''How very nice of you to grace us with your presence, Bell.'' The grin couldn't be slapped off his face. At least he's not mad.
Am I really being tricked right now? Did Joshua fucking trick me here?
My mind can't even comprehend what's happening. I must look insane, standing by the entryway, mouth agape, feet feeling like they're hammered to the Palladio ivory tiles of the hall. Almost oblivious of my environs.
He's in there. Here. He's here.
There's no way I can spend the day with him. No fucking way.
I snap my eyes up to Joshua's gleaming ones. ''Who the fuck is that in your kitchen, Josh?''
''That's Kayden.'' He practically sings. Oh my God. Was this the reason for his excitement yesterday? Did he just want to get the two of us here? What the fuck does he think he's doing?
''And you didn't think to tell me you were bringing other people around? What the fuck, Joshua?!'' I hiss. I know I'm just taking my nerves out on him but I don't appreciate being blindsided like this in the slightest.
He rolls his eyes, then leans the left side of his body against the doorframe and crosses his arms, clearly realizing I'm not coming in any time soon. ''I need to tell you when I bring my best friend around here? 'Cause, I gotta say, Bells. He's here a lot.'' He sounds so casual right now. I want to strangle him.
''If you're inviting me, then yes. You fucking tell me it's not just us.'' My nostrils are flaring at this point. I feel like some kind of angry bull.
He rolls his eyes, once again. Still as calm as ever. ''Would you fucking relax already? The guy can cook, and the more hands I have to help me on this, the better. So stop the fucking moping and get your ass inside.'' He leaves the door open before he turns back around and strolls off to where he came from.
He can cook? One flaw. God, please just show me one flaw. That's all I'm asking. There's no way he's actually as perfect as it seems.
I'm about to start moving when realization pulls me to a halt. I'm not wearing any makeup. That's not something I would usually care about, but now, it's making me want to reconsider turning around and leaving. Fucking fuck, I'm in sweats. I'm literally in a set of black puma sweatpants and the matching hoodie. Shit. I look like a fucking child without anything on my face. Like my height wasn't enough to dowel me for a 16-year-old, I also have the babyface to tie. Guess I never grew out of it. It's always been a problem of mine. I didn't think to put anything on because Josh has seen me worse than this, and I don't really care how I look in front of him. But Kayden... fuck. I can't believe I'm fucking stressing about not looking good right now. This isn't me.
I close the door behind me with a sigh, and force my feet to the direction of where two deep voices are coming from, and go through Joshua's bachelor's pad. Dreading every single step to the point of feeling like I have a 300-pound weight strapped onto my legs. Every step feels heavier than the last. I don't know how I'm going to do this. My organs are doing cartwheels inside my stomach, and the nauseating feeling only increases the closer I get to the silhouettes by the island in the middle of Joshua's grey and white kitchen.
Josh is the first to notice me walk in. He smirks, then gives Kayden- who's chopping something on some timber cutting board, back turned to me- a look, before he addresses me. ''So we've already done groceries, thought we'd get that out of the way before you arrived. Come take a look.''
That's when I begin to take note of his counter, lined up with rations, greens, fruits, drinks, meats, I think I even see some salmon on there. He's gone all out on this, damn.
When I snap my eyes back in Joshua's direction, they get stuck on a pair of hazel ones. My stomach drops. Kayden. Beaming down at me. With tears in his eyes? What?
Why does he look like he just got done bawling? And why do I feel some kind of string pulling at my heart by seeing him like this? His eyes are red, glossed over, and puffy, nose too. Even his tanned cheeks have a flush of crimson in them behind the stubble.
I frown, searching over his face. ''Hi?''
He chuckles at my astonishment, only escalating my confusion. ''Hey,''
I try to look past him for Joshua, wanting some elucidation on this. And my eyes fall on the flat panel, full of chopped onions in front of Kayden. Onions. He was slicing freaking onions. Ease up.
