Interior. Sonic Boom
Ally:(walks over with Kenzie to Austin and Dez, whom are playing on the xylophone grill) Guys! We finally finished the new song.
Kenzie: (sees what they are doing) What are you doing?
Dez:Xylophone grilling.
Austin:It's a way to combine my awesome music skills with Dez's mad cooking skills. (Dez accidentally flips a patty onto the window)
Dez:(takes the patty off of the window and offers it to Ally and Kenzie) Window burger?
Kenzie:No thanks, we're trying this new diet where we don't eat anything totally disgusting.
Trish:(enters the store in a giant cheese costume) Guess who got a job at Cheese out of My League?
Ally:Ooh, the high-end cheese store. That place is so much better than Cheese Just Okay. (turns to Austin) So, We just finished the song for our new webcast. It perfectly captures everything you're about. (puts the headphones on Austin) Listen. What do you think?
Austin:I love it!
Ally and Kenz:Yay!
Austin:(once Ally and Kenz are gone) I hate it.
Dez:Here. (gets a drum out that is filled with chili) Try it with my drum chili. (pours the chili onto the burger)
Austin:Not the burger; Ally and Kenzie's song! I don't like it.
Dez:Well, maybe my drum chili will help with that too. (pours drum chili onto Ally's music player)
Theme Song
Interior. Cheese out of my League
Trish:Thank you for shopping at Cheese out of My League! (her costume makes her bump into other cheese items)
Austin:(he is playing cheese equivalent of Go Fish with Dez) Got any cheddar?
Dez:Go fish. (Austin picks up a piece of cheese from the pile) Got any provolone? (Austin hands a piece of cheese to Dez; Dez bites it) This is monterey jack! (throws the cheese onto the floor) Cheater.
Austin:Sorry, I'm distracted. I can't stop thinking about Ally and Kenzie's song. The lyrics are so not me.
Dez:Well, if you don't feel like playing, I'm going to eat the deck.
Austin:I mean, check out these lyrics. (reads from the paper) I'm a sensitive guy, sad movies and sunsets make me cry. (stops reading from paper) I hate sad movies, and what kind of guy cries at sunsets?
Dez:Bye-bye Mister Sun. He won't be back until tomorrow. (starts crying)
Trish:Man, I hate this job. My entire uniform is made out of real cheese, including my underwear!
Dez:I wear cheese underwear all the time! I love it. I really feel like I can breathe in it, especially the swiss.
Trish:Why would you do that?
Dez:Because the goat cheese is too squishy!
Austin:Guys! What am I going to do? I don't like Ally and Kenzie's song, but if I tell them, it'll hurt their feelings.
Dez:There's only one thing you can do.
Trish:I never thought I'd say this, but Dez is right. Be honest with them.
Dez:(at the same time as Trish's last sentence) Give Ally a pickle basket and Kenzie a pie. (gets hit by Trish's cheese costume) Ow! What? Ally loves pickles and Kenz loves pecan pie!
Trish:They also love honesty.
Dez:Well I don't have an honesty basket. I only have a pickle basket and a pecan pie.
Austin:I guess I'll tell Ally and Kenz the truth. There's nothing to be afraid of. (turns around to see Ally & Kenz and screams)
Kenzie:Are you screaming because you're as excited about the webcast as We are?
Austin:Yeah. You both know me so well.
Ally:This is the best song we've ever written! It's perfect for you!
Austin:Yeah, about that, I need to tell you two something. I-I-Guys, little help?
Dez:Can't talk; got cheese in my mouth.
Trish:And I'm not here.
Ally:Uh, anyway, before I forget, we both invited some friends over to watch you tape the webcast. I want to see their faces when you sing our most awesome song ever! So, what were you going to tell us?
Austin:Uh... That I got Ally a pickle basket and Kenz this Pecan Pie!
Ally:Aw, thank you. I like pickles!
Kenzie: thanks I love Pecan Pie
Interior. Ally and Kenzie's Practice Room
Austin:(in a raspy tone) Ally,Kenz, bad news. I can't do the webcast today; I lost my voice.
Kenzie:Oh no, that's terrible!
