This is the last of the three updates, hope we didn't skip any❤️
This update ia dedicated to Teefabulous
Looll, I know she's surprised. Babe, you'll soon know why😂❤️
Song for the chapter is 'To be young' by Annie Marie and Doja Cat (media above ❤️)
~GIWA~
"You haven't been texting that boy again, right?"
I looked up, snapping out suddenly out of my thoughts and whipping my head over to my mum whose concentration was roughly divided between me and the road as she handled the staring wheel that afternoon.
"Hmm?" Was the only sound I made, insinuating a 'come again?'.
"Hmm!" She retorted almost immediately, sarcastically as a response to my absent-mindedness.
I chuckled lightly, shaking my head at the woman.
"You want me to repeat myself because you were lost in your thoughts, right? Abi, you want me to lose focus and have accident on this road now. Do you know the last time I drove a car?" She was saying to me, as she tightened both hands on the staring and occasionally glanced between me and the smooth road infront of her.
"Godforbid." I said, rebuking every possibility of a road accident and laughing softly at my mum's wittiness.
"Oya, what were you thinking of? Start talking!" She ordered, turning the staring all of a sudden and sharply reversing on into a new lane on the road.
God help us to not have an accident really. I asked her to just let Bolanke take me to Essence, a counseling center that my mum was adamant on having me visit. However, she aborted the idea, saying she rather be take me, claiming she needed to keep a close eye on me.
True to her words, I actually didn't regret having her with me. She made me zone out less and visiting Essence didn't turn out a bad idea. I liked how warm and calm the councillor had made me feel so far. However, this should be about the fifth day since this Tuesday and I have still found it hard to fully open up to the lady about my problems for some reason.
"Okay? I'm waiting for you to start talking anytime soon," Mum hinted, reminding me.
"I wasn't thinking of anything, really." I responded, lieing confidently.
"And that boy? When was the last time you texted him?" She inquired still.
"Thursday. The day you told me to stop. I haven't texted him since then." I told her truthfully.
"Good." She nodded, satisfied.
She suggested I needed a break from everything else, to ease my mind of all the stress.
She was right, but it was hard. I forced myself to not be idle by occupying myself with my books at all times.
I even stopped coming for classes. I showed up at school, yes. Early as a bed infact, just to stay away from all the extra attention from my classes. Staying away from morning assemblies became a norm for me the entire week too.
Where did I conceal myself all these while? Well, in the school senior library. I showed up to school as early as 6am and find myself a warming seat at the back row of our library, hiding from the world between the partitioned desks of the library and I stay there and study up until school time is exhausted, and then I leave for home.
That way, I manage to distance myself from everyone that reminded me of my current situation, as well as my possibly deranged, vengeful classmates.
I hadn't spoken to Ivandor since that Monday, and I didn't really have the courage to. I tried reaching out through texts, but oh well.
And Shade? We talk...I guess? We don't chat or gist or stuff like that, more like casual heys' and a simple half-hearted wave whenever she saw me in the library. That was it. Nothing more than that.
Prissy? I hadn't even seen her at all with my eyes the entire week. Mostly, because I never come out of the library anyways. She was most likely, always in her class or something. Still, a part of me refrains from talking to her. A part of me isn't just willing to...I don't know why.
Hassana? I'd rather not even bother to hear her name at all. It just sickens me, no matter how much I try.
"You know, staying away from everyone and everything right now for your peace of mind is actually the best thing you can do for yourself." Mum said to me.
"I know." I responded. It did help to an extent.
"As selfish as it sounds.." she tilts her head towards me as she talks, hands still on the wheel. "...your mental health and sanity should come first."
I nodded, agreeing.
"And also, your studies." She adds.
"Yeah."
"As unsettling as this may be to hear....after graduating from secondary school, you may never get to see any of those people again. Everyone may just end up going their separate ways , working towards making a living, and struggling to make ends meet. Would you want to jeopardize your future for people who may not even remember you in the next 50 years?" She asked me.
It did unsettle me hearing that.
I couldn't tell if she was talking about Ivandor or my friends. Or all of them.
Thinking deep into the future in a way scared me. It made me wonder...if all of these was really just a waste of time..
..if even fighting for Ivandor was a waste of time..
What if we don't even end up together?