I drag my eyes back to his bloodshot ones. ''And here I thought Joshua was getting you emotional.'' I muse.
He snorts. ''The only way Joshua could get me emotional is going to be on the day it finally hits me this cabrón is actually my best friend.'' I don't think I will ever get over his accent. It's so thick and heavy. It's him. Hot.
''Ohh, the weeper's got jokes.'' Joshua ruminates, rolling his eyes. Making me shake my head and chest shake with silent laughter. ''I need you over here with the wraps, Bells.''
I round up the island and stroll to his side. He's got some packets of wheat tortilla wraps, smoked salmon, different types of garlic butter, lettuce, and some cucumbers. I know what he wants me to make. It's something I used to make and eat often during my obsessive dieting days. Back when I was perilously overweight and wanted a change before my senior year of high school would start. So that summer, I devoted all my vitality to dropping weight. And I did. I went back to school, over 50 pounds lighter.
It did come with a price though. The workouts and the constant watching what you're eating became exhausting and took a real toll on me. I was drained of all energy and strength. I became this whole other person, almost starving myself to fit society's standards. To stand next to my friends and not feel like a complete and utter outcast. It became noticeable in everything I did. Even behavior. That's when Josh realized all the mistakes I'd been making with my diet, thinking I was doing the right thing by holding off on everything. He's always been a health freak, so together we came up with recipes, rosters, calorie intakes, and even workout schedules. He helped me through it all. I've gained some of it back over the years, like I said, I do got some extra meat on me, and my confidence is not the greatest. But it got better. A lot better.
I look up at Josh, seeing him mirroring my expression, smiling down at me. I know we're thinking about the same thing. No matter how much shit we give each other, I love him like a second brother. He'll always be the person I go to when I get tired of the girls comparing their hookups dick sizes, and I just need to hang out and do nothing. I know that routinely, I hate men, but a guy best friend is totally different. Not once has he tried to get into any of our pants. We would've dropped him a long time ago if he had. The innocent flirting is restricted for Nara, and only Nara.
I see Kayden watching us from the corner of my eye but I keep my gaze down, reaching out for the pack of tortillas. I don't know how he manages to make me feel so exposed under his watch. I've never wanted to curl myself into a little ball and just roll away like I do when he's around. Just like right now. I want to duck my head underneath the island since I feel him observing me- us.
My nerves get the best of me and my fingers start trembling to the point of being incapable to tear the plastic package open. Joshua notices and takes it from my hands. Ripping it open in one go. I thank him, keeping my eyes down. I hear water running on the other side of the kitchen and look up to see Kayden washing his hands under the sink. Arms and muscles flexed and tight through the navy blue shirt he's wearing, with black basketball shorts, making his ass appear to be the best ass I've ever seen on a man.
Again. How does he do it? He's not even doing anything and I'm contemplating on jumping out of the window. It's the third floor... I'll probably make it out unharmed anyway.
''Bell,'' Josh's voice startles me since the only noise in the room for the last minute has been the rap song he probably requested his virtual Alexa to play. I look back up at him to see him watching me with concerned eyes. He brings his voice down to a whisper before he goes on. ''I'm sorry for not telling you he'd be here. I didn't think It'd be a big deal.''
I shake my head with a strained laugh. ''It's not. Don't worry.''
He nods, seemingly convinced. Men are so stupid. ''You got this?'' he points around the wraps and salmon.
''Of course.'' I smile in reassurance. He plants a quick kiss on my forehead before he starts ambling off to the bags of staples direction. Forehead kisses are his thing. He either crushes us in bear hugs or a kiss on the forehead. We've gotten used to it.
-
I'm by the drawer on Kayden's side of the island- back to back with him since the drawer is behind him- to grab a knife to smear the Boursin onto the tortilla when the sound of a fourth persons footsteps makes all three of us whip our heads around that way.
