Mommy said she'll bring me to school. I will start school today! I always waited for this day to come. I asked mommy if I could bring a toy and she let me bring my teddy bear! Her name is Ruki, she is my friend! I'll bring her to school today!
"You want that child to go out to the world? That useless child of yours?" Daddy and mommy is fighting again, they always fight because of me. "She is worthless, don't show her off."
"She is your child! How can you say that about Narumi? She's 4 years old. She still has a lot of space to learn new things. She's the asset to our company." I don't understand what mommy and daddy are saying.
The butler man asked me to go the car and wait for mommy, he got my bag so I just carried Ruki with me. He carried me to the car and sat me on the backseat, tying the belt around my lap. I smile and giggle as I play with the strap, seeing him smile at me.
The first day of school, I made a friend! His name is Kozume Kenma! He knows how to catch people's attention. He's friends with everyone! He approached me and asked me to become his friend too, he protected me from everyone.
"Naru-chan, tell me if they hurt you again!" I smile and nod. "You always have me, okay?" He held my hand and brought me to the table, we made drawings.
"Kenma... look!" I color the last part and showed it to him. His eyes sparkled and he took it from me. "Is it pretty?"
"Yes! I like it!" Thank you!
Kenma was there for me. Mommy stopped coming with me to school and I only come with the butler man. I stopped bringing Ruki too, mommy said she's a stupid toy. Mommy said I look ugly with it so I throw her away to the trash can. Mommy doesn't like her.
Many days came! Today's my birthday! But when I came to school, friends did not greet me a happy birthday. They don't know my birthday, they not know that today is Narumi's birthday.. I'm alone at my table, eating my sandwich. Mommy didn't say happy birthday too...
Someone kissed my cheek and pinched it. It's Kenma! He give me a sweater and I wear it. "December 3... it's your birthday! Happy birthday Naru-chan!" He hugged me and we both giggle. He kissed my cheek again and pat my head gently.
It was okay.. we were friends.. close friends. But someone new came to school. Her name is (L/n) Heather, her name is not Japanese.. but she's Japanese.. I like her name! It's pretty! But.. what ever happened next isn't pretty. She became my friend but..
"Heaaa! Let's play in the garden!" They're always together, I have no friend anymore. "Naru-chan.." Kenma hold my hand and smiled. "We'll play!"
Everywhere and every time, she's there too.. I don't want it.. Kenma only talks to her now. She stole my friend from me. I hate why she's always with Kenma. He's my friend! She took my friend.. everyone likes her too. No one likes me! And my only friend...
"Hea! I hate you!" Mommy hates me too.
Whatever I did.. I'm scared. I pushed her and Kenma tried to help her but they both fall off the building. They went to the hospital and they slept for a long time. They didn't go to school.. They never came back to school. They left. Mommy and daddy said that Heather moved away and Kenma too.
I still feel guilty over everything. I didn't mean to push her off the building, or maybe I did because I never knew the consequences of my actions. I lived my life in regret and up until now, I still live with the same feelings. Guilt, regret, anger and hate. I hate myself for doing that to them.
I met Kenma again during middle school but.. "I said who the hell are you to hug me?" He has amnesia, he doesn't remember me. "Please let go of me."
"Y-You changed.." I let out an awkward chuckle having him push me off. He glared at me.
"I don't like it when girls touch me." He said and turned around to leave.
I kept pestering him over it. I always run after him in school and everyone called me weird for it. I don't care. I want my friend to remember me! He has to remember me! I still have the sweater and the letters he wrote for me on my birthday! He made many things for me.
Kenma kept pushing me away, asking a friend of his to help push me off. He never looked my way. He always said that he hates me for pestering him about something he has no knowledge of. I don't know what I'm feeling but I want him by my side. I need him!
My parents hate me! They hate me for pushing the two off the building, I didn't mean to do it! But mommy called me a monster ever since. She doesn't talk to me like she used to, no more sweetheart or honey. She hates me. She hates me more than she hates green peas.
When I got into high school, I met Kenma again. I saw him again. Maybe it's fate? He and I met again! He's my classmate and I'm a few seats away from him. I sit in front and he sits at the back. Today's the third month of school, basically the last month before summer break.