What if he grows up and falls in love with another?
What if I put him as priority and he gives up on me. Then, in the next 50 years, he has a whole family of his own with the love of his life and I regret giving him that much of my time, energy, and mental health?
Would it be possible for us to end up together and last? Even if we got back together through a miracle...would we last?
Do secondary school lovers ever really end up getting married?
"It's a 2 out of 10 chance if I'm being honest."
My heart dropped at my mum's reply.
Did she read my thoughts? Or did I say them out loud?
"You asked if secondary school lovers get married.." Mum was saying.
I asked out loud?
"None of my friends ended up with their highschool boyfriends." She answered plainly.
Jesus.
"I heard one of them actually made it to the university...but, oh sigh. It still ended up in tears." Mum told me the hard truth.
She said it so casually as she handled the staring.
Yet, she was scaring the shit out of me.
"I did hear one time about this our seniors who had been dating right from Jss2 though." She said, like she was rethinking.
"And?"
She shrugged. "I heard they got married, sha, but they're the only ones I know of. No one knows if it's true anyway. I heard that sometime in the university. We may just have been comforting ourselves anyway. If you decide to look deeper into it now, they may not have even ended up together as people so claimed."
I didn't even know whether to feel comforted..or not.
"S-so..D-Dad..." I stuttered, scared stiff already.
"What happened to your father?" She asked.
"Y-you you guys didn't meet in secondary school?" I asked slowly. Carefully. Like, I was picking my words.
Mum laughed. Like, she really laughed. So heartily, throwing her head back and even nearly getting her hands off the wheel.
I didn't even laugh. I was too horrified too.
"Giwa Oluwadabira Falade!" She called my full name, as she rounded up that laughter, getting her focus back on the road.
"Look, I'm not saying this to scare you, okay? If fate allows it, you can go a long way with that boy, and probably get married, if fate permits. But then, If he isn't the one for you...then so be it. In the end, you will be happy and satisfied with whoever it is you end up with. Out of all the boys that wasted my time, at the end of the day, your father made me the happiest. If Ivandor isn't for you, another young man will make you happy. So, will another young girl do for him. In the end, both of you will be fully satisfied with your life partners." Mum told me.
"That's not very... comforting." I admitted.
"Don't think about it." Mum waved off. "Look, Ivandor is the present. You can wade off the thoughts of someone else making you happy for now, since only he, makes you feel so happy as at now. All I am saying is that you shouldn't make anyone a top priority over everything else in your life when you are still so young. You have a lot ahead of you, Giwa. A whole beautiful future that I am certain of. Don't risk that for anyone. Okay?" She said to me.
I nodded, swallowing her words bit by bit and pondering on them slowly. "Okay."
We got to the councelling centre in the next five minutes from then.
I had already gotten so used to the place by now. Although, what that always didn't sit well with me was the drinking and smoking joint that neighbored it closely. Too closely. Right next to a councelling centre.
Oh, Nigeria. My country.
As soon as we parked in the lot with the few cars that were present, mum turned to me.
"This is the part where you work in and meet your councillor." She said to me.
I looked to the big white building in which we had parked in it's quiet-as-a-graveyard compound. It was completely white, with sliding doors and windows that were photochromic.
"Remember to trust your councillor, okay? They can help talk to you. Even more than I can, if possible." She said, and I giggled.
She smiled back warmly and threw her arms around me in a hug.
"I love you, sweetie." She whispered in our hug, before breaking away.
"Don't forget to give me a call when you are through, okay? I'll be coming with Bolanke and Nini, so we can meet up for the evening holy Communion service in church today." She said, instantly reminding me that it was Sunday, and we still had another service in the evening to catch up with asides the morning one.
"Okay." I agreed, before she let me leave the car.
She drove out, quickly after I had walked into the building.
The Essence building was quite big. The only rooms that I was familiar with were the reception and the office of my councillor.
When I stepped into the reception, I walked straight to the counter to meet the young girl, about a few years older than me, who usually stayed behind the counter.
"Good afternoon." I greeted her.
She threw me a warm smile that lighted up her pretty dark face.
"How are you, Giwa." She asked me politely.
The fact that she remembered my name was quite sweet.
"I'm fine." I responded.
"You want to meet your councillor?" She asked me.
