Chapter 25
Season 3, Episode 24-25
It's finally here. After a whole year of working our asses off, it's finally time to take the intern exam. Just like anyone else, I've been taking tests my whole life and honestly, I've never been nervous before. I was always a smart kid, weird and closed off, but smart. My teachers saw it in me and pushed me.
I went to medical school because I finally realized how to make life worth living. The test today will either make it all worth it, or everything will fall apart. This is the first time I've been scared before taking a test. It's also the most prepared I've ever been before a test.
We've all been working each other to the bone, day and night quizzing each other. Last week our study group lost George to Callie but the five of us are still going strong. I will admit though, I am starting to feel the strain as we sit in the kitchen barely awake.
"How do you treat pancreatic divisum, Izzie?" Cristina quizzes her and when I look over, her eyes aren't even open as she sits at the table. I sigh, taking a sip of my coffee before answering.
"Dorsal duct sphincterotomy," I mumble, voice hoarse from talking all night. I can taste my breath and it smells nasty.
"Not your turn." Cristina scolds. "But correct."
"I can't keep my eyes open." Izzie moans from beside me before sliding her mug over to me. "Refill?"
"I can't believe O'Malley's missing this. How's he gonna be ready?" Alex mutters as he shuffles through our study cards. Cristina managed to get them from Callie a couple of nights ago which is why she's been forcing us awake. These cards are gold.
"You're kidding, right? We have Callie's cards, but George has-" Cristina starts to complain before Izzie cuts her off.
"George has Callie." She says looking off into the distance as I bring back her mug, now filled with coffee. My legs still seem to be working so I'm on coffee duty apparently.
"What's the most frequent cause of diarrhea in hospitalized patients?" Alex asks no one in particular but Cristina seems to be wide awake which I don't understand.
"Salmonella," Cristina states confidently before Meredith walks into the room.
"Diarrhea in hospitalized patients." I clarify for her and she rolls her eyes in annoyance, realizing her mistake.
"The most frequent cause of diarrhea in hospitalized patients in C. DIFF, which can lead to toxic megacolon, perforation, sepsis and death," Meredith answers while walking around the kitchen without looking at us. "That's what killed Susan."
Last week, I heard from Cristina that Susan passed away after a routine procedure complication. I'd noticed a few weeks before, that Meredith and she had been getting closer. She had kind of become her substitute mother in a way. She hasn't said anything much about it but today is the funeral.
"Is she okay?" Izzie asks once Meredith leaves and is out of earshot.
"She's fine." Cristina brushes it off quickly but I'm not convinced.
"She hasn't said anything about it. Obviously, she's upset but doesn't want anyone to know." I say before Alex shakes his head in disbelief.
"Dude, she's messed up." He says but Izzie turns to him.
"Of course she's messed up. Susan was basically her surrogate mother." She says sadly as Cristina stands up to grab another cup of coffee.
"Yeah, her fake mom was better than her real mom." Cristina agrees.
"Is she going to the hospital first or the funeral?" Izzie asks as I finally start to feel my body waking up. The coffee is obviously helping.
"First to the hospital, then to the funeral," Cristina answers as she pours the coffee.
"Then to the test this afternoon." I finish for her worriedly. Not only does Meredith have a very heavy schedule but all of it is stressful. This is the worst day for her to be taking the exam.
"Has she even studied?" Alex asks her and she rolls her eyes.
"Yeah, she's studied," Cristina says, bringing the coffee over to the table. "She's fine."
∞∞∞∞∞∞
Even though our exam is only hours away, we still have to be at work. That being said, Bailey has made it nearly impossible for us to touch patients. She wants us all studying which I understand but sitting around on our hands is not helping either. I need to be out there hands-on learning.
"We should be studying," Izzie says as all of us watch through the trauma room window. "If Bailey finds out we're down here-"
"We are studying." Cristina objects. "How do you treat frostbite?" She quizzes while we watch a man who was brought from the mountains with severe frostbite get treated.
