"Diego, this is a setup." Luther said as you walked in.
<I had a funny little outfit here, but the comments turned into every Y/N slander TikTok ever. So wear whatever ig>
"Maybe. But we should go anyway." Diego replied as you flopped down in a chair.
"Says the guy who's already been stabbed once this week." You chuckled at Luther's comment.
"Oh, don't worry, me and him are gonna have words."
Luther turned to Vanya. "Would you tell him he's nuts?"
"I think we should go." Vanya replied.
"Same." You said, sitting up straight.
"See?"
"Vanya, of all people, who should hate Dad the most." Luther stated.
"Come on, can he really be that bad?"
"Okay, well, lets see." Luther started. "He isolated you from the rest of the family."
"Kept you hopped up on pills." Diego said.
"And brainwashed you into thinking you had no powers." You finished.
"Jesus, this guy..." Vanya muttered, shocked.
"Yeah." Luther agreed, thinking he had won the argument.
"I mean, c'mon, I have to meet him!"
Diego smirked.
"You already know how this is gonna go." Luther snapped at Diego. "Dad is gonna play all his little mind games on us, get into our heads, and turn us all against each other. You watch."
"Luther, we're not 12 anymore." Diego said. "All right? We're grown-ass men." Both you and Vanya scoffed. "And women. Hey."
Luther sighed as Diego continued. "We can handle him. Wanna know what's different this time?"
"What's that?"
"You got me." Diego said, and you smiled. Diego was trying to comfort Luther. That wasn't something you saw every day.
"...We go in there as a United front. No more 'Number one' 'Number Two' bullshit. From now one it's... Team Zero."
"Team Zero?" Luther questioned.
"Team Zero." Diego replied, nodding. You all slightly smiled. "All the way." Diego reaches out his arms for fist-bumps, but didn't get any...
You sighed, standing. "I'm going for a walk. I'll be there." You walked out of the room, down the stairs, and out the door.
As your heels clipped against the ground, you wondered if anyone else had gotten the invitation. If they hadn't, maybe it should stay like that.
Then again, knowing Dad, he most likely found a way to deliver them to everyone. You sighed. You should find Five.
"Looking for something?"
You turned to the direction of an alleyway. "For you, actually."
Five smiled slightly, stepping forward. "You look nice."
"Thanks." You replied as both began to walk.
"Did everyone get invites?" He asked.
"I assume so." You answered.
Five sighed again, pulling the invitation out of his pocket, before turning and entering the building with you close behind him. As you both walked up the many stairs, you wondered if maybe this really was a bad idea. You came upon the second floor, and Five motioned for you to come to the elevator from the opposite stair case. He hit the button, and the elevator promptly opened. He moved aside, letting you step in, before he joined you.
Right as the door was about to close, a hand popped inside.
"Wait up." Diego said, stepping into the elevator. While walking in, he purposely pushed you and Five on other sides of the elevator, causing you both to scoff.
"Hold it!" Allison called, walking in, followed by Klaus and Vanya.
"Hey everyone." Klaus muttered as Luther stepped in.
"Good." Five said. "We're all here." As he finished, the door shut.
As you looked up, watching as the numbers changed, you flinched, smelling something. You were quick to cover your nose. All your siblings joined you.
"Luther!" Five groaned.
"Oh, my god!" Vanya muttered, pinching her nose shut.
"Sorry, I'm nervous."
As the doors opened, you quickly scampered out behind Vanya, trying to get to fresh air as your siblings gagged.
"Nasty! I'm choking!"
"None of that!"
As you made your way into what looked as a tiki bar, Five spoke up.
"All right. When Dad gets here, I'll do the talking."
"I've got a few questions for him myself." Diego interrupted.
"Hey, we don't wanna scare him off." Five replied. "He might be able to help us stop doomsday and get us home."
"No, Five. We need to figure out why he's planning to kill the president." Diego argued.
"This is a matter of life and death, you imbecile!"
"Okay, yeah. Maybe we should take turns talking. Yeah?" Vanya interrupted. She reached over to a table, grabbing a shell. "Here, whoever has this conch shell gets to talk."
"Vanya, we don't have time for a debate, okay?" Five asked, annoyed.
"Maybe I should lead." Allison said, taking the conch shell from Vanya's hands. "We all know I'm a much better public speaker then the rest of you."
"Okay, Daddy's Girl." Replied Diego.
"Oh. Jealous, Number Two?"
"Hey," Diego said, stepping forward. "No more number bullshit. We're Team Zero."
"Uh, Diego." Luther spoke up. "You don't have the conch."
Diego smiled, reaching for the conch and taking it, before throwing it to the wall and shattering it.
"Classic.."
You all looked up to hear a door open, and out came Reginald. You sat between Five and Diego, watching your father carefully as the rest of your siblings sat.
