Upon arriving home, I received a call from the funeral home, they wished to know if I was ready to meet with them. I said I must call them back as I wasn't sure what was going on with Cat and her appointment yet.
Thankfully the hospital got back to Cat within the hour and offered her an appointment next week. I think we all sighed with relief as it seriously eased up on the pressure of the entire situation.
"Looks like were all good," Cat said smiling. "We are all set up for next week and Dr. Devereaux said the delay should be fine."
I was relieved that she had already checked with her OBGYN. If she hadn't I would have suggested it, just to make certain.
"Have you... told Liam?" I chose not to take this fight. It made sense why she'd want him there, I just didn't like it. This however, isn't about me and I'm glad I didn't get a chance to react earlier because it gave me the opportunity to sort out how I really felt.
"Not yet," Cat informed me and she didn't look happy about the prospect of doing so.
"Is there a problem?" I asked, trying to keep my cool, which is hard to do when things involved Liam. I don't like that he's still part of Cat's life. That he still has the ability to make her miserable and I can do nothing to stop it.
"No, it's just knowing him as I do, I'm not looking forward to dealing with the phone call."
"Why not text him? Keep it short. You've already told him you were possibly rescheduling. This is just a follow up," Tina suggested, which took us both by surprise as neither of were paying attention to the fact that she was still in the room. I guess with how familiar Tina seemed with the house I sort of expected her to just settle in.
Cat now looked like she was giving the suggestion some serious consideration. "You know what? That's not a half bad idea. Not that it won't stop him from calling me, but then I can deal with him when I'm a little less irritated."
"Happy to help," Tina said beaming. "So, the doctor suggested I stick to one floor since stairs could be an issue if I get dizzy. Where did you want to put me?" Tina asked.
It was a good question and I really wasn't sure. "Let's see," I said offering her my arm. "I'm not sure what my mother and father have done with Aidan's room since he left, we do also have a guest bedroom but Aidan's room would be better as it's across the hall from ours should you need immediate assistance in any way."
"Sounds good," Tina said.
"Are you both hungry? I can whip us up some lunch if you like?"
"Yes, please," I said, since Cat's returned so had my appetite.
"Anything off menu?" Cat asked of Tina.
"Nope. I'm good with whatever you make, thank you," Tina replied.
"Okay then. I'll bring it up to you when it's ready," Cat said before walking towards the kitchen.
"Thank you!" I hollered after her. Then I turned to Tina. "Ready to get settled in?"
"Yep," Tina said, she barely touched my arm as we went up the stairs. I'm guessing she wanted to test her own limits but I made certain to keep a watchful eye on her.
I lead her to Aidan's bedroom, which had been right across from mine. We had shared one room until we got older and my mother decided we needed our own space.
I missed sharing a room with him. It was one of the benefits of my parents' decision to disown him. We got to live together again. I opened the door expecting the room to be made over like my own, and all of Aidan's things removed, but I stood stunned as it was left exactly as I remembered it.
"Hey, you okay?" Tina asked, looking up at me.
It felt like walking into a dream. I let Tina go and ran my hand along the bureau that had pictures of him and I or him and William tucked into the sides of the mirror behind it. I pulled one out of the three of us and stood staring at it for a moment or two.
I placed it down and went to his closet. There were his assortment of clothes, mostly designer, he was well into fashion since he was a teenager. He half thought of becoming a model, but my father squashed that idea as soon as he spoke up about it.
I knelt on the floor and rummaged in the bottom. Wondering if it would be there. Everything else was here.
"Alex? Is everything..."
I held up my finger for Tina to hold that thought as I found what I was looking for. I pulled out the box and swiped some dust off of the top.
"What's in the box?" Tina asked.
I sat upon the bed and opened it. Tina came further into the room and sat beside me.
"It was our memory box, Aidan and mine. Whenever something good happened to us, we'd take a memento of the moment and we'd keep it in here. I thought it disappeared when my parents had turned my room into a guest bedroom, but I had forgotten that Aidan had the box last."
I pulled out a gay pride pin. "This was the pin, William had given Aidan when he finally admitted to him that he was gay." I ran my thumb over the pin. "It was also the day that he told me he was in love with my best friend," I half laughed and half sobbed from the memory.
