Chapter 41
A/N: Probably one of my longest chapters so far, and it was actually easier to write. Lot's of things to be discussed, lol. Let me know what you think, don't forget to comment, vote, follow, etc. Again, I'm shit at writing physical fight scenes, so I apologize in advance, but it was crucial to the plot later so I must. The next chapter will also be long and highly anticipated, as *spoiler* Simon visits his family home (for real this time). So I'll quickly try to work on it this week.
Simon's POV
Michael insisted on teaching me self-defense, which in hindsight seemed ridiculous. In a way, I was thankful for him looking out for me, but at the same time, I didn't deem it necessary. In wolf form, I was confident enough to defend myself, or at least hightail out of a situation if needed. But he wanted me to feel confident in my human form to handle someone like George. Not that I couldn't, or felt like I would need to, but just in case, he had said.
A part of me wondered if he was worried I'd need to defend myself against Vince, and I hate that I thought that might've been a possibility.
Michael had spent nearly two hours helping me learn basic blocking and types of punches and throws I should at least know. He demonstrated different ways to sweep someone's leg out from under them, and how to pin them down, along with other spots that can be easy targets to aim for.
At some point in our session, I was practicing how to aim for the ribs when Michael had placed his foot behind mine, and the next thing I remember is laying on my back, the sudden twist and thud jarring me. Rookie mistake, losing my balance while he used the same throwing technique he had literally just taught me. Xavier hadn't been kidding about his siblings learning all sorts of skills to be an alpha, it appeared Michael had a grasp about all forms of martial arts to some degree, even the more meditative ones.
"You alright?" He was kneeling beside me, but I hid my eyes with my forearm, completely embarrassed by how easily he took me down. I peeked to see him look genuinely concerned and I couldn't help but laugh at the silly brow lines that had formed. "Should I have put extra padding out?"
"I can't even throw a punch," I huffed, before grabbing his hand as he pulled me up into a sitting position.
He sighed in relief before replying, "there wasn't anything wrong with the punch, you just gotta center yourself more. The easiest way is to bend the knees, remain lower."
"Easy for you to say," I mocked. "You're built like a brick. I'm pretty sure if I did punch you, my hand would hurt more."
He smiled before stepping closer, pinching my cheek like a child. "Or, you could put some meat on those bones and fatten you up. You're light as a feather."
I scoffed, trying not to take offense to it. When I was younger a lot of people called me a twig, but it was a characteristic I got from my dad, who as a delta needed to be agile and swift in chasing out prey. So I teased Michael back, "I bet I could beat you in a race though."
"Oh," he grinned, before whispering, "are you challenging your alpha?"
I bit my lip before poking at his chest. "Is it a challenge, if I know I'll win?"
"Oh, it's on."
"To the lake?" I suggested. "I know the path like the back of my hand."
He poked my forehead back. "So do I, dear."
We made fun of each other on our way to the border before shifting into our wolves. It had been a while, and it felt nice to let my wolf out and exercise. His wolf was much larger, but with how dense parts of the forest got, I was sure I'd be able to make my way there faster, maybe even take some shortcuts along the way.
Before long, we sprinted off, the wind and smells of the trees rushing past us. I kept at his pace for a while, expertly dodging the trees and fallen branches. After reaching the more treacherous areas where the land wasn't even, I picked up speed, taking a more hilly area with less foliage that I had trekked many times before on my way to the cave.
It wasn't long before I could see the expansive lake through the pine trees, the crisp air refreshing as it blew through my fur. The sight of the lake nestled in the valley was always a breathtaking sight, the sheer feeling of peacefulness just felt like a breath of fresh air. As I approached the water, dipping my front paws in, I soaked up in the smells and sounds of the place, missing the little oasis here.
I walked around, obviously had gotten here first, watching the tree line for signs of Michael. Surely he couldn't have been that far behind. I waited, pacing around when suddenly a mass had emerged from the bushes, and before I could react, I was tackled to the ground again. Assuming it was him, I turned to look at him when a set of teeth came clamping down on the scruff of my neck. It didn't break skin, but it wasn't a play kind-of bite: it was one that meant they'd kill if I moved.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could tell the wolf's fur was lighter than Michael's and was on the smaller side. I gulped, wondering where the hell Michael was now and then wondering why I thought this was a brilliant idea. Trekking a rogue infested forest on our own basically? Even if most posed no problems, there were always vengeful and malicious wolves out for blood. The wolf growled lowly, not saying anything as it kept a firm grip on the back of my neck.
