Chapter 32: Monochrome Characters. Not black or white, but grey exists too.
I walked into my room late at night, feeling... apprehensive? Worried? Nervous?
No, what the fuck is this.
The maids silently worked on getting me out of my clothes and into my nightgown. They wiped my face clean of the make up and undid my hair. Soft velvet slippers were placed gently under my feet and Avea stood by, observing them, ready to attend to me.
I cleared my throat and before I could ask for some water, she had already prepared a glass for me, bringing it to me. I took it quietly, drinking it all. The maids finished with me and stood, waiting for further instructions. Avea watched me for a moment, before waving at them, dismissing them from the room. They curtsied before leaving and I heard the door shut gently behind them.
There was silence in the room, until I broke it.
"That fucking bitch...." My voice was a mutter through gritted teeth, my grip on the carved-crystal glass tightening until my knuckles were white.
"She won't be a bother to you anymore, my lady." Avea's murmur was meant to soothe me. Strangely, it worked.
"How did he find out?" I asked, loosening my fingers and placing the glass on the dresser beside me.
"When Marquess Viridis confronted her, she confessed to everything, my lady."
"...She didn't even try to hide it?" I finally looked towards the mirrow, watching the reflection of my red-haired aide behind me. She looked as expressionless as ever as she reported it to me.
I was returning from dinner with my father.
...It was quite a surprising dinner.
A bomb was dropped onto me.
"Come back with me, Nora..." His eyes looked nervously but earnestly into mine. He'd leaned forward and taken my hands into his, displaying his desperation. "I've been away from you long enough. Living was a punishment, all these years... all these years without you, without Kaira. It's been hell. Hell, and I was in it all alone."
My breath had stuck in my throat. I pulled at my hands, just a little. It's like I'd intended to leave his grip, but stopped midway. Stopped and felt the warmth a little longer, of those older, rougher, calloused sword-wielding hands.
Alone?
"You have a family," I mumbled, averting my eyes and trying to pull out again, and once again, stopping myself.
What the fuck? I chided myself. How childish, not letting go of this hand.
"No!" He shook his head. "No!"
I furrowed my brows and he continued.
"I've never once considered them my family. I never once touched Thalia."
What...?
"But your daughter..." I spoke in a confused voice and he raised his eyebrows in shock.
"She's not mine! She's your step-sister! Have you forgotten?"
I felt a little numb with surprise.
"She's Thalia's child out of wedlock. It's why they wanted to have her married off however, those backward, dim-witted Ceridwens. Emory is Thalia's illegitimate daughter, whose lover has long passed on."
Eleonora was never the focus of the story. Only her obsession with Cassian was. And so, her family history wasn't of much importance in the story. But still, what the fuck.
I was living with such a big misunderstanding this entire time because of this damn amnesia. It explains Viridis' treatment towards me now, this truth.
"But you don't have to worry about them anymore," he said quietly to me and my eyes snapped towards him, a strange feeling taking place in my already throbbing chest.
"Emory left the house a long time ago. She went to study in Erdal."
I'd heard of the Erdal Kingdom. It was known for its numerous batches of academics that were changing the shape of the empire.
So she's a smart one...
And? What about the other?
"Thalia..." Viridis closed his eyes for a moment. "I've already discussed it with the Ceridwen family. What she did was inexcusable. Punishments were discussed and it was decided that she..."
He looked at me with a grave expression as he spoke.
"She's been sent to the Temple of Amara, to atone for her wrongdoings. She won't be back... ever, if I can help it." His grip on my hand tightened a little, as if to show his determination.
Amara was a sort of rehabilitation centre, where ranks or statuses didn't matter. It was huge humiliation for nobles to be sent there, where they often faced mockery from the commoners that were present. Even so, the treatment wasn't too bad, and with bribes, nobles could afford better quality rooms at the least. As all institutions, it was an easy bite for corruption, so rules could always be bent by the powerful. That's just what nobility is.
"So you don't have to worry, Nora." My father continued. "You don't have to worry about anything. Just come back with me, and we can live in Ilaria together. No one will bother you again, and I'll take care of you. We'll live, just like old... times..." There was a crack. His smile broke a little and realization hit me.
Even with this problem fixed... indeed, it won't be just like old times. Kaira was...
I changed the position of our hands, and now mine wrapped tightly around his. I nodded.
"You did well," I told him. "You did good, dad." My thumb gently caressed his fingers and I smiled at him. "It mustn't have been easy. Talking to her, talking to them. Thank you." I slowly... slowly, reached my hesitant hand to his face, where I rested my fingers across his cheeks, counting the lines and wrinkles that weren't present in my memories of his. "Thank you for protecting me."
