5:30 PM
➤ 5:30 PM ALARM: counseling session, or whatever
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The meeting room for the weekly counseling sessions was a little more packed than usual today.
There were two new students sitting side by side. They weren't delinquents, and they looked rather out of place as they sat in annoyance in the room.
You'd actually focus on them, if it weren't for Akaza and Douma fighting on their side of the table.
"I almost got expelled for beating up two students just recently," Akaza bellowed, slamming his hand down on the table and standing up to look down at Douma. "Don't make me punch you, too, dick-head."
"But all I was doing was poking you!" Douma whined. He backed away from Akaza's proximity slightly, hands facing up in defense.
The others, for the most part, were quiet: Gyuutarou close to dozing off, Daki doing her makeup, Nakime waiting idly, Kaigaku playing on his phone, Kokushibou sitting with boredom, Muzan—
"What happened to your face?" you asked him, pointing a tad rudely at the square of gauze pads on his cheek. There was a noticeable mark underneath it, and the edges of it showed.
"That's none of your business," he snarled with a glare in your direction.
"He got decked by that med student over there," Daki laughed, pointing over to one of the two newcomers to the counseling session.
"I have a name," the med student complained quietly. Your eyes immediately lit up in recognition of the person.
"Tamayo!"
She sighed, "Hello, Y/N." Tamayo then threw a tired, yet kind smile at you. "I'm so glad that someone actually decent is here to join me and Yushirou—"
"I forgot to take your hand in marriage," you interjected. "So you're wifey #5 now!"
"Wh-what," she began confusedly with a cute head tilt, "does that mean?"
"We're married!"
"I don't think I have any complaints to that," Tamayo smiled innocently.
"Well I'm wifey #1," Daki stated proudly. She leaned closer to Tamayo in an attempt to rub her self-proclaimed victory in her face; But Tamayo just thought she was being weird.
"Wait what about me?" Yushirou, who was seated next to Tamayo, asked. Like Tamayo, he was also a med student, and he was always seen to be accompanying her. You had met the two of them one day through Kagaya, who introduced you.
"You can be hubby number," you trailed off. "Fuck, how many are there again?"
"12," Kokushibou groaned out in annoyance.
"Then you're number 10, Yushirou!" you declared.
"What?" Douma exclaimed in displeasure. "He doesn't go to the bottom? Like, 13?"
"Nope."
"But why?" Douma whined. "That means I'm moving down!"
"I'm moving him above you, Kokushibou, and Giyuu," you began to explain, "because I'm still mad at the three of you for being mean to Rui and Kiriya."
"Unfair!" Douma complained.
"The list is stupid, anyways," Kokushibou sighed out.
You took out your phone, glaring at him, "I can send the squirrel pics, mister."
Kokushibou noticeably tensed from this; his shoulders had stiffened, and his eyes widened in panic of being exposed.
"You still have them?" he asked you in disbelief.
"I can send the videos, too."
"You took videos?"
"Of course I did!" you smiled.
"Squirrel pics?" Gyuutarou echoed, eyes narrowed in suspicion and tone laced with curiosity. "What the fuck are those?"
"Nothing!" Kokushibou immediately denied.
"In other news," Nakime piped up quietly. "Before you came here, Y/N, some advisor or whatever also wanted you to settle the dispute with Tamayo and Yushirou."
To you, that made a lot more sense in the situation. Immediately concluding that the dispute was between them and Muzan, you figured both Tamayo and Yushirou were only here for this one counseling session, and they wouldn't be a regular visitor here.
"So who wants to explain what happened?" you questioned the trio.
Yushirou breathed in, and started off, "Muzan Kibutsuji is a bitch ass motherfucker—"
"My love, please don't make this harder for me," you groaned.
"They just hold unnecessary and unreasonable hate for me," Muzan grumbled. "That's all."
"'Unnecessary and unreasonable'?" Yushirou repeated in disbelief.
"You stole chemicals from the lab and framed me for it!" Tamayo glared at him. You only sighed. "They don't believe my innocence, and now I'm being questioned because of you!"
I need to get fucking paid for this shit.
"You just happened to be at wrong place at the wrong time," Muzan shrugged. "But you didn't need to punch me."
"You delinquents are a different breed," you sighed again. "Whether a breed of chaotic energy or pure stupidity, I'll never know."
"Both!" Daki smiled.
"I'm gonna have to agree with that one, chief," Kaigaku voiced.
"Muzan," you called out. "Can you just, like, come clean and admit it was you who stole them?"
"And get in trouble?" he sneered. "No, I'm not stupid."
"That doesn't mean you needed to get me in trouble," Tamayo argued.
"It was time for your perfect student record to change, anyways," Muzan shrugged off.
Yushirou looked just about ready to fight the delinquent leader for his nonchalance alone.
➤ 1 new message!
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Private Message
Kagaya >
..............................
〈Kagaya〉
You're in a counseling
session right now, right?
Y/N is now online
〈Y/N〉
yee
〈Kagaya〉
Our advisor is asking about
the dispute?
A student punched my half
cousin, I think.
〈Y/N〉
oh.
uhhh
he stole lab chemicals and
framed it on her
〈Kagaya〉
Oh D':
Guess I have to tell the
advisor
〈Y/N〉
can u protect him from getting
expelled?
〈Kagaya〉
Probably.
I was already planning on it
〈Y/N〉
that would be great
🙏🙏
〈Kagaya〉
I'm glad you're getting along
with them!
〈Y/N〉
i guess you can say that?
it's more like-
actually, idk LOL
〈Kagaya〉
I'm sure you're doing fine (:
Okay, I'll go report this to
the advisor so the situation
can get cleaned up
〈Y/N〉
aight-
god bless
thanks prez!
〈Kagaya〉
Of course!
Good luck with the rest
of the session!
Y/N is now offline
Kagaya is now offline
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"Before you start fighting," you called out to the group. "It's already all been settled."
Tamayo and Yushirou looked at you in pure relief, whilst Muzan threw you a look of both bewilderment and distrust.
"What do you mean?" he asked incredulously.
"Don't worry, boo," you nonchalantly reassured. "You'll be fine."
His eyes narrowed in suspicion as he opened his mouth to talk, but then quickly shut it. You just assumed that meant he trusted you to work behind the scenes.
"I better not get expelled," he glared.
"I hope you do," Yushirou remarked.
"I'm pretty sure the both of you can leave now," you told both Tamayo and Yushirou. "And I'd advise you do that before war breaks out, or something."
"You're okay here on your own, Y/N?" Tamayo asked with concern.
"I do this every week," you laughed tiredly. "I'm fine."
Reluctantly, they took your word for it, and hesitantly exited the room, leaving you alone with the delinquent group once again.
"So," you started, looking at the group, "let's start our weekly game of Cards Against Humanity?"
Everyone grinned.
Weekly "counseling sessions" were bullshit.
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➤ ALARM: The fanart below was created by @Weirdd_P4NdA ✨✨ [i love you :3]
➤ [Brothers] When Kokushibou was getting chased by squirrels:
➤ ALARM: The meme below was created by @bitxhy_waifu ✨✨
➤ [Zoo] The trio stealing the snake:
➤ ALARM: The memes below were created by @-MYCIELO ✨✨
➤ [Brothers] When Y/N was laughing at Kokushibou's misery:
➤ ALARM: The memes below were created by @Certified_Maniac ✨✨
➤ ALARM: The meme below was created by yukijikamiyama ✨✨