I could've waited for Michael, assume that he'd be nearby, and help me out. But if Michael was really that far behind, was it wise to have this rogue's teeth that close to my throat. So I feigned submission, momentarily baring my neck as far as the wolf's hold would allow, letting out a soft whine. I wasn't sure what to expect, as rogues this aggressive were always unpredictable but he loosened his grip just a tad and I saw my chance.
I kicked the leg that had pinned my shoulder out from under him, quickly shifting my head to reach for his neck as well. I kept a firm grip, not intending to inflict harm, hoping he'd realize I didn't want to fight, but he snarled and preened his head to try and grip my neck again. I growled back but he was much stronger, as he took a sharp nip of my shoulder. I loosened my grip and he was back grabbing a hold of my neck, thrashing about now. I probably looked like a ragdoll as he thrashed his head side to side before tossing me to the ground. The wounds were healing already, but he was stalking forward, obviously not through with me yet.
Without Michael to back me up, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to incapacitate him enough for me to escape. And if I did run, there was no guarantee I wouldn't lose him. So I waited for him to make the first move, hoping whatever adrenaline I had would be enough. The wolf bared his teeth at me, before charging forward. I remained low, biding my time as he got closer until I reached underneath, gripping his throat as tightly as possible. I tried not to think about the puncture wounds I was inflicting, hating the fact that I'd be causing harm, but with how intentful he was about attacking, I held on for dear life. His teeth would graze my skin every now and then as he thrashed about, but luckily he couldn't reach my throat from this angle. As he tried to buck me off, I could tell he was moving towards the tree line, and I knew that was troublesome, but I held on, digging my paws wherever it could reach to get him to stop.
And then with a sudden jerk, I had been flung into the tree trunk, successfully dislodging me from his throat with a groan. His neck was bleeding but he still looked dead set on killing me as he walked over, almost unaware of the severity of his wounds. The pain in my side made it difficult, but I managed to stand back up, bracing myself against the rough bark. I growled, hoping he'd change his mind when he charged again. I didn't have it in me to dodge or even think of attacking back, but I didn't have to.
A guttural snarl seemed to echo as Michael rushed him from the treeline in a blur, tackling the wolf to the ground. His towering wolf easily pinning the injured wolf, his eyes a piercing gold as he bared his teeth. I had thought that it was all over, that Michael would release him and the wolf would go on his merry way, until the wolf snarled back, challenging Michael, despite being half the size. Of course, Michael's wolf did not like that, and faster than I could blink, Michael had gripped the wolf's neck in his maw, clamping down with so much force that some of his blood had gotten on Michael's fur. I wanted to tell him to stop, but everything had happened so fast and before long, the small wolf had thrashed, seizing before it had gone still.
Michael was still growling, as I stared in shock. Michael had...killed him. Just like that. I wasn't sure to feel grateful that it ended quickly, or whether to be completely terrified. But as Michael stepped away nonchalant, I was starting to feel the latter. I mean I was glad it hadn't been me, but it was a rogue. He had insisted on helping them. He blinked before approaching me, mind linking, are you alright? I'm sorry I hadn't been here sooner, love. I took a wrong turn.
And just like that, he was back to normal, the kind, worried Michael I was used to. Aside from the blood still on his muzzle, it seemed like nothing had happened.
You k-killed him?
He was going to kill you, he whined before repeating, are you alright?
I'm alright, I responded, the wounds already healing themselves quickly. Just shaken up.
That's understandable. I'm sorry you had to witness that, he replied. That rogue, he was too far gone.
I hummed, before looking towards the lake, trying to avoid looking at the fallen wolf. Michael stepped forward, brushing his head against my shoulder before adding, your speed is impeccable, dear. You won fair and square. Let's head back.
Our walk back had been silent, just the sound of our footsteps and the foliage swaying filled the air. Even the birds and small creatures were fairly quiet. I tried not to think about that rogue, or how Michael reacted, but it was hard to unsee. But if Michael hadn't stepped in, he was right. There was a good chance that the rogue wouldn't have stopped until I was dead.
We were about a quarter of the way back when Michael startled me by saying, I wish I had been there.
I paused in my tracks, tilting my head before asking, what do you mean?
He stopped walking before saying, I would've never let those things happen to you. To your family.