Even if you were late. In the book, you were far too late. If it had continued that way, you wouldn't have been worthy of any mercy or forgiveness. You would live with Nora's curses on you forever, and you'd have to die with them. And you'd deserve them.
But somehow...
Somehow, you've managed to turn things around.
He gave me a pained smile, and my own grew as I watched him gently, trying to comfort him.
I am grateful. You are one less person I have to curse.
And I am grateful, because I have someone on my side.
I asked him for some more time before I returned to my room with Avea, where we sat right now, discussing it all.
"They went easy on her, deciding on Amara. She was to be executed at first, for what she did to you. That was what the original discussion between the Sollea family and the Arcturus family had been, until the Ceridwen family resisted, asking for mercy and Sollea agreed."
Execution? I gulped, feeling something restricting my breathing again. What a scary word. And it was related to me somehow.
"A-and..." I let out a breath, trying to relieve the pressure I was feeling. "Arcturus, as in the duke of Aldebaran was in on it?"
Avea shook her head. "The duke has currently placed his responsibilities on Lord Cassian to help him learn how to handle matters of the dukedom."
I raised an eyebrow. "So he was involved in the discussion too."
He must have been the one to come up the idea of Amara. In the book, he'd given the same recommendation of punishment to Iveren for an abusive relative.
Avea smiled a little. "He's the one, my lady."
I furrowed my brows a little at seeing her expression. "What?"
"He's the one who told the duke to have her killed."
The sound of my fingers accidentally nudging the crystal-glass was heard in the room, along with a sharp intake of breath from me. I'd noticed Avea's satisfied smile in the mirror before my mind went into a whirlwind of uncontrollable thoughts.
The main lead isn't acting like himself. And I'm supposed to spend my last days out here, in this estate in the capital, not Ilaria. But now my relationship with my family is all better, and the main lead... wasn't at all who I thought he was. This... doesn't even feel like the same book anymore.
...Can I even say I know anything at all? When I first came into this world, the thought, the idea that I had a little power because I had knowledge about this world, that's what had helped me control my thoughts and myself a little. It's what helped me not freak the fuck out at the fact that I was suddenly taken from my world and put into a completely different and strange one. It was the idea that this was all a book, and I knew what was going to happen that comforted me and helped me feel a little safe.
But I had to face reality now. Things were not going according to the book, and my actions were having real, huge consequences. This world is in its own way, having a reaction to my actions, which means it matters now what I do and it means it doesn't matter anymore, all the things that I know. This world that I thought was a book... was now really becoming my reality. I have to face it now, as my own reality, instead of a book with just characters.
"My lady?" Avea murmured and I snapped out of my existential thoughts.
"Huh?"
"Are you alright?" She very slightly raised her eyebrows with concern and I waved my hands, looking around a little strangely, and then trying to act normal.
"Uh... yes, how did you know, anyway?" I asked her, realizing something. I furrowed my brows as I watched Avea now with a curiosity. "How did you know about the discussions amongst the three territories?"
She gave a sort of satisfied smile. As if praising me for asking the right question.
"My brother Altair is an aide in the Arcturus family. He'd told me everything, my lady."
What... I raised my eyebrows, thinking how strange this is.
"Are you okay to be telling me this...?" I questioned her, feeling suddenly apprehensive. "About the discussions... they were private." And about your brother as well...
Avea watched me unblinkingly, with an unconcerned face. "My lady wanted to know about it, yes?"
"Huh? Well... yes." I was growing increasingly confused. What about it?
Then Avea... began to walk towards me. I unknowingly gulped at this. She picked up the crystal pitcher of water and moved towards my dresser. I heard her voice as she poured the water into my glass.
"If my lady wants something..."
She picked up my glass and turned towards me. She smiled as she held it in front of me and I slowly took it from her. Then, she grinned. I noticed in her smile how sharp her canines were, resembling a little those of a vampire.
"I shall provide it. Whatever it is."
Whatever it is...?
Didn't she just take a huge risk letting out the fact that her brother was telling her private conversations of the dukedom...? And whatever it is...
There was silence in the room.
Avea leaned towards Nora, and reached out her fingers. "May I touch your hair...?"
Nora nodded, and satisfied, Avea took a lock of Nora's hair between her fingers, playing with it as a smile made its way on her face. She thought to herself about why she had willingly stuck with Nora for so long.
It's because you are just so cute, my lady. Like a little... well, it may seem offensive to hear, but it isn't at all so in my heart. You are like a cute little pet, my lady.
