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***********************
I watched him as he slept.
Inner stalker, hello again.
His blonde hair was tossed around and his mouth was slightly parted.
I didn't know him anymore.
He looked like a little boy, his arms on my chest.
He shifted, wrapping his arms around me in his sleep, pulling me closer, his head resting on my upper chest.
"You're going to make this harder," I mumble, letting a tear fall from my eye.
He tightened his arms around me and mumbled again, sleeping deeply.
"I'm so sorry."
*******************
I wish I could say I was counting the minutes, hours, seconds since Cole left. But I've been in a daze.
I wanted him to hug me and tell me everything was alright.
But I didn't deserve it. I know I didn't.
Chase came over to comfort me. He said Cole texted him and explained that his Dad's car broke down and he was going to surprise me with flowers.
I felt like such a dick.
He was looking forward to camping so much.
Chase was sleeping soundly at the foot of my bed. I was merely lying on top of my bed. I didn't sleep much last night.
"Hmmmmmmm," Chase groaned, stretching his long limbs as he sat up.
"Good Morning," he mumbled, yawning.
"It's actually 12:09 I said, glancing at my phone again. I had been rapidly checking it for the past few hours. Sure Cole would call anytime.
"I feel like I slept on a brick," Cole mumbled, rubbing his eyes. I let out a small chuckle as his eyes landed on my feet, which he was laying on.
"Makes sense," he mumbles.
We were silent for a second.
"I fucked up, didn't I?" I ask, loosing a chuckle.
"Yep. Yep, you did. Especially since you didn't tell me, your best friend either," he stood up and rubbed his back, "but that's a lecture for another time."
I sighed and glanced down at my toes. I knew I fucked up. But I let myself get in the way. I was becoming more and more toxic. It's time for a relationship detox.
I stood up and got ready for the morning, trying to distance myself from my phone.
"He'll come around, Bee," Chase said, cracking an egg into a pan. Healthy eater. Why does he have to be a healthy eater?
"Yeah, well I-"
Chase stopped me, "You fucked up. I know. This is common knowledge. Now, when he comes back to talk to you, apologize and everything goes back to normal," Cole says, flipping his egg over.
"It's not that simple!" I groan.
"It might not be. But I'm not going to coddle you and say," he pretended to flip his hair back and raised his voice, "Oh sweetie you did nothing wrong and I hope Cole comes to his senses and whatever," he says, his face hardening again, "Because that isn't true,"
I looked down at my lap. He was right.
"Look, Bee," Chase knelt before me, "I love you. You are my best friend. And that's why I'm not going to coddle you right now. Okay?" he asks, booping my nose.
"Although, throwing the flowers was not necessary," he said, glancing at the flowers on the counter.
I nod and get up, trudging to the hall. As I do, my mother enters the room, sees Chase, and looks back at me.
"Hello, Ms.-"
"I'm not in the mood for pleasantries, Chase. Before you leave, take some food from the fridge. My daughter caused us to have an extreme amount of leftovers," she said, tossing an almost growl my way. Before anything else could be said, she turns and walks away. I guess she lost her appetite. I did too.
I sighed and continued on my way, putting on one of my old T-shirts and a pair of shorts. All of Cole's were in the laundry, and I couldn't bear to look at them now.
"Can we go out and maybe get some lunch?" I ask Chase as I emerge from the hall.
"We just ate breakfast and you already want to go get lunch?" Cole asked, scooping leftovers into a freezer bag.
"We can go shopping too," I offer blandly. I didn't feel like myself.
"Fine. Let me drop these off at my house first," he replied, grabbing his jacket from the couch, taking the bag with him.
"Bee," he said, turning around, "I think it's time you tell him about the last fight before you broke up," Chase said, looking back at me.
"I know," is all I can say in reply as Chase grabs his keys and we head out the door.
***************
"Bee..." Chase said, shaking my shoulder. We went to every store in town and barely bought anything. Yet, I was exhausted. Utterly exhausted. I happened to fall asleep in the car.
"Come on, I'll help you with the bags," Chase said. I yawned and nodded.
"Okay, Chasie," I mutter, hopping out of his truck.
My mind was spinning. Earlier, we had a conversation I had been wanting to have for a while.
"So..." I said, moving the clothes on the rack. Chase had wanted to get a new pair of jeans and let me pick out seven pairs for him.
"So what?" Chase asked from inside the dressing room stall.
"So, you and Lydia?" I ask. I knew they talked, but he hadn't opened up to me about the subject yet.
"What about us?" he asked, his voice visibly stiffening.
"Did you guys talk?" I ask, looking at a cool button-down shirt. I tossed it over the dressing room door and it flopped onto the ground.
