Harry's POV:
I couldn't sleep that night I kept turning around on the bed it's actually my pillow I forgot to bring it with me to here or it's just me trying to convince myself that I can sleep without them now but again I was wrong I needed them badly since back in Italy I didn't actually need them because by the time we get into the hotel I be so tired that I drink some medicine and immediately fall sleep but right now I don't need to drink medicine and I'm not really that tired
I set up on the bed giving up on trying to sleep sighing and looking outside the window seeing the tree branches moving it's probably gonna be raining tonight in this part of Carolina I learned that sunny weather is not always statement it can get really cold some nights and sometimes even storms happen but the next day the sun be so shining and warm like nothing just happened
Exactly like me and Maria. Our relationship is so unstable I don't know how to feel or think about it, I know we enjoy what we're doing and we are crossing so many lines but there's something more to it... at first I thought it's all sexual tension between us but after she called me few days ago to come to her house and when I hugged her until she fall sleep between my arms I felt something different like I shouldn't be there but I was, there's some painful twisting I feel in my chest every time I see her crying I feel the need to protect her I feel the need to be the one who wraps their arms around her and whisper soothing words until she calm down
I never in my entire life felt that attraction to anyone not even my ex girlfriends all I felt towards them was sexual needs but with Maria there's a flame burning every time we kiss or simply touch and I may sound ridiculous but I sometimes feels my heart skip a beat every time we made eye contact in the classroom
I rubbed my face with my ring less hands and pushed my hair back from my eyes seeing I should probably get a hair cut soon since it started to grow longer
I pushed the covers from my body and get up I wear my white sweater that I left on the chair next to the bed since I sleep shirtless but I can't sleep without my pillow to begin with.
I put the hoodie on my head hiding myself and putting both of my hands in my sweater pocket, I thought about smoking a cigarette outside maybe it will relax me and help me go to sleep
I opened my door quietly stepping out into the dark hallway seeing Maria's room is dark and there's no light coming from beneath the door telling she's probably sleeping
I closed the door and slowly started walking downstairs the coldness of the dark house surrounding me as I tried to find warmth in my sweater pockets
As I walked down I saw the many pictures hanging on the wall or on the far tables family pictures everywhere I see how happy they all look in each and every single picture there's no shade of sadness there's no disagreements they look so perfect the kind of family you could wish for but again here is this family falling apart slowly and I know if I didn't think fast we may loose the cause and the parents would divorce. The worst thing ever can person go through let a long a two teenage girls and a college boy is a parents divorce
They would never be the same I saw acts from Maria I never thought I would see one day at least not out of emptiness knowing she's hurt and only need a distractions by this act, I saw Noor the girl I used to see always happy, joyful, alive and always pain in the ass I saw the dark side of her I saw the shadows in her colors I saw her personality get ruined slowly and painfully and she don't deserve this, it's not her choice it's not anyone choice, I bet even Joe didn't have a choice in this she didn't want to feel unsafe she didn't want to feel weak and used by her own husband the person she loved and trusted the most just broke her trust and heart easily, I don't blame her but I also know divorce is never the solution
As I reached the main door of the house I wear my shoes and slowly open the door and step outside immediately being welcomed by the cold breeze of this beautiful night it's raining but not really that heavy just a couple of drops showering the plants
I took a deep breath standing on the porch smiling when the wet smell of the plants hit my nose, it's so relaxing to listen to the drops of rain only if your mind was clear and relaxed but I'm far from that my head was a roller coaster from the beginning of this year
I pulled the pocket of cigarettes out and the black lighter as well, I opened it taking with my two fingers a one white rolled cigarette then putting the rest back inside my pants pocket, I lifted the cigarette to hold it up between my lips my teeth slowly bite on it to keep it steady as I lift the lighter up in front of my face copping my other hand over it to keep the flame from the wind so it won't die out
After the end of the cigarette catch a flame I returned the lighter to my pocket and inhale the smoke from the cigarette filter side letting the deathly smoke filling my length fogging around them until it was hard to keep it inside anymore so I exhale the white smoke from my slightly parted lips and my nose as well
I took another deep drag looking at the dark empty street and how the rain hitting the concrete floor before taking the cigarette between my middle and index finger so I let the smoke leave my mouth fully this time
"Do you always smoke?" I nearly had a heart attack when I heard the voice behind me startle me I quickly turned around with slight wide eyes to look at the small little body setting on the small wooden porch swing right to the far left where I didn't see it when I came out here
"You scared me.." I whispered shallowing my cheek to suck on the cigarette again "how long have you been here?" I asked slowly walking to her so I can see her face clearly even though it's too dark we barely see each other but I notice she has her feet left up on the swing telling that she's been her way longer than I am
She didn't answer just shrugged her shoulders, I looked at her before leaning on the wall across from the swing so that means the railing of the house and the street behind me as I faced her leaning my back and head on the cold wall before answering her previous question "no.. I don't smoke often only when I'm stressed or in a need for one" I whispered looking down at my fingers holding the cigarette before taking another drag from it
"And which one are you right now?" She asked back and I looked at my yellow shoes before I looked back at her dark shadow face
"Both...why you up this late Mari?" I walked slowly before setting next to her on the swing leaning my elbows on my knees while my both legs are open holding my cigarette out watching how the flames going down the cigarette burning it slowly
"I'm both too..do you mind if I take a drag?" She asked and I turned my head to the side looking at her nodding her head to the cigarette between my fingers
"What if I said no?" I asked smirking to myself
"Well then I guess I can say no to our movie night as well" she said and I can hear the smirk in her voice I chuckled shaking my head looking down at the floor before lifting the cigarette to my lips taking a long drag and holding the smoke there
