Chapter 18- Renaissance pt 1
We drove for about a half hour and came into a parking to a much swankier, and clean looking hotel called the Maritimes Hotel. Thank god, I couldn’t picture spending a night in a place like that cockroach infested hole we were just at. Anything was better than some cot in some shack somewhere in the wilderness in Africa. At least I could focus on that, any distraction was a welcomed one. I didn’t know what exactly happened but Bronx was gone and that left Ambrose and myself all alone in a hotel room. It sure didn’t help that I had some recollective memory of Ambrose and the startling part is that it wasn’t so startling.
“This place up to your standards princess?” Ambrose teased as he parked the car not far from the entrance.
“Why yes, I believe it meets my requirements. Clean, new and well now that I think about it, there is one thing wrong with it.” I pursed my lips together and pressed my index finger against it, trying to look deep in thought.
“What’s that, love?” Ambrose turned to face me, while unbuckling his seat belt.
Why was he wearing a seatbelt? I mean if we crashed it’s not like either one of us would die. I gave my head a shake and refocused.
“You’re here.” I pretended to look appalled, but secretly I smiled.
“Why believe it or not, at one point in time you would have begged to have me alone in a hotel room with you.... the things I would have done to you....” His husky voice trailed off into thought meanwhile I was becoming more startled and more hot and bothered than before.
I knew exactly what he would do to me and I felt like a hot mess the more I thought about it. I tried really hard not to let his words affect me. I didn’t hesitate before getting out of the car and heading towards the entrance.
“I want two rooms. Preferably far apart from each other.” I muttered to the check in guy.
“We only have one room. It has two beds though?” He watched me nervously, I could feel his heart racing and his hands shaking.
“We’ll take it.” Ambrose handed the clerk a credit card.
“No we won’t.” I turned around crossing my arms across my chest. I was not going to share a room with Ambrose, not if I could help it.
“”Yes, we will.” Ambrose barked, giving me a very unimpressed and don’t f*** with me look.
I smiled and mumbled an okay. As the guy handed him a room key that read five, I marched over towards the door that read four and knocked.
A fat, bald man wearing a white wife beater shirt and brown trousers answered the door, looking boggled but then his eyes lit up when he saw me.
“What can I do for you sweet thang?” He eyed my chest like a kid eyed toys on christmas.
“Hi, I was wondering if you could go spend the night in your car so I could use your room.” I smiled and his sweet expression fell.
“Are you insane, it’s freezing out.” He mumbled about to close the door when I stopped it with my hand.
I sighed heavily. “Give me your room key and go spend the night either in your car or in a ditch- I don’t really-” I was interrupted by Ambrose’s hand on my arm, looking pissed. This actually made me really smile, how I found him amusing and intimidating all at once was beyond me.
“Go back in your room. You never saw us.” Ambrose slammed the door shut and shoved me up against it.
“Listen, Bronx is after you so you’re going to stick with me whether you like it or not until the others arrive. Got it?” Ambrose looked down at me with hardened eyes.
“All you had to do was say please.” I pouted before grabbing the key from his hand and walked to the next door and went in.
“You drive me insane.” He mumbled while ruffling his hair. I wanted to tell him that really it was him driving me insane but I knew better.
“You annoy me, so I guess we’ll have to cope with it until tomorrow. I honestly don’t know why you’re going through this much trouble, you owe me nothing.” I pulled off my sweater so that
all I had on was a tight white camisole on.
“I owe you more than you know.” A sad look crossed his face and I wanted to ask what he meant by that but I was sort of scared, what if whatever he thought he owed me for had to do with why I didn’t want to remember him.
Ambrose went over to glance out the window, scanning the perimeter and then shut the blinds and just as quickly locked the doors and windows. For a vampire who didn’t really need sleep, he sure looked exhausted.
“Try and get some sleep, I’ll keep watch until morning.” Ambrose muttered before pulling out his cell, flipping through messages.