"Not only have you burglarized my lab, set my chimp loose, conned your way into the Mexican Consultant, repeatedly stalked and attacked me, but you have, on numerous occasions, called me..."
"Hey, Pop, hows it hanging?" Klaus asked, sitting.
"Dad..." you flinched at his words. "My reconnaissance tells me you're not CIA, not KGB, certainly not MI5, so... who are you?"
You opened your mouth. "We're your children.."
Reginald looked at you, confused.
"From the future." Five stated, making Reginald turn to him. "In 1989, you adopted all of us,"
"And trained us to fight against the end of the world." You finished, and silence followed.
"You called us the Umbrella Academy." Five said.
"Why on Earth would I adopt seven—"
"Eight." Allison cut your father off. "One of us isn't here."
"Dead." Diego spoke up. "One of us is dead."
"Yes, dead. But I'm here!"
Klaus turned behind him. "Up bap-bap-bap-bap. Enough of that now!" He turned back to the table, motioning for you to continue.
"Regardless," Reginald continued. "What would posses me to adopt eight ill-mannered malcontents?"
"We all have special abilities." Five answered, leaning forward and folding his hands.
"Special? In what sense?" Your father asked.
"I'm the superpower sense." Luther replied.
"Well, call me old fashioned, but I'm a stickler for a pesky little thing called evidence. Show me."
"And everyone wants to see powers all of the sudden." Allison said, sipping her drink.
"Were not circus animals, okay?" Luther said. "We're not going to balance balls on our noses and clap our hands like seals for your amusement."
Right as Luther finished, Diego pulled out one of his knives, and threw it at your dad. Last second, he re-directed it so it landed in the wall behind him. Reginald opened one of his books, and began to write something down. You and your siblings leaned forward.
"What are you writing?"
"You are zero for two, young man."
Diego stood up, clearly pissed. Five jumped, landing infront if him and blocking him off. "Stop!" Five whispered.
"Now that is extraordinary.."
"Quick run down. Luther, Supper strength, Klaus can commune with the dead, Y/N can transform into any living thing she can comprehend, Allison can rumor anyone to do anything."
"Except she never uses it." Diego said, sitting.
"I heard a rumor, you punched yourself in the face."
You chuckled as Diego groaned in pain.
"And you?" Reginald turned to Vanya.
"Maybe we don't take Vanya for a test run." Luther smiled.
"Oh, yeah, that's probably not a good idea."
"Yeah."
"It's fine. I can handle it." Vanya said, sitting up.
"Handle it? No, last time you handled it, you definitely blew up the moon."
"No, Vanya, don't!"
Your siblings all scooted back, not wanting to be hurt, but instead all hit in the face with fruit.
"Well, that's great."
"This is my favorite shirt."
"Wow.."
"Oops.." Vanya muttered.
"That was impressive."
"Look, we know that you're involved in the plot to assassinate the president." Diego said, standing.
"You were recently hospitalized, isn't that correct? You still appear to be suffering from delusions of grandeur and acute paranoia."
"Am I?" Diego asked. "Explain this." He reaches into his pocket, taking out a picture. "That's you. That's two days from now on the grassy knoll at the exact shot the president is gonna get shot."
"Well..." Your father looked to Diego. "I suppose you've solved it. You've single-handedly unearthed my nefarious plot."
Diego smiled, and you sighed, counting down in your head. 3, 2, 1...
"Is that what you want to hear? You fancy yourself a do-gooder? The last good man who will save us from our decent into corruption and conspiracy? This is a fantastic delusion. The sad reality is that you're a desperate man, tragically unaware of his own significance, desperately clinging to his own ineffectual reasoning. More succinctly, a man in over his head."
"Y-you're w-wrong." Diego stuttered out, as a tear trickled down his face. You gently took his hand under the table, squeezing it. He reciprocated the gesture, and you turned back to Reginald.
"Look, forget about the president." Five started. "We have a catastrophic war coming in five days. We need to figure out how to stop it."
"War?" Reginald asked. "Men will always be at war with each other."
"No, this isn't just some war." You said. "We're talking about a doomsday. The end of the world."
"Well, you're the special ones, aren't you? Why don't you band together and do something about it?"
After Reginald finished speaking, Klaus began to shake violently.
"Klaus?" You asked.
"Is he having a seizure?!" Allison leaned forward.
"Overdoes probably.." Diego muttered.
"I'm..."
"Out with it boy!"
"Ben!" With that, Klaus fell to the ground, causing you to look down in embarrassment.
"Well... Thank you for coming." Reginald stood. "I've seen quite enough."
You rubbed your thumb against Diego's hand, before looking up as Luther stood. You immediately looked back down when he tore his shirt off.
"Look at what you did to me! Look at it!"
"Oh, shit. Why?" Five asked, leaning back.