My chest collides with Kayden's back. I mutter a quick, ''Sorry,'' when he turns around to face me, but he doesn't have time to respond before the person speaks up.
''Josh, baby. When are you coming back to bed?'' A woman whines. She's blonde- no surprise there, Joshua brought her here- literally only wearing a large white button-up shirt and nothing else. Hair pined up on the top of her head in a ponytail, rubbing her mile-long legs against each other, while she gives Joshua what I'm guessing to be a sultry look.
Joshua visibly pales, his eyes widen and he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, looking as stunned as I feel. ''You-you're still here...''
She giggles. ''Obviously,''
I hear Kayden make a sound from the back of his throat, and look to my left to see him pinch the bridge of his nose, eyes closed. ''Jesus Chris, Joshua. She's been here the whole time? We even went to get fucking food, you tarado. She could've robbed you blind.''
''How the fuck should I've known?! She wasn't there anymore when I got out of the shower!'' Joshua defends from the other side of the room. I'm so glad Nara has her classes right now and it's me that's here instead of her. I don't know what she would've done but this would've broken her heart. It's one thing to hear about his meaningless fucks. But to watch her come out of his room like she owns the place, trotting around half-naked, in his shirt... nope.
She looks around the room before her eyes land on Kayden, making her face light up even more. She walks forward in his -our- direction.
"And you are...?'' she nearly purrs.
I try not to gag or snort as I go back to the drawer to take out a butter knife, then go back to my side of the island and plop open up the tube of Boursin.
''Not interested.'' Kayden counters in response.
''Listen, Sarah. You need to go home.'' Joshua urges.
''It's Stella.'' Stella corrects, and although I'm keeping my eyes on my task at hand, I know she's fuming.
''Potato, patatho,''
This time, I can't keep the snort in. He's such a sarcastic asshole. No wonder I'm friends with the guy.
''And who the fuck are you?'' It takes me a good five seconds to realize she's talking to me.
I put the knife down, and look up to see her shooting daggers at me with her eyes. I narrow mine right back. ''I don't see how that's any of your business, blondie.''
''Excuse me? You're in my boyfriend's apartment, and you tell me it's none of my business?''
Joshua opens his mouth to argue but I hold up a hand to prevent him from saying anything. I got this. ''Boyfriend, huh? He seemed pretty damn single this morning when he fucked me against his showers pens...''
Her nostrils flare her chest heaving with deep breaths. She takes a large step in my direction. ''I would stop walking if I were you,'' I warn. I take my remark of not knowing what Nara would've done in this situation back. She would make this chick eat her own ponytail for dinner. Just like I'm about to do if she keeps coming closer. She's treading on thin fucking ice right now.
''Are you kidding me, Joshua? This fat bitch?'' She waves her hand up and down my body's length, pointing it out to Joshua. Girls like this disgust me. Such a shame too, since she's actually pretty. She's got the whole barbie vibe going on. Too bad she doesn't have the personality to match.
I smirk, trying not to look altered at her words. Nothing I haven't heard before. ''At least he remembers this fat bitch's name. Tell me, Joshua. Do you always forget your girlfriend's names?''
I swear I see flames come out of her ears and smoke out her nose. ''Tell the cunt to go, Josh. Tell her to leave and then maybe we can even have a little fun with your friend here,'' she throws Kayden a playful smirk. The same Kayden who's gazing down at her with nothing but loathing on his face. Fucking hell, he looks like he could kill her. The bitch is lucky she's not a man.
''It's fuckin' time for someone to go, yeah. But it's not gonna be her. Savannah, Sofia, whatever the fuck your name is. Get your shit and get out. I took you home last night with an mutual accord that this was going to be a one-time thing and you'd be gone in the morning. Not only have you overstayed your welcome, but you're also disrespecting my friend under my roof. I would never touch a woman nonconsensual, so please don't make me throw you out myself. You know where the door is.''
