19:43
October 31st, Saturday
｡ₓ ू ₒ ु Police Hat ू ₒ ु ₓ
Horrible idea.
That's what this was. A horrible idea. This was literally how I felt the last time I attended a large social gathering. The fall dance at school.
Is it that hard for me to learn my lesson?
Parties aren't for me. They aren't.
Everything is so overwhelming. I'm getting a sensory overload.
Should I just go to the park right now?
It's been like 10 minutes, Pat, come on. Are you really leaving already?
Stop being so weird. Just stay.
I can't.
What was my problem? All the other kids my age loved parties and stuff like that. All of my friends do. Why can't I be like them?
It's just a stupid party.
Yet here I am, literally in the same situation a month ago.
Sitting against a wall, slowly bumping my head against said wall.
I want to leave.
I can't.
I can't leave, I can't stay. What am I supposed to do?
I just gotta stay an hour, at least. I can tough through an hour, right?
I take a deep breath and walk towards the door, reaching for the door knob.
Can I, really? Can I "tough it out"?
I close my eyes, eyebrows creased as my hands fall to my side. I gently pat my cheeks.
Fuck. Stop second guessing yourself. Come on, Pat. Be normal for once. Come on.
I put my hand on the door knob again, feeling the lock click and unlock as I twist my wrist.
"Finally," a voice comes from the other side of the door.
Oreo.
I wanted so badly to just close and lock the door again and stay there for the entire hour, but what good would that do?
I fully exit the bathroom and close the door behind me, coming face to face with Oreo, who's leaning against the wall directly across from the bathroom door.
He's wearing a simple red cap paired with baggy jeans and a red, white, and black shirt with matching sneakers. His wrists have black sweatbands on them.
Pokémon trainer?
"Oh," he says simply as he sees me, snapping me out of my little guessing game.
"It's you."
"Yeah," I say.
It's dead silent.
Shit. Why am I standing here? I should just go.
"You can uh. Use the bathroom, if you were waiting for that," I awkwardly say, swallowing a lump in my throat.
"Oh, nah. I thought Watermelon was in there," he tells me, scratching the back of his head. "She just disappeared."
"Oh. Of course."
Why did I say that? Why did I add that "of course"? God, that was... unnecessary.
"What?" he says, frowning slightly. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I don't know, man. Since you like her so much."
What was I saying?
I couldn't make myself shut up. Why can't I shut up?
"Look, I don't know what you're implying but if it's what I think it is, that's not chill. I know we aren't on best terms, but can't you leave her out of it?"
"God, yeah, I guess it isn't her fault that you got paired up with her for a project one time and decided she was more important than me, your best friend since 7 years old," I spit out.
"You were literally making me choose between you and her? Can't I have you both?" he asks, desperate.
"That wasn't what you did, though," I say, talking faster and feeling myself start to shake.
Why was I doing this? It was like my brain took a hold of my mouth and was just saying whatever the fuck it wanted to say.
"Well shit, man!" he says, his voice raising. "What the fuck was I supposed to do? I was like 11! I couldn't even make a friend unless it was you? How fucking selfish do you have to be?"
"Of course you can make new god damn friends, but you know it wasn't like that. You weren't even fucking taking to me. It was like I wasn't even your friend anymore."
"But you fucking were. My god, Police Hat, you literally didn't even talk about it with me? You just fucking jumped to conclusions and went with it. If we just fucking talked then I would have listened."
"You literally stopped fucking talking to me the moment you became friends with Watermelon and Orange. You didn't even look in my direction? What the fuck am I supposed to assume? I swear to god, if I didn't lose my shit at you, you would've kept ignoring me all through middle school."
"You don't even fucking know that! And could you blame me?"
"What the fuck is that even supposed to mean--?"
"Police Hat, you were literally one of the most lamest fucking kids in our entire grade. God, you were such a fucking snitch, did you know that? I was doing risky shit because I was a stupid kid and I knew you would fucking rat on me!"