"(L/n) (Y/n). 14." She introduced herself— that's Hea! She's different too, her eyes aren't bright as before! She's gloomy and scary, she has bags under her eyes. She looks horrible.
Kenma who always seemed uninterested in introductions, was watching her every move. He remembers her? But if he did then he should've spoken to her already. Nor Kenma or Hea remembers anything from the past, only I carry our memories. These will be kept away from them.
I still tried to get Kenma to remember me and every time I see him I felt weird. Something so happy in my stomach. Just then I realized that I liked him! Well he is my best friend from before, I want to stay by his side for the rest of our lives. He's handsome now.. he really matured.
I thought that nothing will happen but during second year, a lot of things occurred. Unfortunate things. Kenma and Hea started to hang out more and they got closer! Kenma would smile around her, she's also very comfortable with him, They're friends again.
Apparently (Y/n) ran away from their home and everyone's looking for her. I wanted to have Kenma for myself but then.. "Yeah, do you know how to track someone by their phone? I'm going to look for (Y/n), her parents are telling me to find her.." He loves her. Just like he did before.
Kenma was restless. He kept asking people if they could help with tracking her, and he was successful. The third day (Y/n) wasn't around, Kenma went out to get her. When they got back to school, Kenma was bright again. (Y/n) had gifts on her table from many people, Kenma asked them to.
She got Kenma sick. He was absent for days. I decided to ask him out once he gets back, I made a letter just for that. I waited and he's here!
"Kenma, please be my date for the prom." His eyes widened and someone's from the audience. (Y/n) was watching from the room, heh, I'll have him now—
"Sorry but I'm asking someone else out." I hold his hand and give him the letter. "Kazuhiko Narumi. You've pestered me for years, don't force yourself to me." But we were friends... he doesn't remember.. not even a single emotion from the past.. that just means I wasn't important.
When we got back to class, (Y/n) was crying. Fucking drama queen. Kenma tried to cheer her up but then, she's not budging. Look at them being so lovey-dovey. Kenma protected her head from the wall, is there something with her head that is sensitive? She did hit her head when we were younger.
Kenma skipped classes, look at him acting nothing like himself because of her. I tried to cheer him up instead and went with him to training. (Y/n) apparently had an anxiety attack and Kenma was called to be there for her. He's the only one who could calm her down, and the same goes to him.
Even though they weren't on speaking terms, he was still mindful of (Y/n). When Kuroo-san accidentally pulled her wrist and it snapped. Kenma pulled it back in place— whatever the hell he just did there, that was gross and scary. I do not want that.
He told me he was leaving already so I followed but (Y/n) followed him too. She's hopeful. They actually really look like a couple, they like each other... I can't fit myself in them. I didn't like having her around him so, I just had to.
I sent disturbing things to (Y/n). I found out about her cutting herself and how sensitive she was over sharp objects especially knives. (Y/n) had a heart attack the first time I sent her images, though Kenma helped her calm down.. she was still rushed to the hospital.
Kenma would leave immediately after classes to go to the hospital to watch over her. She was asleep for a week and the way how Kenma looks like, he was restless again. I heard that she was rushed to the ER three times. I kind of feel bad but something else made things just..
At some point, Kenma reported me to the school principal and I got a lot of demerits. My mother hated me more than she already had, she insulted me and called me a bitch. An idiot, pathetic, stupid and naive. Do you know what I did the next night?
"Ma'am, I'll take care of this. Please go to bed." I tell the maid and she immediately left after I convinced her.
I let the gas flow into the air. I did some arrangements and had a timer, it was like a bomb. I left the house for a few minutes and came back when I heard an explosion. Our house was on fire... it's beautiful! My parents are inside.. wait.. mom.. dad..
"S-Someone help!"
I got sent to the mental hospital after that incident. They gave me the inheritance, I was still rich despite everything. Many people died because of the fire, everyone but me. I stayed in the hospital for 20 days, I missed the prom because of it. But when I got back to school, they were together.
Kenma didn't hesitate to show her that he loves her. Their affection around the public audience was set to a minimum level, leaning on each other's shoulders or holding hands. That was the very least. But I know they did more when they were alone... he found the one he loves.