"Rewarm, avoid early surgery unless there's a deep infection due to autoamputation," I answer with a sigh, disappointed that I can't be inside the room we're watching.
"See? We're studying." Cristina says to Izzie right before another man is rolled into the ER on a gurney screaming. "Did you see that?"
"That's freaky," Izzie mutters as Cristina takes a step forward.
"I think that was a flail chest. I've never seen one before." Cristina marvels before grabbing Meredith's arm and running down the hall, leaving me standing with George and Izzie. My eyes can't seem to leave the sight in front of me until I hear someone yelling a few metres away. We all turn to see Bailey staring at us.
"What are you fools doing here?!" She scolds while Meredith and Cristina are stopped in their tracks. "In a few hours, you people are taking a test that will determine the course of your entire medical careers, because the five interns with the lowest test scores will be cut from the program! But are you studying for this test? No, you're not! Are you helping out in the ER? You are most certainly not! Are you getting the hell out of here before I throw you out? I think you are!"
Before Bailey can even finish yelling at us, we all turn and run down the opposite hall to avoid her rage. After splitting up at an intersecting hallway, I tried to find anyone and get on their service but everyone I went to quickly rejected me. Obviously, word has gotten around and no one wants to mess with Bailey.
I eventually gave in and found a quiet place in the hospital to study on my own until I got a page from Cristina. It was an urgent page to the locker room which confused me but I answered quickly.
When I get to the locker room, I see Meredith sitting on one of the benches in her scrubs and everyone standing around her. She must've just gotten back from the funeral since the exam is in less than an hour.
"What's going on?" I ask quietly, not wanting to break the silence that had fallen over the room.
"You paged her?" Meredith turns to Cristina, clearly annoyed. "It's not a big deal."
"I paged her because we have a test in thirty minutes and she was nowhere to be found," Cristina says before turning to me with a look as if telling me not to say anything. Obviously, the funeral didn't go very well.
"Her father told her not to go to the funeral." George suddenly appears beside me and whispers in my ear. I try to control my face and not give away the knowledge but I see Meredith look away. She looks like she's in pain but is trying to hide it.
"Look, we've got everything taken care of," Cristina says, putting a hand on Meredith's shoulder. "I've got number 2 pencils and bottled water."
"Oh, and PowerBars," Izzie says, pulling a couple from her pocket and holding them up. My eyes widen before reaching forward and grabbing one from her hand. I need all the stamina I can get.
"You know the material. You're gonna get a high score. Not as high as mine, but everything's gonna be fine." Cristina comforts and I almost laugh at her inability to hold someone to a higher standard than herself. Before Meredith can answer, Alex walks into the room completely unaware of the situation like I was, but obviously, he wasn't paged.
"What are you all standing around for? Don't we have a test to..." He trails off when he sees us all standing around Meredith. "What happened?"
Before any of us can answer him, another body walks into the room and we all turn to see Chief Webber at the door looking very serious.
"You people need to head upstairs. Dr. Grey will join you in a minute." He says and we all grab our things for the exam.
"You'll be fine," I whisper to Meredith before I walk out and she gives me a slight nod in acknowledgment.
We all make our way to the exam room that was set up for the test. I can feel my hands sweating as we walk down the hall. I've never been worried about a test before so this is new to me. I quickly wipe my hands on my scrub pant leg as we walk into the room that's already full of other interns.
"Please take your seats, doctors, and put all study materials away." A woman explains as she watches everyone take their seats from the front of the room. Obviously, a board administrator here to watch us take the exam. I take a seat next to George and place the bottled water Cristina gave me on the floor next to my feet.
"Okay, if you don't know the answer, choose B. It's always B." Cristina mutters to me as she sits down at the desk in front of mine. I look to the side to see Meredith walk into the room. She still looks upset which is not a good thing.
