Dazai's POV
I sat on my chair boredly, not knowing what to do. I was bored, VERY BORED.
So, I took advantage of my certain chair, rolling to the right and rolling to the left. Having wheels under my chair was REALLY FUN.
I did it again, now saying 'whee!' as I kicked of the floor and launched myself to the other side of the room.
And as I crashed, I laughed giddily as I heard a really annoyed scowl.
"Dazai! Can't you do your work properly!?" Kunikida said, both arms crossed as he stared at me with sharp eyes.
"But Kunikida-kun~ I feel tiiirreedd~"
"Well It's not my problem isn't it?"
I pouted at him as I faced my chair's direction on the other side and kicked the wall, now launching to the OTHER side of where I currently was. But this time, I stopped right at my desk and plopped my head down on it.
It was boring today and I couldn't escape work. Because Atsushi isn't here.
Kyouka told us that he felt sick and wanted a leave for a day, Akiko offered to treat him but he only said no. I mean, who wouldn't?
Who would want to get himself half-dead just to have recieve treatment?
I sigh as I placed my head upright, now laying on my chin.
"Kyoukaa~ Did Atsushi-kun caught a fever?"
Kyouka looked at him, unsure of what to say, after all, she never did check the boy's temperature.
"I don't really know, I didn't take his temperature when I left"
I sighed again, now not sure of what to do.
Now that I thought about it,
I did notice his unusual behavior.
I don't know if anyone else did but I definitely do.
It all started at least 5 months ago.
At first, he still laughed and smiled with us. Accompanying us when lunch.
But then, when weeks started to go by, he slowly exerted himself, almost like he was avoiding us.
I also noticed how he usually scratch his wrists, not stopping until they were red.
Being the suicidal maniac I am, I knew what the symptoms were but when I asked him about it, a very nice guest decided to interrupt us.
Guess who?
The Port mafia.
And after the small fight that they brought us, we never talked about it again. I tried many times, I swear but he always manage to slip up with some urgent excuse.
I looked at stack of papers that was just in front of me, almost blocking my sight.
Ugh, they're too many.
I stood from my seat, aiming for the door.
"Where are you going?" Kunikida asked me, his eyes still focused on his work.
"Don't worry Kunikida-kun~ I'm just gonna take a breather" I replied.
"Fine, just do your work before the day ends" he said, voice monotonous still.
I smiled slightly as I made my way out of the building, urging to get fresh air. When I started to think about Atsushi, I felt my chest hurt. Huh, first time.
I walked to the side and leaned on the walls, looking at the grayish-blue sky that looked like it will pour droplets sooner or later.
I breathed in and out. Attempting to get the heavy feeling out soon as possible. It's starting to suffocate me. Seriously.
I closed my eyes, trying to feel relaxed when my I felt my phone vibrate.
I grabbed it and unlocked the lock screen, looking at the name typed on my screen.
It was Atsushi.
I went to the message at lightning speed, my heart racing in anticipation. But that soon died down when I read the text message.
"Goodbye"
My face scrunched up into confusion.
Goodbye?
What does he mean?
My head hurted as I pressed the dial button, tapping my feet in impatience.
If he was pulling a prank, I'm gonna tell you, It isn't funny.
The call dropped, and I pressed the button again. Waiting a response from the other side of the line yet no one answered.
Now, I was really worried. I didn't freak out at first because I knew that Atsushi wouldn't do suicide would he?
I know he has low self esteem but within a few months he managed to pull it. So what's the reason if he's ever gonna give up?
Break up?
Rejection?
No, Atsushi wouldn't do suicide with those stupid reasons. He's too mature for that.
I growled lowly as I started walking, stomping my feet on the way. I was headed to Atsushi's apartment, and I'm gonna demand answers alright.
I'm not gonna allow him to send me a heart stopping text and just don't pick up my calls.
But at the back of my mind, My heart was thumping loudly on my ears as I tried to calm my hands who were violently shaking.
It's been so long since I felt this kind of fear. The fear of losing someone so dear. It's so f*cking scary.
I reached Atsushi's apartment and walked up the stairs, and as I was in front of his door, I clenched my fist so tight that it turned white.
Why the hell am I hesitating now?
Oh, that's right.
I was afraid of what's behind the door. I was afraid of what will meet me, of what I was going to encounter.
And it's been a damn long time since I felt like that.
I swallowed.
Hard.
I grabbed the doorknob and turned it, wishing, praying that whatever will meet me inside wasn't the one that I expected.
But when I stepped inside, my whole world stopped.
It went to a screeching stop.
I stared wide eyed at the figure above of me, hanging with a noose in his neck.
I was terrified, horrified, PETRIFIED.
My heart thumped louder, faster as my lungs burned.
I wanted to scream.
My legs gave up and I kneeled to the floor, crystal tears clouding my vision.
When was the last time that I cried?
No, that doesn't matter.
My chest hurts.
It hurts so much that I started to clutch it, wishing for everything to be a horrible dream.
Tears fell to the floor as I tried to gape for air. Making my other hand as stand as the other clutched my chest tighter.
F*ck
F*ck
F*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck
Why now?
Didn't I suffer enough?
Was all the shooting, killing, hurting not enough?
Why?
Why of all the people in the world did it have to be Atsushi?
He was the person who he treasured the most yet again the world failed him.
Giving him death of another loved one much more painful than before.
Then.
The pain stopped.
Everything did.
At least for me.
I stood once again on my own feet with my face still staring at the wooden floor.
Once I felt myself breath again, I looked up to the hanging figure of my once student. My once friend. My once love.
With tear marks on my eyes.
"Let's go home"