"(Y/n)! Don't you dare." (Y/n) and Kenma's chasing each other inside the classroom. She's threatening him that she'd show everyone his picture.
"Come on, Kenma. You look pretty here!" I was heading out the door when she hit me by accident. She literally froze when she noticed me. Kenma immediately pulled her away and they left the room.
I could accept.... your relationship, if only you two could remember me. You two never remembered me. I gave up on ruining their relationship. Both of them were happy, Kenma always panics whenever (Y/n)'s down and (Y/n) would always try to keep them both together. They will last for a lifetime.
At one point, (Y/n) almost fell of the building again but this time, Kenma was successful with saving her life. They were supposed to be taking a break from each other but she didn't take it properly and she almost died, again. They still took a break nonetheless but it took a while before they did.
I only ever hear the gossips from people, the last day of Sports Fest was the last day they would be ignoring each other. We played volleyball for it, (Y/n) and I were a part of our class' volleyball team. We had uhm miscommunication so I kind of injured her, I accidentally sprained her ankle when I stepped on her foot. It was an accident.
"Love are you okay?" Squeals were heard from classmates when Kenma called her Love. It would've been me if only things were different. "Oi, aren't you going to apologize to my girlfriend?" You're so cold.
"I'm sorry.. it was an accident. I stepped on her foot when I was about to move back. I swear it's not on purpose." I explain but he just gave me a dirty look, carrying her away from the court.
They started talking again, even with the sprain... (Y/n) was smiling brightly to be able to communicate with her boyfriend again. I support their relationship... they're for each other. No matter what happens in the future, they'll look for each other if they got lost and they'll get married and have their own family.
If second year was already full of sweetness because of them. They seemed a lot closer in third year, he gave her a promise ring... see? They're planning on marriage. They don't treat their relationship as a joke, they're really serious about each other. Kenma really loves her.
I got caught up on drugs because of someone I don't remember then right now I am being chased by the police. I'm just driving off as fast as I could. Why are they chasing me? It's not me!!!! I got caught up on stupid shit! Ugh fucking assholes!
I look at the rearview mirror, looking back up front. "Shit! (Y/n)..." I hit her.. No.. "Oh fucking... Kenma.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry to you both.. But I have to save myself right now." I drove around her, tears falling from my eyes when I saw her body just lying on the ground.
I don't want to hurt anymore people.... I hurt her again.... I'm such a fucking failure! I drove off to the place where there are no cameras, I got off the car and let it fall off into the sea. No one will know it was me who hit her... it was an accident. An accident!
I decided to help Kenma out... her friends greatly opposed to having me around her but he defensed me or so I thought. "It'll change her view of the past, let her be."
And so that's what happened. I lived with (Y/n) in the school dormitory and I thought she started moving on from Kenma after we met Naoki. He likes her and it was obvious but (Y/n) was oblivious. Then one day I just found out that Naoki violated her which made me so angry.
"Fuck you! Why the fuck did you violate my best friend?!" I felt so disgusted by him.
"It was random ok?! I didn't mean to!" I didn't mean to take her memories away from her too, for the second time that is. And of course for the first time too.
(Y/n) continued searching for Kenma's love, for her boyfriend. Kenma obviously still loved her, he always checks on (Y/n) every now and then. It was suffocating to watch them like that, I wanted them to get back together and be happy. That was my wish before people would find out the truth about me.
I found my man too, Chinen Shinjiro. He started treating me nicely and we started hanging out more. Gin would mostly spend time with his wife so, he and I would be together. I think we had sex while drunk, good thing I take pills. He was good— not that I know how sex is.
He didn't want it to be just a one night stand so he started to court me. I actually told him that he could just be my boyfriend, I really enjoyed having him around. He loved me and embraced me for who I am. I also told him the truth about me, about why (Y/n) doesn't remember anything.
"That was the past, right? That doesn't change the fact that I love you." He pressed a kiss on my lips, cupping my cheeks for the kiss to deepen. I'm crying. "Our relationship won't end just because of your past, I love you and you love me. That's what matters to me."
"I love you... Shinjiro.." He pulled me into a hug, patting my back as he kissed the side of my head.
