Hi, my loves <3 How's everyone doing?
Since I live in the US I assumed the UK's legal drinking age is also 21 and completely forgot that it was 18 so oops just thought I'd mention that
I love ur comments so much pls keep them coming :))
To say Louis wasn't thinking clearly was a gross understatement. He wasn't thinking at all.
He just wanted to do what he thought would hurt Harry the most. And marrying Eleanor- it seemed pretty perfect.
He wasn't thinking.
"Babe, are you serious?"
"Yeah, we're in New York for a week before we go to the South American leg of the tour. Come."
He heard the sound of Eleanor's laughter on the other side of the phone. "Yeah, okay. Of course. I thought you'd never ask."
He ignored that feeling buried deep in his heart that was screaming, Don't do it!
"When will you get here?" he asked.
"Tomorrow, if I leave tonight."
Louis swallowed tightly. "Perfect."
"That's...fancy," Zayn said slowly.
The restaurant at the top of Empire State. Certainly fancy.
Louis had booked the whole thing.
"I just want us to have a nice dinner. The five of us and-"
"Eleanor?" Zayn asked. "Yeah, that's not happening. Not that I have anything against her, but-"
"Just try, okay?" Louis asked.
"The problem isn't me, Louis," Zayn said. "You know what I'm talking about-"
"Frankly, Zayn, I don't care if Harry likes my girlfriend or not, he's not my fucking father. "
Zayn sighed simply, knowing that he couldn't argue further.
"Didn't know you were gonna invite Gigi," Louis said, after a moment of silence.
"Well, Liam invited his girlfriend."
"I thought you were on break."
"Not anymore," Zayn said, and that was the end of the conversation.
Liam and Niall were the next to arrive, Simon arriving a few minutes after. The girls would all arrive later in the evening.
"You must really love her, huh?" Simon asked, grinning. "All of this for a simple dinner."
The ring in Louis' pocket felt like a stone, a stone so heavy he felt its weight dragging him down, slowly.
He had his security detail get it from Tiffany and Co. literally the day before. He didn't know what he was doing. He knew that he could still go back, but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to think.
"Where's Harry?" Niall asked, and Louis ignored Zayn's glare.
"I'll go outside and look," Louis offered, turning around and walking out the door.
And there he was. Leaning against the railing outside, peering down the city below. A small smile on his face.
Louis took a deep breath and walked up to him. "Will you come inside? I want us all in before Eleanor gets here."
Harry didn't turn around. He didn't say anything.
"Harry, cut the bullshit, will you?"
"It's not too late," Harry said.
Louis frowned. "What?"
Harry finally turned around, and Louis couldn't figure out what his eyes were holding.
"We can have a nice dinner, and we can all go home, and you don't fucking propose to her. It's not too late."
"Why the fuck do you even care, Harry?" Louis asked.
"Louis." Just his name.
"If you have something to say to me, Harry, say it now. Because I'm planning to propose to my girlfriend today, a-"
"Louis."
"What?" Louis said, defeatedly. "What, Harry?"
"You don't love her, Louis."
"Really?" Louis asked indignantly. "Who do I love, then? You? Is that what you think?"
"I don't-" Harry tilted his head back, inhaling slowly. "I don't know. All I know is that you don't love her."
"Here's what I think," Louis said, stepping closer to Harry so their chests were almost touching. "You're just pissed off that the girl I promised you meant nothing to me is the one I'm marrying. You're pissed off that you let me fall in love with her."
"You're NOT in love with her," Harry said, raising his voice.
"Does it matter? It's the closest I'm gonna get."
"If you're trying to prove a point or something Louis, congratulations! You've proved your fucking point. Now stop, okay? Stop whatever the fuck it is you think you're doing."
"I think," Louis breathed. "I think I'm proposing to my girlfriend. Now, are you coming inside or not?"
Harry's eyes screwed shut. "Please," he said softly. "Please."
"Life isn't a fairytale, Harry," Louis said, then turned and walked back in.
