Picture of Ant!
Ringing the bell three times I wait impatiently and fiddle with my fingers nervously. I feel my body shiver with need and want as I try and calm my hyperactive nerves.
This is what addiction felt like.
The constant desire for a high was burning a whole through me.
Finally after what felt like hours the door opens swiftly as I am greeted by puff of smoke. A head of read hair peeks through the haze followed by a pair of the greenest eyes is ever known.
"Hey you're early." He says cocking his head to the side as he took another hit off his bong.
"Yeah hard times call for hard drugs." I say twisting my smile into a smirk knowing he had just the right stuff to ease my state of mind.
He nods understandingly as he ushers me into the dark and misty room. The smell of weed instantly hits me as I walk in and I inhale sharply allowing the smoke to enter my lungs. Ahh the inexplicable sensation.
We walk through the familiar hallway into a larger room with a large table covered with an assortment of little bags and plastic bottles.
"Take your pick Crash" he says winking at me as he takes a seat on the tattered couch watching me intently. Louis was a strange character. Standing a good head taller than most people, his built and muscled figure towered over everything. You'd be surprised that he had so much muscle when he basicAlly never left his little apartment.
I've known him since high school, but he kept to himself most of the time. He was an honors student, top of our class, even had a full ride to Harvard as a junior. He's probably the smartest person I know. But he was sent to Juvy for getting caught with a gram of coke. Now look at this kid. He had enough drugs to get a small town higher than the Empire State. But enough said.
I walk over to the table looking over it with hungry and eager eyes. Smiling to myself I grab a little bag of six pills and hold it up to Louis. He smiles mischievously letting out a small laugh as he puts down his bong for the first time.
"60 bucks. But for you, I'll throw in a little bit of this shit." He says grabbing a strip of something from the table and handing it to me. I shoot him my most charming look appreciating his generosity. I reach for my wallet and pull out 80$. I hand it to him as he raises an eyebrow confused.
"I know you. You don't give things without wanting something in return, and I'm not in the mood for what you are." I say surly as I hand him the money. He reaches for it reluctantly and tosses it into a box of cash beside him.
"Thanks for the stuff Louis. You have no idea how much I need this right now." I say as I turn and start walking down the hallway We came from. I hear his footsteps behind me as I reach the door and open it. He mumbles a quiet goodbye as I walk out of his apartment, turning around to see him leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed tightly to his chest. He forces a small smile as he turns swiftly and walks back into the apartment, slamming the door behind him. I chuckle lightly as I hurriedly make my way out into the cold. Good old trusty Louis.
Trudging through the thin layer of snow that had started to fall, I finally can make out our tiny little apartment building through the thick fog. Quickly making my way towards it I stumble inside to escape the harsh and cold weather. As I get into the elevator I reach for the bag of pills and quickly pop one in my mouth pushing the button for the doors to close. The elevator reaches my floor, and I can already feel it kicking in.
Yes. This is perfection. I fumble around for the keys in my coat jacket, scavenging through empty gum wrappers and unused match sticks clumsily. Suddenly the door swings open almost knocking me off of my feet as I struggle to stabilize myself in my light headed state.
"Where have you been? I was so worried Crash! It's 3 in the morning! 3 in the fucking morning! I couldn't even fall asleep, and Ant kept telling me that you left us and ..." She trails off as she looks at me with a worried expression pleading for a response. But I could tell it was just a facade. she was incapable of true human compassion. I know sounds harsh, but I also happen to have a very good understanding of O. She was one of those eccentric free spirits you know? Doesn't believe in settling down, and she has a hard time with commitment. That being said, she is also one of the sweetest, and most caring person I know, to my face at least. I knew she treated me just like she treated Ant and the dozen other guys she saw. Me and ant just happened to be the lucky ones she came home to.
Bottom line is her love is toxic. she tosses it at anyone who wants it, but it was hard to not lover her back. Even though I knew exactly who she was, and what she did, I still can't help but love her. I guess it's like unconditional love people speak of. I'm not quiet sure what kind of love I have for her, but I know this love is real for me. I can't say the same for her.