It was all there, in the box, every shared moment my brother and I had, our triumphs, our awards but also just our special moments together.
A small rock had caught my notice. "No, it can't be?" I said, pulling it out, it was exactly what I thought it was, it still had a little blood on it from where it cut Aidan's forehead. I didn't know he kept it. That was the day I stood up to Aidan's bullies.
We were coming home. It was eighth grade. Some no account named Colin kept at him, everyday at school. I hated that kid. One day he was lying in wait for Aidan, him and a few of his buddies.
We heard a loud bang in an alley and someone yell, "Hey, Homo!" Aidan turned to look and got hit in the forehead with a rock. It gashed him and blood ran down his face. I lost it. I went charging into that alley, tackled and beat the crap out of Colin until his two friends pulled me off of him and pinned me to the wall.
Colin stood up. His nose bloodied, his eye already starting to swell, and suckered me right in my stomach. I groaned in pain and that's when I'd seen Aidan, blood dripping down his face, pull on Colin's arm when he pulled it back to hit me again, and then Aidan hit him square in the face.
Colin's eyes rolled into his head. His cronies were too scared when they'd seen Colin drop to his knees and face plant into the ground. They let me go and took off, not even bothering to help or check to see if Colin was okay.
I rolled Colin over. He was just knocked out, so we left him there. I took off and handed Aidan my hoodie to clean up his face. The cut was minor. He was just hit in the right spot that it bled a lot.
He then apologized to me that I got involved.
"They are only picking on you because you're gay," I announced, anger making the words sound harsh.
Aidan winced. "You know?"
"Of course I know. You're my brother," I told him.
"And you still came to my aid?" Aidan said surprised by the idea.
"You didn't expect me to stand by and watch it happen did you?" I asked equally stunned.
Aidan shrugged. "I always thought if you did find out, that you'd..."
"That I'd what?" I pressed.
"That you wouldn't love me anymore," Aidan announced.
I pulled him into a hug. "That's just because you're an idiot. Unfortunately being gay doesn't change that."
Aidan shoved me away from him. "Yeah and you're a jerk and being straight ain't going to help you with that either."
We both laughed and went home. Now that I think of it, I do remember him stopping to pick up something but I didn't realize it was the rock and he didn't keep it because he finally got justice from Colin, he kept it because of me because he was afraid I wouldn't love him and he knew then I always would.
"Why couldn't I be there? Why couldn't I protect him, like I did that day?" I mumbled as I cried, grasping the rock tight in my closed hand. Two arms held me, wrapped around my side as I recalled the memory and the memory of the day I wasn't there to save my brother.
"Lunch is ready," Cat announced and Tina promptly let me go and stood up from the bed.
"What's going on here?!" Cat asked placing the tray down on the bureau.
"It's not what it looks like," Tina proclaimed as she stood aside for Cat to reach me.
"Alex?"
I looked up at her with a tear-stained face and whatever thoughts she may have been thinking about Tina and me, vanished.
"Oh, Alex."
I grabbed her around the middle and pulled her in between my legs so I can hug her, hold her. My face rested against her pregnant belly as her fingers ran through my hair. "It's going to be alright," Cat soothed.
Just then I felt something. I felt something move against my cheek. I pulled back startled. Cat looked at me with wide eyes. "Did you feel that?"
"Was that?"
Cat just nodded with tear-filled eyes. "I can't believe you felt it too."
I kissed Cat's stomach. "I love you, too, Peanut." I was now crying for a completely different reason but Cat and I were laughing too.
Tina brought us over our lunches Cat had prepared on a plate. We ended up have an impromptu picnic on Aidan's bed. As we sat there together, I told them both about each object in the memory box as we ate. There were a lot of laughs, and a few more tears but by the time lunch was over I felt lighter. Like part of the boulder that had been suppressing me had been chipped away making it easier for me to breathe.
I called back the funeral home and set up an appointment now that I knew that Cat was good. Tina, I set up in the guest bedroom. It was a little further from our room but she didn't feel right staying in Aidan's room.
Again I had to wonder why it was that my parents kept Aidan's room the same but totally changed mine. Not that I expected them to keep all my stuff, I just thought they would have wanted to erase the memory of Aidan ever being there, being a part of our family.
