It's been a while. Sorry about that. I've been busy.
We got back from the hospital, tired. After Steven's CT scan and getting the results, I instantly had to devise a plan to bring back his lack of emotions for us to perform an amalgam. Steven sat on the couch as I made my way toward the kitchen to get him a glass of water.
My belly growled as my insides began twisting.
Weird, my belly doesn't rumble. I'm not even hungry, I haven't been experiencing hunger since I existed. Why is this time any different from the previous? What's happening?
I gave Steven the glass of water and sat beside him. "I'm so hungry."
"I thought you don't eat?" He gave me a weird look.
"My belly just rumbled, Steven. How come it is not hunger? It sounded like the world just hiccupped." I raised an eyebrow and smirked. And I thought it would work on him, but it didn't. That proved to me I'm not, at least, the most humorous.
He narrowed his eyes at me, confused.
I looked away. "Too cliché, right? Okay, wrong approach."
I looked back at him, and he was smiling. Why is he smiling at me? I asked him why he's giving me an expression, to which he didn't respond. "Stop giving me that smile, I don't understand what you mean!"
"It's just so overrated, Pink."
We stared at each other for a long time. His smile brought such overfilling joy in me I never thought I'll feel in my lifetime. His rosy cheeks and his eyes attract, making my chest throb in an unusually good way. "You smiled."
He beamed, but he looked away in an instant. "My emotions are getting useless. Well, not really, I can still feel something. It's just that it's not that fluttering and rainbows and sunshine anymore like the past few weeks."
I snorted. My belly suddenly rumbled again. Now his belly did, too. We're both hungry. "Anything you'd like to eat?" I asked. "You decide."
He hummed as he thought for a second. "Pizza would be cool, I guess."
"Pizza it is." I stood and went to the telephone, dialing Domino's Pizza. Ordering, I requested to add pepperoni, black olives, mushrooms, and basil. Steven loved those toppings as much as I do. That though, my tongue is incapable of tasting any food, at least, that's what I assume. I... haven't eaten a darn food since I came out. All I do was cook for Steven, but never did I taste any of them. Sure, I knew how to cook, but I made the taste well by my nose. I have a strong sense of smell that can determine if I'm putting the right ingredient and measurement. It's a skill.
They told me to wait for fifteen minutes.
I took out some orange juice in the fridge and brought it on the center table. Steven was touching his bellybutton while getting lost in his thoughts.
I bent over to face him. "Steven, you okay?"
Steven twitched his face to look at me with wide eyes. "Oh, yeah."
I grasped his hands, but it was freezing as an iceberg, so I had to let go immediately. "Your hands are super cold."
"My hands feel numb, actually. I tried to hold an ice cube and I couldn't feel how chilly it is. Must've caused this goddamn swelling bellybutton I have or probably something else but, I don't know." He poured orange juice on his glass and chugged.
"When did it bleed?"
He looked at me unknowingly. "Pink, you gotta' warn me about the topic. I'm trying to drink and then blood's now smothered all over my mind."
"I'm going to ask you, either way."
He put his orange juice down. "Just this morning when I finally took a shower. It doesn't hurt though, it's just that... it's disturbing to look at. I tried to clean the smudges all over my body, which took me a long time to do. That got you worried—you were probably thinking what's happening inside the bathroom."
"I had suspected why you didn't come out, even when you insisted that you were about to. I completely understand and I'm not mad at you for it. You did it because you didn't want me to worry that much."
I smiled, but only temporarily, as soon as I saw Steven lost in his thoughts again. I bent over again to catch an expression he's about to pull. "What is it?"
"I'm just bothered about this whole situation I'm going through. Back before you existed, everything was okay. But then things happened, which was unfortunate for me to experience. My work, my status, Connie... everything has fallen down on me, making me stack the cards again. It's a tough job."
"Don't put too much pressure on yourself, Steven."
"I already did, non-consensually. My life is a scribbled drawing with no meaning that made me hate myself a lot more. I've been crying every night in silence, wishing all of this would be over. I'm losing hope and I don't know if I could do the things I want to discover anymore if everything gets worse."