You didn't owe me anything back then, nobody had known anyways. And besides, you were dealing with David. That must've been devastating.
He turned to look at me, a sad look in his eyes as he responded, I couldn't save him either. I let him down the day they tore him apart.
I feel the same way, I said softly. With my family.
Michael walked closer, resting his head on top of mine before responding, we're the same. Two hurting people, wishing things had been different. But we've got each other.
I hummed, letting us relax in each other's company for a bit longer.
Just as we reached the neutral territory that divided the forest and the pack line, Michael turned to grin at me. It's a shame we weren't meant to be.
---
Vince had been acting weird the past week, often holed up in the council room working on his computer or filing paperwork. Michael would often give him things to work on but it seemed like Vince's workload had grown exponentially. And a couple of nights, I had stayed up to wait for him, but I'd end up falling asleep and waking up alone. On the rare occasion he had left the council room, he'd avoid me like the plague, insisting he had things to do.
Had it been weeks earlier, I would've thought nothing of it, but even my wolf was feeling restless as if sensing Vince's discomfort. I couldn't think of any reason why Vince would feel the need to avoid me. Most of the time I spent my time with Xavier, Aspen, or Michael, assuming Vince needed time and space for his work. And yet, it felt like his distance had something to do with me.
I tried to ignore it, for days I pretended to watch movies late at night, hoping things would get better. Hoping it would feel a fraction of normalcy like that time we spent cooking at Xavier's.
It didn't help that Sam's messages on my phone were tempting to respond. He had been updating me on Belle, the pregnant wolf we helped, posting pics of her pups, and him sleeping next to a couple of them on the floor still in his silly scrubs. I was sure Clara had taken the picture of him, and I nearly laughed at how ridiculous they looked as one of the pups looked like it was trying to suckle milk out of his nose. That picture had been the last message he sent, and for a moment, I was tempted to text him back.
In fact, I had hovered my finger over the send icon, a previous message I had meant to send still there. I miss you too, it had read. I had typed it a week ago after I had cried into Vince's chest when I had been in the bathroom. I was having those dark thoughts again, the memories replaying in my head, and it had only gotten worse when I saw Vince's suppressants on the counter. For a split second, I had been tempted to take them, to make it all stop, when Sam had texted me randomly a picture of him and his staff at Cindy's. He had been typing for what seemed a while, those three dots appearing and disappearing for a while before a simply three words appeared.
We miss you.
And like that, those thoughts had gone away, and I was reminded of my time there. Clara's homemade lunches were always a hit or miss. Ava's stern but motherly advice. And of course, Sam. How could I forget? Even after running into his truck and nearly dying, staying at the clinic had been the most fun I had in years. I had typed my message so instinctually, with so much truth, but I couldn't find it in me to send it. After the way I left, it just didn't sit right with me. What would that message even accomplish, aside from more hurting in the end?
But now, when the person I'm trying to make things right with by leaving Sam wanted to ignore me, sending Sam that message just seemed like the right thing to do. So just as I pressed the send button, Vince came through the doors, almost startled that I was still up. He had frozen in place, blinking for a bit before moving towards his bedside table, rummaging through it. In the lamp's light, I could tell he hadn't been sleeping. His eye bags were more pronounced, his hair a disheveled mess. And maybe it was the light, but he looked pale. Now that I thought about it, I don't think I've ever seen him grab food.
He grabbed a long black cord before replying curtly, "forgot my charger."
"Wait," I said before he could turn to leave, I moved onto his side of the bed, reaching for his wrist. "Did you eat?"
"Huh?" He pulled his wrist away.
I set my phone down, before trying to reach for his arm again, which he stepped backward. "Have you eaten anything today?"
He blinked. "Um, ya. I think so."
"Vince."
"What?" He frowned. "Look, I'm in a rush, alright? My laptop's dying, and I have a lot of work to do."
I pursed my lips. "It wouldn't hurt to take a break and eat."
He shook his head before stepping back again. "I'm busy with work. I don't have time to eat."
"What is with you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You're acting so weird," I exasperated. "Since when have you had this many things to do? Can't the other betas do it, I don't see them staying up all night."
His jaw clenched, before he finally sighed, setting the charger on the edge of the bed. "Michael gave me more work."
I tilted my head slightly. "Is that really all that is?"
"Yes," he replied but it sounded more like a question. I gave him an inquisitive look before he ran a hand through his mop of hair, before sighing. "No. But it doesn't matter."