I was still a little flustered, how even being in a room with him had me wild with desire I thought sleep was a wise choice. I walked over to the bed furthest from Ambrose and slid off my pants, leaving only boycut underwear and my camisole. I tried to ignore the fact that his eyes were on me- heck I even thought up a witty quip or two to toss at him but he’d surely embarrass me further and I didn’t really mind the attention. I climbed into bed and closed my eyes tightly.
*Dream/Memory*
I moved quicker to stand next to Ambrose and when I touched him he completely went rigid. My eyebrows furrowed instantly as I pushed him into the side of the car.
“What the hell is with you!” I demanded forcing myself even more onto him ,leaving him no room to move.
“Nothing.” Ambrose slid me off of him so casually before walking a few steps and grabbing a cigarette from his pocket and lit it up , inhaling it with such a desperate need.
I crossed my arms and stared at him viciously. “ Bullshit.”
I waited for him to answer me.
Ambrose looked at the ground mostly before shaking his head while muttering something.
“I can’t do it.”
His voice was barely audible but I head with almost perfect clarity. I moved towards him this time slower and more cautiously.
“Can’t do what?” I asked tilting my head to see him.
“ I can’t save you.” His voice cracked as he met my gaze.
I didn’t know what to say to that. My throat was burning and I was actually choked up. I wanted to tell him that everything would be fine no matter what but I didn’t even believe it myself. The worst part about no matter what the outcome of this would be was that it would hurt the people I loved. I could deal with losing the people I loved and never to see them again- it was bearable so long as their lives weren’t in jeopardy than I would make due. I didn’t notice my eyes were watery until I looked down and a tear fell onto the back of my hand. I stepped in closer and buried my face into the crease of Ambrose’s neck and just wrapped my arms around his torso.
After what only seemed to be seconds I pulled away and smiled.
“You already have. I never wanted more out of life until I met you.”
I paused as I cupped his face in my hands and pulled his lips to mine. “ I love you.”
Ambrose had stopped kissing me and froze. Had I gone too far? I mean I was pretty sure I had said it before, in fact I was sure of it but those times it had gone unnoticed. Ambrose distanced himself momentarily and looked at me with a straight face. He grabbed my hands in his and laced our fingers.
“Say it again.” Ambrose demanded playfully.
“I love you?” I asked looking at him with a strange look of amusement on my face.
Ambrose had the sexiest grin on his face before pulling me against his chest and kissing me almost violently. His lips crashed into mine and my stomach seemed to being doing somersaults. This time I pulled away.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” I asked looking at him questioningly. I mean when someone says I love you a response either good or bad is sort of mandatory.
“Thank you.” Ambrose added teasingly as he pulled my hips up against him and continued to kiss me.
I pulled away again. “Thank you? I say I love you and you say thank you?”
Ambrose let out a soft laugh. “Trinity, you know that you drive me absolutely crazy - but I love you.”
I woke up really abruptly, was that a dream or had that actually happened? I layed on my side facing the wall and just stared at it. Everything felt so real, just like when we were in the Safe House. It had to be a memory, there was something about it that should have made me happy but instead it tugged at something deep inside of me. I knew if I pried to know more everything inside of me holding me together would fall apart. I was becoming dangerously too informed. I did this to myself, I knew that for some reason I chose to forget everything. Even something as great at this memory, I can’t fathom a situation worth forgetting something so memorable. I didn’t want to tear up but I felt my eyes burn. The dream was vivid, in this madness everything seemed lucid. I knew apart of me loved Ambrose, maybe even apart of me right now felt that way towards him.
I went to lay on my back when I noticed an old fashioned radio sitting on the coffee table near the window where Ambrose was sitting, he was fidgeting with the stations and put on some soft music.
“Did I wake you? I’ll turn it off.” Ambrose went to turn the dial and I went to sit up.
“No. I like the music.” I half smiled, it was hard to pretend I knew nothing when it felt like I knew everything- everything that mattered. Apart of me wanted to share what I remembered about us, an even bigger part of me wanted to ask him about other memories- the way he saw things.
