A/N: In this story, I've chosen to not include A Li's birth during the Su Su tragedy. It mostly played out like it did in TMOPB/Eternal Love with the whole eyes thing but without her being pregnant and without Feng Jiu's involvement. I, a therapist who's heard almost everything under the sun found that part of the show where Ye Hua was forced to extract out her eyes incredibly hard to watch. It was one of the saddest things for me besides how they unfairly treated Dong Hua and Feng Jiu. I'm not into that level of angst so A Li will happen later from good old-fashioned love-play.
Thank you so much for everyone's comments and votes. I am truly humbled people would read this far. I had a moment today where I sat back at my desk, stared at the computer screen and was like "how the f___ did I write all of this?" Thank you to all of you who have been supportive and kind witnesses to what for me, has been the unbelievable.
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"How do you know about my eyes?" asked Bai Qian in a fierce whisper. Her glance darted over to her niece.
Hey, cat. My little niece doesn't know about that. It was a very dark time for me. Figuratively and literally, said Bai Qian telepathically.
Mogu just continued to blink at her and sniffed her.
"What about Gugu's eyes?" asked Feng Jiu worriedly.
Ye Hua sighed and squeezed Bai Qian's hand. "Your mount is just remarking at how beautiful her eyes are."
Bai Qian narrowed her eyes at the Snow Lion and sniffed him back.
"Oh shit it's you," she whispered.
Mogu widened his eyes at her and nodded his heavy head.
"What is it Qian Qian?" asked Ye Hua with concern.
Feng Jiu looked at everyone with confusion.
Bai Qian threw a sound privacy barrier up around the three of them and purposely left out her niece who furrowed her brow in displeasure. "I know how he knows now. When I was ... blind, and I was still very upset with you, I kept trying to make my way to Zhu Xian Terrace."
Ye Hua nodded as an icy look glazed over him as he stared at the ground.
Bai Qian sighed. "One day on one of my walks as I had my hands out trying to feel my way there, I hit up against a wall. A mossy wall. Then it moved. Then I realized it wasn't a wall at all. It was some sort of fur beast." She nodded over to the mount who was listening intently.
"It was him. I remember his smell and apparently he remembers mine and how I looked. He witnessed a very sad time in my life," she whispered. "Sometimes all we need is a witness who remembers."
"Look, cat, that time in my life was traumatizing." She looked over tenderly to Ye Hua. "We've taken a lot of time to work things out but I'd rather not have to put my niece through that wretched painful story. Also, she's really started to accept you, Ye Hua, as her uncle. I don't want her knowing anything about the past that would change that."
"Even if she hated me I'd deserve it," he said with a pained look in his eyes.
"Stop it. We've gotten this far and we did it together. I've accepted what happened and I know we're far beyond it. Don't go back. Stay with me," Bai Qian whispered with a pleading look.
Ye Hua leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. He was not one for public displays of affection but he was learning how to live in the moment, more and more with her.
Mogu nodded his heavy head. He remembered how he was taking a stroll through the Nine Heavens when he saw a blindfolded mortal pawing her way around. She had bumped up into him. He curiously could tell she was without her eyes.
Bai Qian sighed and looked at the Snow Lion. "Besides, I know she's had her own painful love story to deal with. Promise me cat, that you won't tell her about how I didn't have my eyes."
The beast could not understand everything that was being spoken of but he understood that he was asked to protect his mistress from feeling sad. He could feel his mistress had dealt with many burdens previously. He could feel her heart had been heavy.
Mogu nodded. "The story of how we met will be invisible," he grumbled out.
Ye Hua shook his head. "What does that even mean? That doesn't even make sense."
Bai Qian patted him on his shoulder reassuringly. "I understand him. He means it's invisible meaning it won't be seen by her; she won't know the truth because he'll keep the secret."
"Are you sure we can trust him, Qian Qian?" whispered Ye Hua.
She nodded. "He doesn't mean any malice. Look at him. He's a perfect carbon copy of his master. He's handsome and completely clueless. He's just lucky to even know where he is right now."
The Snow Lion blinked back blankly at them.
"Now let's do some damage control," she said with a sigh while glancing over at her confused niece.
She withdrew the sound privacy barrier. "Xiao Jiu, your mount here is about as well-socialized as his master. You know I have a temper. When he accused me of finding my eyes at the black market I was about to give him a tongue-lashing. I didn't want you to hear so I threw up a sound barrier. We've since worked things out."