He dropped his chin. "What am I thinking? I'm not giving respect to myself, I'm losing everything. You're a part of me, but you don't feel everything I feel, which is discouraging. I don't love me, Pink, and that's how I understand why you don't either."
"But I do." I lifted his chin and tugged it slightly closer toward me. "You're allowed to talk about how upset you are in this state you're dealing with, and that's okay. Sure, it seems exaggerating to hear, but who cares about it? No one, because it doesn't matter. The only important thing we need to do is to fuse, but we can't do that with your emotions repressing as time goes by. We can work this out together, Steven, I assure that."
He produced a smile, which made me do, too. His rosy cheeks enhanced its vibrancy as his eyes twinkled. He stared down at my lips, giving me the permission. I had no clue he was about to until he planted a kiss on me.
His soft lips gave me warmth and a tingly feel inside. My heart raced to an extent which I couldn't avoid. His hands stroked the back of my pink puffy pompadour hair as it cast me to a deep curse. His other hand crawled on my arms. I closed my eyes as I let the lingering luscious peck lure me all the way.
We collided. I looked at him in complete stun. My face turned red instantly, which was odd. My words weren't able to function properly, making it difficult for me to talk. Steven looked at me like something's wrong.
"Was I too forward? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do it, I-I don't know what came over me. I-I got carried away by that moment!" He sighed. "Pink, I apologize a lot. I shouldn't have done that; that was a mistake. I should probably change my clothes. Sorry."
He stood about to leave. But I held his hand, gripping it so that our hands wouldn't part. I grabbed his collar and yanked him to a kiss again. My other hand traced the curves of his body, from his shoulders to his waist, as I tugged him closer to me. This feeling, so wonderful, I refused to stop.
I stopped and looked at him happily. "Stop complaining."
He smiled at me.
I looked out of the window, and the sun was setting. I wanted Steven to see something that will persuade him to be a lot more confident. I stood and took his hand. "Come on, take my hand. I want to show you something."
"Where?"
"Just follow me."
We got out of the house went to the rooftop. I helped him, lifting him up, and steadied him. I let him wrap his arms around my waist.
"Do you trust me?" I asked.
He blushed again. "Yes."
I jumped intensely as we float up in the air. Steven expanded his eyes, mesmerizing an awe view of the sunset glimmering behind clouds. I smiled just by looking at him. Never did I feel this happy in a lifetime. My feelings are irrelevant, to be honest, and I kept repressing them if it's unnecessary to use. But this, it's something I loved doing for.
He said, "It's beautiful up here."
"Wanna explore somewhere else?" I raised an eyebrow.
"If you insist."
I took a grip on his body. "Hold tight."
He held tight, curling up in a fetal position. I blasted us up above even more than we roamed around city and bunch of other places. Rivers, mountains, forests, towns, we ventured. I let him touch the clouds, reaching his hand at them. He giggled, doing it so.
We sat above a skyscraper as we let the sunset continue to sink. Turned to hold my hand as he spoke, "I had fun, don't you?"
I just shrugged, but I smiled.
"Right." He turned to face the sunset. "Why d'you want me to have fun, anyway? I mean, it's not that you're probably trying to make me feel uplifted?"
I didn't respond and made a straight countenance.
"Are you?"
I shifted over to his side. "Steven, I want you to know that there's a whole another world for you to discover. New girls, new opportunities for you to improve, possibilities for you to encounter. Problems are temporary. It sometimes may be permanent if you try to overcomplicate it, but it will not be forever. I'm doing this because I care about you. I want you to be okay, not just physically but mentally and emotionally. Start thinking you will get better."
Steven grinned. "I will get better."
"Louder, Steven."
"I WILL GET BETTER!"
We chuckled in hilarity. Steven landed his head on my shoulder, which made me do the same on top of his head. I implanted hope for him and that pushed me to continue making him feel happy. It's only the start and I'm already thinking of other ways that I will do next.
I hope this doesn't go bad as I would predict.