Ambrose stood up and walked over towards the bed and extended his hand to me. “Since you can’t sleep.” He smiled earnestly towards me.
I shouldn’t have taken his hand but after a memory like that, I knew he remembered everything and it was probably killing him not to be with me the way we were before, or at least that’s how it felt. It was like I could sense things from him, like with Perseus only he and I were bonded. Maybe the bond broke? I didn’t know for sure, all I knew was whynot?
I gave my hand to Ambrose and his smile grew from ear to ear. He looked absolutely amazing, even with an exhausted look on his face and his midnight stubble showing. I leaped up and walked with him into the center of the tiny room and he drew me towards him. I felt less tense and surprisingly relaxed when his scent invaded my nostrils.
I layed my head on his shoulder but nuzzled my face into his neck. At first Ambrose seemed tense and a little surprised but soon enough he moaned ever so quietly but I felt the vibration in his chest when he became more relaxed. This made me smile a little bit, we moved around just slow dancing in the small living space of the hotel room.
‘You remember before we went to Tuoco, I told you I loved you and you said thank you. It was a real asshole move of you.’ I thought those words, and how I wanted to say that to him but for now I made a choice to keep quiet about my latest discoveries. Only as quickly as I had thought those words Ambrose came to a standstill, immobilized with shock. He had stopped moving and slowly pulled himself enough distance so he could look at me.
“What did you say?” He asked, watching my carefully with a stunned look plastered on his hauntingly beautiful face.
“Not a single word came out of my mouth.” I wondered how the hell he could have possibly heard that.
Becoming a little more than freaked out, I motioned myself back and made more than a little distance between the two of us. Ambrose grabbed ahold of my hand and tugged me closer to him. Like a scared rabbit, I backed away in fear. I didn’t want to have to deal with all this confrontation so soon. I wanted to figure out what all this meant.
“Just drop it, please.” I asked as I tugged my hand free from his and I noticed the light in his eyes began to dim a little.
‘I’m sorry.” Ambrose left some distance between us and went to sit on the bed facing the other direction.
I should be happy that he left well enough alone and gave me my space. Then why did I feel so shitty about it? I let out a long, frustrated sigh when I heard something.
‘ She remembers us.... she might not remember everything but she remembers that there was an us. I don’t understand why she’s pushing me away. Maybe she thought I was a mistake. Afterall she didn’t give me much notice before having her memory wiped. I love her and she’s alive, that’s all that matters. I can live knowing she doesn’t want me as long as she’s alive.’
Oh god, I just heard his thoughts. This is likely what happened when he heard what I said. But judging from his lack of movement he couldn’t tell that I had heard him. I felt sick to my stomach and low. He loves me enough that he’ll let me go, despite the fact that I remember.
I just wanted to reach out and touch him, so I climbed onto the bed. The motion caused him to turn around to face me, still sitting on the bed.
“It’s not that I don’t want you.” I muttered softly, staring at his soft, inviting lips.
Ambrose seemed to instantly realize whatever freak incident left him able to hear my thoughts that it went both ways. He cupped my cheek and furrowed his brows together, not understanding.
“Then what is it?” Ambrose asked desperately searching my eyes for some kind of answer.
I wasn’t ready to go into explanation mode, and I didn’t want him reading my thoughts so I leaned over and kissed him. I knew that right now, I had an urge to let him in- even if it was just for tonight and I felt that he wasn’t going to refuse me. He seemed to understand what I needed right now and he would be able to give it to me.
Laying myself back on the bed, pinned underneath Ambrose I smiled in between kisses. His hands slid up my thighs and rested on my hips as my arms locked protectively around his neck. I did love him, there was something very right about us and we could figure out the kinks as we went along. Finally, something I was sure of.
“Make love to me?” I asked tilting my head to the side, trying to see his eyes.
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear those words come out of your mouth.” His husky voice was filled with a hunger that only I could fill.