My lips purse into a thin line as I debate on how to deal with her. Deciding against telling her about my day, I slap on a smile and envelope her in a big hug. I snuggle into her hair as I feel her grip me tightly. Looking over her shoulder I see Ant sitting on the kitchen counter shirtless, eating a bowl of cereal in all his glory. Diverting my eyes quickly I let go of O and look her straight in her eyes.
"I was just out seeing an old friend and lost track of time." I say reassuringly selling her my most genuine smile. She smiles back whole heartedly as she responds "alright. It's just you haven't been around lately. We miss you.".
"Uh no. You miss him. I barely even notice when he's here or not , doesn't really make a difference to me. " Ant cuts in from behind her in a teasing tone. He shoots me a toothy grin proudly displaying his one dimple cheekily. I shake my head laughing slightly as I walk past O and into the kitchen. I hear her close the door behind me and follow suit. She reaches for my hand entwining her thin fingers in mine as she pulls me towards the living room sofa. She quickly pushes me onto the sofa in one swift movement and climbs on to me tugging at my blonde locks ever so slightly.
She leans in slowly and places a small kiss on the corner of my lips. The feeling of her closeness quickly reminds me of Hayden and this morning, and I can't help but wince at the memory. Trying to rid the thought out of my head I reach forward and capture her lips in a soft and gentle kiss. She reciprocates and gingerly traces my jawline eagerly leaning into me.
The sofa gently shifts under our weight as I feel Ants presence next to us. Opening my eyes the slightest I see Ant sitting cross legged beside us watching intently with cereal and spoon still in his hands. O continues to massage my lips with hers as she reaches under my shirt to caress my body. She was being so gentle and loving, it made me feel good.
I close my eyes willing myself to enjoy the heightened sensation and ignore Ants prying eyes. Suddenly I feel cold fingers touching the delicate skin on my neck. I pull myself away from O reluctantly and glare at Ant as he is touching me. The feeling of his cold fingers on my bare skin made my body respond in weird ways I didn't like. I keep my eyes trained On ant as I feel O shift closer towards my body.
"Anthony what are you doing?" I ask unaware of how low and coarse my voice had gotten. He looks up at me as if he had just broken out of a trance, an unreadable expression clouding his features. He quickly snaps out of it and gets up off the couch taking his cereal I didn't notice he left on the ground. He walks away and into the kitchen as if nothing had even happened. I watch after him confused in more ways than one.
"Hey I'm right here crash" Ophelia says cupping my head and turning me to face her possessively. She looks at me adamantly and leans in biting down on my lip and kissing me roughly. I pull her hair abruptly forcing her lips off of mine. I gently push her off my legs and get up off the couch taking long strides into the kitchen, losing interest with O. Anthony is sitting in the same spot he was before, still working on the same bowl of cereal. He nods at me acknowledging my prescience and returns to his bowl of cereal with a gruff hey.
I open the fridge to pull out a box of chocolates (which I stole for O) and scan through the list of flavors absentmindedly.
"You know I got a job today" I say surprising myself by bringing it up. I wasn't planning on telling Ant or O yet, but I had a strong urge to tell him. It was probably the pill, it makes me act impulsively. He looks up from his bowl of cereal with an eyebrow raised in disbelief.
"No way! Where? Let me guess, the brothel down the street?Or perhaps you've decided to answer to you're true calling and become a male stripper. Wait no. I bet you've become a one man band singing Mika songs as the teenage girls swoon over your sweet moves and irresistible charm while you drop kick a fat ginger in the head" he comments in a humorous tone. I laugh inwardly as I plop a piece of peanut butter chocolate in my mouth, enjoying the sweetness on my taste buds.
"Hey I happen to know a ginger! And he takes offense." I say chatting random shit to keep us talking. He lets out a bark of a laugh and hops off the counter walking towards me. He leans over my shoulder and scans the box of chocolates as if he was contemplating a major life decision. After minutes of his indecisiveness I let out a groan and pick out a orange cream sickle chocolate offering it to him impatiently. He grins from ear to ear as he takes it from me and bites in to it eagerly.
Ant has a thing for fruit flavored chocolate, but personally, i think it tastes like cough syrup yuk. But hey more peanut butter goodness for me.