"It does matter." I frowned. "You look like you haven't slept or eaten this entire week."
He gave me a droll look before replying, "I have. It's just... I've been feeling off."
"Off?"
He fiddled with his hand, clenching and unclenching them.
"Did Aspen say anything to you? If he said something awful, please, he didn't mean anything by it," I said. "That's just how he gets with me and Cedar."
"No," he shook his head. "He didn't."
"Then what, Vince?" I practically sat at the very edge of the bed, reaching out to grab onto his wrist again. "What's happening?"
He looked at me for a second before his eyes trailed down to my hand, his eyes seemingly softened. He blinked a few times, and I was slowly realizing that his arm didn't burn to the touch. It still felt warm, but not nearly as hot as it had a couple of weeks ago, or a week ago when I had sobbed my eyes out to him on the couch.
He exhaled, before saying, "I lowered the dose."
"You what?" I looked at him incredulously. "Didn't you just lower it?"
He hummed, and I couldn't fathom how he would think that was a good idea. "Vince, why would you lower it? What milligrams are you at now?"
"Two-hundred."
I blinked, anger coursing through my veins. "Two-hundred? You were just at six-hundred! No wonder you're feeling off."
"Isn't it better that I'm off of these anyways?" He sounded upset. "Isn't this what you-"
"Gradual!" I interrupted. "Gradual, Vince. Chase told you there'd be side effects. That's why you needed to slowly lower the dose."
"But-"
I squeezed his wrist in my hand. "No, don't tell me you don't have time. That's ridiculous. Why are you even rushing the process?"
"It's just Mi-" he faltered before chuffing. "But that's not the point. Now, I can feel the-"
And at that exact same moment, my phone pinged. We both stared at it, as it rested on the comforters. Sam had responded. Vince quickly looked back at me, trying to hide his obvious interest in the message. I reached over and flipped the phone over.
"Was that Michael?"
So he hadn't seen who it was, but, "Michael?"
He frowned. "It was Michael, wasn't it?"
He quickly flipped rolled his hand over to grip my wrist tightly when I didn't answer. "Stay away from him."
"What?"
"Stay away from Michael," he repeated. There was a ferocious look in his eyes, almost as if his wolf threatened to jump out. One minute he's talking about his dose and now he's getting heated over a text?
I shook my wrist out of his grip, before scoffing. "What are you talking about?"
"I don't trust him," he said sternly. "Just...stay away from him."
He seemed so serious, but it didn't make any sense. "He's been nothing but nice to me. Why shouldn't I trust him?"
"I," Vince sucked in a breath. "I don't think he's here to help us. It's just suspicious, don't you think?"
I shook my head. "He's your brother, Vince. He cares about you. If he really wanted to hurt either of us, he would've done it already."
"But that's the thing, Simon," he seemed to plead. "He's never cared about me before, why would he have started now? Especially after what I've done? I mean he threatened to kill you!"
"He had plenty of opportunities to do so, but he didn't. And you're wrong. He does care about you. You're brothers."
I could sense the anger roll off him, but for once, I didn't seem to be threatened by it, more enraged that we were arguing about something like this. His jaw clenched, a few muscles twitching from the pressure.
"You're wrong," he told me. "He's said some things earlier, and I think he really wants to destroy the pack. You have to understand that-"
I was standing now, infuriated that he would accuse his own brother. "Why does it seem like me, and Michael are the only two people trying to make us work? Why does everything have to be about someone else? Why must you accuse everyone else but you of things?"
"Simon, you have to believe me!" He implored, looking hurt at my words. "My brother is not a good person."
"You should be grateful you have your brothers. Alive." I spat, looking him in the eyes with as much ferocity I could muster, despite the angry tears threatening to spill out. "Some of us don't have that luxury."
He stepped back, taken aback by my words. "Why-why can't you just believe me?" He said softly.
"Why should I?" I said quieter, still staring directly at him. "When all you ever did was lie?"
"Of course you don't believe me," he breathed out so quietly I almost didn't hear him. He let out a shaky breath before quickly grabbing his charger and stumbled out, letting the door slam behind him.
And within its echoes that seemed to reverberate for the remainder of the night, I let the tears fall again, my heart hurting, so much that I refused to even check Sam's reply. Instead, I curled up in bed, letting the deafening silence swallow me whole as I ended up falling asleep on Vince's side of the bed.