Austin:I know, I feel awful. We're going to have to reschedule; there's just- (speaks in normal tone) No way, that girl is cute! (tries to follow the girl; Ally and Kenz pull him back)
Ally:Your voice is fine. (laughs) I get it. You're just messing with us; I can do that too. Hey, I'm writing you a bad song!
Austin:Ha ha, that would be funny.
Dez:You ready, Austin? We're live in 5, 4, 3, 2, (whispers) 1
Austin:What's up? I'm Austin Moon, and this is my webcast. I guess I'm going to sing a new song. (Ally, Kenz, and Trish clap before everyone else does) But, um, um, first, I thought I would dance! (puts the microphone down) Hit it. (DJ plays music; Austin dances)
Kenzie:What's he doing? Is he stalling?
Trish:No, people don't dance when they stall.
Ally:So why isn't he singing our song?
Trish:Uh... (starts dancing)
Ally:(moves closer to Austin) Sing the song!
Austin:What?
Ally:Sing the song, Ooh! (the camera focuses on her before she moves away)
Austin:Can't hear you; dancing.
Kenzie:Just sing the stupid song! (Dez turns around and almost points the camera at Kenzie, but she pushes him back towards Austin) No!
Austin:Well, if you think the song is stupid, I probably shouldn't perform it. Thanks for watching; see you next week. I'm out!
Ally:Why didn't you sing our new song? (Austin mumbles something that cannot be interpreted) What? (he mumbles more incomprehensible nonsense) What?
Austin:I'm sorry, Ally,Kenz but I didn't like the song. (he walks out)
Kenzie:Dez, did you know about this?
Dez:Well, I uh- (makes odd noises as he dances his way out of the room. Ally and Kenzie turn around to face Trish who starts dancing again)
Interior. Ally and Kenzie's Practice Room
Ally:(Austin is playing the piano; she and Kenzie walk in and he stops) Austin! Why didn't you just tell us you hated the song?
Austin:I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Ally:So it was better to embarrass us in front of a million people on the Internet?
Austin:You really think a million people were watching? Look, it's a good song, but it's all about how serious and sensitive I am. That's not me. That's you Ally. Kenz is more Dance is Everything, and I'm more chill; what up?
Ally:I can be chill. What's up?
Austin:Oh yeah, that's chill. Look, the point is, Ally,Kenz, I feel like you don't even know me. I like having fun; I break some rules; I color outside the lines!
Kenzie: honestly, Same
Ally:Why do you two have both a coloring book?
Austin:I just told ya; I'm fun!
Kenzie: Their fun plus their relaxing
Ally:I'm fun too! I can color outside the lines. (picks up a crayon) I can't color outside the lines. Okay, uh, maybe we don't know each other that well. We've only been partners for a little while.
Austin:Hey, what if we hang out more? I bet if we get to know each other better, it could help our songwriting.
Ally:That's a great idea. I can do stuff Kenz likes, She can do stuff you like and you can do stuff I like.
Austin:Cool. What are we going to do?
Ally:Um. (picks up a light blue shirt that says CLOUD WATCHING) My Cloud Watching Club meets in five minutes.
Kenzie: and Als my Dance practice is in five minutes so bye (walks away)
Austin:(with sarcasm) Oh, yay.
Interior. Mall of Miami
Ally:Ooh, ooh, look! That cloud looks like a car with wings. (the other members jot that down and ooh) Oh! And that one's a pineapple on a canoe. (the members let out ahs) What do you see, Austin?
Austin:A big, white, puffy thing. (he receives boos from the other members)
Ally:C'mon, you're not even trying.
Austin:Okay, okay. I see a snowman eating marshmallows.
Ally:Eh, wrong! It's a bunny on a bicycle. Uh, how can you not see that? Can you believe this guy?
Austin:Okay, now I know you better. You like really lame things. (Ally pointedly glares at him) Can we go do my things now?
Ally:Uh, if you can think of something more fun than cloud watching, I'm all ears.
Austin:I'm taking you to a horror movie fest.
Dez:I was supposed to go with you to that.
Ally:Ugh, I hate horror movies. They're so boring.
Austin:More boring than staring at clouds all afternoon?
Dez:Yeah, that's the boringest thing I've ever heard. Hey, check it out! A bunny on a bicycle.
Austin:It's not a bunny on a bicycle! (walks away)
Ally:It's a bunny on a bicycle.