Mogu nodded agreeably. "They are her own eyeballs. When she came out of your fox grandmother they were already stuck in her head. We have cleared the matter up."
Migu watched the whole scene before him from start to finish and could do nothing except sigh. He didn't know what was worse. Was it having to be on cock-blocking duty with the little princess and her former Master of the Universe or having to watch the little princess's mount metaphorically lift his leg all over the fox den? The tree spirit had no idea how he would be managing things in the next few days.
---
Bai Qian was impatiently drumming her fingers over the table while the mount provided a lecture to the inhabitants of the fox den about how he was not a cat. Ye Hua had already closed his eyes and entered into a meditation to make more practical use of his time.
Feng Jiu was entertained and amused while watching her mount and eating some walnuts from the secret stash in her sleeve. The tree spirit had already made a quick dash to the kitchen, a place he loathed because of the fire but found it safer than having to listen to the lecture.
Mogu then proceeded to list all of his titles as mount of Dong Hua Dijun, the former emperor of everything and how he had accumulated more titles by being the mount and protector of the presumptive Queen of Qing Qiu. He then went on about how he was bestowed the illustrious name "Mogu" by his mistress and how a whole cult had formed around him whose sole purpose was to sell, barter and trade items so they could afford to procure offerings to him.
"Looks like the fox den is being held hostage," said a calm voice.
Mogu looked towards the entrance of the fox den. "The bird man and his pretty-boy mate are here," grumbled out the beast with a nod.
Bai Qian stood up and smiled. "Shall I introduce the two of you to Xiao Jiu's babysitter and protector? I don't think I can get all the titles correct, he has more than father," she said drily with a smirk.
Feng Jiu jumped up and ran over to Zhe Yan and Bai Zhen giving them each tight hugs.
Bai Zhen looked over to his sister while still holding his niece in his arms. "We've been introduced. Intimately. Zhe Yan held his rear up and I tried to steady his massive upper body when he had to relieve himself while still healing from his wounds."
Mogu nodded his heavy head. "Their assistance was much appreciated as I deposited my waste. Master teaches me to accept help as everything is interdependent. Please know that I am now self-reliant in this matter and will not require your assistance this evening."
Everyone just stared at the beast. Zhe Yan was the first to nod and acknowledge him. The old phoenix looked over to his niece.
"So, is this a forever thing? Is he going to be at all our family get-togethers?" asked Zhe Yan.
"Dijun, says he goes wherever I go," she said while walking over to her mount and affectionately stroking her hands through his long white mane to sculpt him a mohawk.
"Of course," muttered Zhe Yan.
"Why has everyone come home to the fox den?" she asked innocently.
"Xiao Jiu ... you really have spent too much time with that old rock. You've been bitten by his forgetful bug, haven't you?" asked Bai Qian.
Zhe Yan leaned into her and whispered, "I forgot to tell you he's not demented."
"Don't say that. He remembers everything," Feng Jiu murmured thinking about their book that he wrote. "Family get-together? What family get-together?"
"She's been away from the den too long," smiled Bai Zhen. "I see you never made it to the black market," he whispered into her ear. She blushed and shook her head.
"Xiao Jiu, it's your grandfather's birthday celebration, we always come back to the den during this time. Have you forgotten?" asked her aunt.
She gasped as her uncle released her from his warm embrace. "Oh, Gugu that's right. I totally forgot ... everyone's coming back? Even mother and father?"
"Yes, my forgetful former kitling," Bai Qian said as she playfully tapped Feng Jiu on the shoulder with her Jade Purity Fan. "Your First and Third Uncle will also be back."
"Oh ..." she said quietly while continuing to scratch her mount's neck as he purred.
Everyone noticed her subdued expression. She was usually the first to revel in the festivities of her grandfather's birthday celebrations and would talk endlessly about the food she would cook for the gathering and later devour with gusto.
"I'm happy to see everyone back at the den. But, I'm actually tired. May I be excused? I want to go to my room and take a nap," she said quietly.
Everyone nodded silently and watched her leave with her massive mount in tow.
As she walked to her room, she began wringing her fingers.
"Mistress is vexed," grumbled out her mount as he looked at her worriedly.
As she opened the door into her room and walked through she turned around and realized that her mount was too large to fit through her door.
He immediately aura-traveled in a small white spark into her room with no issues.