"Louis."
"Is he awake?"
"I think so."
"His eyes are opening, shh."
Louis blinked uncertainly, waking up to the bright lights of a hospital room.
He saw Niall and Liam standing over him, their eyebrows creased.
Niall smiled suddenly. "He's awake!" He leaned down and crushed Louis in a hug, only pulling away when Louis started gasping for air.
Liam punched Louis' shoulder, scowling. "What were you thinking?"
"Wha-" Louis rubbed his eyes and sat up straighter. "Where the fuck am I?"
"The fucking hospital, Louis," Liam said. "You fucking overdosed."
And suddenly, Louis remembered everything.
"Where did you even get them, Louis?" Niall asked worriedly.
"I don't-" Louis moistened his lips, suddenly getting a bad headache. He didn't know what to say.
And suddenly Harry was inside the room, his green eyes fixated on Louis, his expression unreadable.
Niall and Liam looked at each other silently before leaving the room slowly, shutting the door behind them.
"Harry, I-"
"Don't." Harry shook his head. "I fucking found you, Louis. I thought you were dead."
"Please, just-"
"Why? Was it easier to get high than talk to me? Get back together with me?"
"It's not like that, Harry," Louis said, reaching out to Harry's arm. Harry let Louis pull him closer until he was standing at the side of the bed.
"Then what's it like?"
"I wanted to be with you. I want to be with you. But I couldn't, I knew I couldn't, so I pushed you away, and I really sho-"
Harry cut him off, pressing his lips to Louis', the sentence dying in Louis' throat. And maybe it was the fact that Louis almost died, or maybe it was that he was finally kissing Harry again, but Louis kissed back, gripping the back of Harry's head.
Harry shifted, prying Louis' mouth open with his tongue, and they were kissing frantically, feverishly, like they were running out of time.
And then Harry was pulling away.
Louis panted softly.
"You still love me." It wasn't a question. Harry wasn't asking.
Louis nodded, too tired to lie anymore. Too tired living a life that wasn't his. "I do."
"You're going to break up with Eleanor."
Louis nodded again, knowing this was coming. "I will."
He saw Harry crack a small smile. "I'm not done with you yet. I'm still mad at you."
"I know, Harry, and I'll explain everything, I'll ex-"
The door opened loudly, and Louis instinctively let go of Harry, dropping his hand to his lap quickly.
David and Simon entered the room, Simon beckoning for Harry to leave.
"I'm not going anywhere, Simon, Louis jus-"
"Leave, Harry, please, while I'm asking nicely." Simon deadpanned, and Harry clenched his fists and stormed out of the room like an angry teenager, looking back at Louis to reassure him.
"Did the nurses try to ask you anything?" David asked urgently. "Anything about where you got the pills, who gave them to you?"
Louis glared at him. "Not yet."
"You can't go to rehab," Simon said. "We have tours, we have shooting to do. We thought you would use them responsibly, not like this."
"Responsibly?" Louis repeated, his voice high. "Why would you give them to me in the first place, Simon? And what makes you think I won't tell people where I got them from?"
"Because," Simon said, gripping the edge of the hospital bed tightly. "You don't go to rehab, you don't tell anyone where you got them, and I'll let you see Harry." Simon's face wrinkled in disgust like that was the worst thing he could imagine.
"Not publically of course," David interjected quickly. "But we won't interfere."
Interfere. Beating them up and empty threats.
"You'll still have to be in a P.R relationship with Eleanor," Simon continued. "But you can do whatever the fuck you want with Harry," he spat.
Louis swallowed. He couldn't refuse. He knew he couldn't.
"I won't tell anyone," he let out carefully. "I promise."
Simon smiled, thumping him on the back. "Good boy."
Louis recoiled slightly, clenching his teeth. He told himself that it didn't matter.
He could be with Harry again.
"Babe! You didn't have to do this," Eleanor gushed.
Louis tried his best at a real smile.