The room falls quiet after Joshua's dissection. Stella looks like she doesn't know what to do with herself. But when she looks around the room and sees the pure hatred and hostility on all three of our faces, she makes a show of stomping her foot and storming off.
For a whole minute, nobody says anything and the room remains silent. Kayden and Joshua are staring at each other, looking like they're having a whole teleporterary conversation, before Josh nods and walks out of the kitchen. Leaving me and Kayden all alone. Shit.
Kayden starts shuffling around the room wordlessly, walking towards the fridge.
''Would you like some water?''
The adrenaline is still brimming too high inside of me, anger pouring through my every vein, straining my every muscle. My head is telling me to walk my way to Joshua's room and throw the bitch out of the balcony myself instead of letting her walk out of here like this. Her not grasping the fact that the words she speaks are not meaningless and can actually affect others. I'm so fucking sick of good-looking people thinking they're fucking entitled enough to get away with every insult they throw out. So sick of them not facing the consequences of their actions and words because this world is different for privileged little them. But I know I should let Josh handle it before I blow this out of proportion.
''Isabella?'' I meet Kayden's questing eyes. ''Something to drink?''
''Does he maybe have anything other than water, beer or protein shakes in there?''
He searches inside the fridge for a moment, then turns around with a bottle of white wine in his hand. ''Chardonnay?''
''Perfect.'' I grab two wine glasses from the shelves above the counter. I need a fucking drink. The only things I drink are some specific sweet cocktails I like, and wine. White, preferably. But red will most definitely do with a good steak.
I place the glasses on the island and Kayden moves around it, coming up to my side. He starts filling them both immediately. I didn't even ask if he wanted any, he's just going with it. I love that. I don't know why but his presence and the fact he's not indulging me with pointless jabber or solace seems to pacify me. Like, insanely enough, he knows exactly what I need right now.
I start gulping mine down before he even picks up his glass.
A frown emerges over his face and I can barely look at it, he's so perfect. He wears every expression like it was made for him. ''You okay?''
''I'm fine, I'll just finish up these wraps.'' This was the part I was dreading. The smoked salmon. I love to eat it but the smell that lingers on your fingers afterwards is almost not worth it. I grimace as I open the packet. I notice Kayden watching me behind the wine glass against his lips. There's something so sexy about a man with a glass of wine.
''Need help with that?'' he questions, I don't miss the amusement in his voice.
''No.''
''Oh, come on. I finished his stupid healthy dips. I'll let you spread the creamy shit on the tortillas and I will just put the salmon on them.''
I shake my head. ''That's really not necessary. You'll stink.'' I make a move to open the bunch again, but they're ripped out of my hands before I get the chance.
I scowl up at the tower of a thief. He just smirks the sexiest smirk I've ever seen. ''Lucky for you, I like it dirty.''
He did not just fucking say that. The temperature in the room rises to what feels like 200 degrees with his eyes boring into mine, making me burn up like I'm having a hot flash. My stomach drops down to my toes and my face heats when he keeps his intense gaze on me, watching my reaction unfurl.
He's probably expecting me to flirt too. Dash it back. But I can't, and I'm not going to. But the fact that I'm seriously considering it right now scares the living shit out of me. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Walking into my life and making me feel like such a girl. What is this, some kind of little high school crush or something? Am I making up for all the years I've never crushed on anyone, by developing a huge one for this man here? If so, I couldn't have chosen a worse person. This guy works around the Adriana Lima's and Beyonce's of the world. He would throw me in the bin faster than a cigarette of his. I have to keep thinking with my brain in conjunction with him, and not a certain area that may or may not be throbbing for him right this second. Because I'll make bad, extremely stupid decisions otherwise.
I clear my throat and snatch my glass of wine off the counter again, being the first to break off the glowering. He snaps out of it as well, going in to tear the soil open, he grabs some pieces of salmon and places them on a cutting board. He starts slicing them thinner so they'll fit into the middle of the wrap.