When he emerged before her, she sighed and stroked his furry head. "Mogu, I'm sorry you'll have to use precious cultivation just to enter and leave my room."
"As your mount I am to accompany Mistress and keep you safe. I would aura-travel into anyone's deep dark hole. I would make myself fit even where it seems I would be too big."
She scratched her head and nodded at how unsettling that sounded but she appreciated his loyalty and devotion.
She sighed and heavily sat down onto her bed.
"Mogu, what will we do? I totally forgot about my grandfather's birthday celebration. Dijun is to be back in a few days. I haven't even figured out how to tell my family yet."
"But the bird man and your pretty-boy uncle know."
"Yes, but I'm worried the most about my father and my grandfather. They want me to get married to someone who is not Dijun. And everyone in the Nine Heavens thinks Dijun will adopt me. I'm not quite sure how all of that will be settled," she said worriedly. "Also, if he comes here, he won't be able to stay in my room."
Mogu took a step forward and gently nuzzled her face with his velvet muzzle.
"Mistress is the mate of Master. This can no longer be invisible. Why is it that he cannot get into this hole. I have gotten into the hole. He will surely not have trouble getting into the hole."
"Um ... Mogu, let's just call it my room. I know this space is like a hole because it is much smaller than your cave. You are not used to having rooms since your cave is just one large lair."
"Ruuuuuuum," he rumbled out.
"Yes," she said as she nuzzled him back with a fox kiss.
"Mistress wants Master in the room to do the rub?"
She wasn't quite sure what specifically "the rub" was but she knew there was no one except her librarian she would rub or be rubbed by.
"But Mogu, you don't understand. The fox den will be full. It will be full of High Gods and High Goddesses. Their energies are sensitive. Um, I think the last time Dijun and I did the ... all encompassing rub ... like really did it ... we affected the surrounding energy. I'm afraid nothing will get past my family. There is no rubbing that will be allowed. You know how Dijun taught you as a cub that you cannot defecate in your cave?"
The large beast nodded his heavy head.
"Well, I cannot do the rub in the fox den. I think I'll just have to forgo the rub even if he is allowed to stay here."
"Mogu will make the rub happen!" he roared out.
"Shhhh, Mogu, please we have to be quiet," she pleaded.
Her mount grumbled out agitatedly.
"Mogu will make it so! Master will be in your hole. It will be invisible to everyone else!"
"Shhh ... Mogu ... room... my room, not my hole!"
"Ruuuuuuuuum," the mount grumbled out.
She nodded approvingly.
"Mogu, I'm going to read the book now. I'll read it out loud to you."
"Not the stupid one!" he grunted out loudly.
"Nono, Mogu, it's Dijun's book that he wrote for me."
"That one will have the good words," he said agreeably.
---
She had wanted her mount to cuddle with her on the bed as she read the book but the both of them realized that he wouldn't fit. She instead laid out a blanket on the floor of her room and she rested against his side while she read their story.
Her eyes misted and she sniffled. "He nicknamed me 'Xiao Bai' on the first day we met and spent time together," she whispered.
"I've been 'Feng Jiu' and 'Xiao Jiu' all my life but all I want now to be is his 'Xiao Bai." She conjured a small table and a set of calligraphy brushes with the finest hairs to produce the smallest script so she could write out her own thoughts and feelings during that same stretch of time. He had written the story in third person and she would follow suit.
"Mogu, did you know he initially camouflaged his looks and cultivation so I could not recognize him as Dong Hua Dijun. I just thought he was a dandy Celestial. But after we got attacked by demons, his true form was revealed I realized he was Dong Hua Dijun, the former ruler of everything. I haven't been able to take my eyes off of him since," she said with a smile.
She kept reading the book out loud. She intermittently would stop to write her thoughts down and sometimes even share them with her mount who listened attentively.
"Mogu, did you know that my time spent with him in the Fang Xu Realm were some of my happiest days? I know I'm barely 30,000 years old. It's but a speck of dust compared to how long he's lived. I might not have known that I was in love with him then. I just knew that he was the most special person I had befriended and I wanted to spend all my time with him."
She thought about the first sunset she shared with her librarian. "I've watched sunsets in the company of other people before, but with him, it was different."
"Write the words, Mistress. I know what is in your heart and so will Master," grumbled out the beast.
She read until her throat was dry and wrote until her fingers and wrist hurt.
Her mount was alarmed as she read the eleventh chapter out between muffled sobs and a flood of tears.
