Maya's POV:
My thoughts from earlier won't stop replaying in my mind. I try my best to push them aside but it's no use. I have this undeniable sense of guilt washing over me and I can't help but give in to it. As intense as my feelings are becoming for Lucas, my culpability is getting just as strong. I know after everything that went down between Riley and I, we don't owe each other anything.
Then why do I feel like I'm betraying my best friend?
"She's doing fine Maya..." I snap out of my thoughts and place all of my attention onto him.
"Huh?"
"Riley, she's doing fine. I know you worry about her." I don't bother looking up at Zay as the words leave his lips. I continue to play with the hem of my shirt.
"Does she... does she h-hate me?" My voice betrayals me more than I would like to admit. It's true that the thought has come up more than my liking but I want to know if I lost Riley forever.
Zay takes a deep breath before he decides to speak. I can tell by the look in his eye that he is currently at odds with himself. I need to know how Riley feels about me. Especially with the new founded guilt that has been consuming me, I feel as though I can't continue on with my relationship with Lucas without knowing this answer.
"I don't know Maya. I think as the time has gone by, Riley started to let go of everything. But she still holds some resentment to you, especially since you and Lucas are still so close." I can't help but feel hurt by Zay's words. I know he's only being honest but I have to admit I don't like what I'm hearing.
This situation is so messed up. I hate how bad I feel because of how my friendship with Lucas is affecting Riley. Despite everything, Riley has been there for me through a lot in my life and no matter what has taken place, nothing can erase that...
Maybe I should back away from Lucas a little bit?
"Don't even think about it." Zay announces with a stern voice.
"Think about what?" I question unsure about he's talking about.
"You're not making anymore sacrifices. Forget about Riley for once." I look over at Zay and see how serious he truly is. I know he means well but he doesn't get it.
No one does...
"It isn't that easy Zay." I admit letting out a sigh.
"And I don't want to be talking about this when Lucas comes back." I add.
Lucas left almost forty minutes ago to bring us back some lunch. I don't want him walking in and overhearing our more than personal conversation. This is something I don't want Lucas to ever find out about.
He is taking a bit longer than usual though...
"Would it be such a bad thing if Lucas found out?" Zay questions and honestly I can't think of anything worse.
"Yes it would. I didn't make the choices I did to get rewarded. No one was ever meant to find out." I explain, I am finding it difficult to meet Zay's demanding eyes. I know he wants to talk me out of my more than stubborn opinions but there's no way I'm about to let him.
"Besides it wouldn't change anything. Lucas would've still picked Riley over me." Zay doesn't bother replying. He knows what I said holds some truth to it. No matter what I did, there was nothing I could've done for Lucas to have become mine.
And in all honesty I wouldn't have done anything to take him away from Riley, even if I actually thought I stood a chance.
"I always wanted him to pick you Maya..." My eyes widen at his words. I never knew how much Zay actually wanted Lucas and I to end up together.
"Really?" My voice comes out softer than I anticipated.
"I always thought you challenged him in a way that Riley couldn't. She was the safe option. You bring something out in him Maya, when he's with you it's like he's a completely different Lucas." A smile appears on my lips instantly. I'm happy to see that Zay thinks I'm good enough for his best friend.
Before I can even thank Zay, the front door opens. Lucas appears with a questionable expression on his features. He seems like he has a lot weighing on his mind. He places the pizza down where Zay and I are seated. He goes to fetch us plates and napkins in the kitchen, before he joins us.
"So what were you guys talking about?" Though the question itself seems to be completely innocent by the look in his eyes and the way Lucas is staring at me, I know he must be suspicious of something.
"Nothing. Just catching up." Zay says effortlessly but Lucas doesn't dare to take his eyes off of me.
"You sure that's all Maya?" I can barely escape the daring look Lucas is providing me with.
Why is he acting so weird?
"Yeah that's it." I mumble as a grab a slice of pizza.
An awkward silence bestows us as we're all eating our pizza. I know something is upsetting Lucas, he isn't frustrated or angry. But you can tell something is bothering him.
All of a sudden there's an urgent knock on the front door.
All three of us look at each other in confusion.
As I get up to go to the front door, the knocking hasn't let up.
"Maya I know you're in there." Josh shouts from the other side of the door.
I instantly stop my movements.
I look back at Lucas. If he wasn't frustrated before, he definitely is now.
I let out a deep breath before opening the front door.
"What the hell Maya." Josh let's himself into my apartment.
"Why didn't you say anything to me before you just left last night?" My eyes go wide as I take in the situation in front of me.
Zay is here and completely clueless about everything. I don't want him finding anything out...
At least not like this.
I can feel everyone's eyes locked onto me. Zay is looking confused as ever, Josh appears disappointed and finally Lucas looks absolutely frustrated.
