Still a little drowsy I thankfully take my coffee from Emily. I know there are many people out there, that jump out of bed early in the morning happy and wide awake. Well I definitely don't belong to one of those people. I'm more like WTF it's way too early, let me sleep.
As I never sleep good at night, it just kind of makes it worse in the morning. Without my coffee I'd probably die or be grumpy the rest of the day. Emily wants to know everything about my first day at work and I tell her everything, of course also mentioning Jake, while munching down my frosties.
"He left with two?"
"Yep, such an idiot. And I really don't understand those girls."
"Maybe they know of his qualities, I mean after what you told me."
"Oh fuck, shut up. I wish that night never happened."
Well at least not with Jake, the night was great.
******
Entering the class, fucking Jake is already seated at his place looking quite dishevelled. I decide to have some fun and let my bag drop loud on the floor, while slamming my stuff down on the table.
"What the fuck?", he growls.
"Oh, sorry didn't you get enough beauty sleep? Did the two blondes keep you up all night? I bet you are tired, too bad you are stuck with me today to keep you wiiiiide awake."
"Wow, so now you are talking to me?"
"No not really, just making sure to be such a pain in your ass, as you are in mine."
"Fuck Sam, you know how much I had to drink last night. My head is killing me, so could you please not fuck me up?"
"Don't worry you are not exactly my priority subject for today. Bad enough I have to spend time with you later on."
Of course, I know how much he had to drink, one of the reasons I was so loud to start off with. Knowing his head is killing him, makes me feel a bit better.
With this Jake lifts his hoodie, shielding him off again. We spend the rest of our classes in total silence next to each other. I think at some point he might have even fallen asleep during class, as I hear a slight snoring coming from his direction.
It's so damn tempting to slam something down, just for the fact to wake him and cause him more headache then again, I decide against it just in case he decides to pester me again.
Jake grabs hold of my wrist as I get up after the last class.
"We are set up for homework", he says with a stern look on his face.
"Yep sadly haven't forgotten. Meet up in a cafe?"
"No, it's too fucking loud. We should go to one of our places."
"No way, bad enough I need to put up with you. But the hell am I going anywhere alone with you."
He sighs and looks down. "Sam I can't work this out in a fucking cafe. The library?"
Huffing I let out a "Fine."
We walk in total silence together to the library. It's nearly empty, great so much for being alone with him. At least there are a few people here. We take a seat away from the others so we will be able to talk if necessary, which I hope to keep down to a bare minimum. Guess with that at least I'm lucky at a library.
This is exactly what you imagine old libraries to look like. Dark wooden benches and tables, dim lights old cream coloured tiled floors and dark heavy book shelves all around.
"Ok", both of us start speaking at the same time.
"You go ahead", Jake insists.
"I think we should focus on the differences of the harder ones first. I mean the difference to write a novel or a poetry is pretty obvious. While I think radio and TV drama, screenwriting and stage drama are harder to pick apart."
"Totally agree with you."
"Honestly? You are not making a fuss about this or mocking me?"
"Why the hell should I, I thought about it in the same way. How about each of us take one of the topics first, check up all the characteristics and then we work out together where the differences lay?"
"First decent sentence I've heard from you for ages."
He sighs again and I see his shoulders slack down. "Ok, I'll take screenwriting if it's ok you want to do stage drama?"
"Fine."
We work a whole while in total silence next to each other. Even if it's hard for me, as I feel his presence across from me all too well. In between I feel his eyes set on me, but I resist to look up. Resist to look in those green eyes which capture me automatically without me being able to fight it.
"I've not had a relationship either anymore since us", he whispers out of the blue.
What the hell? Why is he saying this now?
"I couldn't, you were always there, always on my mind Sam. I thought you should know."
"Jake stop talking and get down to your work."
A moment of silence lingers in the air, then I look up at him. Fuck I didn't want to do that. His eyes are still set on me and now his eyes lock with mine.
"I'm so sorry Sam, not one single day has passed where I haven't thought about this shit."
"Sorry but I don't believe a single fucking word you say. Your two blonds last night were proof enough."
"It's all a fucking facade to escape the wrong I did."
"Too bad, because it's too late to apologize now. And now get down to that fucking work", I hiss.
"How am I supposed to concentrate on this shit, if you are right in front of me?", he replies with a pained voice.
"Fine, then maybe we should work the topics out by ourselves and just join up for a last finish."
"No, we are doing this together. If you like it or not", he says it with finality.
"Fine then concentrate", I grit out between clenched teeth.
I see hurt and anger on his face, but eventually he lowers his gaze and starts working again. It's damn shit a lot of work to go in detail through all of this, defining what characteristics are behind of it and to really understand what they mean. After another three hours both Jake and I are done with our topics for today.
"I'll get us a coffee or something, before we work this out together. Any special wishes?", Jake offers obviously exhausted.
"A caramel Latte please."
After a few minutes he returns with our drinks, seating himself beside me. As he reaches out to hand me my drink, our hands make contact. Both of us tense up immediately, it's like in a movie or those typical books. Just the slightest touch of him, has my heart beating like crazy. His eyes lock with mine and it takes us a few seconds to draw back.
Shit why the hell am I reacting like this to him? Afterall I hate him. I set my drink down while I hear Jake clear his throat.
He pulls his stuff over from the other side of the table.
"Are you honestly staying seated next to me?" I raise an eyebrow at him.