"You two." Reginald pointed to both you and Five. "The young ones. A word, please."
You sighed, gently rubbing Diego's shoulder, before standing up and following your father into the back room, Five close behind.
He led you to the bar, and all three of you sat down, Five in between you two.
"You two seem to be the sensible ones of the bunch."
"That's because we're the oldest." You replied.
"You know, technically I'm older the you right now." Five said.
"Cognac?"
"Just a smidge." Five replied.
As the server poured you a glass, you sighed.
The server nodded, and walked off.
"The other night you quoted Homer at me. Why?" Reginald asked.
"You forced us all to learn it as kids."
You scoffed at Five's nonchalant answer. "The original Greek no less." You said, sipping your glass.
"This world ends in five days if we don't get out of the timeline." Five continued as you leaned back in your seat.
"Worlds end." Reginald replied. "Paleozoic, Jurassic and so on."
"We can do something about this one." You said, leaning towards him.
"Man's greatest flaw, the illusion of control."
"We need your help." Five said, ignoring his previous statement. "All right? You're my last sane option. Otherwise, I gotta make a deal I really don't wanna make."
What the hell was he talking about? He had more then one option? What?
"What do you know about time travel?"
"In theory?"
"In practice."
"I know it is akin to descending blindly into the depths of freezing waters and reappearing—"
"As an acorn." Both you and Five finished together.
"What transpired when you tried traveling before?"
"I botched it." Five replied.
"How?"
You snickered. "He jumped to far forward and got stuck for 45 years in the apocalypse. Then he jumped to far backward, except this time he brought all of us with him."
"What she said." Five leaned back in his chair.
"Maybe your appetite is disproportionate to the size of your abilities. Start small. Seconds, not decades."
Five scoffed. "Seconds?"
"Mmm."
"No offense but I need a bit more time for what I'm trying to accomplish."
"So much could change in a matter of seconds." Reginald mused. "One could overthrow an empire. One could fall in love." Reginald motioned between you two, and you yourself scoffed. "And acorn doesn't become an oak overnight."
"I was really hoping you would have more than that." Five said.
"I'm sorry I can't be of more help."
"I'm sorry too." Five said, looking forward. "I gave you such a hard time as a kid. But I didn't know any better."
Reginald paused, before lifting his glass. "No skin off my teeth, old man."
You chuckled, finishing your glass.
~~~
"Five!" You hissed as he shoved you onto Elliot's bed. "Diego and Lila screwed on here."
Five bit lip, hesitating. Not gonna lie, that was kinda gross.
But he was horny.
"UP BA BA BA BA." You said, pushing him back. "I'm not your wife. You wanna screw, go find a Delores's Mom or something."
He tilted his head to the side.
"Who said I wanna screw?"
You opened your mouth to say something, only to feel Five's lips crash into yours. It was a lie to say he was... "experienced", but he was still adorable. Still contemplating whether you should take the lead or allow him to live the fantasy for being a dom, he looks up suddenly.
He heard something. Something quiet... like footsteps. Like a door closing.
"Five!" You yell, and yank him back down.
He chuckles, whispering apologies. Maybe it's the cognac, maybe it's him. Maybe it's the tension you two had for the first 12 years of your life. But this time, one thing is for sure.
You aren't gonna let him win... not tonight.
•••
To read the full version, check out "Cocky:Filler Chapters". It's in there... somewhere..
•••
"What was it like? Alone?" You asked, eyes fluttering shut, your arms latched around him.
"Cold." He said, squinting at the window. "So, so cold. The fire was hot. Everything was on fire, but it was so cold without you. I found you, in the apocalypse. You were still alive somehow. And you spoke to me. You said you loved me. It made me even colder."
"You're poetic when you're drunk."
"You're annoying."
You looked at his eyes, his face, the two moles on his cheek.
"I forgot your name," you confessed, laying back down on his chest. "It's haunted me for years. My husband would beat me for it whenever I would cry about it. I forgot your damn name. You know mine, but I can't even think of yours. I forgot your name."
"So did I."
You can feel the tears trickling down your cheeks now, dripping off your face and hitting his bare skin.
"You've cried over me?"
"Every day. Every day, the world got darker, everything got bleaker. The flowers didn't grow anymore. The buzz from the drinks didn't help anymore."
"He beat you?"
You blinked.
"He killed my child, Five."
"What?"
The tears roll down faster now, but you never sob. Your voice never breaks.
"I mentioned you while I was pregnant, and he beat me, beat us so hard that they died. I couldn't protect you. I couldn't protect Vanya. I couldn't protect Ben. I couldn't protect my baby."
He goes quiet for a minute.
"I would have loved a daughter." His voice slurs, his eyelids becoming heavy. "I'm too.. old.. now..."
His soft snores greet your ears.
"I would have, too."