Dez:Oh yeah.
Ally:Oh yeah.
Interior. Fright Fest, at a local movie theater
Austin:How did you both not like Swamp Bride? There was a wedding! Girls love weddings.
Kenzie:(deadpan)The swamp guy ate the bridesmaids.
Austin:They ran out of appetizers!
Ally:Ugh! This stuff is just silly. I-I mean, chewy eyeballs and chocolate intestines?
Austin:Don't forget red veins. Oh yeah. (bites into one) (sees Walter) Hey Walter.
Ally:Hi Walter!
Kenzie: sup Walter!
Walter:Oh, don't hey, hi, sup,Walter me. You littered in my theater!
Austin:We didn't litter.
Walter:Oh yeah? Look what I found underneath your seat. Recognize this? (his gloved fist opens up to reveal a piece of popcorn)
Kenzie:Uh, yeah. It's popcorn.
Walter:Aha! How would you know that if you didn't litter?
Ally:Uh, because we've seen popcorn before?
Walter:(heads toward Austin) I'm watching you. (turns toward Ally and Kenzie)both of You too.
Kenzie:(Zalien Dez tries to sneak up on her; when she turns around, he makes a sound effect) Uh, hi Dez. What are you supposed to be? An alien zombie?
Dez:No, a zombie alien. I'm a zalien, character from my favorite thirteen movies of all time. Zaliens, Zaliens 2, Zaliens 3, Zaliens 4, Zaliens 5, Zaliens 7-
Ally:Uh! Uh, yeah, you forgot Zaliens 6.
Dez:Ugh, that movie stinks. I wish I could forget it.
Nelson:(walks up to Austin,Kenzie, and Ally as Dez walks away) Hey guys. I'm ready for the fight fest! (starts punching the three; it doesn't hurt)
Ally:Uh, whoa, Nelson, it's a fright fest, not a fight fest.
Nelson:Aw nartz! I practiced my right hook all week.
Austin:Well, keep practicing. (Trish walks up just as Dez comes back and Nelson leaves)
Trish:Guess who's ready to get her zalien on? (Ally and Kenzie scream)
Dez:Seriously? We're wearing the same costume, but you're scared of her?
Ally & Kenzie: we're scared because you guys have something in common. (Trish and Dez turn around, face each other and scream)
Dez:Best Zalien movie ever?
Trish:Uh, duh! Zaliens 3: Brain Eaters from Beyond. Best scene in that movie?
Dez:Uh, duh! When the zaliens take the shape of teachers and eat the football team's brains.
Trish:Okay, okay! No biggie. So we have a few things in common. That doesn't make us friends. It could just be a coincidence.
Dez:Favorite number between one and a billion?
Trish & Dez: (simultaneously) Two! (they scream again)
Trish: Zalien brain suck! (She and Dez put a hand on each other's heads and make strange noises as they spin round and round)
Ally:Okay, now this is the scariest thing I've seen all day.
Austin:I think it's kinda cool that they have something in common. Wish we were more like them. BRAIN SUCK! (puts his hand on Ally's head and makes weird noises)
Ally:(moves his hand) Don't suck my brain. Okay, uh, so we don't like the same stuff, but at least we're getting to know each other! And now, it's Kenzie's turn, so fasten your seat belt because you're about to take a ride on the fun train. A whoo whoo!
Interior. Mall
Austin:The mall? (throws a stone at the wall) I think the fun train let us off at the wrong station. (sadly) Whoo whoo.
Kenzie: Hey, I come here for creative inspiration. (heads to claire's) I shop in this store, watch the people, and write lyrics in my songbook. (sits down on chair) Have a seat.
Austin:I'm not sitting on that chair.
Ally:Do you have to hate everything we like?
Austin:No, the chair has a keep off sign on it.
Kenzie: aww. (stands up) Ugh. Anyway, uh, I write all my best songs here. Well, with the help of Pie.
Ally:we already know you like pie; can we go now?
Kenzie: (grabs onto her and Austin's arms) No no no, no! Uh, that's my favorite pie place. (the camera pans over to show a cafe) I've been coming to hang with him since I was a little girl. eating here helps me when I have writer's block because my dad used to take me here.
Austin:I get it. It's kinda why I like horror movies. There's something about monsters slurping up brains that gets me psyched to perform!