"You hate me that much, that I can't even sit next to you for our homework?"
Yes, I do and I don't at the same time. Fuck what the hell is going on in my mind?
When I don't answer, his voice breaks a little while he says: "Look, I just thought it would be easier to compare if we are sat next to each other. But if it's that bad for you I'll move."
"It's ok, let's just get ahead of it."
He looks relieved with my answer. We end up talking roughly an hour about what we found out, take notes underline things together. All together it was fine. Besides the fact that I constantly felt his presence so near.
And guess what? He is wearing fucking Hugo Boss bottled. I bought him that for Christmas when we were together, it was more for my own sake than his. And now he is fucking wearing it.
Once we are nearly finished he leans over to underline one more thing in my text I worked out. Him being so close, his bare arm brushing my skin is so intense. I gasp.
He retreats. "I- I am sorry. I didn't think."
"Not the first time. We are done for today, right? Tomorrow same time?"
"Uhmm yeah sure."
With this I grab my stuff and leave as fast as possible.
As the pub is closed every Tuesday, I have the night off. I decide to prepare myself some more for classes, before dropping into bed with my e-reader. But somehow, I can't settle down to concentrate on my book. There's too much on my mind right now.
Well to be precise fucking Jake is on my mind. My body is a fucking traitor to react like that to him. And his words linger on my mind, he's not been in a relationship either. Why the hell should I care? But deep down inside these words are stirring in me. Maybe I should listen to what he has to say, just to finally set an end to it. Then again, I don't want to hear a single fucking word he says.
Gosh this guy is killing me and fucking up all my thoughts. It sucks.
I throw my e-reader on the bed and text Evans.
Time for skating?
That's what I need right now. Even if he doesn't come along I am going, so I decide to get changed while waiting for a reply.
Already there, you want me to pick you up?
Nope, meet you there ;)
Due to using my board on the way already, I am there with in a couple of minutes. Today there are some other girls hanging around here too, none of them skating though, they are simply here to gawk. Shit I should have asked Emi to come.
Evans comes straight towards me and pulls me into his arms.
"Hey Statement girl, how was homework?"
"Let's say I am glad when it's over and done with", I let out a huff but then send him a grin.
"I should warn you, he's here too. And he seems to be in quite a mood."
"Ok, seems like there is no way to miss out on him", I roll my eyes.
"We could leave and go some where else."
"And me missing the chance to kick your ass? No way! I am so set up for this now."
"The guys will be pleased", he laughs. "You are wearing white for a change. Can't touch this, is the statement today? Too bad" he wriggles with his eyebrows making me laugh.
I tap the tip of his cap, then pointing at my tits. "No way you are touching these?"
"Is that a fix, like not ever? Or just today?", he calls out behind me, while I skate away from him.
"Who knows Evans?", I reply with a smirk mocking him.
"Fuck, now I'll be trying to figure this out all night", he yells behind me.
"Not my problem. But if I were you I wouldn't think about it too much, you might be ending up with blue balls", I laugh until I bump into Jake.
Fuck of course, out of all the people here I have to bump into him, the one single time I am not looking where I am heading on my board.
"You better not talk about balls while being on a skateboard. It seems to distract you", he mutters.
"Sorry", I mutter back as I want to leave he holds on to my wrist and pulls me along.
"What the hell Jake? Let the fuck go of me?"
Once we are a bit out of sight he comes to stop.
"You and Evans, are you?...... I mean you and him?"
"Together? No! But it's none of your business anyway?"
"But he has been in your bed, I heard it."
What? Oh my god, he heard Evans last night mocking me.
"Like I said it's none of your business, but if you really need to know he was in my fucking bed to hold me while I was crying my fucking balls out all night because of you. Now let the hell go of me."
His eyes are shocked.
"You cried all night?"
"Fuck you Jake, I am not talking to you about it."
"And you didn't fuck him?"
"No, I am not the fucking whore you made me look like, happy now?", I yell.
Evans is heading our direction and yells at Jake to finally leave me in peace.
I slam my board to the ground and use all fuelled anger to power out my body. Pushing it to the limit in the pool. I definitely need to start my MMA here again too, the skateboard won't be enough to control my anger. Otherwise I might end up punching Jake again.
I nearly get into a fight as a stupid douchebag, doesn't know how to handle his board and crashes into me for the third time within five minutes.
"Hey calm down", Evans goes in between. "I think you need to step out for a minute Sam."
"No way, this guy just needs to watch out more. If you can't handle this park, how about taking schooling first or a baby ramp", I growl.
"Whoa Sam, leave your anger outside of this park ok? Come on, we are here to have fun. Everyone is and this guy is just learning."
As much as I would like to smash their faces in right now. I know Evans is right and I am absolutely over the top.
"I'm sorry, I had a fucking day and let it drop on you."
The guy who seems to be a few years younger maybe seventeen or eighteen, smiles at me. "It's ok, get it. I could see how aggressive you were taking your board. But hey, I think you're a hell of a good skater and I wouldn't mind to learn some things from you."
A little embarrassed and feeling guilty I answer. "Ok, if I see you the next time, I'll teach you a couple of things. Today I just need to crash my board."
He nods and I keep up skating until total exhaustion. The way home seems like ages, as my muscles are burning. But at least my anger has subsided a little.
Authors Note: Well Jake is behaving weird isn't he? It's about time to get a tiny POV from him, what do you think?
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