"I want you to be my wife so, I don't care about that." He backed away and kissed me, we had uhmm.... sex that night.
Shinjiro made me believe that things could change but, with me.. things might not change at all. I love him and he loves me, I learned to love someone who loved me. He really cares about me. He's my boyfriend and I'm his girlfriend and nothing will change that.
Years passed and I thought things would go well between us but apparently, the police reinvestigated the case of my parents' death. I got scared. I would be sent to jail. I'm pregnant with our first child, I'm on my 7th month. We already got married.. he loves me a lot.
But one day, everything changed that. I got arrested right at the company and (Y/n) cried seeing me like this. "Mama I hate you!" Emika don't say that to your mother, she was the victim!
"Please let me say something to her.. she doesn't understand the situation. I have to explain myself." I say but the police wouldn't let me.
(Y/n) never pressed charges against me but of course, I was still guilty of a crime I committed. I was already legal when I hit her by accident and that itself was already a crime, let alone turning the accident into a hit and run. I felt bad for her and everyone.
"Mama's not home.... she leave.. Mama doesn't love me.." Kenma and Emika visited me. She's crying a lot. "Auntie tell mama I'm sorry... I love mama.. I don't hate mama.."
I turn to Kenma to ask and he sighed. "She left to look for her memories. She left yesterday and this baby right here, hasn't stopped crying since her mother left. (Y/n)'s just a bit shaken up.." I nod and smile apologetically.
"Emika, tell mama I'm sorry." I say, seeing her pout her lips. She looks a lot like (Y/n).
"But mama's not here.." She turned to Kenma and started to cry harder. "Papa.."
It must be hard on him, (Y/n) mostly took care of her whenever she cried. Kenma just kissed her forehead and wiped her cheeks. She probably got tired, she's now quietly crying on his shoulder. I really feel bad for doing this to them, Emika must be scared.. really scared that she might lose her mommy.
"Uhm, we'll have to go.. I have to take care of her and you know.." I just nod and smile, seeing a small one form on his face. "Someone else came for you. I'll see you next time."
Kenma stood and headed for the door, Emika gave me a small wave while she cried on him. Must be nice to have a family of your own without anyone going against you, even if the road to marriage was hell.. at least you get to have a wonderful life with your family after.. I'd love that.
The door opened which caught my attention, showing me Shinjiro. He just smiled. He sat in front of me and now it's kind of awkward. Am I allowed to kiss him? Have a hug? Or just a little bit of alone time with him? Just a little time with him is enough... but I want more.
"No one knows that we're married." He says, chuckling to ease the tension. "I miss you."
"I'm sorry.. uhm.." He leaned over and cupped my cheek, pressing his lips against mine. "Shinjiro... I'm really sorry.." He shook his head and continued kissing me, wiping the tears off my cheeks.
"I love you... we knew this would happen from the start. It's okay, I still love you.. you're my wife.." I do love him too.
Everyday he'd come over to visit me, he would bring a fruit for me and he would tell me stories about what's going on with the outside world. He never gave up on looking for a way for us to be together. Now I know how Kenma was with (Y/n), whatever he did... it was to help her and spend time with her.
It's really hard. To be pregnant and to crave for food while your in jail. The baby has to be healthy.. but I only ever get healthy food when Shinjiro comes by. I hope that I could eat proper food just for our baby, my child should live... I can disappear just not her. I don't want her to experience whatever..
(Y/n) visited once but told me to keep it a secret that she's really just around the corner. She gave me food that are for the baby to be healthy, she's really not minding whatever the reason why I'm here. She still smiled brightly and called me her best friend.
One day, I was just talking to my baby. Feeling my belly to see if she kicked, she's really cute. I haven't seen her yet but she's adorable and I love her. While talking to my baby, the female police officer smiled at me when she opened the door. She told me to get my things and head out.
When I got outside, she made me change my clothes into the ones she was holding. A maternity dress. I needed help so she helped me out. She said that, out of all the criminals in here... I'm the most innocent one. I look like I am but the crimes I did were horrible. I just accepted that I did them and will pay with my life if I have to.