The exam paper is already sitting in front of us facedown and I look at the white sheet intently, waiting for her to tell us to start. I'm snapped out of it when I hear the squeaking of the chair beside me and look over to see Alex sitting down.
"You'll be fine." He assures me and I nod.
"I know that," I say in the most confident voice I can muster which earns a smirk from him. "You too."
"You may open your test booklets now." The woman at the front says and the moment she does, the sound of paper flipping can be heard from everyone in the room.
I'm quick to do the same, taking a deep breath before picking up my pencil and reading the first question. I just need to keep telling myself that this is just like every other test. I know for a fact that it's not, but maybe I'll calm down if I tell myself that.
I don't realize how long I've been writing until my hand starts to cramp and I lean back in my chair for the first time. Reaching down, I grab my water bottle and take a sip. Before I go back to my test, I notice Meredith sitting a couple of chairs to the side of me but not writing anything. She hasn't even flipped her test over.
"Doctors, we are halfway through our allotted time." The woman speaks up and I realize how much time has passed. "You only have sixty minutes left to complete the exam."
Suddenly, George looks up and we make eye contact. It's brief but I realize we're thinking the same thing. We're both worried about Meredith. After a moment I collect myself and realize that my exam is more important to me than if Meredith is currently sabotaging her career. I go back to writing and let everything around me fall away as I focus.
I managed to finish my last answer three minutes before the woman called the time. After she collected it, I was quick to stand up and stretch before noticing Meredith walk out of the room very fast. I grab my water before rushing out after her.
"Meredith?" I ask but she doesn't turn and instead walks away down the hall.
"She didn't write anything," George says from behind me and I turn to meet his eyes, noticing everyone else walking out of the exam room. "She didn't answer a single question."
"I'm sure it'll be fine." I try to reassure all of us. "The Chief knows what she's been through, she wasn't in a fit state of mind."
"It's out of the Chief's hands. It's the board's problem now." George stresses as we all stand there powerless. I don't understand how she could be so stupid. She didn't write a single thing.
∞∞∞∞∞∞
"What the hell am I supposed to do about the stupid vows?" Cristina moans as she lays her head on the counter in Meredith's kitchen with an almost empty margarita sitting in front of her. Izzie had arranged a sort of bachelorette party for her but so far it's just been sitting around and drinking. I'm not complaining though.
"You still haven't written anything?" Meredith exclaims from behind the counter as I sip on my third margarita. I figured since I'd just taken my intern exam, I was entitled to a night of drinking.
"Well, it's stupid crap." Cristina argues before Izzie snaps all of a sudden.
"No, it isn't." She's been quite the whole night and I've been wondering what's bothering her.
"What am I supposed to say? I swear to love and cherish you every moment of every day of my life? I mean, that's not real. That's not how it works, right?" Cristina rants, turning to face Callie for conformation since she's the only person in the room that's married. Cristina also asked her to be a bridesmaid. I'm sure it was under the request of her and Burke's mother.
"It does, at first, but then..." She starts but trails off.
"It passes?" I finish for her and she nods toward me. "I say don't do vows. They're corny and basic." Cristina looks like she's about to agree with me but Izzie looks up again.
"That's because you don't feel that way about anyone right now! But, when you do, you'll want to pour your heart and soul out to them." She says to me before turning to the others. "And you guys are just used to it. That's all. You have the thing everybody else wants and you take it for granted. If you didn't and you couldn't be with the person that you love, I guarantee that hearing him promise to love you and honour you and cherish you, no matter what, it would pretty much be all you could think about."
The room goes silent and I notice Callie giving Izzie what appears to be a death glare. Izzie turns and goes back to what she was doing as I sip my margarita watching the silent drama like a sitcom.
"Wait, can you say that again just slowly?" Cristina says to Izzie while grabbing a pad of paper and a pen. The room is still tense as Cristina writes so I try to break it.
"You're talking about Denny, right?" I ask Izzie, trying to give her an opportunity to save herself from whatever weird vibe is passing between her and Callie.