Well, it looks like she's going to end up doing all the talking for me, lol.
"Yes." I answered.
"Well, Mrs. Tibiebi Jackson will be with you in the next fifteen minutes. Your sesson with her starts exactly 3:30 and ends 4: 10." She informed me.
I smiled, understanding, before I walked to the reception seats to sit down and wait for my time.
After what felt like ages of me waiting endlessly amd staring back at forth on the white coloured walls of the reception, the fancy chandelier that hung on the ceiling, the mounted wooden counter the nice receptionist was on, and the red and blue tiled floors of the floor, I finally decided to check the time and see how much longer I had to wait here.
I whipped out my phone and looked to it's screen. 3:17pm.
Jehovah Nisi. You mean I've only been sitting here for two minutes? Oh, Lord.
Just in the middle of my internal complaints and impatience, a familiar figure walked into the reception through the doors.
"Yure?"
I couldn't help but say his name out loud.
He halted on his tracks on hearing his name, quickly looking around and spotting me seated on one of the seats. His eyes narrowed slightly on me, as he himself also seemed confused seeing me.
However, he quickly just waved it off and walked on to the reception lady and after some seconds of speaking with her, he made his way towards the seats of the reception, specifically towards my row.
"Umm..hi." he said, as he adjusted himself against the seat right next to me.
I smiled weakly in return, not sure exactly how or what to say to him.
Yure and I haven't ever really been one to be talk to the other. I was even surprised he came here and said hi. Even when I started connecting with the others, I was never ever really particularly 'friends' with Yure.
I sure was surprised he was here, and to be honest, I felt I knew why. Maybe, he too had been dealing with some problems on his end.
.. problems I escalated for him that day...
..and made his issue known to the school, risking him a suspension, and ripping him off the enjoyment of prom..
Yet, he didn't seem to blame me at all for anything. He even had the decency to say hi.
Wow.
Maybe, he wasn't as bad as I thought. Maybe, he was never really as bad as I thought he was.
"Why are you here?" I found myself asking.
His head turned to me, and he considered my question for a while.
"I needed it." He simply responded. "It's my first time here actually."
"Did you come with anyone?" I asked him.
I hoped he didn't. I wasn't ready to see anyone from Castron High here.
"Nah." He shook his head, a small, almost sad smile, lifted the corner of his lips. "I'm alone."
The way he said it...
I'm alone..
He was alone.
I did notice how none of his other friends looked his way anymore. For a while now. Only, but recently, I only ever saw him with Nova.
In a way, we were almost suffering the same plight.
"I actually drove down here myself, it took a while finding this place," he was telling me.
"Oh." I responded.
There was sudden silence between us. Our conversation wasn't flowing anymore.
Something got into me and I found myself saying, "..about that day...I didn't mean to share your business out to the entire school like that and I know it's caused problems for you and.."
"Nah, we're good." He came in immediately, cutting me off.
I looked at him, surprised. A breathy chuckle left him as he smiled an adorable smile that showed a very tiny, single dimple on his left cheek.
Has he always had that?
"We're good, Giwa." He told me, assuring me with that smile that made me look at him differently. "All is forgotten. Like it never happened."
"Wait.. really?" I had to ask again.
He nodded on response, shrugging slightly. "Yeah, really."
I couldn't believe how nice he was being to me. Made me even rack my brain to remember why I even ever hated him in the beginning.
"I only wish I got to tell her myself, that's all. But, it's happened already. Neither you or me can undo the past." He said to me.
"You wouldn't have gotten the post suspension with me." I was saying.
"Leave it." He dismissed. "Atleast, I'll get to have a break from those rascal Ss2 boys."
I actually laughed. God, Yure was ALWAYS at loggerheads with our immediate junior boys. All the freaking time, he was dealing with their case.
"The only thing that kind of bothers me is prom." He admitted, sobering me a whole lot.
Well, this was the part where I had to say I was sorry. For some reason, I couldn't quite say the words. I was sorry about a lot of things, but looking at things now, was I ready to admit it..and actually say the words "I'm sorry."
It's different with texting it...could I actually say it?
"But anyways..." Yure's voice props me back to earth. "It's not like I would have had a date to prom anyways, so maybe it was better if I couldn't go, right?"
I smiled weakly, not sure of how to respond to him on that.