What?
It's dead silent between us, as we both shake slightly, breathing hard, staring at each other.
Oreo. The kid who would defend me from the taunts of the other kids calling me a tattletale all throughout elementary school.
Calling me a fucking snitch.
How the tables have turned, huh?
"Shit, listen--" Oreo starts, closing his eyes and smoothing his white hair back with one hand.
"No. No... thanks. I shouldn't have fucking come here. This was a horrible idea," I tell him, feeling myself tear up. "Shit. Tell Kit to call me when she wants to go home," I tell him, shoving past him and speed walking to the door, trying to maneuver my way through the mass of people.
So much for "be normal for once".
19:57
October 31st, Saturday
＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ Pudding Cup ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊
The fuck?
I watch Police Hat storm away from a hallway and leave the house, not even realizing he bumped into me.
I watch him open the front door and leave, before turning to the hallway he came out of, frowning.
Why did he leave so hastily like that?
I make my way through the crowd, honed in on the hallway in question.
A minute or so of pushing my way through the huge crowd ("Jesus Christ, how many people did Watermelon reach?"), I finally make it through the crowd and peer down the hallway, to find Oreo covering his face with his hands, facing a wall.
I'm about to call out to him, until he suddenly punches the wall.
"Fuck," he groans, shaking his hand.
I carefully approach him, taken aback.
I've never seen him so... angry. Or sad? I can't see his face properly.
"Yo?" I ask him, leaning against the wall with my shoulder, where he's leaning on the wall with his head.
"The fuck happened. You good?" I ask him.
Of course he wasn't good.
He's silent. He doesn't move a single muscle.
"You aren't really thinking I'm just gonna leave you here all alone after that, are you?" I ask him, wondering what could make him punch something. He was usually such a passive and smiley guy. That was super out of character for him.
"Sorry," he whispers, voice cracking. He doesn't move.
This isn't going anywhere.
"I... saw Police Hat come out of here. Something happen with you two?" I ask, curious.
"Yeah," he says simply.
There's a silence as I wait for him to say something else.
As much as I want to know what's going on, I didn't really fell like pressuring an answer out of him. He would tell me what happened when he's ready.
"Shit. I think I fucked up," he says quietly and suddenly.
I stand there, arms crossed, as I wait for him to say more.
"I don't know. He started talking about middle school. Like, when we stopped hanging out. And... Fuck. I shouldn't have said that. Fuck," he whispers.
"Apologize to him if you fucked up so bad," I tell him, after a moment's silence.
"Look, I don't really know what happened, but if you think you fucked up so bad you should apologize, don't you think?"
He looks up at me, after being still for so long. He quickly looks away at the ground, saying, "Would he even want to see me?"
"You don't know until you try, will you? You've both been holding in your past for so damn long, I don't know how this didn't happen sooner. Looks like Police Hat couldn't really take it anymore. Don't you wanna... I don't know, fix things?"
"Of course," he says, facing the wall again. "I have for the past 4 years."
"That's not gonna change until you talk to him, ya know?" I tell him, tapping his arm with the back of my hand.
He stays there, still. I'm about to say something else, but he straightens himself up and looks at me, his face changed.
"Yeah... Yeah, you're right. What the fuck. This has been going on for... way too long. No more," he tells me, ruffling his own hair, as he begins pacing back and forth.
"Thanks, Pudding Cup," he tells me, stopping right in front of me, breathing slowly.
"Hell yeah," I tell him, lightly punching his arm.
"How 're you gonna find him though?" I ask him right after, raising an eyebrow. "He left the house."
"I think I have an idea," he tells me, flashing his signature mischievous grin.
A/N:
FINALLY JESUS CHRIST LETS GET A MOVE ON
OH MY FUCKKGING GOD I HAVENT POSTED IN A MONTH IM SO SORRY AHGGASHGSF I LITERALLY FRGOT THIS EXISTED PLEASE