Sydney's POV
I stared at the wall clock inside my office. I've been feeling a little dizzy from reading the reports of our company. Pakiramdam ko nga parang mabibiyak na ang ulo ko sa kakaisip ng mga numero at figures. I need to learn all those things, to help me someday but I think I was pressuring myself too much. I decided to take a break to relax myself and just breathe some air.
I told Dad that I'm taking the afternoon off and he allowed me. I called Yssa to see if she can accompany me. Feeling ko kasi masyado akong stressed and tensed these days. Habang papalapit ang araw ng kasal namin ni Justin ay lalo rin akong kinakabahan. Dumagdag pa yung pressure sa company kasi malapit nang itransfer ni Dad sa akin ang management. And I can't fail nor disappoint him. Unfortunately for Yssa, she can't go with me today cause she has a prior commitment. So I decided to go the mall all by myself.
Hindi ako mahilig mag spa but for this day, I wanted to take off all my worries. I just wanted to clear my head so I decided to have a foot spa and also some pedicure and manicure. While they were doing my pedicure, I suddenly drift off to sleep. It wasn't that long though.
Pagkatapos ko doon sa spa ay pumunta ako sa department store. Hindi ako mahilig mag shopping at mamili ng kung ano-ano, but again, today is an exception.
Pumili ako ng tatlong dress. Yung isa kulay baby pink na tube at hapit sa katawan. The other one is color beige, it's an off shoulder, ending just above the knee. It has ruffles on the chest part. I like it. The third one is sunshine yellow. It's a floral, spaghetti strapped dress ending above the knee. It's so comfortable to wear. Pagkatapos ko doon ay nagbayad na ako at umalis bago pa man ako magsisi sa pagbili ng mga ito.
Habang naglilibot, nakaramdam ako ng gutom kaya naman nagdecide ako na kumain sa isang french restaurant na nakita ko. I was about to enter the said restaurant when a guy caught my attention. Hindi ako maaaring magkamali. Kahit nakatalikod ito sa akin ay kilalang kilala ko ito. That broad shoulders, and that familiar hairstyle. He was happily eating and he's not alone.
I glanced at the woman in front of him. She was smiling all ears as she was listening to him talk. She's beautiful, she actually looks like a model. Her body is slender, she has that blonde wavy shoulder length hair. She wears light make up that really complimented her face and enhanced her beauty. I felt betrayed and hurt. Instead of eating, I just went straight to home and locked myself in our room. Feeling ko tuluyan na akong magkakasakit sa nakita ko. I was feeling so bad that I fell asleep.
Nagising ako bandang alas nuwebe nang marinig ko ang pagbukas ng pinto. My heart was hammering too fast. I don't know how to face him tonight after seeing him with another woman. I heard him ask Yaya Thelma about me.
"Yaya, andito na po ba si Sky?"
"Opo Sir. Kanina pa po siya umuwi. Masama po yata ang pakiramdam. Dumiretso po sa kwarto niyo eh."
"Sige po, thank you. I'll just check on her."
The door suddenly opened and I was left with no resort but to pretend that I was sleeping.
I heard his footsteps getting nearer. Then he sat beside me and put his hand on my forehead. I heard him sigh.
"Hey, baby. Wake up. Are you alright? Ang init mo."
I feel like I was delirious. I opened my eyes and saw his worried face.
"Did you eat baby?"
I just shook my head. I don't have the energy to talk.
"Come on, upo ka muna babe. Kukuha lang ako ng bimpo at palanggana. I'll also get you some food and medicine."
Pinilit kong bumangon kahit pa pakiramdam ko ay nanghihina ang katawan ko. Sumandal ako sa headboard ng kama habang hinihintay si Justin na bumalik.
Pagbalik niya ay may dala na siyang palanggana na may tubig na maligamgam. Nilagyan niya ito ng alcohol. Binasa niya muna ang bimpo at pinunasan ako sa noo, sa leeg, sa kili kili at sa buong katawan ko. Tinulungan niya rin akong magpalit ng damit. Nagsuot lang ako ng oversized T-shirt at pajama. Ilang sandali pa ay muli siyang lumabas.
Nakaramdam ako ng pagkahilo kaya naman sandaling ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko. Maya maya pa ay bumalik si Justin na may dalang tray. Nagluto pala siya ng soup.
Nilagay niya ang tray sa lamesa. Kinuha niya ang kutsara at sumandok doon sa niluto niyang soup. Hinipan hipan niya ito bago isubo sa akin. Hindi ko naubos yung soup pero hindi rin naman niya ako pinilit. Pinainom niya ako ng gamot at pinagpahinga muli. Ilang sandali pa ay nakatulog na ulit ako. Nararamdaman ko pa ang paminsan minsan niyang pagcheck ng temperature ko. Buong gabi siyang gising, sa pagmomonitor sa akin. Na touch naman ako doon at naisip ko na siguro, mali lang yung nakita ko. Hindi ako dapat mag assume ng masama kasi alam ko namang ako lang ang mahal niya.