I straightened my back and get closer to her she looked confused at me before I leaned closer to her face I looked at her eyes to see hers were looking deep in mine I lift my hand that holding the cigarette with two fingers and pushed her curls behind her ear so it give me a good look of her full face, she leaned closer to my lips parting hers slowly and her hand on my thigh
I leaned even more closer feeling the smoke is hurting my length so I needed to get it out soon I slowly parted my lips in front of hers before blowing the white smoke in her mouth and she gladly suck it all like it's her last breath to take when the smoke is finally free from my length I pressed my lips to hers in a hungry kiss missing the way they felt around mine
She hold my thigh tight a little and I moaned in her mouth rooming my tongue with hers holding her side face with my other hand to keep her still
When we finally pull away from the kiss I realized that the rain has stopped and everything around us was so quiet I opened my eyes slowly and she was staring at me
"I can't sleep without my pillow..." I whispered softly trying not to look at her eyes since I just admit something so personal and weak for an adult man like me
She squeeze my thigh catching my attention and I finally looked at her eyes again to see her looking at me the same way she always do with adoration "I understand... I can't sleep with bare feet as well even in summer they get very cold" she bite her lower lip blushing softly
I smiled to her before pressing a kiss to her left cheek "it's okay angel" I whispered
I pulled away and put my cigarette out before standing up and she looked at me still setting on the swing with both her feet up "come with me...let's go for a drive" I put my hand out for her to take and she smiled before taking it and stand up
I'm still wearing my hoodie up my head so I decided to take her hoodie from behind her and put it up her head as well seeing how cute she become with her curls popping out from the sides
I took her hand in mine and interlocked our fingers together before we started walking down the porch and to the garage taking my car keys with me was a good choice I made up there in the room.
I unlocked the car and let go of her hand so she can go to her side and I go to the driver side before we get in and I started the car immediately so it can heat up I watched Maria wearing her seatbelt and I did as well before I slowly pulled out the garage and out on the open road
Maria reached out and turned the Radio on and a soft songs started playing in the background, the wet streets was so gorgeous to drive on in this cold calm night, there was no sign of living out at this late time and I guess the quarantine is part of that as well
I smiled when I remembered something "someone was singing VERY dirty words the last time they were in my car" I looked to my side couldn't hide my grin anymore and she blushed hiding her face behind her long sleeves that covered all the way to her fingers
"Shut up Harry I was out of it that night" she whispered and I shake my head
"Oh believe me I knew it the moment you called me daddy" I chuckled looking at her and back to the road "so you can deep throat the dick or nah?" I laughed when she gasped and hit my arm playfully
Few minutes after we reached and I stopped the car "that's your house right?" Maria asked and I nodded "mhm.. come on let's get inside" I take the keys out the car and unlock my seatbelt before getting out the car and go to her side opening the door before she could even be finished with her seatbelt She shake her head with a chuckle before getting out the car
"What a gentleman, thank you" I nodded my head at her with a smile
I took her hand in mine again it's like she would get lost if I let it go while actually I just enjoy holding her hand in mine, I unlocked the main door and we walked inside the dark cold house
"Sorry I turned the electric off for two weeks since I'm staying in your house, didn't want to pay for something I don't use" I explained why the house was ice cold and there's no lights on
"It's okay Harry" she rubbed her arms looking around the dark house, she only had been here once I think so that's why she was looking
I turned my phone flashlight on so we can see where we going and I started walking inside and she followed behind me
We walked upstairs and I looked at her to see if she's nervous being here alone with me in my house but she wasn't actually she was very relaxed and her face kept smiling every time our eyes meet
I walked inside my room and pointed the flash around my room "your room is very tidy for a guy like you" she walked around the room and stand in Front of the full length mirror like she's returning some memories
I walked to my bed and stand there for a minute frowning "why? Being a guy doesn't mean I have to be messy right?" I turned around to look at her taking her hoodie off setting her curls free
"Well...in California most guys are messy..but you're English...and also lived in New York" she trail her hands on the pictures on the wall still not looking at me
"First that's not making any sense and second I've always liked to keep my place tidy if it was my bedroom or living room or even my classroom" I see her stopping in front a picture in the wall I pointed the flashlight on it and saw she was looking at a picture of me and my mother and step father
I walked slowly to her and stand next to her looking at the picture "that's my mom and that's my step father" I said pointing at them and she smiled and pointed at me with my long hair this picture is a little bit old a couple of years ago when I was in college and have a long hair back then
"And who's that?" She asked I frown playfully looking at me in the picture before shrugging "that's her son" I pointed at my mom again and she chuckled shaking her head
"Why did you cut your hair?" She take me by surprise and I looked at her like she's crazy
"Normal people would ask why did you have a long hair" I whispered with a smile and she leaned her back to the wall now facing me
"Well, you were looking hot in it so why did you cut it?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest and I leaned my hand on the wall next to her head
"I don't know... I guess I was just having fun in college..thought about cutting it off since I became a teacher and should look more adult you know?" I said looking around her face with a dim light of my phone lighting one side of her face
"But you were looking like a hot daddy in it" she bite her lower lip and I widen my eyes
"Maria this mouth of you gonna be the death of me I swear" I chuckled shaking my head before pulling away and walking to my bed again
I took my white big pillow and turned around again "here... I got it let's go back home you probably tired" I said smiling at how she rubbed her eye with her sleeve and nodded softly like a baby
She took my pillow when we reached downstairs and took a deep breath from it "you right. It smells good I wouldn't fall sleep without it as well if I were you" she pulled it away from her face and I chuckled before we get out the house and into my car before we drove back to her house