"Prom is the least thing on my mind now anyways," he sort of mutters to himself.
Yeah... of course, he had other problems too. And all of a sudden, I didn't know why I cared.
"What about Krisdana?" I asked.
He shrugged. "She probably hates me."
"And are you going to give up on her?" I found myself asking.
"I don't want to." He answered.
Understandable.
"But, I guess I have to." He added.
I don't want to, but I guess I have to..
I wish I had that courage to make that decision for myself too.
"It would be unfair for Kris to have her take me back." He shook his head, in a way that made me feel he just analysed and judged himself in his head.
"I'm toxic for her." He said, shocking me with how confidently he ascertained the situation, like it was true.
"I won't lie to you that I don't want to have her back, because I actually do. But, I don't know..with everything that's gone down, it's made me realise that sometimes, in life, shit happens, and we don't always get what we want. And also, sometimes, what we want may not be good for others." He told me.
He shook his head again, like he was confirming his thoughts. "I'm not good for Kris."
The way he admits it so boldly..
Wow.
Was I good for Ivandor?
Even if I wasn't, was I ready to let go?
"All I really want now is to be on good terms with everyone. I'm ready to have a good platonic relationship with Kris. She was and will always be an important person to me and I can't stand her resenting me...." He continued.
"...even if I deserve it.." he muttered to himself.
"Don't say that.." I wanted to say to him. Instead, I asked him;
"What about Prissy?"
I saw a tiny glint in his eyes that cleared off almost immediately.
"We already talked. Infact, we both had settled to be just friends even before the whole thing happened..." He was saying.
Oh, really.
"Yeah, but still, I think I need to reach out to her again and just apologize for leading her onn so blindly." He told me.
Aww. I was actually short off words.
"She really held me like I meant the world to her and I knew that, yet I kept fucking her over again and again.. just because she kept letting me....I...I'm just stupid, I don't know..." He was lamenting to me, sighing.
"I'm just a dumb fuck." I watched him curse himself out and I felt bad for him, wishing he could stop.
"You shouldn't say that to your self. From one thing I've learnt during this councelling period....self hate is poisonous." I told him.
"But Giwa, I really fucked up." He was arguing.
"So? We all do, because we're simply human." I countered, quieting him.
"You're not a bad person, Yure. You're human. We all make stupid mistakes that are uncalled for. But that's what makes us human. We can't take them back. Believe me, I know how it feels.. wishing you could take back everything, but shit happens. Sulking about it won't make a difference. We should only think of ways to fix our messes." I told him.
"But, it's so hard." He said.
I know.. it is. It really is.
"If we try and we can't fix it, we just let it be." The hard truth came out of my mouth.
"We'll just have to forget it and move on with life. At least, we know we did our part. All that'll be left would be to put it all aside and focus on our priorities." I told him.
When he turned to me, I could tell he didn't quite understand.
"Your priorities. Your studies and your life in general. My mum told me this afternoon that you shouldn't place anything or anyone over it." I told him.
He nodded, understanding.
"And yeah.." I noted, recalling something else. "During the school meeting, your parents had said something about you being in the hospital..."
I was caught off by a chuckle that escaped his lips.
"You don't even want to know what happened." He told me.
"What if I do?" I asked, playfully, a part of me feeling strange that I was being this communicative with Yure of all people.
"I showed at Krisdana's place. Worst idea I ever thought of." He said.
Woah.....what happened?
"I knew it was a bad idea," he was saying. "..but, I was so adamant on talking to Kris that I didn't even care about the worst. I felt, at that point, that I needed to talk to her. Like, it was the only thing I should do. I wasn't even interested to know what anyone had to say about it." He told me.
"I sure paid for my stubbornness. It only took the grace of God for her brother to not murder me in their compound." He said.
He shakes his head and lets out a sigh. "I'm not 'self-hating', but sometimes, I bring these problems to myself. I'm way too stubborn sometimes...and even too my own subconscious. It tells me one thing and I do the exact opposite."
Relatable.
"I do what my body wants, not what my spirit wants..and I do it, without even thinking about the consequences. Maybe, if I listened to my inner self more, I would have brought less damage to my life." He said.
I could say the same for myself too.