"Yeah." She mutters unconvincingly before turning on the blender to make more margaritas. I can feel my head swirling slightly so I decided that I should probably cut myself off. You never know when there's going to be a crazy accident that will call us into the hospital.
The night went on and the awkwardness seemed to pass as we started playing bridal party games. I've never been a bridesmaid so I've never been to a bachelorette party. It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be.
"I thought I was gonna hate this party game thing, but it's kinda great," Cristina says as she sits on the floor in the living room that's covered in toilet paper.
We've been creating wedding gowns with toilet paper which was actually pretty fun. I'm currently walking in circles around Meredith holding a roll of toilet paper that's wrapping around her waist. Her arms are up to the sides, forcing me to duck under them every two seconds and I'm getting kind of dizzy.
"Can we set her on fire after?" Cristina laughs and Meredith tenses.
"No, we cannot."
"Okay, these wedding vows are not all gonna fit on here," Callie mutters as she writes on Cristina's hand with a sharpie.
"Then write smaller," Cristina says as Callie gets very serious.
"Stop moving. Vow just became cow." She scolds Cristina as I finally stop walking around Meredith and rip the toilet paper, tucking it in. I look up at her and she gives me a goofy wink before I start ripping long pieces of paper for the skirt.
"You don't need vows on your hand," Izzie speaks up from the couch where she is making Meredith an intricate veil. "When you get up there, just speak from the heart."
"The heart is an organ." I clarify to Izzie and she rolls her eyes at me.
"She is right. It pumps and circulates blood. It does not, however, speak." Cristina points at me with the hand not being written on.
"Well, you're all glass totally empty," Izzie says as she walks over to Meredith and I with the veil.
"I'm gonna like being married. It's the wedding part that's ridiculous." Cristina mumbles as I place the rather large veil on Meredith's head. Suddenly, all of our pagers go off and we all groan in disappointment.
"Party's over," Izzie says as Meredith shakes her head, allowing the veil to fall off.
"Hey! Mine didn't go off. Piece of crap." Cristina mutters from the ground, looking at her silent pager.
"Maybe because you're getting married in less than twenty-four hours?" I suggest playfully and she groans.
"That's not a good enough reason."
∞∞∞∞∞∞
"Okay. Listen up." Bailey calls to us as we put on our trauma gowns in the pit. "O'Malley and Audrey, you're with Shepherd and Sloan. Stevens, you're with Burke. Alex, you're with Addison. Go."
The moment we are given our assignments we disperse and take off through the hospital. Excitement flows through me as I realize this means I'm working on the hikers since they're Derek's patients. One of them got an axe to his skull. George is going to have to fight me for it.
Luckily, we both made it into the surgery and because of the many complications that could arise from removing an axe from the brain, we observed Derek. He explained that there would be quite a lot of tearing due to the accidental injury but once the axe was out, we noticed it was a clean cut. This injury wasn't an accident and the story from the mountain was a lie.
After surgery, I was given the task of filling out the chart while George got to check on the patient post-OP. I found Meredith at one of the nurse's stations and joined her. The moment I sat down beside her, she was quick to start ranting about Derek. I honestly never know when they are together or fighting.
As she rants, I see a figure walk down the hallway like a lost puppy. The moment I realize it's Cristina, I have to stifle a laugh. Her hair is full of hair curlers and it appears as though her eyebrows are missing. She spots me and instantly shuffles over, looking as if she's about to cry.
"Audrey." She mutters. Meredith doesn't look up from what she's doing but continues to talk.
"I mean, he literally told me that he met this girl in a bar and he flirted with her." Meredith rants. "It wasn't even a hint he just flat out told me."
"Meredith." I clear my throat, swatting her shoulder lightly. "I think someone has a bigger problem right now."
Meredith looks up at me in confusion before looking to the side and seeing Cristina standing in front of me desperately.
"Whoa." Is all Meredith can say at the sight of her.