Kenzie: Don't you love this pie?
Austin:I guess. (A bit of Pie gets thrown at him by Ally) Okay, It's Delicious!
Kenzie:Oh no! They're getting rid of the cafe tomorrow! They're making this into a shoe store! Where am i gonna get my special pie when i miss my dad?
Austin:Maybe they could move it next to that store with the ducks on the window.
Ally:That's a Chinese restaurant.
Austin:Okay, calm down, we'll call the mangement and... What are you guys doing? (sees Ally and Kenzie grabbing the rest of the pie and another one without paying)
Kenzie: Stealing a Pie. I need my special Pie! What else is going to help me write your songs with Ally?
Austin:Ally, are you breaking the rules? Awesome! I never thought I'd see Ally and Kenzie Dawson dressed as a swamp bride, stealing a Pie and running from a security guard!
Ally:We're not running from a security guard.
Austin:We should be.
Security Guard:Freeze! [turns on light and flashes it at Ally; she screams and runs away; Austin laughs until the light is on him and then he runs too the light hits Kenzie who starts crying]
Interior. Movie Theater
Dez:[exchanges a look with Trish before scaring the guy in front of him] Blegh!
Trish:I'm sorry, my friend here is really childish. I promise he won't do that again. [shares another look with Dez and scares two people in front of her]
Ally:[she and Austin run into the theater] Why did we come back here? and where's Kenz?
Austin: We had to get away from that security guard! And I don't know.
Ally:You just want to watch the end of Zaliens 5.
Austin: Then we're killing two birds with one stone. [Ally hits his arm] It's just an expression. We're not killing any birds.
Walter: Shhhh! No talking during the movie.
Ally:Wait, no, Walter, uh, that was-
Austin: Me! I talked not her.
Walter:Excuse me? I'm warning ya, kid, that talking during a movie will not be tolerated in my theater.
Austin: Sorry Walter, I meant to...
Walter: Apology accepted. I'm still watching you. Hey, who littered? That better be a real eyeball, and not a gummy one.
Austin & Ally sneak down to two empty seats by Trish and Dez. Ally bump into Trish.
Trish:What's on your dress?
Ally:Kenzie's special Pecan Pie. We need to find her a new cafe because they're tearing down her pie place.
Nelson: Shhhhh!
Trish:Where's Kenz?
Ally:we don't know. Maybe she got caught.
Austin:There's popcorn on the floor. I think we'd hear if she was coming wouldn't we?
Ally:Okay. (suddenly realizes Dez is missing) Uhh, where did Dez go?
Trish looks around for him when he suddenly pops up from below the seats behind them.
Dez:Hey guys. Did you know there was free popcorn down here?
Dez ducks back down below the seats as Trish and Ally look at each other in disgust. He crawls in front of the audience members in that row, behind them apologizing to each patron, then pops up between the seats between Ally and Austin.
Dez:We've got a little problem.
Ally:You've got a little problem. You're eating popcorn off the floor.
Dez:No. Kenz is missing duh
Ally:Ohh, we've got to get her back.
Nelson: OW! Something just bit me! (Austin & Ally try to hush him up, but it's no use.) Ow! It bit me again! There's a Zalien in here!
Ally:It - It's not a Zalien. It's a puppy?
Dez:(in a spooky voice) A zombie puppy!
The Puppy barks as it runs around the movie theater and hassles random patrons. Briefly it pokes it head behind the seat between Ally and Austin and barks at them. Ally tries to grab him, but he gets away. The puppy begins bumping the seats under each movie goer in the row in front of Team Austin, pushing them up in the air, causing them to spill their popcorn, soda, and other concessions like dominoes, then proceeds to the row that contains Team Austin, and finally the section under Nelson, who promptly panics.
Nelson: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
Chaos erupts as most of the moviegoers flee for the exits. Walter steps in with Kenz and tries to keep order, while Dez and Trish stand around making fun of walter.Kenz and Walter spot the Puppy, and the usher is on the warpath.
Walter: That's it, Puppy! Nobody wrecks my theater!
The Puppy is equally enraged and pees right onto Walter's shoe. Dez and Trish stand in shock, as the puppy repeatedly bites Walter's anckle and Kenzie picks him up.
Austin:This is awesome!