On the outside, I made people believe what I wanted them to believe about me because of my past. Meanwhile, somewhere deep in me, I actually wanted to show my softer side..the side Ivandor so much believed in..I wanted to always be there for the people I loved and showed them I loved them...
..but, I was too scared of being taken advantage of. So, everytime that part of me inside tries to get a hold of me, I chained it back down.
Maybe if I had listened to my inner self...I probably would have avoided a lot of damage as well..
..then, I probably wouldn't have met Ivandor..
So it all balls down to that fact that everything that happens in life, happens for a reason.
I couldn't help, but note how much Yure and I could relate in this.
We were almost similar.
I mean, we both have that stubborn part in us. The part that closes up our 'common sense' from functioning.
We also have that part that constantly gives us reasons and makes us believe that whatever action we want to take is the right action. It's still unrelenting, adamant.
We both aren't afraid to walk into fire. Although, while mine is out of bravery and strong headedness, he just rather involuntarily....whether intentionally or unintentionally walks right into the fire, even before thinking about the implication. Burning.
Most of all, we both were flawed. Very flawed. In our own different ways. We both make mistakes and try to fix them. In the end..
".. we're still human." We both say at the same time, softly, a smile grazing both our lips as we watched our imperfect selfs.
We always never used to get along, and if anyone told me, that one-day, I would be smiling with Yure Adediji, I may have cursed their generation.
Giwa Falade and Yure Adediji had always been like fire and water. Yure, the hero of the day, and Giwa, the villain. The head girl and head boy that could never stand each other, could never come to a compromise, because the two were always opposing each other. Always believing we were right in our own way. Both of us, to stubborn with our perspectives and beliefs to even come to an agreement.
Lol.
You know what they say. When you don't see eye to eye with someone, check out the real reason why. You may only just hate people because they are just like you....and truthfully...you may just only have a problem with yourself.
And rethinking...that may just also be the exact same reason why I truly never got along with Krisdana too.
All in all, all I was seeing right now, was a potentially beautiful friendship with Yure. And if Krisdana permitted me to, I could also say the same for her.
"Giwa Falade?"
Yure and I turned simutaneously to the reception girl who just called my name, smiling at me.
"That's your call." Yure said to me, with a smile.
"Mrs. Tibiebi Jackson is ready to see you." The reception girl said, right after.
I nodded, waving Yure a good bye, and going in to see, through the entrance that led to the rest of the building, heading upstairs to my councillor's office.
It took me less than a minute to get there, and in no time, I was with her, in her cold, air conditioned, spacey-as-hell office.
Being here took the ease off me. She made her office so warming to be in.
"Good evening." I greeted her, and her brown eyes lit up immediately, as a very pretty smile appeared on her pretty face.
She really was a beautiful woman. Very, beautiful. I could easily tell she was still in her twenties. Early thirties, at most. Infact, if she wasn't in her twenties, she should be 30 on the dot. I admired how brown her chocolate skin was and her eyes were a clear, colour I couldn't point out...like it was hazel or something, I couldn't find the exact colour. She had this very rare, exotic kind of beauty.
"How are you, Giwa?" She asked me, her voice warm as always.
"I'm fine." I smiled, pulling out the seat facing opposite her desk to sit.
"Are you sure?" She asked me, immensely concerned as she looked at my face.
I was about to be head strong as always and claim to be. That's what I had been doing the other past days...it had been she, trying to get me to open up, but to no avail.
But, this time, I decided to open up and tell her everything. Every single thing. And I did.
It felt good opening up to her finally, and the words she told me afterwards, I didn't let go of them...I saw myself applying them in every step of my life thereon.
Not long after my session, Mum had sent a message telling me that they had to go earlier for the service, and had promised to be here by 6pm.
I looked at my phone, after it felt like forever waiting here. 4:20pm.
Oh, jeez. I'm going to be staying here for a while. I instantly started wishing I brought my headphones or something.
I waited anyways. When it clocked 6, I whipped out my phone to dial my mum, and immediately paused when I realised_
"Oh fuck." I cursed.
"Any problem?" The nice reception girl asked me.
I turned to look at her, and saw the worried look on her face. "My phone doesn't have network."
"Really?" She frowned at that, and picked up her own phone, a random Tecno phone. "Wow. Neither do I."
Oh, great. Sarcasm intended.