"Mama took my eyebrows," Cristina says. "She took my eyebrows, and now I am a Burke."
Meredith and I give each other a side-eye look, asking each other what our next move should be. This isn't exactly a problem I've faced before. After a second, I realize the only thing that would make Cristina feel better.
"Come with me," I say to her, grabbing her arm and pulling her down the hallway until we make it to the surgical board and, to my relief, Bailey is standing in front of it. "Dr. Bailey?"
"What?" She asks unimpressed, turning around to face us.
"Cristina needs to cut something," I say but Bailey just stares at me with a blank expression and her lips pursed.
"We can't really explain it in a way that won't make you glare but... they took her eyebrows and they called her a Burke." Meredith tries to explain to Bailey as her eyes travel from the two of us over to Cristina who stands slightly behind us.
"She really needs to cut somebody open," I repeat to try and get the point across but Bailey rolls her eyes, stepping forward.
"Yang, go do getting married things. Get out of this hospital." Bailey says before turning back around to walk away. To my surprise, Cristina steps forward angrily.
"Hey! You have to let me cut because I am standing here eyebrowless with no dignity left. I am a surgeon, Dr. Bailey. But right now I don't feel like one. I feel like somebody else. Do you know what that's like, not to feel like yourself?" She demands and it seems to get the message through to Bailey because she nods once.
"Yeah." She mutters before gesturing for Cristina to follow her. Cristina never named a maid of honour but I may have just won that title.
∞∞∞∞∞∞
Cristina made it into an OR for the afternoon to blow off some steam. After a full day of work, all of us rush to the locker rooms to get changed and ready for the wedding. When I get to the room, Meredith, Cristina and Alex are walking in at the same time.
"What time is it?" Meredith asks desperately, not wanting to be late.
"We have thirty minutes," I answer, stripping my scrub shirt off the moment I get into the room.
"Oh, crap. I'm gonna be late for my own wedding." Cristina stresses as she walks over to her locker, curlers still in her hair.
"No, you're not." Meredith tries to calm her down as I grab my dress from my locker. I was planning on curling my hair before the wedding but seeing as we only have half an hour to get there, I guess a low bun is going to have to do.
"Hey, you got deodorant?" Alex asks me as he attempts to do his tie.
"Ew, my deodorant isn't going anywhere near your hairy armpits." I frown in disgust before he reaches into George's locker and grabs his instead. Izzie eventually takes on the task of redrawing Cristina's eyebrows.
"Cristina you have to stay still or you're gonna have a unibrow." Izzie scolds her as she tries to draw on her now nonexistent eyebrows. George suddenly appears around the corner dressed in his suit.
"Open or closed?" He asks, referring to his suit jacket.
"Closed," I say after giving him a once over and he does the button. "Perfect."
"You look great," Izzie says, looking up from Cristina. Meredith and I pull up each other's zippers on our dresses and we're officially done. All that's left is getting the bride ready. The door to the locker room opens suddenly and Patricia walks in.
"Moment of truth people." She says, holding up a bunch of white envelopes.
"Are those our scores?" Alex asks excitedly. I'm surprised he doesn't sound more nervous because I am. She starts handing them out and the moment we get ours in our hands we rip them open. I don't even care about the envelope as I rip straight through it and throw it on the floor.
The letter has a bunch of words and I scan it over for the ones I'm looking for until I'm able to breathe out in relief. I passed.
"Did you pass?" Cristina asks Meredith and she smirks.
"You bet your married booty, I did." She says, holding up the envelope.
"You pass?" I turn to my brother who's still reading his and after a moment he nods.
"Yeah! You?" He asks and I hold mine in front of his face.
"Of course!" I laugh as all of us cheer in triumph. We passed our intern exam and are going to become residents. If a wedding wasn't enough, we have something worth celebrating now.