"C-can we talk in my room please?" My voice comes out soft and my eyes appear pleading.
Josh takes a deep breath before nodding his head. As I lead him into my bedroom I don't dare make eye contact with the two boys seated on my couch.
I close the door behind us and take a seat on my bed. Josh soon follows. We sit silently before he decides to speak up.
"Why did you dodge all my calls?" His eyes meet mine and I can't help but feel guilty for ignoring him.
"I'm sorry Josh. Mrs. Humphrey called and she needed me to watch over the kids. It was some kind of family emergency and by the time I went to bed my phone died and it's been charging in my room ever since this morning." I lie and I almost don't have it in me to see the sad puppy dog look on his face.
"It's okay I understand. But honestly Maya you've been acting weird the last few months. You ditched me and then didn't reach out to me... The old you would never do that." My heart aches at his words. I can't deny the truth that lies in them.
I have been neglecting my friendship with Josh ever since the James incident. I know that I needed to distance myself from the party scene and by doing that I distanced myself from Josh which wasn't right.
I should've at least given him an explanation.
"You're right. I have no excuses I'm really sorry. I promise things will change from on." A smile appears on his lips and he brings me into his arms.
"I have to admit, I'm kinda over the party scene... just for now though." I inform Josh against his chest.
I know for our friendship to continue growing, I would've had to tell him that I'm not comfortable going to parties anymore. I don't want to have to worry about that or having to lie about not seeing him or the twins.
"Understood." He whispers in my hair and just like that I smile against his chest.
"Do you want anymore pizza-"
Before Josh and I can pull apart, my bedroom door flies open.
At the door stands Lucas. His eyes are locked on Josh with his fists clenched at his sides.
Looking like a deer in headlights, my eyes are open wide with a more than shocked expression on my face.
Josh pulls away from me and moves to stand up.
No one dares to say a word.
He walks over to the door where Lucas is standing but he doesn't pay any mind to him.
"I'll see you later Maya." Josh says with a smirk on his lips. He looks over at Lucas before he exits my bedroom then proceeds to the front door of my apartment.
"Lucas it isn't what you think." I speak softly as I stand up from my bed.
With caution I walk over to Lucas who still hasn't moved from his previous spot. His eyes are glued to me and his expression holds one of anger.
Why do I feel as though I just got caught cheating?
I slowly reach out to grab a hold of his arm but he pulls away from me.
"Lucas please." I plead softly but all he does is remain silent and walk away from me.
I let out a sigh before trying again. I walk up behind him and gently lay a hand on his shoulder to encourage him to turn to face me.
"I upset Josh last night. I left without telling him anything and I was just apologizing that's it." Lucas finally turns around to face me. His eyes searching mine before he speaks.
"You told me your friendship with Josh wasn't like ours." Despite being upset, Lucas stays calm while speaking to me.
"And it's not." I add.
"Why isn't it?" Although he questions is seemingly harmful, I feel a weight on my chest just thinking about saying the answer out loud.
Huckleberry is looking at me intensely awaiting my answer. The urgency in his eyes don't go unnoticed.
"I'm just closer to you that's all." I shrug taking my eyes away from Lucas.
He reaches his hand up and places it under my chin. He turns my head so that I can look at him directly.
"Closer in what way Maya?" Lucas eggs me on.
"I'm just more open with you okay? I'm closer to you emotionally and physically I guess. Now can we drop this conversation?" My voice comes across more desperate than I anticipated but I don't like talking like this. It makes me feel like Lucas can read me so well.
"Physically eh?" A stupid smirk dances on his lips as his hands go to hold my waist.
"Shut up." I state while rolling my eyes at him.
"Oh come on Maya. I know you like it when it get physical with you." Huckleberry let's out a loud chorus of laughter.
If this was any other situation I would probably be remarking how much I love his dorky laugh.
"Whatever Friar." I move to leave his hold but he doesn't let me. Instead he pulls me closer to him so that I'm up against his chest.
"Don't be like that Shortstack. I'm only playing around." His chin rests on the top of my head and his arms hold me tightly.
As much as I want to fight him, I have to admit I love the feeling of being held in his arms. So for this one time I let him get away with it.
"What's taking you guys so long-" For the second time today, my bedroom door opens and there stands a surprised Zay.
His eyes are widen and he looks completely speechless.
"I'll just wait for you guys to finish up...." He says before walking out of the room and closing the door behind me.
Lucas rolls his eyes at his best friend and has a playful grin on his face. He pulls away from me and heads to the door.
"Doesn't anyone know how to knock anymore?" I huff and Lucas lets out another chorus of chuckles.
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This chapter is so cute🥺
I hope you guys enjoyed reading and let me know what you think of the story so far. Don't forget to vote and comment!
-Shanti♥️