I start to spread the garlic butter onto the tortilla and hand them over to him once I'm satisfied with the amount. I watch him put a couple of slices of smoked salmon in the middle, just like he watched me when I was smearing the butter. We run like this for a bit, laughing, teasing each other on our creations, and actually getting shit relatively done. When I've smeared all tortillas and passed them over to him, I start on the chicken salads. He keeps picking pieces of seasoned chicken out of the bowl and I keep whacking his fingers away. I do the same to his salmon, he also smacks my hands away.
''Lettuce,'' I laugh when he starts to roll the wraps shut without putting anything else in them. He twists his brow, puzzled. ''You're forgetting the lettuce.'' My voice comes out more squeaky than usual and I clear my throat.
He starts to guffaw before he takes the lettuce out of my hands. ''Oh my God, how could I forget the lettuce?'' he mimics my high pitch, overly exaggerated.
I laugh even harder. ''Oh, you think you're funny?'' God, I can't even remember the last time I've laughed this much. Or loud. The second glass of wine I just tipped back is really starting to make its appearance.
He grins. ''I think you're funny. What the fuck was that about Joshua fucking you in the shower?''
Oh wow, I really did say that, didn't I? I swear I have no control over my mouth when I'm mad.
''It just slipped out of anger, I guess.'' I shrug.
''Or have you been imagining it?'' he quirks a brow.
Okay, this conversation may be getting a bit weird.
I deride. ''With Joshua? That's fucking gross, Kayden.'' Even the idea makes me shudder. Ew.
He leans his elbows down on the island, now eye to eye with me, face a lot closer than I would prefer. Yet, I don't hate it. He smells fucking incredible. Amazing. Like freshly done laundry you want to cling onto. ''No, not Joshua.'' He mutters in that deep voice of his.
I want to tell him no. I want to tell him to move him and his stupidly perfect face to the other side of the room- or rather, apartment- but I'm unable to. Actually incapacitated and powerless to the point of being incompetent of speaking words or moving myself away.
There's a hint of something behind his eyes. Something I've never come across with anyone so I can't make out what it is exactly. It's so predatory.... Like lust. My throat is dry and my breathing is heavy. Not grasping what I'm doing, I run my tongue over my suddenly parched lips for some moisture. His eyes immediately dart to that region, then back to me, then to my lips again, and back up to my eyes. Suddenly he starts inching even closer and all oxygen clears out my lungs in anticipation. Fuck, is he going to kiss me? Most importantly, do I want him to kiss me? What is happening, and why the fuck did I just lean in further into him?
The front door being slammed shut with force has the both of us jumping straight out of our skin, back into the real world. Both of us avoid eye contact as Joshua walks back into the kitchen.
''Finally got her out.'' He groans.
''How many crazy chicks are you going to keep bringing into your home, Joshua?'' I sigh out, disappointment evident in my tone. I don't care that I sound like his scolding mother right now. He needs to hear this. It's past six or maybe even seven and he's kept some girl in here he'd been with the night prior, without even knowing she was hanging around here. Enough is enough.
He runs a hand through his curls. ''How the fuck could I have known she was like this? She was fine the night before!''
''Watch your fucking mouth. It was your insane girlfriend that walked in here and started insulting her. Why the fuck are you snapping at her instead of apologizing?'' Kayden barks. The last time I heard him like this, was with Scott. However, I don't need him to defend my honor.
''How many times is this going to keep happening, Josh?'' I keep my voice soft. ''We walk around the mall and one of them comes up to asks you what you're doing with some foreign bitch that doesn't even look like she's from here when you could be with them instead. We're out and one of them asks you what you're doing with the bitch that looks like she's been in a humid country for too long or whatever the fuck it was she said about my hair.'' It happens every single time we're out with him. Some of his old acquaintances always seem to find us and throw out insults at me and the girls like we're the reason for him not choosing to spend more than one night with them. ''I can keep going and going with these, you probably don't even remember, but I do. And today I'm the fat bitch? Do you even know what would've happened if the girls were here? You'd be bailing the five of us out of jail right now. That's what.''