The air was tense. At first glance, it seemed like a fun, expensive dinner, but if you looked closely you could see Liam's eyes flickering between Zayn and Gigi repeatedly, Zayn staring daggers at Liam's girlfriend, and Harry's eyes staring down at the table, refusing to look up.
Perhaps the only people having a good time were Niall and his girlfriend.
And Simon.
Louis hated that this was making him so happy. But he loved how pissed Harry was getting. He wanted this to hurt. And he would make it hurt as much as he could.
They had all finished eating when Louis stood up from his chair, clearing his throat. Harry locked eyes with him and shook his head desperately, in one last attempt to get Louis to stop.
"I have a few things I want to say," Louis said. "And I'm really happy to be surrounded by all my friends while I say them."
This part was true. One Direction were the realest friends Louis had ever known. If he was going to propose, he wouldn't have anyone other than them present.
"Eleanor," Louis said, turning towards her. "I want to tell you something."
Eleanor smiled at him, loving the attention she was getting. "What is it?"
"Eleanor, I met you in 2011. And yes, our first date was fake, but I think a part of me knew it felt right. A part of me knew that maybe we were meant to be." Louis lied.
Harry let out a shaky breath, determined to keep his cool. This is what he wanted. He didn't want Louis. This shouldn't hurt at all.
"I made a lot of mistakes, Eleanor. I didn't appreciate you enough. I couldn't see that it was you the whole time."
A mistake. That's what Harry was. A lot of eyes kept flickering to Harry, and maybe that's what was stopping him from breaking down that very moment.
"You took me back every time. Your ability to forgive, that's what I love about you." Louis continued, reveling in the way he could see Harry's heart break.
It was sadistic, almost.
"Will you stand, up, Eleanor?" Louis said, and the other three girls at the table immediately caught on, letting out excited squeals and giggles.
It dawned on Zayn, too, and he shook his head as well, mouthing a What are you doing? To Louis.
Even Niall frowned. Niall had always got along with Eleanor, but even he knew this wasn't supposed to happen.
And Louis got on one knee, putting one hand in his pocket to bring out a small box, and all hell broke loose, the girls gasping and Zayn shaking his head again because this wasn't supposed to happen.
"Louis." Niall said, and Louis wasn't sure if that was a plea or warning, but all he could focus on was the way Harry was staring at him, the way Harry's face fell.
The way he could finally hurt Harry the way Harry hurt him.
Harry gripped his fork so tightly his knuckles were white, biting his lip so hard he drew blood.
And Louis saw a tear fall down his cheek, a tear that Harry wiped away quickly, but a tear that changed everything.
And Louis didn't want to do this.
The truth came crashing down on him. His stupid desire to hurt Harry had gone too far. And Louis looked into the broken glass that was Harry's eyes and he knew that this isn't what he wanted.
He didn't love Eleanor.
And he didn't want to hurt Harry anymore.
He wanted to talk to him. To hold him, to ask him what went wrong and how they could fix it. And he wanted to love Harry again.
He didn't want to lose Harry in this way, in a way that felt so permanent and so real.
And he didn't want to marry another woman.
He didn't want to marry a woman at all, and Louis knew if he's not marrying Harry, he couldn't marry anyone.
And suddenly, he was aware of the dozen people looking at him, on his knee and holding a ring in his hand.
He fucked up.
And Eleanor sensed his hesitation.
"Yes." she declared.
No, no, no, no.
"I didn't-" Louis started, but Eleanor shook her head.
"You don't even have to ask, Louis. Yes, I'll marry you." And the girls clapped, and Simon cheered, raising his champagne glass, and saying "To Louis and Eleanor!"
Niall, Liam, and Zayn repeated the toast, raising their glasses hesitantly, and Louis watched himself slip the ring on Eleanor. He was pulled up into a kiss, but everything was faint and cloudly and blurry and he couldn't feel anything.
All he could think of was curly hair and green eyes.
That's all he thought when Harry got up and left the room, unable to watch what was happening any longer.
He fucked up.
I promise, it gets better.