"Try checking outside." She told me, and I agreed.
I got outside the building, standing outside in the compound to try reaching mu mum again, but no such luck.
"Why is this happening?" I grumbled in frustration, proceeding to temporarily leave the compound and try again.
I found myself outside, only but narrow walk distancing me from the main road itself.
I shuddered, startled by the loud laugh that arose from behind me, and only settled when I realised that it just came from the smoking and drinking joint that I kept wondering why it was so close to the councelling centre.
I ignored it, and focused on reaching my mum, letting my legs wander on, by itself, as all my efforts proved to all fall to no avail.
"Oh, Lord!" I muttered again, dialling the number one more time.
Why all these stress? If only she juat came by 4 as she promised, I wouldn't have to_
I paused.
I stayed absolutely still.
What?
Did I just hear someone behind me ....giggle?
I did another double take, when I actually looked around me.
Where the fuck was this place?
I was basically standing on a narrow road that was designed with portholes that surrounded itself with bushes.
What the fuck?
Having the fact that it was already getting dark, all I could pick out was the fairly, bad road I was walking on, the street light quite a distance away that I recognized to be the same one that I had passed some minutes ago. I knew it mounted right in front of the councelling centre, but it seemed quite afar off...
I don't understand.
Had I really walked that far?
And why didn't I notice?
And...
I paused again, hearing tiny whispers of voices.
What the hell was happening?
First, giggles...now..voices?
Am I being followed?
"Lord, help me." I silently prayed, starting to feel the presence of something.. someone.. getting closer..and closer.
It became clear I was being followed.
My heart started to race and my breathing became erratic, as the fear overwhelmed me. I started to think of the worst thing that could happen to me right now.
Rape.
Death.
Rape.
Death.
I knew I wasn't safe. Instantly, the only thing my mind screamed at me was 'get the fuck out of here!'
I got into action, but froze when I saw it.
Them..
Figures..not one, not two, not three. A whole dozen of them..a fucking battalion or something..all coming up front, walking towards me... the faces of the figures were not too easy to make out.
I didn't even want to know who they were. I ran.
I ran the opposite way. Where I was running to, I had not a clue.
I heard swift footsteps behind me. Multiple footsteps, like the people who were coming were now running after me.
I nearly slumped on the spot, scared still, my heart beating at a dangerous pace as I ran for my life. They felt closer and closer, but I kept running, never stopping, aiming to leave these bushes soon and reach the other side of the main road or something.
When rough hands grasped me from behind, I screamed a piercing scream and a devastating punch shut me right up. I was startled by the sudden assault on my face, and the pain from the blow froze me in shock and spread itself all through my brain, nearly paralysing me.
That punch was definitely from a male, no questions asked.
However, as soon as I was held down by a stronger force and left struggling. Bare, hard chest also indicated it was another male and immediately, I heard a female voice screaming at me.
"Foolish good for nothing brat! We will deal with you today!" Whoever the girl was spat out, and I could have sworn I recognized that voice from somewhere.
I knew the girl.
But the ache in my head made it difficult for my brain to function properly. I couldn't attach the voice to a memory.
However, I didn't even have the chance to.
"You girls can handle her." A gruff, male voice came in, backing off me at once.
All I remember was feeling excruciating pain from there. A large number of girls charged me. My vision blurred with countless slams against the ground, sand stinged my eyes badly, and the ones that were stuffed in my mouth choked me. Slaps, punches, kicks, blows from hard objects, came from all directions, and I wished I could just die already, than feel all that was being lashed out on me.
Slowly, my body was going numb. My vision was blurring second by second. It all started to move in slow motion.
Until finally, finally, with a final blow to my head...
Everything went blank and that was it.
I know, I know, you're thinking tf?
Well, 11 chapters to go (gulps metal in my throat)
Relax, relax, let's be calm first😂❤️
Tell me who you think is behind what just happened to Giwa and why?
Also, what's your take on Giwa's mum's advise concerning love in highschool??? Share please.
And on side note, I don't know but writing this chapter warmed my heart and made me feel a certain way towards Yure...I..I..think I'm in love, but he may play me, so I'll forget it😪🤧
Finally, I hope we enjoyed the updates. Next update is on Saturday. I've tried naw, abi? Love you guys loads!! See you on Saturday!!❤️