He actually looks taken aback by my words. Probably because I'm not one to show or express a lot of emotion. I typically keep it in but the cup gets fucking full at some point, and it's bound to spill. I just wish Kayden wasn't here when it happened.
''You're right.'' He nods, smiling apologetically. ''I'm really sorry. I don't know what it is with me. Somehow, I always attract the hottest psychos. Fucker over there gets all the good ones with his golden Hollywood cock, or whatever the fuck it is.'' He muses, trying to bring some agility back to the room.
''Right about that,'' Kayden mutters under his breath. This is why I hate men.
Joshua notices all the food padded up on his counter. ''Damn, you guys did a lot.''
Kayden shrugs. ''What can I say? We're a damn good team.'' He beams down at me, holding his knuckles out for me to tap with my own. I roll my eyes, but do it anyway. Thank God it wasn't a high five, I fucking hate those.
Joshua beams even brighter than Kayden, watching the interaction. ''Yeah, I thought you might be.'' He mutters. ''I just ordered some pizzas, by the way. They'll be here in ten.''
This fat bitch. Fat bitch. That fat bitch.
''I think I'm just going to go home. I have a lot do to.''
I hate that Joshua knows me so well. He instantly holds out a hand to stop me. ''Bells, please don't le-''
I cut him off. ''J, it's fine. I'm still sending out resumes for the internship applications. It has to be done soon and I'm busy the next couple of weeks. I also have to be at Nobu around eight.'' I actually do need to get ready for Jenn's birthday dinner. If I go now, I'll make it in time.
''You're looking for an internship? Law firm?'' Kayden queries. I nod. ''I could help you if you want, my dad knows people and we even have a law department at Dom-''
I cut him off, as well. ''No, thank you. That's okay. I appreciate the offer, though.'' I want to do this myself. If I would have wanted to get this the easy way, I would've gone to my grandparents and gotten in contact with the biggest firms in the state. I'm going to do this on my own.
I've already cleaned behind me so there's no use to me hanging around here any longer. I go over to give Joshua a hug farewell. He squeezes me tighter against him as some sort of apology. If my tits were silicone, one of them would've popped by now. ''I didn't forget, I owe you big time for today.'' He winks once he'd loosened his grip on me. ''You'll stop by the gym tomorrow?''
''Yeah, my brother's taking the car for a checkup on the old tires tomorrow morning after he drops me off at work. I'll catch a ride with one of the girls after.'' He nods and puts his hands back in his pockets.
Suddenly, Kayden comes up behind me. ''I'll walk you out.'' He strolls right past me, making a gesture for me to follow him, leaving no room for discussion.
I follow behind him silently and once we're by the door, I grab the handle and turn to him. ''Guess I'll see y-''
Now I'm the one being cut off. ''You know it's bullshit, right?''
''What?''
He takes a step forward, dangerously close into my comfort zone. ''What that girl said today. What they've all said.'' He clarifies. ''You know it's all bullshit? Right?''
''I do.'' I nod as convincingly as possible.
He shakes his head. ''I don't think you do.'' He inches even closer, hand reaching out, I think to put a strand of hair behind my ear. But I recoil away from his touch before he can. Nonetheless, he continued, muttering a sincere, ''Isabella, you're beautiful.''
I can't do this right now.
''Uh, thank y-you,'' I move the handle and open the door, giving him one last look before walking out. He mumbles the smoothest goodbye and I nearly run up to hug him when I see the softest, most understanding look on his face. I give the tiniest wave, not trusting my voice enough for goodbyes. Also mainly because I don't want to say goodbye to him. This feels like the start. The start of something I'm not sure I'm ready for. But I know this won't be the last time I'll see this guy.
Fuck. I'm screwed, aren't I?
.......................................................................
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