Words 1612
EMERY.
"Oh my god, Emery what did you do?" Mom exclaims, standing up from the table in shock as she looks at my freshly cut and straightened hair.
I roll my eyes, huffing as I sit down. "I cut my hair. Why? You don't like it?" I snap.
She stares at me for a second and I can tell she doesn't like the way I acted towards her in front of family. She always gets mad at me when I roll my eyes at her in public, or do anything remotely unkind to her in public. It's the one thing she's not afraid to yell at me for honestly. "I liked it better longer." She answers simply, sitting back down and sighing. She messes with the napkin she has in front of her.
Dad is still looking at me with a shocked expression and everyone else has their heads down because they are uncomfortable. Not my fucking fault! It's mom's.
That is not the reaction I wanted, that's for sure. I expected them to think it looked pretty and to tell me I'm pretty or some shit. That's what they do in movies and books. I sit down, my anger rising as the imaginary 'I love your hair!' story fades back into the books, never to come out into reality. "Well, fuck what you think." I say under my breath, and mom takes a deep breath, keeping her head lowered and her gaze attached to the napkin.
Dad clears his throat, finally looking away from my supposedly hideous mess of hair and onto the food on the table. "This looks fucking delicious."
I roll my eyes at the fact he can curse all he wants, but when I do it they all fall into an awkward silence. Suddenly Uncle Landon finds the courage to finally speak and asks mom about her work. Everyone grabs their share of food as mom explains her stupid ass job. Honestly, just hearing her voice is making me want to fucking explode into anger. She ruins everything. I thought they would like my decision to cut my hair and it's not like my hair is uneven or any of that shit. Addy did a very good job and I sat there for at least ten minutes with a huge grin on my face as I admired myself for the first time in a very long time. I felt like a new person, but now mom had to fucking ruin it by making me feel self conscious about it. What the fuck is wrong with her? Why the fuck do I have to listen to everything she says? Who the fuck cares if she likes my hair longer—
"Are you going to eat?" Mom asks, breaking the last thin layer of ice that was keeping my anger at bay.
"Why? Are you going to fucking force me?" I harshly remark, and she shuts her eyes the way she does when she is trying to keep her cool.
"Emery," dad begins to stand up, but mom stops him.
"Stop it, Hardin. Not here." Everyone watches their exchange, and I can't help but want to laugh at how confused they all fucking look. None of them probably know how mom and I aren't on good terms. None of them probably know how infuriating she makes me. I can't help but laugh slightly, glancing around the table at all the clueless faces. Suddenly I hear a slam and a clink of a plate and fork and I jump as I turn my stare towards my furious mom. She's standing up now, her face red with anger. "You should've asked me!"
My dad reaches for her hand, "Tessa," he mumbles, but she pulls away from him.
"No! I'm sick of you treating me this way! Especially in front of family! I try to be nice to you, and to not get too involved in your personal shit, but you're really making it hard!"
I stand up, my blood boiling. "Maybe that's because I don't want you in my fucking life! You think that after what you did, I'd fucking forgive you?" I feel my eyes swell up with tears and my voice croaks at the end of my shout.
"I don't even know what I did!" She shouts back.
The tears spill over my eyes as I scream, "You told on Robby to the police! You selfish bitch!" I hold my posture, the tears rolling down my cheeks inaudibly as I wait for her answer. She looks at me as if I have two heads, and I feel my anger build at her reaction. Does she really think it's not a big deal? He didn't mean to fucking hurt me, yet she turned him in anyways. He begged me to keep quiet, and now I have her guilt on my conscience.
"Selfish?" Her voice is calmer now, more confused than angry. "He almost-" she stops her words as she realizes there's other people watching and my eyes go wide at the same realization.
Fuck, they all heard. "Fuck!" I vocalize my frustration, pushing my chair across the room. It makes a loud crash when in topples over onto the hard floor. I quickly turn around and head for the front door, swinging it open and slamming it shut. Voices of both dad, mom, and the others call out to me and I sigh with relief once the door is shut, blocking their voices from entering my ears.
I feel by blood boiling in my veins as I walk across the yard, kicking the first thing that I see, which happens to be a trash can. The trash can falls, garbage spilling out of it and I recoil once I feel a lightning of pain bolt through my toe and up my foot. "Fuck!" I shout again, stepping back and running my fingers through my hair.
"Are you okay?" I hear a small voice ask, and I quickly wipe my eyes, before facing the timid girl, Addy.
"Yes, now fuck off." I sneer, turning around and kicking a piece of trash across the yard. I begin walking, ignoring the slight pain I feel in my toe. It feels like I stubbed it hard. Well, I did. So what-fucking-ever.
"Where are you going?" She asks. I hear her running to catch up.
"What do you not understand about fuck off? I don't want to talk to you." I keep walking, although I don't know where I'm going. I'm on the sidewalk now, going right from the house.
"Listen, you don't have to talk about it but don't run away from your problems. That only makes them worse." Addy says, and I scoff at her. She is being so fucking annoying. "What are you going to do whenever you get lost out here? Who is going to help you?"
That sets off the second bomb of the day. The third one is being set up, and my conscience is just waiting patiently for the next blow. I stop walking and look at her furiously. "I don't need anyone's fucking help! People need to stop fucking trying to help me. I'm sick and tired of it!" I scream, pulling my hair as if I'm insane. Mom tried to help me, and I lost Robby because of it. Now there's an entire other family knowing about it. How the fuck could I let that happen? I'm such a fuck-up.
"Listen, we can go into the treehouse and talk-"
"I don't want to fucking talk!" I shout, before realizing that's not going to make Addy leave. I decide to calm my voice down, maybe she'll leave if I tell her I need to be alone. "I want to be alone. Just tell them I'll be back before dark." I mumble, and begin to walk again down the sidewalk.
Addy doesn't follow this time. Great fucking victory for me. Now I'm alone, and I wish I had someone to take me home. Instead, I keep walking down the street, letting Cole's Spotify playlist play through my iPhone's poor speakers. He gave me the name of his playlist on Spotify, and I actually like it. It's better than walking with my fucked up thoughts about how fucked up I am.
TESSA.
I stare at the front door once Emery leaves, hoping and praying that the door will open and she will apologize. What she did was shitty and rude. I wish she wouldn't treat me this way, especially in public. She knows how much I hate the attention, especially when it's negative.
After a few seconds of waiting for the door to fling open, I let out a breath and sit down, adjusting my napkin into my lap. I feel Hardin's warm rough hand on my forearm and before he can ask his concerns I shake my head. "I'm fine, Hardin. Leave it be." I say quietly. Landon speaks up.
"Is she coming back?" He asks, before pointing to Addy. "Addy, go check on her."
"Tess," Hardin quietly mumbles, and I look over at him. "You sure?"
I nod, and he gives me a small smile before getting out of his chair. "Wait- where are you going?"
"To get Emery. I'm not letting her walk on an unfamiliar street alone." He answers as if it's obvious. Honestly, it is pretty obvious. I would go after her if it wouldn't make things worse. Maybe it's smart that Hardin is going.
I nod, "okay." He scoots out from the trap his chair and the table had on him and walks towards the front door.
◉‿◉
𝙰𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎
Happy thanksgiving!
Chapter twenty one: Nov. 26, 2020