She escorted me out, seeing Shinjiro and the Kozume's right outside the center. Wait... did they bail me out? Emika approached me and held my hand, smiling sweetly as she looked up. She's so tiny, (Y/n) your child is literally you of the new generation.
"Hey, gotta get outta there to take care of the baby." (Y/n) said, having Kenma kiss her cheek as he wrapped an arm around her waist and... Shinjiro did the same to me.
"Auntie mama said she loves me!" Emika ran to her mother and she carried her. "Mama said she will bring me to the amusement park.. we will buy Elsa stuff toy!" Kenma chuckled and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"Thank you... all of you.."
We spent the day together, (Y/n) helped us buy clothes for the baby. She's really happy that I'm out. Emika.. I thought she picked out clothes for our baby but, she picked out clothes for herself instead. Kenma barely scolds her for buying stuff, must be nice to be rich.
Shinjiro picked out a lot of clothes, he's really excited. Kozume... look at them three. They're so happy, full of love.. they're a really happy family. I'm happy that they're happy and that I gave up on Kenma, and that I gave Shinjiro a chance to prove himself.
The time we spent was precious, I gave birth after a month. She's premature but she's really healthy. Emika was excited to see her, (Y/n) and Emika would visit everyday to be with Ara. They look so cute together, I wish this view would last long.
I want to see Ara grow up, be there for her, support her when she's older and when she wants to be someone someday. I want to be by her side and show her that I love her. I want to see her go to school, help her with her studies, help her whenever she's having trouble.
I want to see her go to college, graduate, get married and have kids. I want to see everything.. I want to grow old with my family, with him, with friends and die naturally. I want to be here for everyone, I want to see them achieve greater things...
But with my crimes.. it's impossible.
Two years passed. I was allowed to stay with my family for my daughter to have me around her. I did everything we could together, we went on dates and I played with her as much as we could. I took pictures of her, with her and her father. We're happy.
"Mommy... milk..." Ara walked up to me, she woke up from her sleep. I pick her up and we head to the living room, she's so cute.
"I love you baby." I love you very much, Ara.
I heard the front door, he's home. "Hun, I bought mangoes. You said you wanted some." He greeted me with a kiss on the lips and Ara on the forehead. "She's still sleepy?" I nod, nuzzling my daughter's nose.
"Oh, did you buy her cereal?" He smiled and nodded, kissing the top of my head. "Shinjiro.." I turn to him, having his lips land on mine. "She really looks like you.."
"Really? I think she looks like both of us." I smile and he kissed my forehead. "You're scared, aren't you?" I nod and Ara went to him. "Do you want daddy to put you in bed?" She nodded and we all went to the bedroom.
We told her stories about princesses, I told her Cinderella's story. Only after a few minutes she fell asleep again while her father brushed her hair. She's really peaceful whenever she sleeps, she's energetic when she's recharged. I will see that again after she wakes up in the morning.
"The trial's tomorrow... Daichi-san told me the possible punishments. Death is one of them. I might not be able to see her again.... she won't see me ever again." I whisper, feeling my tears fall from my eyes. "I'm sorry for being like this.. if I only.. I only walked a proper path she wouldn't...."
"It's okay.. for the very least.. you accept the truth. She loves you, I love you.. no matter what."
We both head outside and cuddled while watching movies, Ara didn't wake up so we spent the night alone. We just looked back on how we first were during our first meeting. He was really awkward and really having sex was never in our plans.
I couldn't sleep all night, thinking about how I could help my daughter and my husband while I still could. Shinjiro didn't sleep either, he tried to cheer me up as much as he could. But nothing worked. I'm still worried and anxious over the trial tomorrow.
I didn't want Ara to be around but she kept on crying when we tried to leave her with Mitsuki and Honami. The Kozume's are coming and Naoki will be there too. I feel so scared over what will happen, I can't imagine how (Y/n) would look like and Ara, Emika.... Shinjiro..
(Y/n) and I were given permission to talk to each other. "Hey... I didn't really want to do this because I'm scared.. I will cry if we do this." She explained, tears are already rolling down your cheeks, (Y/n). "I love you and you know that, the past is in the past... I know how painful it was for all of us but you were there.. Thank you.."