∞∞∞∞∞∞
Luckily, we made it to the chapel on time and shoved Cristina in the dressing room to put her dress on. After a while of standing around waiting for her to come out, we start to get a little worried. Meredith walks over to the door and knocks on it.
"Cristina?" She asks but there's no answer. Just when I think she's fled, the door opens and she walks out in the floor-length wedding gown.
"I didn't run." She mutters smartly and I watch as her mother tears up.
"You look beautiful." Izzie compliments with a big smile.
"You look like a bride." I grin and Cristina looks at me, rolling her eyes while smiling.
"I'm proud of you." Her mother says, grabbing her hand and holding it tight in her own.
"Thank you," Cristina says in the most genuine tone I've heard. As if she's not used to hearing it from her mother which I find shocking.
"Frankly, I always feared you were too emotionally stunted to settle down." Her mother continues before pulling her into a hug. I see Cristinas smile falter slightly so I mutter through my teeth.
"You can do this," I say and she gives me a little nod before Izzie walks over to the door and opens it slightly. She peeks her head out to look into the chapel.
"I see Burke." She squeals excitedly just as Alex walks into the room late. I'm not surprised.
"Hey, Yang, the twins look nice in that dress." He says referring to her breasts and I roll my eyes before walking behind Cristina to pull her train out.
"Thank you. Sort of." She mutters as he walks away, leaving us to prepare to walk down the aisle. Meredith hands out all our bouquets of flowers before standing by Cristina's side.
"Okay. This is it." Meredith encourages. "You have your bouquet."
"Yup," Cristina says, looking straight ahead, preparing herself.
"You have the ring?" Meredith checks, looking at me and I hold it up in the little velvet bag that I'd been tasked with protecting. "Good. You remember your vows?"
"Yeah, I wrote them on my..." Cristina says before looking down at her hand. Her eyes widen suddenly and all manor of calm vanishes. "Oh, my god. I scrubbed in, and the vows were on my hand. I scrubbed off my vows!"
"Oh, crap, okay," I mutter, trying to think of a way to recover from this as Cristina starts to freak out even more.
"I scrubbed away my vows! I can't do this! I don't have any vows! There are no words in my head!" She starts yelling and I cringe at her volume, hoping the whole chapel can't hear her outburst. "I have no vows!"
"It's okay! It's going to be okay!" Meredith tries to calm her down but it doesn't seem to help.
"Stop saying that! Say something else!" Cristina yells at her.
"Like what?"
"Something that is gonna help me! Say what I would say to you if you were me!" She exclaims which seems to snap something into place in Meredith's head.
"Okay. Got it." She says, stepping forward so she's in Cristina's face. "Stop whining. This is your wedding day. You will go down that aisle and you will get married. If I have to kick your ass every step of the way to get you there, you will walk down the aisle. You will get married. Do you hear me, Cristina?"
"Okay, I'm ready," Cristina says calmly, turning toward the chapel door. We go behind her to fix her train when all of a sudden, the door to the chapel opens and out walks Burke.
"Oh! I'm fine, Meredith talked me down. Really, I'm fine. Go. I'll be right behind you." Cristina says, pushing his chest slightly to make him go back through the door.
"I'm sorry." He says simply.
"I can do this," Cristina assures him.
"But you don't want to do this." He says and I watch as her face drops. "I'm up there waiting for you to come down the aisle and I know you don't want to come but that you'll come anyway because you love me. If I loved you, not the woman that I'm trying to make you be, I wouldn't be up there waiting for you. I would be letting you go."
"I am wearing the dress," Cristina states in shock at the words that just flooded so easily out of his mouth. "I'm ready. I really think I want this."
"And I really wish that you didn't think. I wish that you knew." He says as the rest of us look at each other nervously. He looks up to look at us. "Thank you for coming."
After that, he walks around Cristina and leaves the chapel. We're left standing there in shock at what just happened. He just walked out on their wedding and she hadn't even made it to the door. I guess some people don't get the perfect ending or the happily ever after.