Ally:Awesome? The puppy just caused a panic in the theater and Just attacked Walter. How can you be laughing?
Austin:Because, the puppy just caused a panic in the theater and just attacked Walter. It's funny. You've got to look at things my way sometimes, and stop being so serious.
Ally:(As the puppy continues to try to escape kenzie and attack Walter) You're right. That is kind of funny.
Austin:Hey, Walter. Shhhh! There's no screaming in the theater. (Team Austin minus Kenzie laugh at him)
Interior. Sonic Boom
Austin walks in to find Kenzie sitting on a chair knitting as The Puppy Stevie stands on the floor next to her.
Austin:What are you doing?
Kenzie: uncle let me keep Stevie. (Stevie chases his own tail) So I'm doing some online shopping ordering him some supplies. (Stevie falls down; Ally comes in and shows Austin her work. She walks up to the counter and Austin follows her)
Austin: Yesterday was fun. I'm glad we got to hang out.
Ally:Me too. I feel like we really know each other now. So we're different -- It makes us better partners.
Austin:Totally. Kenz, You sure you're gonna be okay without your special Pie place?
Kenzie: Yeah. I kind of realized I don't need pie to help me write songs anymore. I've got a new puppy. I named him after my daddy because it was the memory of my dad that helped not the pie.
Austin:Cool! You named a Puppy after him? What kind is he?
Kenz:It's cause i miss him. and he's a Labrador retriever.
Austin:Why?
Kenzie:(briefly looking at him as if she was about to tell more than she wanted him or anyone to know)Because He died three years ago. but I now have stevie, so I don't need Pie anymore.
Austin:Oh. That's really sweet Kenz. (Kenzie briefly chuckles at him. Austin walks towards a piano, Kenz and Ally follow him.) You wanna go work on the new song for the webcast?
Ally:we already wrote one. we think you're going to like it much better than the other one.
Ally sits down at a piano in the store and Austin and Kenzie sit next to her. Ally starts off playing the song "It's Me, It's You", which almost immediately cuts to the music video performed by Austin. The video is a montage of scenes emphasizing the differences between the pop-star,dancer, and songwriter, which include lots of singing and dancing by Austin, appearances by a now injured Walter, Dez, Trish,Kenzie, Nelson, lots of attempts by Ally to avoid being filmed, Austin sleeping, etcetera.
Interior. Sonic Boom
Austin,Kenz, and Ally are sitting behind the counter with their own coloring books.
Ally:I forgot how much fun coloring was.
Austin & Kenz: Du'uh. (Ally smiles at them, almost ready to laugh)
Trish and Dez walk into the store with light jacket and a button down shirt as if they're hiding something underneath them, because they are.
Trish:Guess who got a job at Tee-Shirt World? (Opens her jacket to reveal a picture of Dez)
Dez:Guess who gets a best friend discount? (Opens his shirt to reveal a picture of Trish)
Kenzie:Me, and Ally are so happy you guys like hanging out together. And by "happy," I mean totally weirded out.
Trish:Why? We like the same favorite horror movie, the same favorite number, and the same favorite pizza toppings; Pepperoni.
Dez:(at the same time as Trish's last sentence) Mushrooms.
Trish and Dez:(also simultaneously) Mushrooms?!/Pepperoni?! UGH!
Trish:I can not be friends with someone who likes Mushrooms!
Dez:Well, I can't be friends with someone who likes... Pepperoni.
Ally:You guys are gonna end your friendship over something as silly as a pizza topping?
Dez:It's not just pizza topping. First, she likes pepperoni. Then, she doesn't want to get it delivered because she thinks we don't get out enough. But sometimes I'm tired and I just want to watch TV!
Trish:Why are you so tired all the time? I'm the one who works at least 2 jobs a day! (Dez walks out the back door and Trish follows him)
Austin:Well, everything's back to normal.
Kenzie: Let's see what you've got.
Ally:You're both gonna be so proud of me. I colored outside the lines.
Austin:Where'd you color outside the lines?
Ally:Uh, right there. (Austin and Kenzie grab the coloring book and starts scribbling maniacally all over the page) No! Stop!
Austin:(Austin and Kenzie continue to color all over the page) Who's outside the lines now?
Ally:You guys broke my crayon!