Kinabukasan, nagising ako at nakita ko siyang tulog habang nakasandal sa headboard. Nakasuot pa rin siya ng slacks at polo. Magulo ang buhok at mukhang antok na antok. Naawa naman ako bigla sa hitsura niya kaya ginising ko siya at pinalipat ng higa para makatulog siya ng maayos. Thanks to him, at mabilis na gumaling ang sakit ng ulo ko. Hindi niya ako pinayagang pumasok sa opisina ngayon kasi baka raw mabinat ako. At para masiguro na hindi ako aalis ng bahay, umabsent din siya para asikasuhin ako. Siya ang nagluto ng pagkain namin. Ang swerte ko talaga sa kanya.
Days passed by, I already went back to work. This time, medyo nag lie low muna ako para hindi ako ma stress. Two weeks na lang kasi, ikakasal na kami ni Justin. I just can't help but feel nervous and excited at the same time. My anticipation grew each day. I feel like fainting any moment.
Hindi ko na kinompronta si Justin about that day. I mean, other than that, he never showed me any reason to worry. In fact, he's been really sweet and caring. Yun nga lang, these days, he's really been busy.
Minsan, hindi na kami nagkikita kahit nasa iisang bahay lang kami. Sa umaga pagkagising ko, paalis na siya o nakaalis na. At sa gabi naman, tulog na ako pagdating niya. Naninibago ako kasi nasanay ako na lagi kaming nag-uusap, and lately, hindi ko na siya naabutan. I wonder, are we still on the same page? Minsan sa gabi napapaisip ako, is he backing out? Sawa na ba siya sa akin kaya ganyan? I don't want to think negative, but I can't help it. Kapag tinatanong ko naman siya kung bakit late na siyang umuuwi, he'll just say na he's busy, or overtime. But tell me, may overtime ba na minsan hating gabi na natatapos? I know I'm being paranoid, but knowing what happened before, I'm just afraid.
I sighed. Lately ay nagiging ganito ako. I'm emotional, a little moody, I'm paranoid and I don't feel like myself. I easily get irritated over petty things. Nagiging unreasonable ako. I may not admit it, but I know it has something to do with the way Justin is acting strange lately.
"Arrggh! Ayoko na. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about anything anymore."
I was talking to myself so loudly that some turned their heads on me. Tumayo na lang ako at kinuha ang handbag ko. This is it, I've decided to do what I think is the right thing to do. I'm going to confront Justin. I just needed to know what he's up to. I'm going crazy everyday just by thinking why he's been so busy. Andaming pumapasok sa isip ko, I need answers. And only he can answer me.
I went to the parking lot and opened my car. I immediately drove to their office. Medyo malayo sa opisina ko ang building nila but I don't mind. I don't think my mind can wait any longer. Napahampas pa ako sa manibela ng kotse ko nang makita ko kung gaano ka traffic.
Habang nasa daan ay pilit kong kinakalma ang sarili ko. Alam kong walang maidudulot na maganda ang magpadala sa damdamin. I know he has a reason kung bakit late siyang umuuwi, kung bakit lagi siyang busy. Maiintindihan ko naman yun, he just have to tell me. I don't like the feeling of being untold. I feel like I was kept in the dark.
I was about to park my car when I saw him walking out of the building. He was with her again. I felt my heart getting crushed at the moment. He was talking to her. Parang nilukot ang puso ko habang pinapanood ko silang naglakad papunta sa kotse niya. Naka-abrisyete sa kanya ang babae. Pinagbuksan niya ito ng pinto at maya-maya pa umalis na sila.
Pinigilan ko ang mga luha ko. Now's not the time to cry. Pinaandar ko ang sasakyan ko at sinundan sila. Nagtatago lang ako sa likod ng isa pang sasakyan pero hindi ko hinahayaan na makawala sila sa paningin ko. Ang sakit sakit, akala ko nagbago na siya. Pero siguro nga, hanggang sa huli hindi pa rin ako sapat sa kanya. Siguro nagsawa na siya. O baka narealize niya na hindi pa talaga siya ready para sa isang seryosong commitment. I know I should give him the benefit of the doubt pero ang puso ko ngayon, durog na durog na. I trusted him. I trusted him again kasi naniwala ako na mahal niya talaga ako.
Napapansin ko na palabas na kami sa siyudad kasi wala na halos ang mga nagtataasang mga building. Saan sila pupunta? Anong gagawin nila? Kailan pa ito nagsimula? Mababaliw na yata ako sa kakaisip kung bakit, paano niya nagawang lokohin ako sa pangalawang pagkakataon.
Medyo malayo na rin kami, patago pa rin akong sumusunod sa kanila. Pumasok kami sa isang subdivision. Sa hindi kalayuan, huminto sila sa harap ng isang bahay. It was a two storey house, with a balcony on the second floor. Mukhang katatapos lang sa pagconstruct nito. Kulay pink ang pintura sa labas ng bahay. Hindi ko namalayan, unti-unti na akong pumasok sa bahay. Malawak ang harapan nito at may mga landscape sa gilid. Mayroon na ring mga bulaklak na nakatanim, at may shed na malapit dito. Namangha ako sa nakikita ko. It was my dream house. Hindi ko mapigilan ang pagtulo ng luha ko. Kaya pala masyado siyang busy, may ibinabahay na pala siya nang hindi ko nalalaman. Hindi pa nga kami ikinakasal, may iba na siya. Parang sinaksak ng punyal ang dibdib ko.