Cat stayed with Tina as I drove to the funeral home. The funeral home was run by the Wolfe Family. Tracy Wolfe was the mother, and who was currently helping me make the arrangements.
"My mother is in the hospital at the moment," I began to explain. "I don't wish her to miss the funeral. How long can I postpone?"
Tracy had a look of concern. "I'll be honest with you Alex. The coroner had the body a few days now, we've already begun the embalming process to preserve it, but we can't go longer than a week, especially if you are planning an open casket for the viewing."
"So you're saying this weekend would be best?"
Tracy nodded. "Will your mother be attending?"
"I'm not certain," I informed her. "I'll need to check with her doctor."
"What would you like to put in the paper? For the obituary?"
I hadn't a clue. "What do people normally write?"
Tracy smiled at me sympathetically and said, "I'll give you some examples and then you can write out what you would like it to say from there. Once you have it you can just fax it to me and I'll be sure it gets in all the local papers and online, along with the details about the viewing and funeral."
"Do you have an outfit you would wish your father laid out in for the viewing?"
I didn't but I knew I could find something in his closet. "I'll bring something to you."
Tracy jotted down a note and then asked, "Would you like the clothes back, or would you prefer he be cremated in them?"
"What would he be wearing otherwise?"
"The clothes he came here with," Tracy supplied.
"Oh, I'm sure the suit I give you will be fine."
"Will he be wearing any jewelry? We have his wedding band, his watch and a..." Tracy checked her notes, "signet ring?"
"Yes, I would like him to be wearing both rings but you can forget the watch."
"Okay, now after the viewing, my son Travis will take the rings off the body and give them to you to hold, your father will not be cremated wearing those. The watch I'll give back today."
Tracy had me fill out several forms, mostly about what we discussed, payment, how many copies of the death certificate I would think I would need, and about the cremation. She helped me pick out a casket for the viewing and an urn for the burial.
"Tracy, thank you for all your help. Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure?"
"What should I do next to make sure everything is ready?"
"Have you made your arrangements with the church?"
I shook my head no. "I would go there next, set up a time, and have them call us so we can add those times to the announcement in the paper and online."
"Okay. Thank you!"
When I was done I called to check up on the girls to learn they were doing just fine and so I stayed out a little longer to handle the church services. Once I had picked out the readings and songs for the service I was pretty much done. I learned there would be no charges for the funeral as far as the church was concerned but a donation was usually customary. Something I must remember. Now all I needed to do was talk to Dr. Dominico about getting my mother released.
"I'm not certain that's the best idea," he said and my heart plummeted.
"Dr. Dominico, it was her one request that I not bury my father without her having a chance to say goodbye."
"I understand but that much emotional strain on her at the time, Alex... we have no idea how she would react. The last thing you would want is your mother having a fit in the middle of the viewing or at the church."
I had to find a way to make this work, but how? Then a thought struck me.
"Would you agree if the viewing was private? Strictly family and perhaps an aide of some sort on hand so if it is too much on her, they can immediately bring her back to you. I'm sure I can make the arrangements with the funeral director to allow us a few minutes before it opens up to the public."
There was silence for a moment or two. "This I will allow."
"Thank you!!!! Thank you so much!!!" I told him. I was feeling pretty accomplished as I headed home.
I briefly stopped at the bank to inform them of what happened to my father, to give them a copy of his will, promising the death certificate once I had more copies. They gave me access to his safe deposit box so I could empty it. I handed the teller the key.
She used a small stepladder to reach it in the bank's vault, and then handed me back my key and showed me an empty room I could go into to sort out the box.
I sat down and opened the latch. Inside I found the usual important papers, the deed to the house, car titles, birth certificates including mine and Aidan's, passports for him and my mother, some jewelry that I guess either held some importance or was too valuable to keep safe at home. I placed them all in a tote the bank manager gave me when I realized I hadn't anything to bring the items home in.
Checking the box one last time I found an envelope. I sat there staring at it for a minute or two for it was sealed and had my name on it. Written in my father's handwriting.
My heart beat an erratic rhythm. Why would he put a letter in his box and address it to me?