Avea had written it in a letter addressed to Nora, only she was never to send it. Why? Because the misunderstood reaction would be too bothersome. Her intentions were never ill, but they'd be taken as such. Frankly, it wasn't Avea's fault that she was such a person. This is just how she perceived the world and its people, ever since she was young. In the letter to Nora, she wrote:
Ever since I was a little one, it was all too boring. I am a noble as well, you know that, right, my lady?
Well, I am a sort of a genius, if you allow me to say so myself. Everything is quite so easy. Everyday is the same old, same old. I never quite understood why people did the things they did, or why they reacted the way they did to the things that I did. So Altair and I decided to work with people, to understand them better. We like receiving instructions, you see. It takes away the burden of having to decide for yourself. Especially, since for some reason, we kept making decisions considered erratic by the society.
Then I was sent to you. And I realized, you are quite like me. Only, being honest, you weren't quite smart enough to hide it, like Altair and I. Or, you just didn't care. It was interesting to hear about you, and now I got to observe you.
But... what's this? The infamous beast of Ilaria was quite easy to tame. A little affection, a little attention and there you go... just like a cute little rabbit, who pretends to bite. It's adorable even when I give in to you!
Even now... it's obviously easier for me if I never let you know of this reality, but my lady... the thought of seeing the expression you'd make when you hear of this... it was too exciting to resist. So I wrote this letter, and I like to imagine you reading it. The expression you'd make would quite be like a little rabbit that's been surprised. Ah, how adorable.
Maybe I shall give you this letter after all. But... don't misunderstand, my lady. Rabbits are quite dear to me. In fact, I much prefer animals to real people. They are somehow easier to read and much purer. But I quite like you. You remind me of something much dear to me so, my dear lady... I shall provide you with whatever you require. I shall be with you, my dear rabbit. And I shall take care of you. Don't worry, and don't think too much about me seeing you in this way. For if I saw you as I see other humans... I'd have rid myself of you a long time ago.
But you, Lady Eleonora... are my sweet little rabbit, that always pretends to bite and escape my hands, only to melt into my fingers when I show you the slightest affection. You've grown quite dependent on me, and how I love it. So I don't wish to stop now. I will give you all the carrots you want, and everything else.
Because you are so cute, dear bunny.
"Because you are very adorable, Lady Eleonora."
Avea grinned leaned down, and grinned at me in the mirror.
I frowned, making a rather disgusted face. "What was I expecting from you? You're so strange, you know that?"
Her grin widened and she tilted her head, placing her hand on my shoulder. "But even so, my lady quite likes me, isn't that right?"
I was now clearly horrified. "What's gotten into you!" I went to stand but her grip on my shoulder pushed at me a little.
"Tch!" I averted my eyes, glaring at the glass in my hand, and then at the dress, the ceiling and I finally looked at her in the mirror with exasperation. "Alright! Alright... Fine... sheesh."
I scratched at my cheek and mumbled to myself, making sure she heard me. "What are you, some gangster? What a red-haired devil. No, it's quite the perfect name for you."
"Yes, Lady Eleonora?" She asked, prodding me and I pursed my lips before sighing dramatically.
"Yes, alright. Whatever would I do without you, Avea. Thank you for everything you do. How amazing you are. Happy now?"
Avea finally lifted her hand from my shoulder and I jumped up, heading towards my bed. I didn't look at her face but the air in the room was awkward, probably because my answer was unsatisfactory even to me. Avea was much more than that. She had been such a huge support to me. It was true when I said whatever would I do without her. I was quite dependant on her now.
Avea turned of the lights of the room and moved towards the door. I realized she hadn't wished me a good night as she usually did. I got into my bed, wrapping the blanket around me and shutting my eyes. Then I blinked them open, a little nervously. I watched the light from the corridor seem into my bedroom as she opened the door. I fidgeted with my bedsheet. Then I opened my mouth.
"Avea..." I called out and she stopped halfway out the door to turn towards me. Once I had her attention, I felt even more uncomfortable, but I knew I had to do this.
"Avea... thank you." I mumbled, then raised my voice a little to make sure she heard me. "Thank you and... uh... good night. And I don't know what I'd do without you so uh thank you for everything, Avea. Yeah... Good night."
There was an awkward silence in the room and just as I was about to screw it all and bury myself head deep under the blanket, I noticed Avea grin at me.
"Good night, my lady."
"...She's smiling a lot today," I muttered as I turned away and she shut the door with a chuckle.
Avea walked through the corridor with an uncontrollable, excited smirk.
Yes. Her little bunny was quite cute indeed.
And she decided she'll protect her.
No matter what.
The puppy sent to Nora...
Really turned out to be a wolf.