Naabutan ko sila loob nang bahay. Nag-uusap sila at mukhang hindi nila ako napansin. There's no turning back now. Kailangan ko na silang harapin. Ayoko nang masaktan ng paulit ulit. If he's not really happy with me, and if doesn't want to marry me anymore. I will let him go. No matter how painful it is, I have to let him go. I cannot trap him into a marriage that does not involve love. I just can't.
"Siya ba Justin? Kaya ba lagi kang busy? Laging late umuwi? Sana ininform mo naman ako di ba? Para naman sana nakapaghanda ako."
I don't how I said those words without flinching, without stammering and crying. I am so broken right now.
Nakita ko ang pagkagulat sa mukha ni Justin, pati na rin nang babaeng kausap niya. Hindi makapaniwalang napatingin siya sa akin. Hah, akala mo siguro manhid ako. Marupok ako, pero hindi ako tanga.
"What are you doing here babe?"
"What am I doing here? Bakit? Ayaw mo bang malaman ko ang mga kalokohan mo? Two weeks Justin. Two weeks na lang, ikakasal na tayo. If you really want that girl, then break this fucking engagement. Ang sakit lang, bakit ngayon ka pa nagloko? Bakit hindi noong hindi pa kita pinapansin? I let you into my life again, to my son's life because I believed that you love me. I guess I was just assuming things."
"What? What are you talking about? No one's breaking the engagement. I waited too long to be with you, to finally marry you. Bakit ka ba nagkakaganyan? Bakit andali sa'yo na sabihin yan? After all that we've been through?"
He looked so hurt. And for a moment, I was thinking if I was wrong.
"Please Just. You broke me once, I don't know if I'll survive another heartache from you. If you're not happy with me, I won't force you to marry me. Pwede ka pa rin namang maging ama kay Marco kahit magkahiwalay na tayo. You will always be his father. Ayokong makulong ka sa akin knowing na may iba nang nagmamay-ari sa puso mo."
That's when my tears fell. I couldn't hold it any longer. Sobrang sakit para sa akin na sabihin iyon pero mahal ko siya. At hindi ako selfish magmahal.
"No, I love you. You were always the one for me. I love y---"
"Idiot!"
Natauhan kami parehas nang biglang binatukan nung babae si Justin. When I looked at her, she doesn't seem to be mad. She looks amused? She looks like she's trying to hide a smile, but then she ended bursting out laughing.
Okay, so anong nakakatawa? I raised my eyebrows at her.
"Oh my God, Justin. You are so dense. Can't you see your woman is jealous of me?"
I felt my cheeks heat up so I looked away.
"Hi, you must be Sydney. Justin told me about you. He's so damn in love with you. By the way, my name is Calista Annalise Villegas. Justin's cousin."
"W-what?"
Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko. I mean, all that drama for nothing? Nakakahiya, andami ko pang sinabi tapos pinsan pala niya ito. Shucks, could this day be any worse?
Napatingin ako kay Justin na ngayon ay nakangiti na rin. Ang sarap hambalusin ng mukha niya. Sana naman ipinakilala niya muna sa akin di ba? Pinandilatan ko siya.
Lumapit siya sa akin at ginulo ang buhok ko. Saka ko lang din narealize na napahinga siya nang maluwag.
"I'm sorry babe. Mali ka nang iniisip, I swear. So this is Cali, she's my cousin. Cali, meet my future wife. Sydney."
"What? How?"
Naguguluhan pa rin ako. Sigurado kasi akong nakilala ko na ang mga pinsan niya.
"Magkapatid ang mga ama namin. Siguro nagtataka ka kasi ngayon mo lang ako nakita. Actually, I just came back from France. Doon ako nag aral ng Interior Designing. And this brat cousin of mine, bribed me to do the interior of this house."
I looked at Justin with a questioning eyes. He sighed.
"Well, this is supposed to be a surprise. This is supposed to be my gift for you on our wedding day. I was planning to show you this after our wedding. Kaya nga minamadali ko na para sana makalipat na tayo dito. Alam ko kasi na gusto mo ng bahay na may malawak na lawn. At may garden. And besides, I think mas maganda dito kaysa sa condo. Dito, malayang makakapaglaro si Marco sa labas ng bahay. Sa condo kasi para siyang nakakulong. Gusto kong maging maganda ang childhood niya. At gusto kong mapasaya ka. Kaya lang, naunahan mo na naman ako."
Mula sa bulsa niya ay kinuha niya ang susi at ibinigay sa akin. I don't know how to react. So this house was for us. I was speechless, my tears just kept flowing. Kung kanina sobrang sakit ang naramdaman ko, ngayon naman ay umaapaw ang kaligayahan sa dibdib ko. I ran to him and hugged him tight while I cried on his chest. What an unpredictable day. Too bad, I ruined his surprise.