"No, we didn't take..." he said suspiciously. The dressing room door opened and he stepped out.
"Nope, those jeans make you look sus. Try the next pair," I say, looking at the rack again. It was the rack or returns but it had some hidden gems, "so you to haven't met up at all?" I ask. They needed to talk before they both hurt themselves.
"That's not what I said," he mumbled under his breath.
Abruptly I stopped searching through the clothing outcasts and turned toward the now closed dressing room door.
"You have about five seconds to open that door and explain yourself," I demand. I hear chase snicker.
"What are you going to do?" he asks. Flustered, I yanked on the dressing room door. Thank goodness he was clothed.
"Those jeans are a keeper. But explain. Pweeeasseee," I beg. Chase sighs and runs a hand across his forehead.
"We...had relations, okay?" he asks. I crinkle my nose.
"You two hooked up?" I ask, my mouth falling agape.
"Yes, okay, we hooked up. It's not important," he mumbled, closing the door on me.
"If it's not important why are you embarrassed?" I ask.
"We're both eighteen. We're adults. It doesn't matter," he keeps mumbling.
"I just..." I look around, "I'm not used to this type of behavior from you. You don't really just...Hook up. Unless I've figured you out wrong, which if I did, I'm sorry," I go on, folding a pair of jeans in my hand and tossing it into the bottom of the return cart among the t-shirts and scarves that lay there.
"Well, I didn't mean to, of that makes sense," he closed the door again and I stood behind it.
"Accidental sex?" I ask.
"I wanted to talk to her. But then she kissed me and I..." he sighed, "she's still got me wrapped around her finger, but I just don't know if I love her anymore. It's been hard since she left, ya know?" he asks, opening the dressing room door one last time, taking the clothes he liked with him, dumping the others in the bin.
"Well, all I want is for you to be happy. And if you aren't happy with her, don't be with her," I say, hugging him with one arm.
"Yeah," he gives me a sly smile and pokes my stomach.
I giggle and grab the cart, going on with the shopping we planned.
I got out of the car and began walking to my front steps with Chase, making sure not to drop the heavy bags on the ground.
I opened the door and managed to help Chase put all the bags inside before noticing the other people in the room.
All three of them were sitting there, staring at Chase and I.
My mother, Charles, and Atticus.
"What's going on?" I ask.
"We wanted to talk. As a group. Not including him," Charles said, nodding his head toward chase.
I gave Chase a glance before nodding, signaling he should go. He gave me an abrupt hug before walking back out the front door. We were silent until the sound of his truck was at the end of the road.
"What are we talking about?" I ask, standing my ground. There was no way in Hell I was going to sit next to any of them.
"What was said at dinner," Atticus mumbled, clearly uncomfortable.
"What was said was said. We can leave it at that. Now, you can go," I say mostly to Charles. He lets out a sigh that almost turns into a chuckle.
"I'm afraid we can't do that, Isabella. What was said in that dining room could be..." he looks me directly in the eyes, "dangerous."
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
"We have decided," my mother said, grabbing Charles' hand, "that you cannot tell anyone what happened in that room. Or whatever encounters you and Atticus had while being together," she directed.
I furrowed my brow, "why? It really doesn't matter," I walked across the room, making my way toward the kitchen.
"Those simple statements can ruin your mother's reputation in seconds. And mine as well. Do you want to ruin your mother's life? Your fortune?" he asks. I turn and look at him.
"My mother's reputation would not be ruined by those stories. Only yours would," I say, pointing a finger at him, "she wasn't [physically, emotionally, and mentally abusing her significant other. She didn't raise an abusive son!" I say angrily, taking a step toward them sitting on the couch, "you did. So don't lecture me on your reputation."
I took another few steps before he chimed in again, "but she's dating me."
I stopped, my hands curling into fists, "that is her choice. And she knows the consequences," I whisper, turning to look at a clearly uncomfortable Atticus.
"Can you help me with my bags?" I ask him. He snaps out of his daze and is instantly grabbing bags from the doorway, following me to my room.
I placed the bags in my room and waited for Atticus to finish.
"Do you need a place to stay or a ride somewhere tonight?" I ask, avoiding his eyes.
"No," he says simply, looking around my room.
"Your phone is going off," he whispered. I glance at my phone, lying across my bed.
Cole's contact.
"I have to go," I whisper, hurriedly grabbing the phone. I needed this call. I needed this call.
**********************************
Can you tell I had no idea how to end this chapter? Hahahaha.
Ahaha
ha
ha
yeah, not too funny.
I've been getting behind, I'm sorry. But I promise updates every Friday, so here you go!
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I love you, my babies. There will be more actual littlespace content coming soon. I know there hasn't been a lot lately but I'm trying to create some character development.
See ya next Friday!