"Mogu, I had never told anyone what had happened to me. I couldn't understand why someone would try to touch me in the ways he did. I felt so dirty," she sobbed and shook her head. She took in several deep breaths and finally released a long deep exhale.
"Dijun, became the safest person to me," she said quietly. "He never forced his touch or presence on me. He waited. He waited that night until I could finally talk about what happened. He's waited this whole time for me and never left my side."
The beast was quiet as he watched her carefully. He was glad to see her breathing had gradually become regulated.
"It was just the beginning. Everyone calls him a rock as if it's a bad thing. He became my bedrock. He never gave up on me. Every time my past came back to haunt me, every time I couldn't act like a normal person, every time I regressed, pulled away from him, or did or said something stupid or weird, he never gave up on me. When I bound myself, he never gave up on me, and instead helped me find the freedom from my trauma I never thought was possible."
"I can allow myself to be loved ... by him ... because of him." She leaned over and began writing while breathing deeply through each brushstroke.
She slowly began smiling as she worked through the chapter, "Releasement."
"Mogu, I met you for the first time then," she said while gazing at her mount warmly. "I had no idea then I would one day have the true honor of having you as my mount. What do you remember during that time?" she asked quietly.
"I knew Mistress was the small favorite person to Master. Mistress smelled like the flowers. I did not know about the roast ducks and the dead bodies then but Mogu knew you would one day fly on my back with Master."
She reached out and scratched his ear affectionately. "It was then I decided to make him the flower petal charm. I kept it a secret ... I mean kept it invisible," she said with a small smile.
"I knew that no matter what, I wanted a piece of me to always be with him. That piece of me could be tucked into his sleeve or in his sash. He could have stuck it down his boot; I didn't care. I just wanted to be with him, travel everywhere with him. Even when he would eventually fall into Nothingness, I wanted him to know he wasn't alone. A small red fox was a stowaway on his ship. He had already given me the opportunity to have safe passage through the rest of my life. I would see him through the rest of his."
She closed her eyes and held her hand to her chest and felt the warm flutter of the charm inside her. "Remember how I said I didn't care where he kept this piece of me? I just wanted to be with him. I never would have imagined he would place me in his heart."
She pulled out his purple handkerchief and carefully wiped her tears away so the deluge would not fall onto the book and smudge the last words she had written.
"Mistress is tired. You need to do the sleep," said the beast with a low and gentle purr.
She shook her head. "I can write some more. I want Dijun to be able to read this when he comes back. There were so many things he didn't know," she said as she heavily blinked back her exhaustion.
She continued reading and writing until her eyelids wilted and her body gave out. She slowly slumped onto the table. Her mount had conjured the ink to the floor so it would not stain her robe.
---
"Qian Qian, she's probably fine," said her betrothed as they walked down the corridor.
"Look, you don't know her like I do. She loves a party at the fox den and she loves it when everyone comes home. To go to her room like this to rest while it's not even dark out is not her. Maybe she's sick or something but I have to check."
When she opened the door to her niece's room she saw the little fox princess laying over a small writing table with her mount curled up asleep right next to her.
"What is she doing?" Bai Qian whispered while shaking her head.
"I'll put her in bed," said Ye Hua softly as he carefully removed her from over the table and into his arms. He placed her gently on the bed and pulled a blanket over her.
Bai Qian knelt down to sit in front of the table next to the Snow Lion who had drowsily opened his eyes as the sound of his heavy breathing filled the room.
"What is this?" she asked as she carefully thumbed through the pages in front of her. Ye Hua came to sit by her side.
"This is Dong Hua Dijun's immaculate calligraphy. I know it because I grew up reading many things written by him."
"And this is her writing," whispered Bai Qian as she traced a finger over her niece's neat and tiny brushstrokes.
They both sat reading for an undetermined amount of time until a loud shrill sob escaped her mouth. She bit down on her fist to silence her cries. Blood trickled down her pale white skin. Ye Hua wrapped his arms around her tightly as she seethed soft high-pitched sobs quietly.
"Our Xiao Jiu. Why didn't she tell us?" she whispered between her muted sobs. "For one thousand years this little kit ... one thousand years ..."
Mogu watched them quietly. "The Gugu is sad for Mistress," he grumbled out.
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A/N: Thank you to those still reading this story. Now someone in her family knows. If you enjoyed this chapter or any others, please consider voting by clicking on the star below. Thank you again!