! Thank You!****