"Awee, why are you crying? You're making me cry too.." I don't know what to tell her. "I'm scared.. I want to be there for my daughter, for Ara and for Shinjiro.. for you. I'm really sorry for hurting you a lot back then.. Be happy, with Kenma and Emika.."
"I am happy, grateful, loved.. but it's incomplete without you around. Thanks for everything and I forgive you.. I have ever since back then. I knew you were hostile to me in the past but you were incredibly sweet to me.. No matter what happens, you are my best friend."
(Y/n) was asked to leave, she gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek before leaving. Ara also had to be breastfed before I could go, she was crying for milk and the only way for her to stop is to drink my milk. Shinjiro comforted me, Ara tried cheering me up too... I love all of you.
I'm now beside my lawyer, (Y/n) begged him to win this trial for me. But I told him to do what is right, and if he wins this for me then we're blessed and lucky. But if not, I will accept the consequences of my actions.. for getting caught up in some drug use and for running away.
I don't know why they asked (Y/n) to testify but she declined. She didn't want to do anything and it was obvious that she was shaking, she didn't want to speak against me. She just smiled at me and said that everything will be okay.
Emika and Ara are in a different room, they're with Ena and Honami. I really wish I could've done things the right way. I hate being like this..... I want my daughter to have both her parents by her side. I love her more than anything, I love her and her father more than anyone.. I'm sorry..
My heart dropped and I froze but I just smiled, it was to be expected. "...sentenced to death for her crimes......"
"I never pressed charges against her!" (Y/n) please just accept it. "But Kenma..." He made her sit back down and she cried on his shoulder. This is my punishment after all.
Shinjiro just smiled at me when our eyes met. He mouthed me an 'I love you,' 'it's okay, I still love you,' and I couldn't help but cry. I can't be there for my daughter, for Shinjiro, for my friends.. I'm sorry..
I'll be sent back to jail and I wouldn't be able to see her anymore. I went to where Ara was and cried while I hugged her tight. Emika was clueless too, when I heard her cry I knew that her mother was crying too and that she just came in the room.
Ena and Honami are speechless, Mitsuki seems to understand what's going on. Shinjiro hugged both me and Ara tight, we cried and cried.. All we did was cry. (Y/n) kept saying she's sorry when it wasn't even her fault, it was mine from the start.
"Narumi... I don't want this.." (Y/n)... "I said that I will never press charges but why did they... I don't.." Emika kept crying too and now Kenma had to calm both of them down. He's sad too and I can see but he couldn't cry because of his wife, he's too selfless.
"Mommy, why are you crying?" Ara sweetheart, mommy's sorry. "Mommy... are you leaving Ara?" I don't want to leave you baby, I want to stay. "Mommy.. don't leave baby.."
"Papa.. is mama going to leave again? Or auntie?" Emika asked her father, all he could do is shake his head and kiss her cheek. "Why is mama crying?"
"So that was the decision... Narumi, I'm sorry.." Honami said. She couldn't look at me properly.
"It's my punishment guys.. we can't avoid it.." I smile sweetly at my daughter, nuzzling her nose as I tried to stop crying. "Baby.. be a good girl to daddy, listen to what he tells you to do.. I love you very much.. I will be watching over you, okay? Make daddy happy.. and mommy too." I kiss her forehead, letting her calm down until she fell asleep on my shoulder.
The next days were numbered.. From a month.. to weeks.. to week.. and to days. I would have Ara visit me everyday. She just smiles at me and asks for milk, she would tell me what her aunties did for her. I cried every time I saw her again. I'm sorry baby..
(Y/n) came over too and we both cried a lot. She kept saying she loves me, she's sorry, that she's sorry for being unable to help me. That Emika made a card for me, I wish I could keep it.. I wish I could keep living... I wish I could stay here for my family.
My life was a mess and it was still a mess even when things got fixed in the end. It was already a given that I wasn't fated to live long... I am sinful. I killed my parents.. I almost killed her twice, I almost killed Kenma.. I was stupid and this is the consequence of those.
No matter where I'll be, I'm here to watch over you.I love you both, I'm sorry for leaving.. I'll always be here for you, I love you all.
Chinen Narumi
Dec. 3 1993 - Oct. 4 2025